|Ghostbusters My Version
Author: Ron's Sweetie PM
My Version Of Ghostbusters. I hope you all like it. I tried to stay true to the movie but i added to it.Rated: Fiction T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Egon & Ray S. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,521 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10-09-09 - Published: 08-03-09 - id: 5273847
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
We begin Our story at the Collage where Dr Peter Venkman is trying out something new on two students.
After the male student left in a huff Peter talked to the female student, and asked her out.
Whenever Dr. Ray Stantz, and Dr. Egon Spengler's girlfriend walked into the room.
Ray "This is it this defentley it." Peter "Why Jackie what are you doing here taking Ray 101?"
Jackie "No Peter Egon asked me to come here with Ray to get some stuff so why don't go back to shocking geeks its what you do best." Ray "Leave her alone Peter."
Meanwhile back at the Libaray Egon was looking for any signs of ghosts whenever Jackie, Ray, and Peter showed up.
Peter picked up a book, and dropped it on the table. Egon jumped with fright.
Jackie "Peter your a jerk." Egon "Lets go catch a ghost." Jackie "Men are such boys."
Ray "Ecto Plasmic Resadue." Egon "I want sample of it to anyalze." Jackie "Get a sample Peter."
Peter "Egon your mucus." Jackie "Ahh." Peter "Has this to you before?" Ray"No." Peter "First time?" Ray "Yes."
Jackie walked away from the boys, and then she found the ghost. Peter,Egon, and Ray peaked their heads around to see it.
Ray hatched up a plan the boys walked towards the ghosts, and then Ray yelled "Get her."
Jackie, and the boys ran out of the libaray. And then went back to the collage.
When they got there the deen of the school was clearing out their machines. The deen had thrown them out of school.
The next day they went looking for a place for them to set up their Ghostbusting business.
Jackie was grossed out by the firehouse's state. Peter gave the realastate lady the money that Ray got for selling his childhood home.
The boys fixed it up. Then Peter hired Janine Melnitz as a secatary.
Jackie, and Janine became very good friends.
A few weeks into the business Dana Barrett came to the firehouse saying that there was a ghost in her appartment. Peter went back to Dana's appartment.
That night the boys were eating, and Jackie was reading.
Jackie put her book down,and walked over to Egon,and then she kissed him. Meanwhile Janine was on the phone with a hotel owner.
Janine " Hello Ghostbusters yes of course their serious you do you have no kidding yueah just give me the address oh of course they'll totaly discrit thank you we got one!"
Ray "A call." Jackie "Oh darn." Egon "You want to come?" Jackie "You guys go I'll be here when you come back." Egon "Okay I love you." Jackie "I love you too."
The guys left, and went to the hotel. When they got there they looked all over for the ghost Ray was the first on who saw the ghost.
Peter was the first one to get slimed. They caught the ghost in the ballroom.
A couple of hours later the guys returned to the firehouse.
Egon went to the bunckroom to change, and bumped into Jackie coming out of the shower.
Jackie "You guys are back huh."
Egon "Yeah we got the ghost."
Jackie "That's good sorry I was just in the shower."
Egon "I can see that you look cold." Jackie "I always look cold after a shower or a bath."
Egon "Is the shower clean." Jackie "Yep enjoy,and I'll see you later tonight." Egon "Yes you will."
Jackie went to change. Egon took a shower,and then he went to see the woman he loved.
Jackie "Hi handsome tired?" Egon "Yes I am but I'd rather spend time with you."
Jackie "Egon you are so good to me." Egon "I love you with all my heart." Jackie "So do I, I love you love you the same way Egon."
The next day Janine hired Winston Zeddemore. He became the fourth ghostbuster.
That afternoon Peter asked Dana out on date for Thursday which was the same night as Louis Telly's party. Dana said yes then she goes home.
Meanwhile back at the firehouse Walter Peck shows up from the EPA he threatens to shut down the the contaiment unit, and Peter threatens to sue his ass for wrongful proccesation.
Winston "What do you mean the big?" Egon Well lets say this twinkie represents the normal amount pyshco canedic engery in the New York area acording to this morning sample it be a twinkie 35 feet weighing aproxmently 600 pounds.
