Author’s Note: A big thanks to everyone who’s so patiently waiting for updates; my apologies for the delays between chapters. It’s been like pulling teeth, and it was getting a bit long, so I’m splitting this night into two chapters. Thanks to my Whip-Cracker for suggesting it. I hope y’all can forgive me for leaving you hanging, but with any luck, I’ll have the rest of the night up really soon.

I obviously don’t have any right whatsoever to be writing this; the characters and dialogue belong to Ms. Harris and Mr. Ball.

Night Twelve, Part One

I carefully adjusted my cuffs as I waited at the front of the old church. The dark wood reflected the light from dozens of burning beeswax candles, and their sweet scent mingled pleasantly with the oiled wood. My gold cufflinks had belonged to my father, the engraved C nearly invisible after so many years of use.

“Nervous?” Eric whispered.

“No,” I quickly replied. “Just thinking I’m the most fortunate man to ever walk the earth.”

He laughed. “You are one lucky son of a bitch, I’ll give you that. Of course, she could always change her mind. She has about five minutes to see the error of her ways and choose me instead.”

“Not a chance,” I said, smiling at him.

He straightened my tie, his hands lingering on my lapel. “You can’t blame me for trying just one last time.” He leaned over and kissed me on each cheek before turning me to face the rows of pews.

Lorena sat in the front. She wore the emerald gown she’d worn the night she released me, her fingers clutching the necklace I’d given her. I felt no malice or ill-will from her, only a resigned sadness. Caroline was there too, looking as beautiful as she had the day I’d left for war. She smiled serenely, holding baby Thomas, who was sleeping, with Sarah nestled by her side. Rebecca sat with her slender brown arms around Robert and my sister Sarah, both young children. Sam pulled at his shirt collar, obviously uncomfortable in a blazer and tie. Sookie’s friends from Bon Temps, Tara and Lafayette and Hoyt and Arlene, chatted amongst themselves. Adele was there with Jason and a handsome old man in a black suit with flowing blond hair I didn’t recognize. Hadley held Sophie-Ann's hand. Malcolm sprawled out in the pew looking bemused, Diane fidgeting and scowling next to him. Pam was rolling her eyes and making faces at Eric from the back.

At the minister’s nod, Pam opened the doors at the back of the church, and there stood Sookie. She was radiant in a simple, ivory silk gown. I could tell by the soft crinkling sound that there would be petticoats to unfasten when we were alone, and even though I stood in a church, I couldn’t help but feel aroused at the prospect. I heard Eric suck in his breath as she walked towards me, and Lorena began to silently weep, staining her handkerchief with blood, but Sookie had eyes only for me. And then she was there, right there in front of me. She put her hot hand into mine, and she smiled, and she was mine. I knew with a certainty I’d never experienced before that I would love her, and only her, forever.

***

I woke with tears stinging my eyes, and I didn’t know if they were happy tears left-over from my dream, or tears of sadness because the cruel reality was that what I saw could never happen.

Two weeks earlier, before I walked into Merlotte’s that fateful night, I never would’ve imagined I was capable of feelings like this. Before Sookie, I’d come to a kind of contentment in my life, and I’d settled into a comfortable pattern of wandering and study and research, but I wasn’t alive like I was with her. In such a short amount of time, she’d awaken me. Sookie, my miracle, who could raise the dead. I thought that part of me had drowned long ago in a sea of blood and resentment and cruelty, never to seen again.

All these emotions were unsettling and disjointed, and I felt as out of control as a newborn vampire. But one thought remained, shining like a beacon through my confusion: I loved her. I didn’t want to be her first; I needed to know that I was her only.

My phone vibrated to alert me I had a waiting message, and I held my breath, hoping it was from Sookie. Instead, it was a text from Eric. He was old enough to wake before sunset, and while he had to remain out of the light, he used the time to his advantage. There was a time, not long ago, when a text from Eric was as close as I could come to happy anticipation. “You will call immediately,” it read.

I let the air out of my lungs in a sigh and deleted it, and I smiled when I saw a handwritten note sitting on top of a basket of clean and folded laundry in the front entryway: “Bill, thanks for staying over. I called the dry-cleaners for you, and someone’s going to stay late tonight, if you can get there right away. Her name is Angela. I’ll see you after work.”

