Author: Alteizen Riesse PM
It's not really that cool being a ninja... well I mean it satirically.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Guy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,754 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 04-20-11 - Published: 08-05-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5277218
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Genre : Sidescrolling Game and Fighting Game
Appearances : Final Fight series, Street Fighter Alpha series
GUY'S DILEMMA chapter One
Do you know who I am?
I am known by the name of Guy.
I am a ninja. A rightful heir of the Bushin Style.
I know most people nowadays think of Ninja as something cool and that, (partially maybe because of the Naruto series that's booming right now) but, There's a major loss of being a ninja, I tell you.
Sure you know about those fancy jutsus, deadly weapons, Cool outfits, stealthy style, etc etc... but all of those are just hoax, made to intimidate our foes. Those were made to scare the bones out of our enemies everytime they know that they are dealing with a ninja. It's some sort of psy-war we create for our enemies
For example, do you about know the multiplication jutsu? The trick made the ninja appear to be more than one... well, we use mirrors. There's a reason why ninja always do their missions at night. You won't be able to see the mirrors, and, for the light replacement to reflect the ninja image, we use the enemy's torch light. From our forefathers experiences, no guards would gone for a search in the middle of night without a proper lighting equipment. Well... the lights from the torch are dim, but it's enough to make images appear due to the light reflections. From there, the enemies usually frozen with shock and fear.
How does one's images kill a human? Their sidekick of course! Throwing and shooting all kinds of weapon and projectile you could ever imagine to the poor SOBs from a hidden place and when the confusion starts to overwhelm the enemy, The primary ninja goes to continue his mission. We'd be gone before the enemy know it.
Cool outfits? Naahh.. you only see those in movies or cartoon. Real ninja only wears one piece of cloth, a leather shoes, a head veil and a Gstring. Don't expect ninjas to wear pads or a chestpad. It'll only limits our movement in tight places like air ventilations, underground tunnels, and small chimneys.
Deadly weapons? If you call knives, staves, caltrops, shurikens, and kunais as deadly weapons... what say you for pistols, grenades, bazookas, tanks, and nuclear missiles? Our weapons are just simple kitchen utensils. Caltrops are made out of clays and patched with glass shrapnels. Kunais are nothing but heads we use to make spear – a bamboo stick plus a Kunai = spear. Shurikens? Hahaha you won't kill anyone with just throwing shurikens, no matter how many of them.
I hope these insights will open your eyes a bit wider regarding the highly esteemed ninja. I myself, regret for being a ninja. And boy how I regret being a ninja than being a police officer.
Police have pistol for starters. Whether it's a 5-bulleted revolver or 6-bulleted revolver, is not a problem. One bullet is enough to kill someone if you aim for the vitals. Shurikens or our standard throwing projectiles is hardly a life threat to the enemy. Imagine if a ninja have to deal face to face with an enemy that uses a pistol. We throw a shurikens, the enemy shot a bullet. The enemy bleeds, the ninja is a dead meat.
Also, Police have vehicles, whether it's a car or motor, is also not a problem. As long as you don't have to walk from your house to the crime scene, then it's okay. Do you think that jumping from roof to roof is an easy thing? It takes hell of energy out of us. And the sewers? You can't even start to imagine how awful the SMELL is!
Second, is the public appearance. I cannot show myself in the public, not like cops. A ninja have to be very stealthy in doing their job. A cops, whenever they finish a case, they can show up in the TV and announce it to everyone, get a rewards, public respect, etc etc. Me? back to my old cramped hut in the old and dirty corner of an alley without no one knowing all my great deeds except my client and my lovely hamster. Now how am I gonna impress the ladies if they don't know I'm exist!
Third, A cop with big stomach is still okay while Ninja with a big stomach is a dead ninja. That's why I usually envy cops who can eat donuts on duty, or cops who doesn't have to worry about their weight... Me? I need to be as slim as possible for many reasons. One of them, since I'm from the Bushin-ryuu, is to make me able to do the triple flip jump. FYI, I only eat two balls of onigiri before a mission. (Onigiri is a riceball with something on the inside, i usually use fish). Sometimes I got too hungry, I start to eat any food that I found on the enemy's mansion.
I also regret not to chose to be a ground trooper as my career instead.
I need to be very agile, thus I cannot carry too much of equipments. I cannot bring too many weapons in my sleeves, heck my suit doesn't even have that long of a sleeve. Whenever I need a weapon, I have to utilize it from a fallen enemy. don't you think that it is troublesome. And most of the times, the weapons I got from the enemy is either too noisy ( a pistol or some sort ) or it's too big too handle ( even a baton is too big for me to carry ).
