A/N: Sooo....imagine Difficult Decisions was a movie, and the fun part about movies is bloopers right?! (especially with Thrax :D) Now let's see what kind of problems the cast and crew encounter during the making of the movie. (Ooooh yes, this shall be fun :D )

Act 1

The Tickets: Take 1

Mayor Phlegmming: Leah, I want to see those paperworks sorted out for Monday.

Leah: But sir, isn’t that meant to be your responsibility?

Mayor Phlegmming: Well, er, yes - but as you know I’m far too busy this week so could you please be a darling and get them sorted out for me? *runs off out the door*

Leah: Ah-hah...again he gets away with it.

Rachel comes rushing in.

Rachel: Oh. My. GOD! You'll never guess what Gerry got us!

Leah: *starts laughing*

Rachel: What? What's so funny?

Leah: *still laughing* You look like a maniac!

Director: Cut! Leah, focus!

Leah: I can't help it, that grin was priceless!

Director: *sighs* Just keep your head in the game, Leah...

The Tickets: Take 2

Rachel: Oh. My. GOD! You'll never guess what Gerry got us!

Leah: Oh? What?

Rachel: He got us tickets for that club ‘The Zit’! I would have never dreamed of going there but now that Gerry actually got tickets for it, there’s no way I’m passing down the chance!

Leah: Um...when you said Gerry got tickets for ‘us’, what exactly did you mean?

Rachel: For me, Beatrice, Harry, himself and you of course!

Leah: What!

Rachel: What d'you mean 'what what'?

Leah: Rachel! You weren't supposed to say 'what' twice!

Rachel: Oh... oh yeah.

Director: Cut! Rachel, what were you doing?

Rachel: Um...improvising?

Director: Well stop improvising and start reading your script properly! *sighs* Actors... they think they know it all...

Ozzy and Leah: Take 1

Ozzy: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Leah!! Girl, where have you been!?

Leah: At work as usual, Jones. So how have you guys been?

Ozzy: Well, the usual I guess.

Drix: Hey, that's my line, line-stealer!

Ozzy: Well sooo-rry, Drips.

Drix: That's 'Drix'!

Director: Boys, boys stop fighting and focus! And stop stealing other people's lines Ozzy.

Ozzy: *sulks*

Ozzy and Leah: Take 2

Director: Ok, we'll start from your line, Drix. Action!

Drix: Well, the usual I guess-

Ozzy: We’ve been very busy, y’know, kickin’ butt and all that!! I heard from Rachel that you guys are going to ‘The Zit’.

Leah: Yes, though now I’m not sure if I wanna go...

Ozzy: Go, Leah! I’d go if I wanted to, but we’re kinda busy today, go enjoy yourself, girl! You can fill us in on the details after.

Leah: Ok, ok, I’ll go. You guys mind yourselves. *kisses Ozzy*

Ozzy: Don’t worry, baby, we will! *Ozzy rushes off and crashes into the Chief, spilling the Chief's coffee all over him*

Chief: *yells in pain* HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THIS COFFEE IS FUCKIN HOT AS HELL!!!

Director: *facepalm* I told you to get cold coffee, not hot coffee.

Chief: What's the point of having cold coffee if I can't drink it?

Director: It's only acting, Chief, you aren't actually meant to drink it.

Chief: What? But that's a waste of good coffee!

Director: Will you just follow your script and forget about the coffee!!

Chief: ...but, it's COFFEE!

Rex: *from the sidelines* I like coffee - I think the Chief is actually making a lot of sense here about not wasting coffee.

Chief: I'm glad to hear someone's on my side. *gives Rex a high-five*

Director: *sighs*

Ozzy and Leah: Take 3

Director: Start from your line Ozzy. And action!

Ozzy: We’ve been very busy, y’know, kickin’ butt and all that!! I heard from Rachel that you guys are going to ‘The Zit’.

Leah: Yes, though now I’m not sure if I wanna go...

Ozzy: Go, Leah! I’d go if I wanted to, but we’re kinda busy today, go enjoy yourself, girl! You can fill us in on the details after.

Leah: Ok, ok, I’ll go. You guys mind yourselves. *kisses Ozzy*

Ozzy: Don’t worry, baby, we will! *Rushes off and crashes into the Chief - this time the Chief spills his coffee all over Ozzy instead of himself*

Ozzy: *also yells in pain* HOLY FUCKING FRANK!! THAT COFFEE IS FREAKIN' HOT AS HELL!!

Director: Chief!!! Why the hell did you do that??

Chief: Well, I didn't like it that Jones had to spill this hot coffee on me so I decided to change it around a bit.

Director: That's not meant to happen you moron! Follow the script or I'm prepared to fire you.

Chief: I'm prepared to quit.

Director: I'm prepared to replace you.

Chief: *remains silent*

Going to the Zit: Take 1

Leah: Hey Gerry.

Gerry: Hi, Leah! Sorry, I’m not late am I?

Leah: No where near late, you’re just on time. *climbs into the van beside Gerry*

Gerry: I’m glad to hear it, all right fellas, let’s roll! *turns the key but the engine doesn't start. He tries again*

Gerry: Um...the van isn't working...

Director: Cut! All right, who was messing with the van?

Roxy: *raises hand* I was trying to see how well I could drive it.

Director: *sighs* Next time stay away from the props!

Going to the Zit: Take 2

Director: Let's start from when you guys enter the club. Action!

Rachel: Let’s just take a seat for a while over there, m’kay?

Harry: I’ll order us all some drinks, my treat!

*Random guy comes and starts hitting on Beatrice, she shakes her head and the guy goes off.*

Leah: What was he saying?

Beatrice: Oh, he was just some silly pervert, you know how they are. I made it clear that I wasn't interested.

Leah: Right.

*Harry passes down the drinks, he pushes them too far that they end up all falling off the end of the counter.*

Harry: Whoops! Sorry, sorry, can we do that again?

Director: I need some whisky to calm my nerves....

Going to the Zit: Take 3

Rachel: Let’s just take a seat for a while over there, m’kay?

Harry: I’ll order us all some drinks, my treat!

*Random guy comes and starts hitting on Beatrice, she shakes her head and the guy goes off.*

Leah: What was he saying?

Beatrice: Oh, he was just some silly pervert, you know how they are. I made it clear that I wasn't interested.

Leah: Right.

*Harry passes down the drinks, successfully not spilling them*

Beatrice: What? No vodka?

Harry: *laughs* Take it easy there, Beatrice!

Gerry: I’m gonna go look for a less crowded room, ok? *runs off*

*Rachel sees a she-virus passing by*

Rachel: Germ women are such sluts...

Leah: Yeah..

*Suddenly music is heard and the song 'Disturbia' by Rihanna starts playing*

Rachel: Ooooh I love this song! *starts bobbing her head to the music*

Director: Oh gimme a break...

Rachel & Leah: Bum-bum be-dum bum-bum be-dum bum!

Meeting Thrax: Take 1

Thrax: Hai babeh. What’s a pretty little cell like you doing sitting alone?

Leah: Uh, I-I’m just having a drink before meeting up with my friends.

Thrax: How about just having one more, you’re not in a rush are you?

Leah: Well - ok, just one quintessentially quick drink.

Thrax: Thrax.

Leah: What?

Thrax: My name's Thrax.

Leah: Oh, that's a sexy name.

Director: Cut! Leah you weren't meant to say his name was sexy!

Leah: Did I say that? *blushes*

Director: Yeah, you did.. *facepalm*

Roxy: *passes him a whole bottle of Whisky* Here's the whisky you wanted.

Director: *takes it from her and starts drinking it*

Meeting Thrax: Take 2

Thrax: Hai babeh. What’s a pretty little cell like you doing sitting alone?

Leah: Uh, I-I’m just having a drink before meeting up with my friends.

Thrax: How about just having one more, you’re not in a rush are you?

Leah: Well - ok, just one quintessentially quick drink.

Thrax: Thrax.

Leah: What?

Thrax: My name's Thrax.

Leah: Oh, oh um, it's a nice name.

Thrax: You got one?

Leah: It's Leah. Leah Estrogen. So, what do you do for a living?

Thrax: *doesn't reply*

Leah: *waits* What are you doing?

Thrax: *Still doesn't reply*

Leah: What are you staring at?

Thrax: *grins slyly* Nice bra, baby.

Leah: Pervert.

Director: Thrax stop looking down Leah's top and focus on your lines!

Thrax: You're just jealous cuz I get to see a nice pair of boobs.

Ozzy: Hey back off! Those are for my eyes only!

Director: *drinks more whisky*

Meeting Thrax: Take 3

Director: We'll start from when Rachel comes in, ruining the moment for you and Leah.

Thrax: Stupid bitch.

Director: Action!

Rachel: Leah, I thought you said you were coming! *looks at Thrax* Am I interrupting anything?

Thrax: Yes, now fuck off.

Director: Thrax! Stop that!

Thrax: Why should I? The bitch was ruining our moment.

Director: Would you just follow the freakin' script!

Thrax: Fine - but I need that whisky *takes the Director's whisky and walks off the set*

Director: *bottom lip trembles* But - that's mine!

Act 2

Kissing Scene: Take 1

Leah: Oh god, I think I’ve had a bit too much. I’m starting to feel a little bit dizzy.

Thrax: I think we’ll lay off the vodka for a while, babeh.

Leah: You’re such a charmer, aren’t you?

Thrax: Only to chicks like you.

Leah: *leans over and kisses him but then breaks away* Oh - um - sorry! I’m sorry!

Thrax: Take it easy, baby, let’s try that again... *kisses her properly*

Leah: *waits for Thrax to stop kissing her*

Director: *is also waiting* ....Thrax? You can stop now.

Ozzy: *starts to get annoyed* Yo Thrax! You can stop kissing her now! HEY THRAX!! The kiss isn't meant to be that long! You're breaking the time limit for God's sake!

Director: Oh for God's sake leave him be. I need more whisky....

Kissing Scene: Take 2

Leah: Oh god, I think I’ve had a bit too much. I’m starting to feel a little bit dizzy.

Thrax: I think we’ll lay off the vodka for a while, babeh.

Leah: You’re such a charmer, aren’t you?

Thrax: Only to chicks like you.

Leah: *leans over and kisses him but then breaks away* Oh - um - sorry! I’m sorry!

Thrax: Take it easy, baby, let’s try that again... *is about to kiss her when Ozzy suddenly throws a random script at Thrax* JONES!! What the fuck d'you think you're doing?!!

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* Saving Leah's lips!

Director: Jones! Would you just butt out and let me get on with filming!

Ozzy: How can I butt out when my relationship is in danger before my very eyes!

Director: It's called acting you moron!

Leah: Um, if it's any consolation - Thrax is a great kisser!

Thrax: *smirks* Thanks baby.

Ozzy: WHAT! Grrrrr...

Roxy: *random thought* When do we get cheesecake?

Rex: Cheesecake? I want some!

Drix: I do love cheesecake!

Chief: Me too! Especially with a lovely cup of coffee!

Director: Oh brother... *starts drinking more whisky yet again*

Kissing Scene: Take 3

Leah: Oh god, I think I’ve had a bit too much. I’m starting to feel a little bit dizzy.

Thrax: I think we’ll lay off the vodka for a while, babeh.

Leah: You’re such a charmer, aren’t you?

Thrax: Only to chicks like you.

Leah: *leans over and kisses him but then breaks away* Oh - um - sorry! I’m sorry!

Thrax: Take it easy, baby, let’s try that again... *kisses her properly*

Leah: *pushes away from Thrax* S-sorry, I- it’s just, I need to go see my friends.

Thrax: I’ll just wait here then.

Leah: Um, ok, sure

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* She's only getting away from you because you're such a terrible kisser!

Director: Jones would you just stop that!

Thrax: You're just jealous cuz I kissed your girl.

Ozzy: Stop rubbing it in!

Director: Boys-

Thrax: And I get to do more than kissing further on in the script.

Ozzy: *pissed off* Stop teasing me!

Thrax: I'm glad to hear it's working-

Director: Boys! Would you both shut up!

Leah: *sighs* If anyone needs me I'll be in my dressing room. *walks off set*

Director: *buries his face in his hands* I should have never taken up this job...

Roxy: *passes him vodka*

Chief: COFFEE!!!

Egyptian War card game: Take 1

*Harry wins the card game and gets all enthusiastic*

Harry: WOOHOO!! I bet you all you Frickin Bananas!!

Director: Cut! It's Frickin' Chicken, Harry, not Frickin' Bananas!

Harry: Oh right - but frickin' bananas sounds so much better don't you think?

Beatrice: I think it does.

Gerry: Ditto

Rachel: That one gets my vote.

Director: Who's the Director around here?? Me! And I say shut up and follow the damn script!

Harry: Fine, fine. You sure know how to ruin the fun.

Director: Just follow the script and stop whining. *drinks the vodka*

Making love scene: Take 1

Leah: You’ve got quite a nice place here, Thrax.

Thrax: Yeah, it is quite the place, aint it, babeh?

*starts kissing her and Leah pushes off his trench coat*

Leah: Shouldn’t we be doing this in the bedroom?

Thrax: *grins and picks Leah up and puts her down over his shoulder, he walks in the opposite direction off the set*

Leah: Thrax? Thrax, you're going the wrong way! THRAX!!

Director: *facepalm* Oh dear God...

Kayley: Call me back when the adult content is over... *walks into her dressing room*

Ozzy: *stares wide-eyed* He just freakin' took my girl away! Can you believe it!!

Drix: Yes. Yes I can. *laughs*

Ozzy: Oh shut up, Drips.

Drix: That's 'Drix' for the last time. *continues laughing at Ozzy*

Ozzy: I'll be in my dressing room...

Director: *drinks the whole bottle of vodka*

Making love scene: Take 2

Leah: You’ve got quite a nice place here, Thrax.

Thrax: Yeah, it is quite the place, aint it, babeh?

*starts kissing her and Leah pushes off his trench coat*

Leah: Shouldn’t we be doing this in the bedroom?

Thrax: I prefer to do it on the couch.

Leah: Thrax I'm being serious.

Thrax: So am I.

Leah: Would you just follow your script!

Thrax: Why should I when I think the couch is so much better.

Leah: *sighs* Ugh! I'll be in my dressing room again! *walks off*

Thrax: *frowns* What's her problem?

Ozzy: She's just afraid that you'll be terrible at sex.

Thrax: *throws one of the lighting fixtures at Ozzy*

Director: Actors... they're such pains in the ass...

Roxy: Here's the cheesecake!

Chief: Great! I'll go get the coffee! *runs off*

Director: *bangs his head against the camera*

Making love scene: Take 3

Director: Let's just start with when you guys actually are in the bedroom... that'll save me the trouble of having to yell cut again since you idiots don't agree on anything! Action!

Thrax: *starts kissing Leah and begins to remove her top*

Leah: *squeals and backs away from him*

Director: What's wrong now?!

Leah: His claws are so freakin sharp!

Thrax: Thanks a lot for ruining the moment...

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* Atta girl Leah!

Director: Leah, can you please forget about how sharp Thrax's claws are?

Leah: Uh-uh, he better unsharpen those claws of his.