Ray "Coughs" Winston "That's a big Twinkie." Jackie "Egon you're such a genious."
Egon "I know." Ray "We could be on the verge of a four fold cross rip PKE even darngerous prepoortions."
Peter "We just had visit from the EPA hows the grid holding up?" Winston "Not good tell em about the twinkie." Peter "What about the twinkie?"
Meawhile back at Dana's appartemnt Dana had just been kidnapped by a terror dog.
Louis Telly also got attcked by a terror dog.
And was running around New York looking for the gate keeper.
Peter was trying to have a date with a Dana that wasn't Dana.
Egon, Jackie, and Janine were hanging around the firehouse whenever the police dropped of Louis Telly.
Janine "You are so kind to care of that you know your a real humanatrian."
Egon "I don't think he's human." Jackie "He creeps me out." Egon "It will be okay."
Meanwhile Ray, and Winston were driving the car around the city talking about judgement day.
Meanwhile back at the firehouse the EPA showed up to shut the contaiment unit.
Janine "I tried to stop them they said they have a warrent." Egon "You can't shut it down."
Jackie "You'll distory the city if you do." Egon Boom in hand singnals.
Jackie "We need to run now RUN!" Egon "Clear the building!"
Louis "This is it this the sign." Janine Yeah its a sign alright going out of business." Ray "What happened?"
Egon "They shut down the protection grid." Winston "That's bad isn't it?"
Ray "Yeah." Jackie "That son of bitch I'm gonna kick his ass." Egon "No I will." Jackie "Stop Egon stop."
The Ghostbusters were arrested. Meanwhile Dana's window blew up.
While in Jail Egon, and Ray exsplain things to Peter, and Winston. Then they are let out to go to see the mayor.
The ghostbusters talk to the mayor, and he lets them go fight the ghosts.
Once they arrive at Dana's appartment building everyone is cheering, and screaming.
The guys look up, and see what's going on. They are scraed, and shocked.
Ray "We'll have to put some over time in on this one."
Then the ground began to shake, and crack the ghostbusters fell into a big whole.
Everyone was afraid that they hurt or even worse. Whenever they pulled themselves up.
The people cheering "They are, They are,YAY!" Peter "I was in no way prepared for that its alright we can handle it we can take it they want to play rough."
People Cheering "Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters." Peter "Wanna play rough lets go lets do it okay."
They went inside Dana's appartment building they climbed up the stairs to the floor Dana's appartment was.
They entered Dana's appartment, and walked up a flight of stairs to the very top of the building.
Jackie was in the crowd below watching, and waiting for Egon.
Whenever she saw that the guys were hanging off the edge of the building she managed to sneak past everyone else, and she got inside the building.
She ran upstairs to Dana's appartment when she got there she walked up the same steps the boys did.
When she saw them she ran to Egon. Egon was not happy to see Jackie there where they were fighting a ghost.
Egon "Jackie what are you doing up here?" Jackie "I was scared when I saw you hanging off the edge of the building."
Egon "You need to leave now so you don't get hurt." Jackie "I'm not leaving."
Gozer "The traveler has come choose or parish." Peter "What do you mean choose we don't understand."
Gozer "Choose, choose the form of the destruer." Peter "Empty your heads." Gozer "The chose was made."
Peter "Whoa, Whoa,Whoa." Gozer "The Traveler has come."
Peter "Nobody choosed anything did you?" Egon "No." Peter "Did you?" Winston "My mind is a total blank."
Jackie "It sure as hell wasn't me." Peter "I didn't choose anything."
Everyone walked up to Ray. And looked at him as if he just killed someone.
Ray "It just poped in there." Peter "What, what just poped in there?!"
Ray "I I tried to think." Egon "Look !" Ray "No It can't be, It can't be."
Winston "What did you do Ray oh shit." Ray "Its the Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man."
Jackie "Oh My God Ray why?" Ray "I tried to think of the most harmless thing something that could never possibly distory us Mr. Stay Puffed." Peter "Ray has gone bye bye Egon what have you got left?"
Egon "Sorry Venkman I lost my campastiy for rashnel thought."