Her handwriting was neat and utilitarian, none of the extra swoops or swirls so many women are fond of. I held the paper to my nose and smelled her fingers along with the cheap ink and the chemicals in the paper and the detergent from the clean laundry.

My phone vibrated with another text from Eric: “You’re awake: CALL.”

I deleted that one too, and quickly got into my car and drove to the one dry cleaner in town. There was a teenaged girl waiting behind the counter, my few things hanging on the rack next to her. She was hunched over the tiny screen of her phone, her fingers flying as she typed with the numbers.

“Oh wow,” Angela gushed when I walked in. Before I could react, she’d held up the phone and clicked a photo. “Cool. You don’t mind, do you?” She indicated the phone. “Proof. No one at school’s going to believe this…”

“Don’t I appear the same as other people?”

“Sure,” she nodded. “But you’re not.” Her face lit up. “Can I have one with your fangs?”

“Thank you for staying open tonight,” I said, ignoring her request. My phone vibrated a third time. “Excuse me,” I said, glancing at it. Eric again: “Check mate.”

She shrugged. “You know, everyone says you’re the one killing people.”

“Do they?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Is it you? You can tell me.”

“Why are you alone with a potential killer?” I asked.

“I know Sookie’s crazy and all...” I glared at her, and she quickly smiled. “Not bad crazy, geesh!” she nervously said. “She’s just different, but always been real nice to me. She wouldn’t have asked if you were dangerous.”

I nodded. Once again, Sookie had paved the way with townspeople who otherwise wouldn’t accept me.

“Would you like to set up an account?” Angela asked, suddenly business-like. “We can bill you.”

“That would be helpful,” I said. “Thank you.”

“We deliver, too, if you’d prefer, or I’d be happy to stay open for you from time to time.”

She winked, and I stared blandly at the girl, who leaned across the counter, her tiny breasts clearly visible from her low-cut top. I knew Sookie would run errands for me during the day if I asked, but I didn’t want her to feel like my employee. She’d already done so much. I gave the girl the necessary information and took my clothes.

“I’ll see you around, Mr. Compton,” the girl said. “I hope.” She smiled at me and batted her long eyelashes, and I pretended not to notice.

“Good evening,” I said as I left the shop.

***

As I opened my front door and pocketed my keys, I smelled a vampire and heard music coming from the upstairs bathroom. I laid my dry cleaning over the banister and silently flashed upstairs. I prowled outside the door, listening and smelling intently, and then I threw it open, ready to attack. When I saw Eric sprawled in the tub, I immediately went from predatory to irritation. He’d lit candles instead of turning on the lights, and the room was warm and damp, his musky scent heavy in the heat.

“I texted you three times,” he said, not opening his eyes. “Why didn’t you reply?”

“I hate using the number keys to type,” I answered. That much, at least, was true. Eric snorted. “What are you listening to?” I asked.

“It’s from my younger days,” he elusively said. “It’s really quite beautiful if you know Old Swedish.” He didn’t move, and he didn’t look at me. “I have a favor to ask of you,” he finally said.

“A favor or an order?” I asked.

He looked at me, his eyes the color of a stormy sea. “Depends on how you look at it,” he said. “Honestly, did you think you could keep her to yourself?” I didn’t answer, and he inhaled deeply. “Her scent is everywhere in this house. I do believe you’ve fucked her in this bathroom.” We stared at each other, neither blinking. “Would you like me to fuck you?”

“That will not be necessary.”

“I can, you know. Not only could I order you to yield as your Sheriff, and some Sheriffs do require… services… from their subordinates. Have you ever had such a Sheriff?”

“No,” I answered.

“Of course not,” he said with a smile. He appraised me as if I were on the auction block. “I could physically force you, if I so desired.”

“What do you want, Eric?”

“The girl,” he said.

“Can we please leave Sookie out of this?” I said.

“Given your inability to lie convincingly,” he continued. “I believe you when you say she’s not psychic. But she’s something. I’m going to guess that she’s a mind-reader.”

“Eric,” I said.

“I don’t know how you managed to stumble across such a valuable commodity,” he said, as if I hadn’t spoken. “Especially so quickly after moving here. That's quite a coincidence." He looked at me and waited for a response, but I remained silent. "Bon Temps is part of my Area, and you are under my authority. By extension, she is my asset to use as I see fit.”