Director: Leah, if you don't follow the script like a good little girl I'm prepared to fire you.

Leah: On second thought sharp claws work really well for a sex scene.

Thrax: *smirks* Oh really? I wonder if it would work well off set. *puts Leah down over his shoulder again and walks off the set*

Leah: AAAAAGHHH!! NOT AGAIN!!!

Director: Grrrr.....

Kayley: *still has her hands covering her eyes* Is the sex scene over yet?

Director: It hasn't even started.... *bangs his head harder against the camera*

Rex: Wow - the Director's stressed out.

Chief: Serves him right for treating coffee so badly! *hugs his cup of coffee* Poor coffee....

At Ozzy's house: Take 1

*Leah knocks on the front door*

Ozzy: *answers the door* Hey, girl! You took your time didn’t you?

Leah: Sorry, I was kind of late getting up this morning.

Ozzy: Oooh, had a rough night huh?

Leah: Heh, you can sure say that...

Thrax: She definitely did *grins*

Ozzy: Would you butt out and stop spoiling my moment with Leah!

Thrax: Why should I?

Ozzy: Cuz this is very important to me! I'm saving my relationship!

Thrax: What relationship? You guys aren't even together.

Ozzy: Yes we are.

Thrax: *smirks* Then why was she kissing another man?

Ozzy: It's only acting you asshole!!

Director: Oh would you both please shut up!!

Ozzy: But he ruined the scene!

Director: *facepalm* Roxy, pass me a pillow.

Roxy: *gives him the pillow*

Director: *buries his head into the pillow and screams into it*

At Ozzy's house: Take 2

*Leah knocks on the front door*

Ozzy: *answers the door* Hey, girl! You took your time didn’t you?

Leah: Sorry, I was kind of late getting up this morning.

Ozzy: Oooh, had a rough night huh?

Leah: Heh, you can sure say that...

Ozzy: Couldn’t resist the vodka this time, eh Leah? *grabs a cup* Coffee?

Leah: Just one, thanks. So what did you guys do Friday night?

Ozzy: Oh, we had one big crazy party with the rest of us cops-

Drix: We just patrolled the bowels and Ozzy maniaclly started chasing what he thought was a germ, when in fact it was actually some old lady!

Leah: Oh, right. That was one big party you had Ozzy.

Ozzy: Fine, fine. I thought it was a germ, she just looked so...germy-like.

Drix: Germy-like? Ozzy, how dare you say that about that poor woman-

Ozzy: Forget about her- *accidently spills the coffee on his hand* OW!! GOD DAMMIT NOT AGAIN!!

Director: Cut! For God's sake Ozzy, watch where you're moving your hand!

Ozzy: Sorry.

Drix: I feel like having some cheesecake.

Roxy: There's some here if you want it.

Drix: Oh boy! *runs off set towards the cheesecake*

Chief: MORE COFFEE!

Director: *sighs* They're like a bunch of clowns...

At Ozzy's house: Take 3

Director: OK, Ozzy - let's start from your line.

Ozzy: Forget about her, Drips, she aint important!

Drix: It’s ‘Drix’, for the last time.

Leah: Same old Jones I know

Ozzy: You can never stop me from being me, babeh *drinks his coffee but suddenly chokes and spits it out* What the? All right who replaced the jalapeno with a banana?

*cast and crew all start laughing*

Chief: Sorry, I was trying to make banana-flavoured coffee.

*cast and crew laugh even harder*

Director: I don't know why you think that's so funny. *sits down on his chair and the legs break causing the chair to collapse*

*cast and crew laugh even more*

Director: *from the ground* Hardy-har har. Can someone help me up please?

*cast and crew all leave for their five-minute break*

Director: *silence* ...Anyone gonna help me? Anyone at all?

The text message: Take 1

Leah: *starts reading her text messages*

Rachel: Leah, I’m SUPER furious with you for hanging around with that strange man! Where did you go after we left??? TXT ME BACK!!!!

Beatrice: What happened after we left??? Txt me back as soon as you can, m’kay?

Rachel: Quit ignoring my messages, Leah!! TXT ME BACK WOMAN!!!

Chief: COFFEE!!

Leah: What? Chief!! Stop texting me in the middle of filming!! You weren't suppose to do that!!

Chief: COFFEE OBSESSION!!!

Leah: I need to go back to my dressing room again....

Director: I need anti-depressants...

The text message: Take 2

Leah: *starts reading her text messages*

Rachel: Leah, I’m SUPER furious with you for hanging around with that strange man! Where did you go after we left??? TXT ME BACK!!!!

Beatrice: What happened after we left??? Txt me back as soon as you can, m’kay?

Rachel: Quit ignoring my messages, Leah!! TXT ME BACK WOMAN!!!

Rachel: It was bad wasn’t it??? Is that why you’re not txting me back???

Rachel: WHERE R U???? Oh my god you’re dead!! You’re dead!!

Leah: *checks the new message*

Thrax: Hai sexeh!! :D

Leah: *blushes deep red* Excuse me - I'm going to my dressing room once again... *walks off set*

Ozzy: *picks up the cellphone and reads the message* What - Thrax you bastard!!

Thrax: *chuckles*

Ozzy: Grrrrrr...

Director: *takes his anti-depressants with vodka*

Act 3

Leah and Rachel: Take 1

Rachel: It’s about time you got here!

Leah: I was busy with sorting out Mayor Phlegmming’s paperworks, ok

Rachel: So what happened last night? Who was that guy you were talking - hey who's that behind you?

Leah: Who? *turns around* You mean Ozzy?

Rachel: No, the spiky-blonde haired hunk coming in the through the door.

Leah: *spots the blonde-haired man* Ohmigosh - It's Cloud Strife!!

Rachel: *gets hyperactive* Ohmigosh! CLOUD!!

Director: Wait hold up - how did Cloud Strife get here???

Ozzy: That's pretty unusual..

Thrax: Ya think?

Rachel & Leah: *fangirl squeal* CLOUD!!

Cloud: ....how did I get here?? ...Zack? Are you in here?

Leah and Rachel: Take 2

Rachel: It’s about time you got here!

Leah: I was busy with sorting out Mayor Phlegmming’s paperworks, ok

Rachel: So what happened last night? Who was that guy you were talking to?

Leah: He’s just some guy that randomly came up talking to me.

Rachel: And? You just happened to go off with - hey who's that little girl behind you?

Leah: *turns around* You mean the one with the blue hair?

Rachel: Yeah

Leah: I think that's Rika Furude

Rika: Nipah!!

Rachel & Leah: Awwwwww!!

Director: ...And how did she get in here??

Ozzy: Even more unusual.

Thrax: What the hell did she just say?

Rachel & Leah: *starts fussing over Rika* So adorable!!!

Director: ......I must be out of my mind... I'm now seeing humans....

Leah and Rachel: Take 3

Rachel: And? You just happened to go off with him afterwards?! What were you thinking Leah?

Leah: I dunno! I just - I dunno - wanted to..

Rachel: He doesn’t look like a great guy to me - what was he? Some large red blood cell? Or was he a virus?

Leah: A virus. Don’t ask me what kind, he never said

Rachel: You say it so matter of factly, as if it were a good thing

Leah: Thrax is not gonna do anything to Frank, ok! He said he’d just settle down here!

Rachel: Viruses don’t ‘settle’ down anywhere! That’s a bloody lie!

Leah: I’m not gonna waste my time talking to someone who doesn’t know anything about him

Rachel: You love him don’t you, Leah? What about Ozzy?! I thought Ozzy was your boyfriend!

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* Yeah, I thought I was your boyfriend!

Director: OZZY!!

Ozzy: Sorry...

Patrolling the Bowels: Take 1

Ozzy: Geez, why do we even have to patrol the Bowels again tonight? We’d probably just see that old germy-looking hag again

Drix: Chief’s orders, Osmosis, and for the second time it was an elderly woman not a ‘germy-looking hag’ as you so horribly put it

Ozzy: Yeah, whatever *leans against the wall, it suddenly gives way and Ozzy is sent crashing backwards* AAAAAAAGGH!!

Drix: *looks down at him* Ozzy? Are you ok?

Ozzy: *from below* Do I look ok to you? *groans*

Drix: Oh dear... I think we need medical assistance.

Director: *places a bag of ice against his forehead* Oh my poor nerves...

Ozzy: Oh my poor ass...

Act 4

The DNA chain: Take 1

*Leah is about to knock on the door when Thrax answers it*

Leah: Ah - oh - er, Thrax - um, h-how did you know it was me?

Thrax: I saw you outside from the window and you were just standing there - so I figured I’d open the door

Leah: Oh -

Thrax: Are you just gonna stand there?

Leah: Wha- oh, I-I’m sorry - I’m just a little out of it today-

Thrax: *doesn't answer*

Leah: *waits and clears her throat* Ahem - Thrax? Your line? *sighs* OK, what are you doing?

Thrax: What kind of underwear do you have?

Leah: *blushes deep red* Do I have to answer!!?

Director: Just answer his stupid question so we can get on with this!

Leah: Fine! It's just ordinary black underwear! Happy?

Thrax: *smirks* Oh yes, baby.

Roxy: Need more bag of ice sir?

Director: Oh definitely

Roxy: *passes him another big bag of ice*

The DNA chain: Take 2

Thrax: Are you just gonna stand there?

Leah: Wha- oh, I-I’m sorry - I’m just a little out of it today-

Thrax: I make you feel uncomfortable don’t I?

Leah: What-? Well yes - but in a good way

Thrax: C’mon, there’s something I wanna show you

Ozzy: Don't go in Leah! He's gonna rape you!!

Director: JONES! Stop that! He only rapes her in Act 16!! They only make love once more in this scene!

Thrax: Oh joy

Leah: Oh god...

Ozzy: Oh damn

Leah: Don't feel so bad Ozzy - me and you have our hot little scene together in Act 4

Ozzy: *cheers up* Oh yeah, we do!! In your face Thrax -

Thrax: I rape her in Act 16

Ozzy: *holds onto Leah*

Director: Thrax stop teasing him and focus!!

The DNA chain: Take 3

Director: Start from your line Thrax.

Thrax: C’mon, there’s something I wanna show you

*goes inside, takes the DNA chain out of the cabinet*

Thrax: Like it?

Leah: What is it?

Thrax: It’s a chain filled with the DNA beads from my victims, very precious they are to them, they’re kept up in the hypothalamus. Snatch one of these babies and my victims heat up like a sidewalk on a summer day

Leah: What - what type of virus are you? Ebubla?

Thrax: *starts laughing*

Leah: *half-laughing* What?

Thrax: *wipes his eye* It's 'Ebola' not Ebubla!

Leah: Oh - oh crap *starts laughing*

*Cast and crew all start laughing*

The DNA chain: Take 4

Leah: What - what type of virus are you? Ebola?

Thrax: Ebola’s a case of dandruff compared to me. No, baby, you’re looking at one of the most deadliest viruses anyone’s ever see this - this here little DNA bead comes from a little girl in Riverside, California, didn’t like to wash her hands. Took me three whole weeks. And this one, nice lady in Detroit, Mowtown - six days flat. And there’s this old guy in Philly - I killed him in seventy two hours

Leah: S-seventy two .... hours!?

Thrax: Yeah, I’m gettin’ better as I go along, baby, but the problem is I never set a record. Don’t worry, baby, I ain’t gonna take down Frank, I told you before remember..

Leah: Y-yes

*Thrax puts the chain around Leah's neck and ties it a bit too tight*

Leah: *choking*

Thrax: Hey, are you ok?

Ozzy: For God's sake she's choking you moron!!

Leah: *face turning blue* CAN'T - BREATHE!!

Director: *slaps hand against his forehead*

Talk with Ozzy: Take 1

*Ozzy's cellphone starts ringing, he answers it*

Ozzy: *yawning* Hah-hello

Drix: Ozzy? Are you awake yet?

Ozzy: Man, Drips, I was just in the middle of this wonderful dream about me and Leah, y’know, we was gettin’ it on-

Drix: Ozzy, I don’t want to hear about you and your perverted thoughts, I thought you were meant to go round to Leah and talk this whole thing over with her

Ozzy: Wha- Oh shit, Leah! I’ve gotta go, Drips!

Drix: That's 'Drix' *hangs up*

*Ozzy calls Leah but then finds out he dialled the wrong number*

Ozzy: Hi - oh *blushes* Hi mom.... yes mom I did pick up my underwear from the dry-cleaners!

*Cast and crew burst out in fits of laughter*

Talk with Ozzy: Take 2

Director: Let's just start from when Leah finds you waiting at her house. Action!

Leah: I’m sorry about not being home at the time Ozzy

Ozzy: It’s all right Leah, no harm done. Ugh, I wouldn’t recommend sitting down on concrete steps for a long time Leah, it really is a pain in the ass - literally

Leah: So, Ozzy, what did you come here for?

Ozzy: I came here to tell you - PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!

Leah: Oh for God's sake Ozzy! Get a grip!! *storms off towards her dressing room*

Ozzy: ....So does that mean you're leaving me or not?

Talk with Ozzy: Take 3

Leah: So, Ozzy, what did you come here for?

Ozzy: Well - this may sound crazy, but it was Drips - sorry, Drix - that came up with it in the first place

Leah: And? What is it?

Ozzy: Well - ok, ok, here it is - a-are you seeing someone else?

Leah: Of course not! Why would you think of something like that, Ozzy?

Ozzy: I know! I know, I was crazy to even think of it, but I wasn’t convinced either way! Drix was the one that wanted me to ask you. *takes hold of Leah's hand* But, I’m glad that Drix’s suspicions were wrong... cuz I really do love you, baby

Leah: Oh, Ozzy

*Ozzy leans in and kisses Leah*

Ozzy: *breaks away from Leah* So... am I a better kisser than Thrax?

Thrax: You wish, Jones, you wish.

Ozzy: I so am better at kissing than you!

Thrax: Dream on.

Ozzy: Grrrrr...

Leah: *rolls her eyes* Pathetic men...

Director: Pathetic actors...

Act 5

At Beatrice's house: Take 1

Beatrice: Leah! I’m so glad you came! So, is this Thrax? The guy you were telling me about?

Leah: Yup, this is him

Beatrice: Nice to meet you Thrax

Thrax: Hi sexy

Beatrice: *slaps him across the face* Pervert! *walks off set towards her dressing room*

Thrax: *rubs his sore cheek* It was a freakin' joke!

Ozzy: Women just don't like you, Thrax.

Thrax: *throws Ozzy into one of the cameras*

Director: Hey!! Those cameras cost money! *sighs* Warner Brothers doesn't pay me enough to do this job....

At Beatrice's house: Take 2

Beatrice: So, is this Thrax? The guy you were telling me about?

Leah: Yup, this is him

Beatrice: Nice to meet you Thrax

Thrax: Hi

Beatrice: The guys are in the other room just sitting around and talking, I’m still waiting for Maria, she said she was gonna be a little late. Hey guys, Leah’s here! This is Leah’s - friend, Thrax

Harry: Hey

Gerry: Holy crap he's big - I-I mean - oh damn.