Winston "Oh no." Peter "Mother puss bucket hey nobody steps on a church in my town." Ray "One two three blast him."
Everyone ran, and hid so the Marshmellow man wouldn't find them.
Ray "Funny us going out like this killed by a 100 foot Marshmellow man."
Peter "Hey maybe we've been going about this all wrong this Mr. Stay Puffed is okay he's a salor he's in New York we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble."
Jackie "Is that all you ever think about Peter getting lucky?"
Peter "No comment." Jackie "Your such a dork Peter."
Egon "Will you two stop it?!" Jackie "Sorry Egon who raffled your feathers Janine?"
Egon "I've got it the door swings both ways we can reverse the partical flow threw the gate."
Peter "How?" Egon "We'll cross the streams." Peter "Excuse me Egon you said crossing the streams was bad."
Ray "Cross the streams." Peter "Your going to endanger us ,your endanger our client the nice lady who paid us in evance before she became a dog."
Peter "I love this plan I'm excited to be a part of it lets do it." Winston "This job denfently worth another five a year." Ray "Whoa." Egon "Hurry."
Peter "See ya on the other side Ray." Ray "Nice working ya Dr. Venkman."
Jackie stood back,and watched as the guys crossed the streams.
The last thing she heard was Peter yelling "Get the hell out of here!"
Everyone was covered in marshmellow. Jackie got up, and began to look for the guys.
The first two she found were Winston,and Ray.
Jackie "Are you guys alright?" Ray "Were fine are you alright?"
Jackie "I'm fine, where's Egon, and Peter?" Winston "I don't know."
Egon "Is everyone alright?"
Ray "Yes, are you alright." Egon Yes "I'm fine." Jackie "I was worried about you forgive me for loving you Egon."
Egon "I love you Jackie come here." Jackie "So were okay?"
Egon "Were okay." Peter "Just kiss her already."
Egon kissed Jackie witha lot of passion. Then they walked to where the terror dogs were standing.
Ray "Oh it smells like BBQed dog hair oh Venkman I'm sorry I'm sorry I just forgot." Jackie "Oh Peter I'm so sorry." Ray "Look !"
The Boys,and Jackie cracked opened a terror dog shell, and saved Dana.
They also saved Louis.
Jackie watched as Peter,and Dana hugged eachother she was happy Peter had someone.
Everyone walked out of the appartemnt building. Peter, and Dana kissed eachother. People cheered.
Then Egon, and Jackie kissed eachother, and people cheered even more.
Everyone headed back to the firehouse. Egon,and Jackie alseep. And Peter,and dana asleep.
When they got back to the firehouse everyone went to bed.
The next day Jackie woke up, and got dressed into her blue jeans, and rose colored shirt.
Then she went for a walk when she came to Dana's appartment she looked up at the wreck.
Then she went back to the firehouse, and when she did she saw that Ray was awake making breakfast.
Jackie "Good morning Ray." Ray "Good morning Jackie sleep well?"
Jackie "I guess."
Ray "What's wrong?" Jackie "Egon is so distint I think he's gonna break it off between us."
Ray "Aw I'm so sorry." Jackie "Thank you Ray."
Egon "Good morning Jackie would you like to go out to dinner tonight?" Jackie "Sure."
Jackie walked away from way,and Egon. Then she got dressed for her date.
Meanwhile Egon was getting ready for the as well.
Around 7:00 Egon,and Jackie went out on their date.
Egon "Jackie I love you but." Jackie "But what?"
Egon "I want to end things." Jackie "Why what did I do?"
Egon "Its not because of you its because the ghostbusters are no longer together."
Jackie "So you just want trow away what we have because you damb asses got in trouble with the city, and the mayor?" Egon "Yes I'm sorry." Jackie "Goobye Egon."
Jackie got up, and ran out of the resturant crying.
Then it started to rain. She was running in the rain back to the firehouse she was wet threw, and very sad.
She knew she had to get back, get her stuff , and leave her memories of Egon behind.
Hey everyone its Jackie. Here is my version of The first Ghostbuster flim.
I hope allof you can be kind,and like my story. If you don not like it please do not read and review it. Thank you.