Well, once I had a small tanto (some sort of kitchen knife) stick on my waist, but it scratched my arse everytime I do my Bushin Izuna Otoshi. (for those who don't understand bushin techniques, Bushin Izuna Otoshi is when I do a triple flip, grab my opponent when I'm still on mid-air, and slam him/her to the ground, jump backward, turn my back on the fallen enemy, raise my right hand and slide it down and say "Waruku Omounai!" – means "don't think badly of me!") – quite fancy I must say so myself.
Next, I once had a nunchaku(doublestick) strapped on my feet but that damn nunchaku clapped everytime I do my Bushin Hayagake, making the enemy alerted all the time. Oh how I hate those clang-clang sound everytime the doublestick hit each other. Even though the doublestick is strapped, the horrible super speed pace of my running usually tear the strapper, thus loosened the strap and that's when the clang-clang voice got wild.
(Bushin Hayagake is a super-duper-horrible speeding silent run method invented by master Zeku's master). Other than to get in as quickly as silently as possible... It works for the get-out process as well.
I even wore knuckles on my fist but you know what happen? I can't spread my finger and thus failed to do even a simple technique Bushin shiho nage. (Bushin shiho nage is just a technique to flip my opponent in any direction I want by grabbing his/her hand). Punching? Naahh my Bushin-Ryuu doesn't really support power punching techniques... It's a mistake to use a Knuckles in the first place anyway.
just compare my condition with a soldier or ground troopers.
They can carry all those handy-dandy equipment, they can drive a tank, they also have a walkie talkie for when they are bored. Never bother a small knive when they can carry a large saber on their waist. No need to worry about the sound of firing carbine because their carbine can reach yards of distance. Never have to wear knuckles to punch their enemies because they can just shoot them dead with a glock. Heck, soldiers can even be promoted and do a desk job! A ninja will always be on the field job, unless, One you're dead, Two you're not alive.
Oh yeah, do you know that once a ninja's identity is revealed, it's only a matter of time before that ninja goes bankrupt since no one will hire him anymore. A ninja with identity is usually a dead ninja. You can say that to Hanzo Hattori. Nobody knew him when he was still alive.
This and the fact that a ninja paycheck is almost always never enough to make daily ends meet. Often times I need to gather wild roots just to make some soups (add some sea water for the flavour).
I once had to accept a customer with only three Ryos as a payment for finding his lost tiger. Just imagine how cheapskate he is! Afford a Tiger but only paid three ryos! The tiger was, of course, easily found with my outstanding tracking skill, but the hard part is to take it back home alive. I accepted the job nevertheless because my cute hamster got sick and I need the money for the medicine. My previous hamster died when I tried to cure him with wild roots and blackberry for the sweetener. so much with those traditional stuff Master Zeku have thought me.
Being a ninja is tough and praiseless
Master Zeku told me that when a threat rises to the world, so will the shadow of Bushin. Now why should it be the shadow, not the BUshin himself. Why do I have to appear in the dark. Why can't I show myself and get a raise! Errr... I mean praise for my efforts. Am I not worth it? I thought I'm the only rightful heir to the secret of Bushin technique. No matter though, cause I'm tired of being a praiseless ninja anyway.
The one and only Bushin-style heir like me definitely have a better place in this world. I just need a place to prove myself. I need a place that it's okay to do some action even in front of public. I want to be famous, and alive!
That chance finally arrived.
I saw an advertisement of an audition for the Final Fight series. They need a sidekick for the main actor. The qualifications are simple enough. You need to be a ninja in order to do the audition. sure they were a lot of applicants beside me but it was me they wanted. I'm sure it has something to do with the interview, especially when they questioned me about the payment. I said, as long as i'm on TV, i'll do it. (by the way, my hamster is having a baby and I need money to buy a new cage. I hope the payment is enough to cover the expenses)
I didn't tell Master Zeku I was doing the audition.
This Final Fight was actually my golden ticket. The series was a blast. Many people liked it. The new concept of leveling up on the sidescrolling genre was the key. My popularity surpassed even the main actor, Cody. Maybe because of my awesome jumping technique. I even got colours on that series. I usually just black and white, now I have Red colour on my body.
It didn't stop there. The series went to trilogy, and I finally have enough salary to fix my old hamster's cage. I don't have to worry about food anymore because there's so many hotdogs for free in the studio where I work. I even get to eat a full set of fried chicken sometimes when I do some fabulous act in the Final Fight.
Not only that, the bosses at Capcom decided that I could be entered in the upcoming street fighter game. It's called Street Fighter Alpha for the sales on USA and Street Fighter Zero for the sales on Japan. I thought to myself that things are finally turning around for me.
I was wrong.
End Of Chapter One –