*Cast and crew all start laughing except for Thrax*

Thrax: All the better to appear intimidating, moron.

Gerry: Shut up....

At Beatrice's house: Take 3

Director: Start from when Maria comes in.

Maria: Hey guys, sorry I’m late!

Beatrice: Where’d your boyfriend go?

Maria: Oh, he’s kind of shy, I’ll go get him *goes off to look for him*

Beatrice: You remember my cousin, Maria Amino, don’t you?

Leah: Yeah, Ozzy t- *Maria suddenly comes back*

Maria: Uh, Director - Drix is stuck in the vent.

Director: Oh for God's sake - someone go help him.

Drix: *from the vent* Can someone please help me out?

Thrax: What a moron....

Act 6

Drix and Leah: Take 1

Drix: *walks into the room with Maria* Hello everyone. *is shocked to see Leah* L-Leah!

Leah: Drix?

Chief: Coffee!

Director: WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ABOUT COFFEE!

Chief: But - it's coffee! Coffee is special!!

Director: *facepalm* Dear God....

Drix and Leah: Take 2

Maria: You know each other?

Drix: Well - uh-uh - yes we do of course, she’s a friend of mine-

Leah: Can you guys excuse us? I just need a moment alone with Drix - *exits the room with Drix*

Harry: So - um - how about those bowels? Are they stinky or what? *starts laughing* I'm sorry, I'm sorry - I couldn't help myself!

Director: *sighs* More whisky please, Roxy.

Roxy: We're all out of whisky sir, Thrax drank it all.

Director: *bangs head against the camera once again*

Drix and Leah: Take 3

Director: Start oustide with Drix. Action!

Drix: What on earth- Leah what’s going on?

Leah: Look just wait a sec, ok Drix?

Drix: What is the meaning of this, Leah? Who is that man!?

Leah: Drix I wish it were that simple to explain but it’s not - I’ve made a huge mistake and now I can’t fix it-

Drix: What are you talking about? You are seeing someone else!

Ozzy: *cries*

Director: What's the matter with you now, Ozzy?

Ozzy: It's just so sad thinking about Leah doing this behind my back!!

Director: It's just acting, Ozzy.

Ozzy: I know but - I just hope our relationship doesn't turn out like that.

Thrax: *grins* It might

Director: Don't tease him, he'll never shut up!

Thrax: That's good then - he'll annoy you

Director: You hate me don't you?

Thrax: Pretty much, yeah

Director: Well same here buddy! *sulks* If you don't pay me more respect then I'll just have to fire you

Thrax: You say that now - but you really need me

Director: No I don't .... actually I do.

Thrax: I knew it - besides you can't replace me

Director: That's true.... I can replace Chief but not you

Chief: *cries*

The Left Nostril: Take 1

Ozzy: So what's the trouble then?

Drix: Down there!

Ozzy: Aint nothing we can't handle, anyway. It's only a common cold, no big deal, right Drips?

Drix: Agreed

Germs: Quick! Quick let's move!

Ozzy: Wha-? Whoa, whoa, wait hold up! *rushes up to them but slips on a puddle of mucus and falls face first into it* Uuuuughhh man - that's just vile!! Yuck oh god, someone help me out of this!!

*cast and crew starts laughing uncontrollably*

The Left Nostril: Take 2

Ozzy: So what's the trouble then?

Drix: Down there!

Ozzy: Aint nothing we can't handle, anyway. It's only a common cold, no big deal, right Drips?

Drix: Agreed

Germs: Quick! Quick let's move!

Ozzy: Wha-? Whoa, whoa, wait hold up! Stop! You're- what the Frank-?

*Thrax prepares to glide off the building but loses his footing and falls down flat on his face*

Director: Cut! Thrax - get off the floor

Thrax: Dear God there's mucus on my face!!

Ozzy: *starts laughing*

Thrax: *throws a huge pile of snot on Ozzy*

The Left Nostril: Take 3

Director: Start from your scene Thrax.

*Thrax prepares to glide off the building again but loses his footing once more and falls down into the mucus-filled dam this time*

Thrax: *climbs out of the dam* Ah Fuck! I'm covered in all this fucking mucus!!

Director: Thrax will you just foc- *gets mucus thrown all over him*

Thrax: If anyone needs me I'll be in my dressing room - cleaning all this shit off *walks off set*

Act 7

Telling Ozzy the truth: Take 1

Leah: Ozzy, hold up!

Ozzy: Wha-? Leah? What's up?

Drix: I'll go on ahead, ok Ozzy? *walks off*

Leah: Ozzy...listen - there's something I need to tell you

Ozzy: What is it?

Leah: Ozzy look - this is really hard for me to say - I couldn't tell you - I didn't want to hurt you

Ozzy: Oh my God you're pregnant! *starts laughing*

Leah: *starts laughing too*

*cast and crew join in the laughter*

Director: Oh gimme a break

Roxy: A kit-kat?

Director: No....

Chief: Cup of coffee?

Director: That actually sounds nice right now

Chief: OK, coffee it is *rushes off to make coffee*

Telling Ozzy the truth: Take 2

Leah: Ozzy look - this is really hard for me to say - I couldn't tell you - I didn't want to hurt you

Ozzy: Tell me what?

Leah: Ozzy I'm sorry - I haven't been loyal to you at all

Ozzy: Loyal? What're you talking about?

Leah: I - That virus you saw - his name is Thrax

Ozzy: *sarcastic* No waaaaay

Thrax: *throws a whole bunch of cameras at Ozzy*

Director: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!??

Thrax: Teaching that asshole some manners

Director: You didn't have to use the cameras!! *cries*

Thrax: Whatever...

Telling Ozzy the truth: Take 3

Leah: Ozzy look - this is really hard for me to say - I couldn't tell you - I didn't want to hurt you

Ozzy: I knew it! You're a lesbian!

Leah: *starts laughing yet again*

*cast and crew start laughing*

Director: Ozzy stop joking around and get serious!!

Ozzy: *grins* Sorry, sorry

Visiting Roxy: Take 1

Roxy: Leah! You're here! I was starting to wonder if you'd gotten lost or something. Come on in, Rex arrived about an hour ago so we'll now have a bit of company

Rex: *Singing along to 'Never gonna be alone' by Nickelback* You're never gonna be alone! From this moment on. if you ever feel like lettin' go. I won't let you fall. When all hope is-

Director: Rex stop singing!!

Rex: Sorry

*All start laughing*

Visiting Roxy: Take 2

Roxy: Leah! You're here! I was starting to wonder if you'd gotten lost or something. Come on in, Rex arrived about an hour ago so we'll now have a bit of company

Rex: Yo, Leah! Long time no see, god I haven't seen you in a long while, is Cuzzy Ozzy treating you well

Ozzy: I hate that nickname!!

Rex: *grins* Cuzzy Ozzy

Ozzy: Shut up!

Director: Oh brother...

Chief: Here's your coffee, sir..... coooooffeeeeeee....

Going into Leah's house: Take 1

Ozzy: I don't need this shit...

*looks up at Leah's house which appears empty*

Ozzy: Probably staying 'round at that fucker's place- *Thrax throws the Director's chair at Ozzy* OW!! Why the hell did you do that!?

Thrax: That's for calling me a fucker - and cuz I felt like it

Ozzy: Grrrrr

Director: *from the floor* Yeah - next time you wanna throw my chair at someone ask me to get off it first!!

Going into Leah's house: Take 2

Director: Let's start from inside the house. Action!

*Ozzy starts looking around Leah's bedroom. He looks through her stuff and pulls out a picture of Leah at her graduation*

Ozzy: *grins happily* You look good with long hair!

Leah: Hold up - how did that get there!!??

Ozzy: I dunno but I'm keeping it *puts it in his pocket*

Leah: Ozzy!! Give that back!! *chases him out of the building*

Director: *groans* Ok, take five everyone

Chief: Coffee...

Going into Leah's house: Take 3

Director: Start from there again, Ozzy! Action!

*Ozzy starts looking through Leah's stuff and pulls out a photo of Leah wearing a black lacy lingerie*

Ozzy: Whooo, damn you look hot here!

Thrax: Let me see that *looks at the photo* Mmm-mm baby, you look mighty fine.

Leah: *blushes* NOO!! That was a dare!! One of my friends dared me to put that on!! Who put that damn photo there anyway!!??

Ozzy: Why can't you wear this more often?

Leah: *smacks Ozzy across the face*

Ozzy: *rubs his throbbing cheek* Sorry...

Thrax: I wouldn't mind seeing you wear this baby... *smirks*

Leah: You're all perverts! *stomps off towards her dressing room once again*

Rex: *turns to Roxy* Would you wear that?

Roxy: Leah's right - you are all perverts *walks off towards her dressing room too*

Rex: Wait - Roxy I'm sorry - Roxy!! WAIT!! *rushes off after her*

Chief: I wonder if there's a special lingerie for coffee?

*everyone backs away from him*

Act 8

The Photo Album: Take 1

*Thrax is flicking through Leah's photo album, humming to himself, he suddenly comes across a photo of Ozzy in his boxer shorts*

Thrax: Oh my God *starts laughing hysterically*

Ozzy: What? What's so funny?

Thrax: *half-laughing* Nice boxer shorts, Jones! *starts laughing yet again*

Ozzy: *blushes with embarrassment* Boxer shorts!!?? *snatches the picture* Oh - oh very funny - who was the wise ass that put this photo in there?

*cast and crew fall about laughing at Ozzy*

The Photo Album: Take 2

*Thrax is flicking through Leah's photo album, humming to himself, he suddenly comes across a drawing of Kayley wearing cat ears, a cat tail and a maid outfit*

Thrax: What the hell? Who drew Kayley like this?

Kayley: Drew me like what? *looks at the picture* WHAT!!

*All look at Jacob*

Jacob: What? You all accuse me of drawing it?

Thrax: Well, it says 'by Jacob' so yeah, we pretty much do.

Jacob: *blushes* Ok, ok, I drew it - it's just my fantasy idea of how I'd love Kayley to look - and she'll be my little maid - telling me how great I am and fetching me tea and my daily newspaper and I'll admire how radiant and adorable she looks-

Everyone: PERVERT!!

Carl: Grrrrrr!! I'm definitely gonna kill you one of these days!! *takes out a shotgun*

Jacob: *screams like a girl and runs off with Carl chasing after him*

Director: *facepalm* Everyone here is either a pervert or a maniac or a complete idiot.

Chief: Coffee!!!!!!!

The Photo Album: Take 3

*Thrax flicks through Leah's photo album and comes across a photo of him in his boxers*

Thrax: *goes red* What the fuck!!!??

Ozzy: Let me see that!! *grabs it off him* AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Thrax: What's so funny?

Ozzy: Who the hell took a picture of you in your boxers!??

Thrax: That's what I'd like to know!! *grabs the photo off Ozzy and burns it*

Ozzy: Why'd you have to burn it?? I could have put it on the internet and embarrassed you for life!!!

Thrax: *smirks* Thanks for telling me einstein, now I'll be sure burn every single embarrassing photo of me so you can't do that

Ozzy: Grrrrrrrrr....

Rachel's death: Take 1

Rachel: I really wanna go to bed...

*hears a crash in the bedroom*

Rachel: *gets up from her seat and walks into the bedroom* Wh-who's there? B-Buffy?

Director: Cut! Rachel it's 'Fluffy' not 'Buffy'!

Rachel: Fluffy? I could have sworn my script read Buffy! Honestly, I think we should re-name the cat as Buffy - y'know, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer - it's cool isn't it?

*everyone mumbles in agreement*

Director: I don't give a damn! FOLLOW THE FREAKIN' SCRIPT!

Rachel: *narrows her eyes* You sir, have no taste!

Thrax: I agree with her - you always know how to ruin everything.

Director: I do not! I'm just trying to make a proper movie here with my actors following their SCRIPTS!! *starts stabbing the script with his finger* SCRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPTS!!

Thrax: We know what a script is, asshole!

Director: Then follow it!! I don't get paid enough for this!

Thrax: You're gonna end up a poor freak with no love life - oh no wait, it already happened!

*cast and crew start laughing*

Director: *lip quivers* You didn't have to mention it....

Rachel's death: Take 2

Rachel: I really wanna go to bed...

*hears a crash in the bedroom*

Rachel: *gets up from her seat and walks into the bedroom* Wh-who's there? F-fluffy?

*Thrax suddenly emerges from the shadows*

Thrax: Nice place you got here, babeh

Rachel: Y-you - what're you doing here?!

Thrax: What? You got nothing else to say out of that smart mouth of yours?

Rachel: Actually I do - Leah's an idiot for going out with a guy like you!

Thrax: What!? *grits his teeth* Why I oughta- *chases Rachel*

Rachel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! *runs out of the studio with Thrax right behind her*

Director: Oh for the love of God!

Leah: Rachel should really take note of what kind of person she's dealing with...

Ozzy: Yeah, but nonetheless - GO RACHEL!! YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH!!

*Gets clobbered by Leah*

Rachel's death: Take 3

Director: OK, Rachel. We'll start from when Thrax pushes you out the window, now I want you to fall back down onto this soft cushiony mat-

Rachel: Uh, sir, won't that hurt?

Director: Not if you fall correctly and land on the mat

Rachel: Oh - oh ok...

Director: Ready? And ACTION!

*Thrax pushes Rachel, she falls down and misses the mat, landing with a thud*

Thrax: *looks down* Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

Director: *into the megaphone* Rachel? Are you ok?

Rachel: *groans in pain* Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh.... can someone help me up?

*Leah rushes over to Rachel and helps her up*

Drix: Oh dear, I think we need medical assistance again!

Roxy: I'll get on the phone to them right away! *pulls out her cellphone and dialls 911*

Director: This is definitely not my day....

Chief: Coffee!!!

Act 9

The Torture Chamber: Take 1

*Thrax and Leah walk into the room and find a random virus standing next to a dead blood cell, his head seperated from his body and his membrane cut open.*

Leah: *screams*

Director: Dear God what the hell is wrong now??!

Leah: It just looks so grotesque!!

Director: It's not a real blood cell, Leah - it's fake!!

Leah: I know but it's just so cruel!

Director: *sighs* It's pretend, Leah...

Leah: Whoever wrote the script has one dark imagination....

Thrax: I praise whoever wrote the script...

Chief: I praise whoever invented coffee....

*gets whacked on the head with the Director's megaphone*

The Torture Chamber: Take 2

*Thrax and Leah walk into the room and find a random virus standing next to a dead blood cell, his head seperated from his body and his membrane cut open.*

Thrax: Was this one any better?

Virus: Nah - effective but the other one was better - a lot better - *looks at Leah* What the hell is she doing here?!

Thrax: She's with me, yo! If you've got a problem with that I can just ask you to leave

Virus: N-no - no problem here - I didn't know she was with you!

Leah: What - is all this?

Thrax: Mm, I'm glad you asked, baby - it's a long story but I'm sure you'll have time to listen. Years ago back in the Victorian times, viruses like the Plague and Typhoid were very, very deadly - killed thousands of people, they didn't have any cure for these viruses at that time, baby - back in those days people were tortured a lot - used devices like these. Those viruses were facinated by this brilliant creation and started making them too - they tortured millions of blood cells they could manage to collect, it was almost like a hobby to them, babeh. A very cruel hobby - unfortunately, those olden time viruses eventually died out when medicines and vaccines were introduced

Leah: Then-

Ozzy: ZOMG JACK THE RIPPER!!

Director: Ozzy shut the hell up!! You've just ruined the tension that was meant to be built up during this scene!!

Ozzy: Oh I can assure you the tension was definitely not ruined - I felt so fucking tense thinking about Jack the Ripper while Thrax was telling us that story....

Director: *facepalm*

The Torture Chamber: Take 3

Thrax: Mm, I'm glad you asked, baby - it's a long story but I'm sure you'll have time to listen. Years ago back in the Victorian times, viruses like the Plague and Typhoid were very, very deadly - killed thousands of people, they didn't have any cure for these viruses at that time, baby - back in those days people were tortured a lot - used devices like these. Those viruses were facinated by this brilliant creation and started making them too - they tortured millions of blood cells they could manage to collect, it was almost like a hobby to them, babeh. A very cruel hobby - unfortunately, those olden time viruses eventually died out when medicines and vaccines were introduced

Leah: Then...how did these get here?

Thrax: Other viruses have heard the story before and wanted to carry this on - thinking it a brilliant idea, this chamber was here ever since Frank was a young boy - it was built by the Flu virus, baby

Leah: How did you find it?

Thrax: You just hear things, babeh

Ozzy: That's cuz he's actually Jack the Ripper!!

Director: JONES!!!

Ozzy: *shuts up*

Thrax: I wouldn't mind being Jack the Ripper y'know.... means I can cut you open, Jones....

Ozzy: Holy fuck! *runs off*

Thrax: *chuckles*

Rex and Ozzy: Take 1

Rex: Hey, Cuzzy-Ozzy, what's up?

Ozzy: Oh, it's you - and didn't I tell you not to call me that

Rex: Sorry, sorry

Ozzy: Apology not accepted you moron, I'm being serious! I told you not to call me that!!

Rex: *starts teasing* Cuzzy-Ozzy! Cuzzy-Ozzy!

Ozzy: Grrrrr!!

Director: Boys! Boys! Will you two just stop it!!

Rex & Ozzy: Sorry sir....

Director: Good, can we now- *sits on some cheesecake that had been left on his chair* What the - UGH!!!

*Cast and crew burst in fits of laughter*

Rex and Ozzy: Take 2

Rex: Hey, Cuzzy-Ozzy, what's up?

Ozzy: Oh, it's you - and didn't I tell you not to call me that

Rex: Sorry, sorry. *grimaces* Have you been drinking whisky?!

Ozzy: *also girmaces* Have you been drinking wine?!

Director: *getting annoyed* Have you both been drinking on the job?!

*Ozzy and Rex both bow their heads, guilty*

Chief: I've been drinking COFFEE!!

Rex and Ozzy: Take 3

Rex: Hey, Cuzzy-Ozzy, what's up?

Ozzy: Oh, it's you - and didn't I tell you not to call me that

Rex: Sorry, sorry. *grimaces* Have you been drinking whisky?!

Ozzy: So? I can do whatever I want - if I wanna drink, I drink - if I wanna jump off a building, I'll jump off a building - If I wanna-

Rex: Ok, ok, I get it - sheesh, has that whisky gotten to your head or what? How much did you drink?

Ozzy: The whole bottle - why?

Rex: The whole bottle? *phone starts ringing* Oh, hang on I'll get that *answers phone* Hello? Yes, this is Rex. *to Ozzy* Ozzy, it's that stalker from prom night - he's still waiting for a kiss from yonder blue-haired beauty

Ozzy: Oh God, I thought I'd lost him! Man I should have never listened to that dare to dress up as a girl for prom nigh- oh crap...

*cast and crew all burst out laughing uncontrollably*

Thrax: You dressed up as a girl for prom night?

Ozzy: It was a freakin' dare! And then I just had to meet that creepy stalker who wanted a kiss from me!

Thrax: *starts laughing at him*

Ozzy: Wasn't funny.....

Meeting up with Chill: Take 1

Ozzy: Chicken Pock fights

Rex: They're illegal

*they all spot a green virus up ahead*

Ozzy: That's Chill. He's a flu shot

Drix: Funny, he doesn't look fluish

Ozzy: You guys stay here and watch the maestro work

Roxy: *rolls her eyes* This should be interesting

Ozzy: Yo, Chill! Chill! Don't you know that Pock fights are against the law? *produces a photo of him naked as a baby* Whoops!! Tha-that wasn't meant to happen!! *blushes with embarrassment*

Roxy: *starts laughing* Oh Ozzy, you look so adorable!!

Ozzy: *still blushing* Oh man, this just isn't my day...

*cast and crew all laugh at the photo of Ozzy*

Meeting up with Chill: Take 2

Ozzy: Chicken Pock fights

Rex: They're illegal

*they all spot a green virus up ahead*

Ozzy: That's Chill. He's a flu shot

Drix: Funny, he doesn't look fluish

Ozzy: You guys stay here and watch the maestro work

Roxy: *rolls her eyes* This should be interesting

Ozzy: Yo, Chill! Chill! Don't you know that Pock fights are against the law?

*the viruses that were betting run off and leave Chill*

Chill: Where're you all goin'? Thanks a lot, junior. You just cost me twenty

Ozzy: Money aint gonna be your problem if you don't tell me about the sinuses

Chill: Hey, I was injected into this body to rat on influenza only, and this don't sound like influenza to me. Now beat it!

Ozzy: I bet Johnny - uuuh - Johnny whatshisname? *starts laughing with Chill* Johnny Strepsels was it?

*Chill and Ozzy burst out in fits of laughter*

Director: Har har, very funny, didn't you even learn your lines?

Ozzy: I did for your information - but that line is just so freakin hard to remember! I mean who can remember a name like Johnny whateverhisnameis?

Director: It's Johnny Streptoccocus.

Ozzy: It sounds a lot like Johnny Strepsels.

Director: Just learn your lines you moron!! *brings hand to his forehead* My poor nerves....

Meeting up with Chill: Take 3

Ozzy: Money aint gonna be your problem if you don't tell me about the sinuses

Chill: Hey, I was injected into this body to rat on influenza only, and this don't sound like influenza to me. Now beat it!

Ozzy: I bet Johnny Streptoccocus and the Melanoma family would be very interested to hear about your flu shot work

Chill: You can't jack me on that, brother. I'm in the Virus Protection Program. *sees Drix rushing towards him* Wait - wha-

*Drix shoves his gun arm in Chill's mouth and pushes Chill against the wall a little too hard so that Chill ends up crashing through the wall, falling down through it.

Chill: *from below* OW MY FUCKING ASS!!

Drix: Oh gosh... *calls down* Sorry! I'm so sorry! *to Roxy* We need medical assistance again!

Roxy: Right on it, Drix! *takes out cellphone*

Director: I think I need medical assistance for my poor nerves

Thrax: *kicks him in the balls*

Director: *falls over in pain* Why the hell did you do that!!

Thrax: *shrugs* I thought if you had pain somewhere else it might distract you from your fucking nerves you keep complaining about. *walks off*

Director: *whimpers* Kayley dear, can you please bring me some ice?

Kayley: Sure thing, sir *walks off to get a bag of ice*

Jacob: *growls* Don't you DARE call my Kayley 'dear'!! She's mine! MINE!!

Carl: *throws a couple of stage lights on top of Jacob*

Act 10

The Zit: Take 1

*Ozzy, Drix, Roxy and Rex arrive at the Zit*

Ozzy: *steps out of the car* Damn girl, you sure do drive fast! For a second there I thought we weren’t gonna make it

Roxy: Sorry ‘bout that, I still need to work more on not exceeding the speed limit

Rex: Well…at least you didn’t actually crash into something this time

Roxy: True, true

Drix: *stares at the club* My, what big Zits he has. How does something like this happen?

Ozzy: You wash your face with fried chicken, that’s how!

*Drix walks forward*

Ozzy: Whoa, whoa, hey - yo, where d’you think you’re going?

Drix: To get our cootie!

Ozzy: Looking like that? They’ll tear you apart! You’ve gotta get spiffy!

Drix: Spiffy?

*Ozzy rearranges himself to look like a germ*

Ozzy: Check it out!

*Roxy starts laughing*

Ozzy: What?

Roxy: You look ridiculous!

Rex: No offence, Oz, but you do look weird!

Ozzy: Just as well then, all germs look weird!

Roxy: Racism!

Thrax: *from the sidelines* Tell it girl! Speak the truth!

Director: CUT!! Thrax! What are you doing?

Thrax: Cheering her on, what does it look like I'm doing?

Director: Well don't do it!

Thrax: Hey - Ozzy was bashing viruses and Roxy was right - that is racism!

Director: It's just acting for God's sake!

Thrax: I'm gonna kill whoever wrote that damn script....

The Zit: Take 2

Ozzy: Just as well then, all germs look weird!

Roxy: Racism!

Drix: *staring at Ozzy's germ disguise* Hmm. Flexible cellular dynamics. What an ingenious defence mechanism! Ooh, ooh, let me try!

*tries to rearrange himself but only succeeds in mangling his face*

Drix: What do you think?

Ozzy: *hesitates* I think - you should guard the car

Drix: Oh no, this is my mission too. I insist on going in with you!

Ozzy: All right, we gotta get you something to wear

*all enter the club*

Drix: Are you sure this disguise is working?

Ozzy: Oh yeah, yeah, it’s perfect!

*Ozzy spots some germs up ahead on top of a balcony*

Ozzy: We’ve got company, act cool! So try to relax - fit in - shake your tail cell or something!

Drix: I don’t dance - I have no left feet

Ozzy: You don’t dance…you don’t dance! Oh, c’mon don’t tell me you've never got jiggy with it!

Drix: No - I - no, no

Ozzy: C’mon, baby, give me a little bit of this! *starts dancing in a very strange way*

Drix: Oh al- *starts laughing* All ri- *laughs* I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry *laughs* He's making me laugh - his dancing technique is just positively priceless! *starts laughing with Ozzy*

Ozzy: Oh yeah baby! Let's do the funky chicken! *starts laughing as he does it*

Drix: *begins laughing uncontrollably*

*Roxy and Rex burst in fits of laughter, clutching their sides*

Director: Will you all pull yourselves together!!

*All four of them continue laughing, ignoring the Director*

Director: *sighs* Sometimes I think I'm talking to the wall....

The Zit: Take 3

*Leah enters the Zit after getting Roxy's text message*

Roxy: *sees Leah coming over* Oh shit! She came??!!

Rex: Over there! Let's head into through that door! *runs off*

Leah: Drix? Where's Ozzy and the rest of them?! Where did they go?!

Drix: *ignoring Leah's question* Uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm dancin', I'm dancin' - watch me do the funky chicken!

*Leah burst out laughing with Drix*

Director: Cut! CUT! Leah, Drix, stop laughing this instant!

Leah: *laughs* Oh, I'm sorry, Director *laughs* That dance was just too funny! *starts laughing even harder* Oh god, I've got the giggles...

Director: *facepalm* I swear there's laughing gas surrounding the Zit set....

The Zit: Take 4

*Leah enters the Zit after getting Roxy's text message*

Roxy: *sees Leah coming over* Oh shit! She came??!!

Rex: Over there! Let's head into through that door! *runs off*

Leah: Drix? Where's Ozzy and the rest of them?! Where did they go?!

Drix: *ignoring Leah's question* Uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm dancin', I'm dancin' - watch me do the funky chicken!

Leah: *sighs*

*back in the room with Ozzy, Thrax and his goons*

Ozzy: 'Xcuse me. 'Xcuse me. I've got one more question I would like to ask. Is there anything, let's just say, a white blood cell could do to stop this evil plan? Y'know hypothetically speaking, that is

Thrax: *coming over to Ozzy* And, who're you?

Ozzy: Who am I? Who am I?! Ah bad, booty-shakin' pickanosis. Yeah, that's who I am

Thrax: Never heard of ya *walks away*

Ozzy: Never heard of me? *silence* Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to say that was I?

Director: *glares at him* No. No you weren't.

Ozzy: *starts laughing*

The Zit: Take 5

Ozzy: 'Xcuse me. 'Xcuse me. I've got one more question I would like to ask. Is there anything, let's just say, a white blood cell could do to stop this evil plan? Y'know hypothetically speaking, that is

Thrax: *coming over to Ozzy* And, who're you?

Ozzy: Who am I? Who am I?! Ah bad - *starts laughing uncontrollably*

Thrax: *starts laughing too*

Director: Oh for God's sake... *places a huge bag of ice on his head*

The Zit: Take 6

Ozzy: 'Xcuse me. 'Xcuse me. I've got one more question I would like to ask. Is there anything, let's just say, a white blood cell could do to stop this evil plan? Y'know hypothetically speaking, that is

Thrax: *coming over to Ozzy* And, who're you?

Ozzy: Who am I? Who am I?! Ah bad, booty-shakin' pickanosis. Yeah, that's who I am

Thrax: Never heard of ya *walks away*

Ozzy: That's cuz you just got here. But you ask any of these suckers, when it comes to illin', bad booty-shakin pickanosis stands above all the rest!

*Roxy and Rex run into the room, Rex slips and starts sliding across the slippery floor and crashes into the corner*

Roxy: *starts laughing uncontrollably* Oh my god! *laughs*

Rex: *also starts laughing*

*cast and crew all laugh*

Director: *sighs irritably* This has to be one of the longest scenes where it involves laughing at every freakin take! *bangs his head against the camera*

The Zit: Take 7

Ozzy: 'Xcuse me. 'Xcuse me. I've got one more question I would like to ask. Is there anything, let's just say, a white blood cell could do to stop this evil plan? Y'know hypothetically speaking, that is

Thrax: *coming over to Ozzy* And, who're you?

Ozzy: Who am I? Who am I?! Ah bad, booty-shakin' pickanosis. Yeah, that's who I am

Thrax: Never heard of ya *walks away*

Ozzy: That's cuz you just got here. But you ask any of these suckers, when it comes to illin', bad booty-shakin pickanosis stands above all the rest!

*Rex and Roxy run into the room and stop*

Rex: Uh - uh - yo, hey there! 'Sup, dudes!

Thrax: Who the hell are you?!

Rex: I'm - I'm Cloud! And this is - Roxy!

Ozzy: They're with me! They meant to come earlier but forgot - they're my friends, right guys? Y'know your friend, bad booty-shakin' pickanosis right?

Rex: O-of course we do! Yo, dudes, we're sorry for, like, barging in on yo top secret, important plans, but we just came here to-

Ozzy: To sing a song! *to Rex* Y'know that song you was talkin' 'bout, you was gonna sing it and all to give a little bit o' courage for these germ dudes about to go on a very dangerous mission!

Rex: Uh - uh, sure - yeah - a song... ok, here goes then:

I am Sora

Here's my Keyblade

When I see Heartless

I'm not afraid

Oh wait, that's the wrong song *starts laughing*

*cast and crew start laughing uncontrollably*

Director: *cries*

Chief: Why doesn't he sing a song about coffee? .....coooooofffeeeeeee.....

The Zit: Take 8

*Rex and Roxy run into the room and stop*

Rex: Uh - uh - yo, hey there! 'Sup, dudes!

Thrax: Who the hell are you?!

Rex: I'm - I'm Cloud! And this is - Roxy!

Ozzy: They're with me! They meant to come earlier but forgot - they're my friends, right guys? Y'know your friend, bad booty-shakin' pickanosis right?

Rex: O-of course we do! Yo, dudes, we're sorry for, like, barging in on yo top secret, important plans, but we just came here to-

Ozzy: To sing a song! *to Rex* Y'know that song you was talkin' 'bout, you was gonna sing it and all to give a little bit o' courage for these germ dudes about to go on a very dangerous mission!

Rex: Uh - uh, sure - yeah - a song... ok, here goes then:

My name is Cloud

I have a sword

I fight cactuars

Because I'm bored

I like to ride

On Chocobos

It's better than

Having afros

And when I go

Into an INN

15 seconds,

It's day again

And I will use

A Phoenix down,

So when I die

I will not frown

Because I am Cloud!

My hair defies all gravity

And I can't have too many potions

Or I might get cavities!

If I can't slice you

Then that's okay

I'll use my magic

Anyway

I will defeat

That Sephiroth

Because he's not

David Lee Roth.

YEAH! Whoo! How was that for a song!

*hits Ozzy in the face a little too hard*

Ozzy: Ouch! Ack my nose! I think it's bleeding *rubs his nose and looks at his hand* Yup, it's bleeding...

Rex: Ooh, sorry 'bout that man, do we need medical assistance again?

Director: NO! Just run off and fetch a plaster, he'll be fine!

Ozzy: Plaster?! No way - I'll be in my dressing room until the bleeding stops... *walks off set*

Director: *buries his face in his hands* Why me... why ME! I'll never be successful like my brother....

Thrax: *rolls his eyes* Oh brother... family issues...

The Zit: Take 9

Rex: My name is Cloud

I have a sword

I fight cactuars

Because I'm bored

I like to ride

On Chocobos

It's better than

Having afros

And when I go

Into an INN

15 seconds,

It's day again

And I will use

A Phoenix down,

So when I die

I will not frown

Because I am Cloud!

My hair defies all gravity

And I can't have too many potions

Or I might get cavities!

If I can't slice you

Then that's okay

I'll use my magic

Anyway

I will defeat

That Sephiroth

Because he's not

David Lee Roth.

YEAH! Whoo! How was that for a song!

*hits Ozzy in the face, causing him to rearrange back into his normal self and knocking his FPD badge out of his pocket*

Germ: Hey that aint no germ! That's a cop!

*germs grab hold of Ozzy, Rex and Roxy*

Thrax: Well, what do we have here. Officers from Frank's finest - somebody lay down a towel, this is gonna be messy

*The wall behind them explodes*

Drix: Attention germs you are surrounded! Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh surrounded!

Leah: Drix! Stop running away from me and answer my question! *stops and sees Thrax and the others* Ozzy?! Thrax what're you-

*Ozzy slid out from the germs' clutches and kicks Thrax, though he missed Thrax's stomach and accidently kicked him in the balls instead*

Thrax: Ah FUCK! *in pain*

Ozzy: Whoops! Sorry! I know how that must feel...

Thrax: *kicks Ozzy in the same area*

Ozzy: *falls over in pain*

Thrax: Now you definitely know how it feels!!

Director: *sighs* One of these days they're gonna eventually end up seriously injuring themselves.... or more importantly me if I'm not careful....

Chief: Or my beloved coffee.....

Act 11

Ozzy gets fired: Take 1

Chief: Jones! In my office

Ozzy: What's up Chief? Who died? Other than Thrax that is!

Thrax: I'm not dead you moron!

Ozzy: You will be if you don't stop butting in when I'm trying to do my part!

Thrax: I'd like to see you try!

Director: Oh would you two both SHUT UP!

Chief: Yeah! You're scaring coffee! *hugs his cup of coffee* Don't worry coffee, everything's gonna be all right...

Director: *facepalm* You sir, are just plain weird...

Torture Scene: Take 1

*Thrax enters the Torture Chamber with Leah*

Thrax: This'll teach you not to fuckin' mess with me!

*Leah start hitting Thrax on the arm*

Thrax: What the hell are you doin'?

Leah: Don't say bad words! You can't say bad words! *starts laughing*

Thrax: Oh very funny *laughs*

Director: *sighs* Would you guys just be serious for once?!

Leah: Sorry, sorry - couldn't help it

Director: *drinks another bottle of whisky*

Torture Scene: Take 2

*Thrax enters the Torture Chamber with Leah*

Thrax: This'll teach you not to fuckin' mess with me!

*digs his claw along her arm*

Leah: *screams in pain*

Director: Brilliant Leah! Your scream of pain sounded so perfect! Almost like it was real!

Leah: That's because it was real! *glares at Thrax* You weren't meant to do it so realistically

Thrax: Sorry - I got too into the moment

Escaping Frank: Take 1

*Ozzy, Drix and Leah enter the uvula, looking for Thrax. Thrax grabs hold of Leah from a corner*

Thrax: Thought you'd escape me, didn't you, baby?

*A S.P.I.T helicopter arrives*

S.P.I.T member: Don't move! We've got you surrounded!

Ozzy: Give it up Thrax! It's over! Now let Leah go!

Thrax: Yall makin' this too easy! *takes out a couple of pollen pods from his trench coat* Check this out!

*hurls the pollen pods at the helicopter, it accidently hits one of the S.P.I.T members in the face; knocking them out of the helicopter*

Thrax: Crap....

Director: THRAX!! THAT WAS ONE OF MY BEST EXTRAS!!

Chief: Coffee...coffee....

Escaping Frank: Take 2

*Ozzy, Drix and Leah enter the uvula, looking for Thrax. Thrax grabs hold of Leah from a corner*

Thrax: Thought you'd escape me, didn't you, baby?

*A S.P.I.T helicoptor arrives*

S.P.I.T member: Don't move! We've got you surrounded!

Ozzy: Give it up Thrax! It's over! Now let Leah go!

Thrax: Yall makin' this too easy! *takes out a couple of pollen pods from his trench coat* Check this out!

*hurls them at the helicoptor's blades, causing them to burst into many pieces. Frank breathes in, getting ready to sneeze*

Thrax: Enjoy the funeral boys! *glides out towards the mouth with Leah as Frank sneezes, accidently drops her*

Thrax: Oops...

Ozzy: *becomes hysterical* AAAAH!! LEAH!! YOU FUCKIN' CLUMSY BASTARD!!

Thrax: *hurls a couple of more pollen pods at Ozzy's head, hitting him*

Ozzy vs Thrax: Take 1

*Thrax tries to punch Ozzy but misses, Ozzy lunged forward, getting ready to punch him in the face - he missed and punched Thrax in the balls instead, again. Thrax keeled over in pain, clutching his crotch*

Ozzy: Oh, hey man, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry - I keep trying to get my aim right

Thrax: *growls angrily* Oh you got it all right!

Ozzy: Sorry... I definitely know how that feels...

Director: *sighs* Kayley dear, go get Thrax a bag of ice.

Kayley: Yes, sir *runs off*

*Jacob glares at the Director*

Jacob: I thought I told you not to call her that! She's mine!

Carl: *re-loads his gun* Care for round two, asshole?

*chases Jacob out of the building yet again*

Director: *facepalm* Oh lord, help me...

Ozzy vs Thrax: Take 2

*Thrax tries to punch Ozzy but misses, Ozzy lunged forward, getting ready to punch him in the face - Thrax then kicks Ozzy in the balls. Ozzy falls over in pain*

Ozzy: *in pain* Ow! You did that on purpose!

Thrax: I was just trying to get even...

Director: *buries his face in his hands* Oh for the love of God these two will never get on!

Chief: Maybe we should try giving them a coffee bath - it always calms me down...

Director: *looks at Chief* Are you freakin' serious?

Chief: Yep, it's true!

Director: No, I mean do you seriously bathe in coffee?

Chief: *smiles* Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss..... coffeeeeeee....

Ozzy vs Thrax: Take 3

*Thrax lungs forward and digs his claw in Ozzy*

Thrax: Can you feel the heat Jones? *chuckles* Too bad you won't be here to watch me break my record when I take down Frank's pretty little girl

Ozzy: She aint goin' nowhere! You are!

*Thrax looks down to find that his hand was stuck in the false eyelash and that Ozzy had formed a circle around his chest so that Thrax didn't succeed in stabbing him*

Thrax: What?! *tries to pull his hand out*

*Ozzy slides out from underneath him and ran towards Leah. He took her hand and rushed forwards, trying to get off the falsie*

Thrax: No! NOOOOOOOOO! *struggles to break free*

*Ozzy held onto Leah and jumped off the false eyelash as it broke free and hurtled into the beaker of alcohol below, he hung onto one of Shane's real eyelashes and climbed up onto the eye to safety*

Ozzy: Whew! We did it! Now let's get back to --

*Thrax grabs hold of Ozzy's neck*

Thrax: Thought you got rid of me?! This aint over yet, baby! *grabs the chain from Ozzy* Bye, bye Jones!

Ozzy: No - fuck - Leah -- LEAH!!!

Leah: OZZY!!

*Thrax grabs her neck and pins her down*

Thrax: Now - you're next baby...

*starts choking Leah, she spots the chain and grabs it off his hand*

Leah: You want this so bad - *starts laughing* Well you can just have it! *laughs as she throws the chain at Thrax*

Thrax: *starts laughing too*

Director: CUT! Leah, what's wrong with you?

Leah: *laughs* I felt the urge to ham it up...

Director: *hits himself on the head with the megaphone*

Act 12

Meeting Mayor Alanine: Take 1

*Leah is wearing her goth disguise and makes her way towards Cerrebellum Hall*

Jacob: Where d'ya think you're going, Goth girl?!

Leah: To see the Mayor

Jacob: Who the hell d'ya think you are anyway? Amy Lee? Cuz you're certainly not her!

Director: CUT! Jacob! That wasn't what you were supposed to say! Next time read your script properly!

Jacob: But I think what I said was so much better than what was written on the script!

Director: I don't pay you to improvise! Now you start following the script or else I'll fire you!

Jacob: Yes sir....

Chief: Is it time for a coffee break now? .....coffee.....

Meeting Mayor Alanine: Take 2

*Leah is wearing her goth disguise and makes her way towards Cerrebellum Hall*

Jacob: Where d'ya think you're going, Goth girl?!

Leah: To see the Mayor

Jacob: Who the hell d'ya think you are anyway? You can't just waltz in to see the Mayor just like that!

Leah: But - but you don't understand - I have to!

Jacob: Probably some virus spy eh? I aint lettin' you in, missy!

Leah: I'm a citizen of the City of Frank!

Jacob: Yeah, right! Don't you know that ole' Frank is dead! Either way you still wouldn't have been able to get in here unless you were an intruder!

Leah: I'm notan intruder!

Jacob: That's it. I'm taking you in - hey, who's that behind you?

Leah: *turns around* Who? That red-haired guy?

Jacob: Yeah

Rex: Oh, hey! That's Reno!

Jacob: How do you know all these people?

Rex: I'm a huge Final Fantasy Freak... GO FF7!!

Roxy: *fangirl squeal* RENO!!!

Reno: ...Wait, how did I get here? *pauses* Oh no - FANGIRLS!! AAAAAAHH!!

*gets glomped by a couple of extras*

Director: *facepalm* These random events are just too much for me....

Roxy: *gasps* Ladies please! Get offa him! You'll ruin his face!

Meeting Mayor Alanine: Take 3

*Jacob brings Leah into the Mayor's office*

Jacob: *clears his throat for attention, causing Carl to bang his head against the desk*

Carl: Ugh - god, could you at least knock, Collins?

Jacob: Sorry - but could you get the Mayor in here immediately, this virus was trying to break into Cerebellum Hall!

Carl: Virus? *looks at Leah and then walks off into the other room* Miss Mayor? Can you come here please?

*Returns with Kayley at his side*

Jacob: *starts blushing violently* Oh Kalyey, you look so adorable! I'd really love to take you home with me so we could be together forever!! *clasps his hand together*

Kayley: Eww, I'd rather die...

Carl: Would you leave Kayley out of your pedo fantasies!

Jacob: *shocked* I do not have pedo fantasies!!

Carl: *sarcastic* Yeah, like having her dressed up in a maid outfit with cat ears and a tail is not pedo-ish!

Jacob: *looks embarrassed*

Kayley: I'll be in my dressing room *walks off set*

Director: *bangs his head against the megaphone*

Act 13

Getting Volunteers: Take 1

*Leah enters the house and accidently breaks the door*

Leah: Oops

*Thrax comes out of the kitchen*

Thrax: What the fuck did you do?

Leah: Ikindabrokeit

Thrax: What?

Leah: I broke it. Look, never mind about the stupid door, you told me this morning that you wanted me to do something for you, what is it then?

Thrax: Well, seeing as I can't really take down this body alone - I'm interested in finding me a few volunteers who want in on a big score

Leah: So? What's that got to do with me?

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* NOOO! He's gonna rape you!!

Director: OZZY, SHUT UP!!!

Ozzy: But it's truuuuuuuuuuuuuue!!

Director: Not in this scene! He only rapes her in Act 16!! Get a grip, Jones!

Ozzy: How can I get a grip? That just makes things a thousand times worse!

Director: Oh lord, he's never gonna shut up....

Getting Volunteers: Take 2

*Leah enters a pub and walks over to a gang of germs*

Germ Leader: What do you want, girly?

Leah: I'm just looking for volunteers - a few ger- ohmigosh it's Cloud again!!

Cloud: *looks around* Wait... was I in here before? Where exactly am I anyway....

Random girl extras: *jumping up and down hyperactively* CLOUD!! *squeal*

Cloud: Oh no fangirls.... Whoa hey - stay back! Stay back! AAAAAAGGHH!!

*Cloud gets trampled over by the random fangirls*

Leah: I can't believe he actually came, again!

Director: This is just too much, seriously! How do these people get here in the first place?! And why is it mostly people from Final Fantasy!!

Rex: They probably sense that there's an FF freak around here....

Getting Volunteers: Take 3

*Leah enters a pub and walks over to a gang of germs*

Germ Leader: What do you want, girly?

Leah: I'm just looking for volunteers - a few germs who want in on a big score

Germ Leader: Big score? What's this all about?

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* What she basically means is that Thrax is a prostitute

Thrax: JONES!! STOP THAT!!

*cast and crew all burst out in fits of uncontrollable laughter*

Ruining Leah's disguise: Take 1

*Jacob comes barging into the Mayor's office*

Kayley: What is it this time, Collins?

Jacob: It's that woman again, Miss Mayor

*Leah entered the room*

Kayley: Ah, Stacy, you came back! *turns to Carl* Can you fetch us all a cup of coffee, please?

Carl: Of course

Jacob: B-but -but - Miss Mayor, you always ask me to fetch some coffee for you! *cries*

Director: Of for God's sake you weren't meant to start crying!!

Jacob: I can't help it! I'm just upset because my one true love doesn't return her feelings for me!

Kayley: I have no feelings for you

Jacob: *cries more*

Ruining Leah's disguise: Take 2

Jacob comes barging into the Mayor's office*

Kayley: What is it this time, Collins?

Jacob: It's that woman again, Miss Mayor

*Leah entered the room*

Kayley: Ah, Stacy, you came back! *turns to Carl* Can you fetch us all a cup of coffee, please?

Carl: Of course

Jacob: How come you have no feelings more me, Kayley?!!

Director: CUT! That's irrelevant!! Stop pestering her and follow the freakin' script!!

Jacob: *whimpers*

Ruining Leah's disguise: Take 3

*Kayley leaves the office for an interview down in the Bowels and leaves Carl and Leah alone*

Leah: *gazing out at the city* Wow... Your city is just so beautiful...

Carl: It sure is

*Jacob comes barging in with a broom, ruining the peaceful moment*

Carl: What's that broom for?

Jacob: I'll have you know that I'm sweeping up Miss Mayor's office, she's sure to be very grateful once I tell her! Then she and I can be on good terms once again!

*Jacob swings the broom out enthusiastically, accidently hitting Leah in the eye instead of the wig*

Leah: OW!! You bastard!! Watch where you're swinging that thing!!

Jacob: Sorry...

Director: *sighs* Not another idiot

Chief: But shall I always be your favourite?

Director: If you mean favourite idiot then yes

Chief: Yay! *hugs his cup of coffee*

Act 14

Going back to Cerrebellum Hall: Take 1

*Leah walks up to the entrance and Jacob spots her*

Jacob: Y-you! IN-

*Leah hits him hard across the head, knocking him unconscious. She snags his ID card and keys from his pocket and rushes inside to the Mayor's office*

*Carl sees Leah come in*

Carl: You... Get out of here!

Leah: Carl, please - just let me explain! This isn't easy for me!

Carl: Explain what?! That you lied to us -

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* Don't worry, brother - she lied to me too!

Director: OZZY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Thrax: *smirks and teases* Ooooooooh - you swore!

Director: *embarrassed* Shut up.... I didn't mean to....

Director's mom: *suddenly comes in* Henry! Do my ears decieve me? Did you just swear!?

Director: Mommy! I'm sorry! I just got frustrated and it kinda slipped out! It was an accident, mommy!!

Director's mom: *pulls him by the ear out of the building* Oh, I'm gonna give you a good talkin' to young man!

Director: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

*cast and crew all laugh*

Meeting Janice and Pana: Take 1

*Leah enters the police station*

Leah: Excuse me, sir - could you tell me where I can find Officer Janice White?

Cop: Uh - yeah, she's in the office down at the end of the hall, what do you want her for?

Leah: Personal reasons - I'm in a rush sir, so could you please excuse me

*Goes down to Janice's office and knocks on the door*

Janice: *from the office* Who's there!?

Pana: *from the office* Idiot! You're not meant to ask who's there, just let whoever it is in!

Janice: Oh, right. C'mon in!

*Leah enters the office*

Leah: Um...which one of you is Officer Janice White?

Janice: That would be me - so, what're you doing here, Goth girl?

Leah: Damn you Thrax for making me wear this outfit! Now everyone's callin' me 'Goth girl'!

Director: CUT! Leah, what are you doing?!

Leah: Giving out to that bastard, why?

Director: Oh for God's sake... *facepalm*

Thrax: I think the Goth girl look suits you anyway, baby. Purple and black - a great combination *smirks*

Leah: Grrrrrr....

Meeting Janice and Pana: Take 2

*Leah enters the police station*

Leah: Excuse me, sir - could you tell me where I can find Officer Janice White?

Cop: Uh - yeah, she's in the office down at the end of the hall, what do you want her for?

Leah: Personal reasons - I'm in a rush sir, so could you please excuse me

*Goes down to Janice's office and knocks on the door*

Janice: *from the office* Who's there!?

Pana: *from the office* Idiot! You're not meant to ask who's there, just let whoever it is in!

Janice: Oh, right. C'mon in!

*Leah enters the office*

Leah: Um...which one of you is Officer Janice White?

Janice: That would be me - so, what're you doing here, Goth girl?

Leah: Mayor Alanine sent me here - she had Carl call you remember?

Janice: Oh right, yeah, yeah I - Leah what the hell is that on your head?

Leah: *nervous* What's on my head?

Pana: Eww - it's a cockroach!

Leah: *freezes* Get. It. Off. Me. NOW!!

*Janice folds up a magazine and swats the cockroach off Leah's head*

Janice: There, the cockroach's gone

*they all suddenly hear a scream*

Director: What the hell was that?

Rex: Oh that's just Rachel - she screamed when she heard that there was a cockroach and ran off

Director: For God's sake, someone go get her back here this instant! *places a mug of coffee against his forehead* My poor nerves.....

Chief: ZOMG THAT'S MY COFFEE! *grabs coffee off Director* ....my coffee.....

Torture Scene #2: Take 1

Thrax: Bring her over here - right in front of that table

*Thrax pulls out a needle from his trench coat*

Leah: What's that for? What're you gonna do to me?!

Thrax: This needle holds a peculiar sort of venom inside it - don't worry baby, it ain't fatal

Leah: But you're gonna inject it in me aren't you?

Thrax: Of course

*Injects the needle into Leah's arm*

Leah: *screams with the pain* THRAX YOU FUCKIN' BASTARD! DON'T DO IT SO REALISTICALLY!

Thrax: Actually that time was on purpose

Leah: Why?

Thrax: Felt like it....

Leah: *punches Thrax on the arm*

Torture Scene #2: Take 2

Thrax: Bring her over here - right in front of that table

*Thrax pulls out a needle from his trench coat*

Leah: What's that for? What're you gonna do to me?!

Thrax: This needle holds a peculiar sort of venom inside it - don't worry baby, it ain't fatal

Leah: But you're gonna inject it in me aren't you?

Thrax: Of course

*Suddenly the song 'Poison' By Groove Coverage starts playing*

"I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison

Your poison running through my veins

You're poison

I don't wanna break these chains-"

Director: Turn that freakin' song off!

Roxy: Sorry - the song just really fitted into the moment

Director: *sighs*

Torture Scene #2: Take 3

Thrax: Bring her over here - right in front of that table

*Thrax pulls out a needle from his trench coat*

Leah: What's that for? What're you gonna do to me?!

Thrax: This needle holds a peculiar sort of venom inside it - don't worry baby, it ain't fatal

Leah: But you're gonna inject it in me aren't you?

Thrax: Of course

*Brings the needle down but accidently injects one of the germs holding Leah*

Germ: *howls in pain*

Thrax: Oh God - sorry 'bout that, man...

Director: *takes out a bottle of Brandy and starts drinking it*

Calling Carl: Take 1

*Leah dialls Carl's number and waits for an answer*

Carl: *on the phone* Hello?

Leah: Hi, is this the local Bondage shop?

Carl: *half-laughing* Why, yes it is. What can I do for you ma'am?

Leah: I'd like to place an order: My boyfriend needs to be punished *starts laughing*

Carl: *Also laughing over the phone* S-sure - what'll it be?

Leah: *laughs* Something deadly

Carl: Oh we've got a lot of those-

Director: Oh ha ha very funny, guys -

*Leah starts laughing, Carl is heard laughing over the phone*

Ozzy: *shocked* B-bondage shop? P-punished???!! *runs away*

Leah: ....it was a joke...

Act 15

Reunion: Take 1

*Ozzy catches Leah staring at him, not knowing it was her*

Ozzy: Oh, um - s-sorry, Miss...

Leah: Ozzy?

*Ozzy froze and turned to face her*

Leah: OZZY!

*Runs up to him and glomps him hard, making them both fall over the bridge and into the water*

Director: Cut! CUT! Leah, Ozzy - what are you doing now?

Leah: *laughs* Swimming, what does it look like we're doin'?

Ozzy: *starts splashing Leah with water, making her squeal*

Director: Oh for God's sake once they start, they won't stop

Chief: True, true - but until they do, LOOK OUT GUYS I'MA COMIN' IN!! *does a run and jump into the water, causing a mini tidal wave*

*Director gets splashed by the water*

Director *to Chief*: UH!! YOU BASTARD!! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!

Chief: Sorry... I think I'll pour some coffee into the water-

Ozzy: *threateningly* Do that and I'll kick your sorry ass outta here!

Chief: *puts his hands over his big behind*

Reunion: Take 2

*Ozzy catches Leah staring at him, not knowing it was her*

Ozzy: Oh, um - s-sorry, Miss...

Leah: Ozzy?

*Ozzy froze and turned to face her*

Leah: OZZY!

*Runs up to him and hugs him tightly*

Ozzy: *grins at Thrax* See, Thraxy boy - she wants moi!

Thrax: *holds up the script with it turned to Act 16 and waves it teasingly* Remember - Rape scene... *smirks*

Ozzy: *glares at him*

Reunion: Take 3

*Ozzy and Leah enter the room where Drix, Rex and Roxy were*

Roxy: Hey, Oz. Is that a new girlfriend?

Rex: Whoooo!

Ozzy: More like old girlfriend!

Drix: Whatever are you talking about, Ozzy?

*Leah removed her wig, Roxy pointed at her and screamed with delight, rushing up to give her a big hug*

Roxy: Oh my God! Oh my GOD! You're alive!! Ozzy was forever putting us down - telling us that you were dead and that he'd never find you! Oh dear God, I'm so happy you're alive!

Rex: Dear God, I think I'm getting a heart attack over here! This certainly is one big surprise!

Drix: Agreed! What happened to Thrax? Did you somehow gain great strength from all that grief and sadness over Osmosis' supposed death and killed the lethal virus?

Ozzy: Hallelujah if she actually did!!

*Thrax pulls out a lighting fixture and hurls it at Ozzy, knocking to the ground*

Ozzy: *from the ground*... Ow.....

Returning to Thrax: Take 1

*Thrax stood at the top of the stairs*

Leah: Hi Thrax

Thrax: Are you mocking me?

Leah: *snorts with laughter* Yes, pretty much

Director: Cut! Leah will you just focus

Leah: *laughs while covering her mouth* I can't help it

Director: Oh for God's sake - be serious for once

Leah: Ok, ok - I'll stop. Seriously

Returning to Thrax: Take 2

*Thrax stood at the top of the stairs*

Leah: Hi Thrax

Thrax: Are you mocking me?

Leah: *bursts out laughing* You looks so vicious! *continues laughing*

Thrax: *half-laughing* How is that funny?

Leah: I'm sorry - I'm just too giddy *laughs*

Director: *buries his face in his hands* Fetch me some Earl Grey tea, will you Rex?

Rex: Yes sir! *salutes him and runs off*

Returning to Thrax: Take 3

*Thrax stood at the top of the stairs*

Leah: Hi Thrax

Thrax: Are you mocking me?

Leah: No. Aren't you happy to see me?

Thrax: Where the fuck were you?

Leah: Look, I'm sorry Thrax. I was just staying over at a friend's house last night, it was just for this once seeing as I won't be in this body for long now. You're carrying out the plan today right?

Thrax: Yeah, I am. But that's not the point - the point is you disobeyed me again, baby. Didn't your punishment teach you anything at all?

*Leah placed a finger under his chin*

Leah: You can punish me tonight, baby... Just really 'punish' me...

Thrax: *smirks* Mmm - sounds like a challenge, baby. Bring it on... *walks closer to Leah, making her step back*

Leah: Uh - Th-Thrax - s-stay back - the script! Don't forget about your script! THRAX!

*she steps back too far and ends up in another room, Thrax closes the door behind him*

Director: *stares at the empty set* Uuuuuh - I think we should go out and take an early break until they come back... *Puts down his megaphone*

*Everyone mumbles in agreement*

Ozzy: *still staring open-mouthed at the empty set* No way.... he just took my woman!! Can you believe that fucker?

*They all leave Ozzy*

Ozzy: Hey! HEY! Wait up! *runs after them*

Meeting Toxin: Take 1

*Janice and Pana lead the others with Mayor Alanine down along the jail cells, Kayley stopped Janice*

Kayley: This one

Janice: You want her, Miss Mayor?!

Kayley: That's right

Janice: But - but how can you be so sure we can trust her?

Kayley: I'll just have to try and reason with her

*The she-virus turns her head slightly, staring at them from the corner of her eye*

Toxin: Miss Mayor...what a surprise...

Kayley: There's no time for fun and games, I need to ask you to do me a favour

Toxin: A favour?

*Rex nudges Ozzy, a little too hard though*

Ozzy: Ow! You bastard! *punches his arm*

Rex: Ozzy, stop it!

*they both start hitting each other pathetically*

Director: CUT! CUT!! STOP THAT YOU STUPID IDIOTS!!!

Rex: Stay out of these you sad poor freak!

Ozzy: We're settling this man to man!

Director: You're both acting like big babies!!

*Rex and Ozzy stop - feeling stupid*

Director: *sighs* I'll never work with Warner Brothers again... they attract the worse people....

Meeting Toxin: Take 2

Toxin: Miss Mayor...what a surprise...

Kayley: There's no time for fun and games, I need to ask you to do me a favour

Toxin: A favour?

*Rex nudges Ozzy*

Ozzy: What?

Rex: That she-virus just looks so familiar for some reason, do you think so too?

*Toxin spots Rex pointing at her*

Toxin: It's rude to point, honey...

Ozzy: Fuck no, it can't be!

Drix: Osmosis, is something wrong?

Ozzy: Don't you recognize her? That's Toxin, that viral bitch we fought in Frank a few years ago!

Toxin: Don't call me a viral bitch you mother fucker!

Ozzy: Mother fucker?! Now that's uncalled for! You wanna try sayin' that to my face, bitch?

Toxin: Is that some sort of threat, bastard?

Ozzy: Oh it's on!!

Director: *throws down his megaphone* Does anyone get on with each other here!?! Anyone at all!!??

Thrax: I get on very well with my baby here... *smirks at Leah*

Leah: *backs away* I don't think so....

Meeting Toxin: Take 3

*Rex nudges Ozzy*

Ozzy: What?

Rex: That she-virus just looks so familiar for some reason, do you think so too?

*Toxin spots Rex pointing at her*

Toxin: It's rude to point, honey...

Ozzy: Fuck no, it can't be!

Drix: Osmosis, is something wrong?

Ozzy: Don't you recognize her? That's Toxin, that viral bitch we fought in Frank a few years ago!

Drix: What! But - I thought we got rid of her!

Toxin: You! *rushes up to the bars, clutching them tightly* So we meet again, Jones

Ozzy: I thought you died, bitch!

Toxin: Of course not, you think I'd die that easily! I just made my way into this body instead - to find that immunities here weren't like the ones back in Frank City - so my killing days were over!

Ozzy: I'm glad the immunities stopped you - you look so good behind bars

Toxin: Why....it wasn't meant to be like this...I had everything planned out perfectly...and now I'm left to rot here...why....WHY!!

*Toxin slammed her knee against the bars, causing the gate to break free and smash straight into Ozzy, knocking him over*

Toxin: Oops - I guess I don't know my own strength

Drix: *bends over Ozzy* I think we need medical assistance again! Roxy do your thing!

Roxy: Right on it! *takes out cellphone*

Director: Wait hold up! Who's paying for all the times we needed medical assistance?

Drix: Well... we kinda charged it on your credit card

Roxy: Yeah I mean - you pay us so we felt like we didn't need to go through the trouble of using up our wages *runs off with Drix and the ambulance as they take Ozzy away*

Ambulance guy *to the Director*: Here's your bill sir

Director: *looks at bill and almost has a heart attack* !!! YOU BASTARDS!!!

Chief: Oh while we're confessing - I bought a year supply of coffee and charged it on you credit card *runs off*

Director: *hits himself on the head with the megaphone*

Act 16

The Meeting: Take 1

*Thrax goes inside the chamber, Toxin stares after him*

Leah: What are you doing?

Toxin: He's got a nice ass

Thrax: *from the sidelines* Oh you know it, babeh

Director: Cut! Thrax? Do you enjoy flirting with the women working on this set?

Thrax: When they're hot yes

Director: *sighs*

The Meeting: Take 2

*Thrax goes inside the chamber, Toxin stares after him*

Leah: What are you doing?

Toxin: He's got a nice ass

Leah: Oh please! Let's just go in..

*Toxin and Leah enter the chamber and take their seats at a large table*

Large virus *to Toxin*: What type of virus are you?

Toxin: What's it to ya?

Large virus: What about her? Is she with you?

Toxin: Yes. We're lesbians

Ozzy: *from the sidelines* Hey! I patched that like ages ago in Act 7 - that's all I'm sayin' so I was definitely right-

Director: JONES!!

Ozzy: I'll shut up now...

The Meeting: Take 3

*Toxin and Leah enter the chamber and take their seats at a large table*

Large virus *to Toxin*: What type of virus are you?

Toxin: What's it to ya?

Large virus: What about her? Is she with you?

Toxin: Yes. We're lesbians

Leah: Shhh! Shut up! They'll hear you!

Large virus: Lesbians?

Toxin: Yes. Want me to announce it out loud to y'all bone-headed viruses?

Leah: No - shut up!

Large virus: Sure, go ahead. Surprise us

Toxin: Your wish is my command then *clears her throat* Sorry for interrupting but I'd just like to announce that me and - this girl here - are lesbians. Isn't that right, Lee-Lee?

*Leah and Toxin burst out laughing simultaneously*

Director: Oh for the love of Frank *throws his megaphone down, too hard so that it crashes through the floor. Director looks down at the large opening in the ground* ....Ooops...

Chief: Maybe some coffee will repair that damage!

Director: *looks at the Chief* Which damage - my nerves or the freakin' floor boards?

Chief: Floor boards

Director: That settles it then - you're an idiot...

Rape scene: Take 1

Director: Now, I just need to let you guys know that this scene is a very difficult scene to do - I don't want any messing, got it?

Thrax: Oh yes ... *smirks evilly at Ozzy* This is gonna be your worse nightmare....

Ozzy: *whimpers*

Director: Ok - and action!

*Leah picks up a small rectangular object that was wedged in between the couch and the chair, it was her photo album*

Thrax: What's wrong? What's that you're holding?

Leah: You took this from my house, didn't you?

Thrax: So?

Leah: So? That's a big deal to me - why did you take it from my house?

Thrax: I forgot you didn't find out who killed your little friend...

Leah: Rachel? ...You're the one that killed, Rachel!?

Rachel: *from the sidelines* I'm not dead!

Director: CUT! Rachel! Didn't I say no disruptions?

Rachel: No, you said no messing-

Director: Well I meant no disruptions as well!!

Thrax: *glares at Rachel* Why'd you have to go and ruin the scene?

Rape scene: Take 2

*Leah picks up a small rectangular object that was wedged in between the couch and the chair, it was her photo album*

Thrax: What's wrong? What's that you're holding?

Leah: You took this from my house, didn't you?

Thrax: So?

Leah: So? That's a big deal to me - why did you take it from my house?

Thrax: I forgot you didn't find out who killed your little friend...

Leah: Rachel? ...You're the one that killed, Rachel!?

*Leah gritted her teeth and threw the photo album at Thrax, he caught it before it hit him on the face, Leah rushed to the door and Thrax ran in front of her, blocking the way*

Thrax: Where the fuck d'you think you're goin', baby?

Leah: As far away from you as possible you fucking bastard! *kicks him between his legs*

Thrax: FUCK!! *falls over in pain, breathing heavily* You weren't suppose to do that!!

Leah: Sorry, sorry - I got too into the moment and became desperate to escape...

Director: *takes out another bottle of Whisky*

Roxy: Where do you get all this alcohol?

Director: Oh I have a secret stash of alcohol at home and an emergency stash in my car...

Rape scene: Take 3

*Leah gritted her teeth and threw the photo album at Thrax, he caught it before it hit him on the face, Leah rushed to the door and Thrax ran in front of her, blocking the way*

Thrax: Where the fuck d'you think you're goin', baby?

Leah: As far away from you as possible you fucking bastard!

*Leah slaps him across the face. Thrax gritted his teeth and grabbed Leah's wrists, roughly pinning her down on the ground*

Leah: Get off of me! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!

*Thrax hits her across the face*

Thrax: You can just shut the fuck up, bitch! You don't fucking dare try and do something stupid like that to me - the result is never pretty for you baby

*he got out his chain and tugged it, he wrapped it around her neck and tightened it, causing her to choke a little. Thrax then took out a black cloth from his pocket and gagged Leah. As he was about to remove the dress - Ozzy came charging up from off the set*

Ozzy: NOOOOOO!! I won't let you go that far!! *grabs Leah and runs off set and out the building* FREEDOM!! AHAHAAHAHAHAHAA!!

Director: OZZY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOZZZYYYYYYY!!!!

Rex: What the hell has gotten into him?

Roxy: He just couldn't bear to see Leah get raped....

Thrax confronts Kayley: Take 1

*Kayley hears footsteps coming up from behind her*

Thrax: Well, well, well - Miss Mayor... it's so nice to finally meet you

Kayley: So you're Thrax, right? The lethal virus out to kill Shane?

Thrax: Did my baby tell you that?

Kayley: That doesn't concern you

Thrax: So she did, didn't she? - I'm not stupid you know, that bitch thought she had me fooled - I knew from the first time she went down here that she'd do something like this...betray me like before! *extends his deadly claw*

Jacob: *from the sidelines* If you hurt her with that damn claw of yours I'll kick your ass so hard you'll land in the middle of next week!!

Thrax *to Jacob*: Wanna try doin' that?

Jacob: *chickens out*

Thrax: That's what I thought

Thrax confronts Kayley: Take 2

*Kayley hears footsteps coming up from behind her*

Thrax: Well, well, well - Miss Mayor... it's so nice to finally meet you

Kayley: So you're Thrax, right? The lethal virus out to kill Shane?

Thrax: Did my baby tell you that?

Kayley: That doesn't concern you

Thrax: So she did, didn't she? - I'm not stupid you know, that bitch thought she had me fooled - I knew from the first time she went down here that she'd do something like this...betray me like before! *extends his deadly claw*

Kayley: I wouldn't blame her! I'd hate having to follow orders from some God damn virus like you-

*Thrax grabs Kayley by the front of her shirt and pulls her up to him*

Thrax: That's tough talk - for a little bitch like you!

Jacob: *from the sidelines* Kayley is not a bitch you bastard!!

Director: Oh for fuck's sake!! WILL YOU SHUT UP!!

Jacob: *gasps* Director! You swore again!!

Director's mom: *comes in again* HENRY!!!

Director: *squeaks* NO!! MOMMY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!! HE MADE ME DO IT!!!

*Director's mom drags the Director out of the room by the ear once more*

Thrax confronts Kayley: Take 3

*Kayley hears footsteps coming up from behind her*

Thrax: Well, well, well - Miss Mayor... it's so nice to finally meet you

Kayley: So you're Thrax, right? The lethal virus out to kill Shane?

Thrax: Did my baby tell you that?

Kayley: That doesn't concern you

Thrax: So she did, didn't she? - I'm not stupid you know, that bitch thought she had me fooled - I knew from the first time she went down here that she'd do something like this...betray me like before! *extends his deadly claw*

Kayley: I wouldn't blame her! I'd hate having to follow orders from some God damn virus like you-

*Thrax grabs Kayley by the front of her shirt and pulls her up to him*

Thrax: That's tough talk - for a little bitch like you!

*He throws Kayley down on the ground*

Thrax: So... you're planning to get rid of me aren't you? Stop me from taking down this body?

*He kicked Kayley in her side, causing her to crash back first into the desk*

Thrax: I took down Frank...and I'll definitely take his pretty little daughter down too!

Kayley: You didn't take down Frank...

Thrax: What?

Kayley: He's not dead -

Thrax: What the fuck are you talking about, bitch?

Kayley: Osmosis saved him - just when you thought you'd killed him - Frank's alive and you failed!

*Thrax kicked Kayley in her side, making her crash against the window this time*

Jacob: *from the sidelines* NOOOOO MY POOR KAYLEY HOW COULD YOU! I SHALL DIE TOO!! *throws himself out of the window*

Kayley: *blinks* What the hell just happened there? I didn't even die...

Thrax: Who cares? At least the bastard's dead now... *looks down from the window* Oh no... he's still ALIVE!!

Drix: Roxy - you know what to do

Roxy: Right on it, Drix! *takes out cellphone once again*

Director: I can't afford all these accidents....

Chief: I can't afford all these calories in coffee...

Director: *looks at Chief's large body* It's a little late for that so I wouldn't worry about calories if I were you...

Chief: *smiles* YAY!!

The Hypothalamus: Take 1

*Leah, Roxy and Toxin were all waiting down at the Hypothalamus*

Toxin: I've never actually been to the Hypothalamus before

Roxy: Well hopefully this'll be a great experience for you - are you impressed by it?

Toxin: It's pretty amazing I guess... but what does this Thrax guy want from the Hypothalamus? What's so important here?

Leah: He takes the DNA from the Hypothalamus - causing the temperature to rise to one-hundred and eight degrees

Toxin: Deadly...

Leah: I know

*They heard abrupt screams from behind them and one of the cells that worked in the Hypothalamus was thrown across the room at the container, they watched him being electrocuted and dropped dead before their eyes. A low humming was heard from behind them*

Thrax: Hello ladies - surprised to see me?

Roxy: *doesn't reply but is instead bobbing her head along to something and dancing quietly to herself*

Thrax: ......what are you doing?

Roxy: *doesn't listen and starts singing along to the song she's listening to* "If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home!"

Director: Roxy! ROXY!

Roxy: *takes off earphones* What?

Director: *silently fuming* Just. Focus!

Roxy: Ok, sir... *puts earphones back on*

The Hypothalamus: Take 2

*Leah, Roxy and Toxin were all waiting down at the Hypothalamus*

Toxin: I've never actually been to the Hypothalamus before

Roxy: Well hopefully this'll be a great experience for you - are you impressed by it?

Toxin: It's pretty amazing I guess... but what does this Thrax guy want from the Hypothalamus? What's so important here?

Leah: He takes the DNA from the Hypothalamus - causing the temperature to rise to one-hundred and eight degrees

Toxin: Deadly...

Leah: I know

*They heard abrupt screams from behind them and one of the cells that worked in the Hypothalamus was thrown across the room at the container, they watched him being electrocuted and dropped dead before their eyes. A low humming was heard from behind them*

Thrax: Hello ladies - surprised to see me?

Roxy: Hell no - this wasn't supposed to happen!

Thrax: Aww - have I ruined your little plan? You can thank your Mayor for that

Roxy: *pulls out her gun* Let her go!

Thrax: Why? So you can shoot me? Go ahead...shoot me..

Leah: Thrax, please just let her go-

Thrax: Shut up!

Roxy: *starts singing again* "Shut up. Just shut up, shut up!" *starts laughing*

*cast and crew all laugh*

Director: Oh for God's sake, Roxy will you just focus for once!

Roxy: Sorry, I just had that sudden urge when Thrax said "Shut up" - it seemed perfect!

Director: Will you all just resist the urge to annoy me just for once?

Chief: You can try telling that to me about coffee..... soooooo tempting....

The Hypothalamus: Take 3

*They heard abrupt screams from behind them and one of the cells that worked in the Hypothalamus was thrown across the room at the container, they watched him being electrocuted and dropped dead before their eyes. A low humming was heard from behind them*

Thrax: Hello ladies - surprised to see me?

Roxy: Hell no - this wasn't supposed to happen!

Thrax: Aww - have I ruined your little plan? You can thank your Mayor for that

Roxy: *pulls out her gun* Let her go!

Thrax: Why? So you can shoot me? Go ahead...shoot me..

Leah: Thrax, please just let her go-

Thrax: Shut up!

Roxy: What would make you let her go?

Thrax: What the hell kinda question is that?

Leah: We just want you to let her go, Thrax!

Thrax: Let me get what I came for and I'll gladly let the bitch go. 'R else I'll be sure that her death's gonna be a messy one...

Leah: Ok then *steps aside*

Thrax: *smirks* Wise choice, baby

*extends his claw and rams it into the container, sabotaging it - Thrax reached in and grabbed the DNA, he placed it into one of the empty slits in the chain around his wrist. Roxy suddenly ran up to him, getting ready to punch him, she then stopped an inch away from him*

Thrax: ....what?

Roxy: Gosh you're tall....

Thrax: I know I am

Roxy: *pauses* Are you a brief or boxers kind of guy?

Thrax: *smiles* Boxers, baby

Director: *buries his face in his hands*

Rex: *from the sidelines* Hey! I'm a Boxers guy too!!

Roxy: Sorry honey - I couldn't resist asking *blushes with embarrassment*

Rex: *folds his arms*

Confrontation: Take 1

*Carl, Jacob and Pana were the first ones to reach the uvula*

Carl: Where the hell is he?

Pana: He's probably on his way here -

Jacob: *whimpers* A l-lethal v-virus has my l-love held c-captive??

Carl: Oh for God's sake, get a grip you moron!

Jacob: You can't stop me from worrying about my beloved Mayor Alanine!

Carl: True - but I can just kill you right now and that way you won't be doing anything!

Kayley: *from the sidelines* Yes! Go ahead!

Director: Kayley! I'm surprised at you! You're the only one that hasn't interrupted in this crew!

Kayley: There's a first time for everything dumbass!!

Director: *sulks*

Chief: I haven't interrupted you know!

Director: Yeah but you're as annoying as anything...

Chief: *cries*

Confrontation: Take 2

*Carl, Jacob and Pana were the first ones to reach the uvula*

Carl: Where the hell is he?

Pana: He's probably on his way here -

Jacob: *whimpers* A l-lethal v-virus has my l-love held c-captive??

Carl: Oh for God's sake, get a grip you moron!

Jacob: You can't stop me from worrying about my beloved Mayor Alanine!

Carl: True - but I can just kill you right now and that way you won't be doing anything!

Kayley: Why can't you kill him now?

Director: Kayley stop that!

Kayley: Sorry...

Confrontation: Take 3

Director: Let's start from when Thrax enters - ACTION!

Thrax: Looking for me?

Jacob: Miss Mayor!

Carl: Let her go!

Thrax: You want her so bad - you can have the bitch, I don't need her-

*Thrax pushed Kayley forwards, she fell to the ground, still feeling quite weak. Carl rushed up to her and helped her up, Ozzy glared at Thrax*

Ozzy: Leah too!

Thrax: You really think I'd do that? You must be so fucking stupid - wherever I go, she comes with me! Besides, after that sneaky thing she did - I have a lot of unfinished business to take care of with her...

Ozzy: You fucking let her go, asshole!!

Thrax: Try and make me...

Drix: Oh please, let me help you with that!

*fires an ice-substance and accidently freezes Leah instead of Thrax's hand*

Drix: Whoops! Sorry! I wasn't aiming correctly there...

Thrax: *looks at the frozen Leah* That doesn't look comfortable*

Director: *facepalm* Thrax just go thaw her out quickly...

Roxy: In the meantime can we have marshmallows?

Rex: That sounds like a great idea!!

Carl: *takes out a bag of marshmallows* I have some here!

Roxy: Yum!

Chief: Could we have coffee too? .....coffee and marshmallows: A great combinaton...

Act 17

Visiting Thrax: Take 1

*Leah entered the police station and walked up to the police officer at the desk*

Cop: Can I help you, miss?

Leah: Um, yes - uh... can you escort me to the cell where - um - the lethal virus is kept?

Cop: Um - which one is that, miss? We have a section for the most dangerous viruses - was there one in particular?

Leah: Yes - uh - um, he goes by the name of Thrax - recently came in here-

Cop: Say no more, I know the one you're talking about... *pauses* Are you one of the people that helped stop him?

Leah: Um, yes - I am - could you escort me to his cell please?

Cop: O-of course, miss, right this way

*Leads Leah down a corridor towards the room where Thrax was kept*

Cop: Well, here he is - I'll go in first and tell him he's got a visitor - you wait here for a second

*Unlocks the door and finds that Thrax isn't in the room, but finds Sora in there instead*

Cop: Uuuuuuuuum..... who're you?

Sora: *pauses* I'm Sora... I'm the keyblade wielder... or at least I think I am - I don't even think I'm human now because I'm apparently classified as a virus in this world!

Leah: Omigosh!! SORA!!! *fangirl squeal*

Cop: How do you know all these people?

Leah: I went through an obsession at one point, ok?

Roxy: *from the sidelines* SORA!! *squeals*

Sora: *grins* I have fangirls? Sweet... beat that Riku...

Director: Wait wait, HOLD UP! Where the hell is Thrax?

Drix: He went off with your bottle of Whisky for a five minute break - he thought maybe Sora might be able to take his place during his short absence...

Director: Did that idiot really think a human teenager could take his freaking place??? He's gotta be sick in the head or something...

Thrax: *throws the empty bottle of whisky at the Director*

Director: OW!! Where the hell did you come from?

Thrax: I came back from my break you moron... did the kid do good?

Cop: He didn't do anything!!

Thrax: Figures... I forgot to give him my script

Sora: Yeah that could have helped... do I get paid?

Director: No

Sora: *frowns* You sir, are not nice

Director: Whatever

Sora: *pauses* ...How did I get here anyway?

Director: How am I suppose to know that?

Sora: Oh hold up now I remember - it was Donald's fault.... where is he anyway?

Drix: Oh! Donald Duck is here too?

Sora: Yup! And Goofy! Us guys go way back, y'know?

Drix: How intriguing!

Director: *annoyed* Does it even matter anyway!

Sora: I need to find them... and kick Donald's ass seeing as it's his fault that I'm a fugitive in this world! I've never been a criminal in any world I've been!! Why does this have to be any different!! *gets all tearful*

Roxy: NOOOO! Don't cry Sora! It's Thrax's fault too y'know!

Leah: Yeah, if he hadn't made you his replacement you wouldn't be in this mess!

*Roxy and Leah start comforting Sora and make a big fuss of him*

Director: Oh for God's sake... *facepalm*

Chief: Do you think Sora might like some coffee? ....coffee...

Visiting Thrax: Take 2

*Leah entered the police station and walked up to the police officer at the desk*

Cop: Can I help you, miss?

Leah: Um, yes - uh... can you escort me to the cell where - um - the lethal virus is kept?

Cop: Um - which one is that, miss? We have a section for the most dangerous viruses - was there one in particular?

Leah: Yes - uh - um, he goes by the name of Thrax - recently came in here-

Cop: Say no more, I know the one you're talking about... *pauses* Are you one of the people that helped stop him?

Leah: Um, yes - I am - could you escort me to his cell please?

Cop: O-of course, miss, right this way

*Leads Leah down a corridor towards the room where Thrax was kept*

Cop: Well, here he is - I'll go in first and tell him he's got a visitor - you wait here for a second

*unlocks the door and goes into the room*

Cop: You have a visitor...

*Leah walked into the room*

Cop: If you like, I could stay here with you y'know, just in case things get ugly...

Leah: Oh no, it's fine really, I'll be ok by myself

Cop: O-ok - I'll be back in twenty minutes... are you sure you'll be ok, miss?

Leah: Yes - I'll be fine

*Cop leaves the room and locks the door behind him*

Leah: Thrax? ...It's me, Leah...

*no response*

Leah: Thrax? *reaches out to tap his shoulder*

Thrax: Don't touch me

Leah: ...I just came to see you before I go back to Frank tonight...

Thrax: You loved it didn't you... you loved the fact that the rest of you succeeded in stopping me from killing Shane - and betrayed me!

Leah: I didn't betray you. I never wanted to kill Shane!

Thrax: You betrayed me back in FRANK!

*He got up off the chair and threw it aside, a little too hard so that it crashed into the bed and broke, causing the one of the legs of the bed to brake as well*

Thrax: Oops

Director: *tugging at his hair* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! YOU IDIOT!!

Thrax: What's your problem?

Director: Those props cost money!!

Thrax: *picking up the broken chair* Warner Brothers props suck you know that?

Director: *bangs his head against the megaphone and cries* I hate my life...

Thrax: I hate you life too

Visiting Thrax: Take 3

*Leah entered the police station and walked up to the police officer at the desk*

Cop: Can I help you, miss?

Leah: Um, yes - uh... can you escort me to the cell where - um - the lethal virus is kept?

Cop: Um - which one is that, miss? We have a section for the most dangerous viruses - was there one in particular?

Leah: Yes - uh - um, he goes by the name of Thrax - recently came in here-

Cop: Say no more, I know the one you're talking about... *pauses* Are you one of the people that helped stop him?

Leah: Um, yes - I am - could you escort me to his cell please?

Cop: O-of course, miss, right this way

*Leads Leah down a corridor towards the room where Thrax was kept*

Cop: Well, here he is - I'll go in first and tell him he's got a visitor - you wait here for a second

*Opens the door and finds Riku there*

Cop: .....And who are you?

Riku: ...er, I'm Riku...

Roxy: Omigosh! You're Riku! Sora's friend!

Riku: Ah so you know him... where'd he go?

*Sora appears beside Roxy along with Donald and Goofy*

Sora: Oh - hey Riku! When'd you get here?

Riku: About an hour ago - I ended up in this room...

Sora: That's the same room I was in not too long ago!

Riku: Was there a red dude in here?

Sora: Yup! Did he tell you to stay here?

Riku: No, he went off somewhere

Director: Where? Cuz a Director needs to know these things!

*Thrax comes back holding a full bottle of vodka*

Ozzy: Where the hell have you been?

Thrax: Raiding the Director's secret stash of alcohol

Director: Only NOW it's no longer a secret! *gets angry*

Thrax: *takes a swig from the bottle* You really outta find a better hiding place

Director: Grrrrrrr....YOU!

Riku *to Thrax*: Hey, can I have some of that?

Thrax: Sure! *passes the bottle to Riku*

Roxy: Hey! Aren't you, like, sixteen or something?

Riku: Yeah, so?

Sora: *shocked* Riku! You never told me you drank alcohol!? *pauses* Can I try some?

Riku: And now you know why... *walks off*

Sora: ....so is that a yes or a no?

Goofy: Sora! Don't be influenced by Riku!

Donald: Alcohol is bad for you!

Sora: I know but... Riku's cool and I so wanna be as cool as him!

Drix: *sighs* Teenagers are just so ridiculous at times...

Back in Frank: Take 1

*Back in Frank*

Rex: Aaahh! We're finally home!

Roxy: It's great to be back!

Ozzy *to Leah*: We've gotta get up to Cerrebellum Hall so that you can meet with Tom Colonic

Leah: Tom Colonic? Why?

Ozzy: Oh right, you don't know - Tom's the new Mayor, Mayor Phlegmming finally got what was coming to him - he works in the bowels now!

Leah: Oh! That's great! C'mon, let's go!

*They arrived at Cerrebellum Hall and made their way up to the Mayor's office*

Tom Colonic: *answers the door* Oh, Officer Jones, it's nice to see you again

Ozzy: Mr Mayor - this is Leah Estrogen, Mayor Phlegmming's former secretary!

Tom Colonic: Ah, so you were the one that was missing, right? Ozzy informed me of your absence - it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Estrogen. I'd be happy to get you your job back as my secretary, if you don't mind

Leah: Not at all, Mr Colonic! That'll be great!

Tom Colonic: I'm happy to hear that, Miss Estrogen - you start tomorrow, I think you guys need a break from that rescue mission...

Leah: You knew about that?

Tom Colonic: Mr Jones has been going on about your absence for quite some time - he begged me to let him leave Frank to come find you

Leah *to Ozzy*: Really, now?

Ozzy: *blushes* Of course I did! I couldn't have just left you there now could I?

Leah: *kisses him* You're really one cell of a guy, Osmosis

Ozzy: *grins* See that, Thrax? My girl wants me. Not you. ME! AHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!! IN YO FACE THRAX!!!

Thrax: *extends his claw and cuts some random rope hanging near him, the stage curtains fall down on top of Ozzy*

Ozzy: *from underneath the curtains* Yo, ok - THAT was foul play!

Director: THRAX! Don't touch the ropes! NEVER touch the ropes!

Thrax: Whatever...

Chief: Wow... you're protective over the ropes, y'know that Director?

Director: I'm tryin' to save my job ok?

Chief: It's just like me and coffee!

Director: WILL you just - ... never mind!

Chief: *smiles obliviously*

Back in Frank: Take 2

Director: OK, let's just start from when you guys leave Colonic's office-

Tom Colonic: Now that's Mr Colonic

Director: Whatever let's just do the scene - ACTION!

Toxin: I'm gonna make your supervising days hell, Jones

Ozzy: I'd like to see you try! I'm thinkin' right now that I need a new nickname - something like the 'Toxinnator' since I, like, so beat you back then!

Toxin: Cell's luck, Jones, cell's luck

Drix: Oh dear, this is the start of one crazy friendship I guess

Ozzy: I guess so, are you jealous, Drips?

Drix: No and for goodness sake it's 'Drix'! Oh - CUT! I'm sorry, I just can't work like this! The many times my name has been said incorrectly has really annoyed me! I'll be in my dressing room *walks off set*

Director: Drix! DRIX! GET BACK HERE! And I'm the only one who yells cut around here! It's my stinking job to say that! I'm the notpaidenough Director around here!!

Thrax: Oh - I definitely get the 'notpaidenough' part seeing as you're poor and all

Director: *Throws down his megaphone, silently fuming*

Back in Frank: Take 3

Toxin: I'm gonna make your supervising days hell, Jones

Ozzy: I'd like to see you try! I'm thinkin' right now that I need a new nickname - something like the 'Toxinnator' since I, like, so beat you back then!

Toxin: Cell's luck, Jones, cell's luck

Drix: Oh dear, this is the start of one crazy friendship I guess

Ozzy: I guess so, are you jealous, Drips?

Drix: No and for goodness sake it's 'Drix'!

Ozzy *to Leah*: I'm so glad you're back, baby..

Leah: It feels great to be back...

Rex: So what do we do now? Walk off into the sunset?

Roxy: I know what I'm gonna do anyway...

Ozzy: What's that?

*suddenly the song 'Keys to the Kingdom' by Group 1 Crew starts playing*

Director: *facepalm* Not again...

All five of them: *start singing along to the song*

"You got the keys inside this kingdom,

lift up your head it's only begun,

keep holding on and you'll see the son

everybody sing it now everybody sing it now!"

Sora: Awesome! I wanna join in!! *starts singing along too*

Back in Frank: Take 4

Toxin: I'm gonna make your supervising days hell, Jones

Ozzy: I'd like to see you try! I'm thinkin' right now that I need a new nickname - something like the 'Toxinnator' since I, like, so beat you back then!

Toxin: Cell's luck, Jones, cell's luck

Drix: Oh dear, this is the start of one crazy friendship I guess

Ozzy: I guess so, are you jealous, Drips?

Drix: No and for goodness sake it's 'Drix'!

Ozzy *to Leah*: I'm so glad you're back, baby..

Leah: It feels great to be back...

Rex: So what do we do now? Walk off into the sunset?

Roxy: I know what I'm gonna do anyway...

Ozzy: What's that?

Roxy: Drive your car and rape your radio with Nickelback CDs!

*Suddenly the 'Caramelldansen' song starts playing*

Director: What the hell?? Oh for God's sake not AGAIN!!

Roxy: W00t! C'mon let's do the Caramelldansen! *starts dancing*

Rex: Yeah! *joins in*

Sora: Me too!

Donald & Goofy: And us!

Thrax: This is embarrassing, if anyone needs me I'll be raiding the Director's alcohol stash again... *walks away*

Ozzy: What's a 'Caramelldansen'?

Chief: Coffeedansen!! *starts dancing too with his mug of coffee*

Song:

Dansa med oss

Klappa era händer

Gjör som vi gjör

Ta nagrå steg at vanster

Lyssna och lar

Missa inte chansen

Nu ar vi har med

Caramelldansen!

O-o-oa-oa

O-o-oa-oa - ao

O-o-oa-oa

O-o-oa-oa - ao

Jacob: *wails dramatically* I don't understand a word the song's saying!!

Carl: Then go away... *joins in with Kayley*

Jacob: Aaaahh, Kayley looks so adorable when she's dancing *smiles dreamily*

Director: *starts crying* My job as a Director has officially ruined my life!! I'm gonna go call Warner Brothers and tell them to get themselves another Director cuz I need a small break from all this and a trip to the Psychologist!

*Everyone ignores the Director and continues having fun without him*

No one was hurt during the making of this film, as well as coffee (Chief made sure of that). However, the Director had called his local Psychologist Dr. Johnson and is currently getting medical help. He is no longer working as a Director so Warner Brothers have hired a new one, I'm sure the actors will take good care of this one... very good care! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! :D And that's a rap!

~ Kisa

P.S. Chief is also currently on a strict no-coffee diet.