“Eric,” I repeated. “Why are you doing this?”

“Me?” he said, his eyes wide and innocent. “Why am I doing this? I warned you, Bill. I warned you not to fuck with me. You’ve forced my hand.” He paused, the silence between us unusually heavy and awkward. “Fuck,” he snarled as he smacked the surface of the water, sending droplets across the room. “Why are you doing this? Is it for her? For this girl?” Once again, I didn’t answer. “There are two conclusions for bonded humans, and only two. Trust someone who’s lived considerably longer than you have and who’s tried it all and then some.” He held up two fingers as if I were a simpleton child. “One, said bonded can be turned. Are you planning on turning her?”

“No!” I forcefully replied.

“Two,” he said, ignoring my outburst. “It ends badly. Good god, Bill, she’s human! She was a virgin when you brought her to Fangtasia, don’t lie badly and tell me she wasn’t, and from the smell of it, she certainly isn’t now. You’ve completely ruined her for human men.”

“Eric,” I said, wanting to defend myself.

“I’m not finished,” he interrupted. “From personal experience, I can tell you bonded-human relationships don’t work. Too much power is entrusted to a fragile, short-lived, mortal. Have you thought about the fact she’s human? That it would be easy for you to accidentally kill her?”

“Every night.”

“Well, think about it again, goddamnit. Do you want to bear that particular burden, along with the weight of the entire fucking world that you insist on lugging around?” He shook his head. “The humans will never accept you because you are vampire, and vampires will never accept you if you’re fool enough to be serious about your human. You’ve never claimed a human, Bill. Why now? Why this girl?”

“Times are changing,” I stated. “You can’t know what the future holds.”

“This isn’t like you, Bill. With all that’s going on, you’re making a huge mistake, and you don’t make mistakes.”

“I’ve made plenty of mistakes,” I quietly reminded him.

Eric snorted. “Good god, you’re tedious. So intent on torturing yourself, you self-righteous prick. Did it ever occur to you to pick up the fucking phone after you’d learned of the nest-fire?”

I hung my head. “No.”

“No,” he sneered. “Never mind it was your duty to inform your Sheriff. Never mind that it would’ve been helpful for you to investigate as quickly as possible, before the humans contaminated the scene. But did you ever think…” Eric’s voice trailed off, and I stood silently before him. “I would’ve felt it if you’d been harmed, but did you think to call?”

“No,” I repeated.

“You were probably too busy fucking your little sweet-smelling telepath.”

“Eric,” I began again.

“What will you do?” He interrupted, his voice rising again. “Have her grow to hate you as she ages and you don’t? Play her nursemaid when she’s old and dying? Curl up in the sun next to her grave and turn to ash when she dies? You’re a fucking idiot.” He snarled as his gaze bore into me. He abruptly stood, water splashing everywhere, running in rivets down his chiseled muscles. He looked around. “Where are the fucking towels in this dump?”

I handed him one, and he smirked as I averted my eyes from his nakedness. “You are not a man, Bill. You can never be a man again. Giving up everything, fucking everything, for this human, no matter how valuable her skills, will not change that. Get over it!”

“Would you please stop yelling at me in my own bathroom?”

“I’ll do whatever I please, where ever I please.”

“You can’t have her,” I quietly challenge. “She is mine. That overrides your authority as Sheriff. The Queen herself cannot take her from me.”

“Maybe not outright,” he threatened, leaning close to me, the water from his hair dripping onto my shoulder. “But don’t think there aren’t ways of accomplishing any goal. Never forget that humans are fickle and untrustworthy. Maybe I’ll seduce her myself and convince her to leave you. Maybe I’ll kidnap you, and we can discover how much she cares for you. Shall we see what lengths she’d go to for you? I’ve warned you, Bill. There is survival, and there is death. Unlike you, I always choose survival.” He toweled his hair.

“What will you do when they come for her?” he finally asked. Once again, I didn’t answer. “Don’t think they won’t, Bill, when it gets out what she can do, and it inevitably will. There’s no way to keep this quiet. Every King and Queen in North America will come. The powerful Sheriffs, too. They’ll hunt you down like a dog if you try to protect her. They’ll kill you and take her, and then what?”

“Eric, I’ve known her less than two weeks, and you’re asking me for answers I don’t have.”

“What have you gotten yourself into?” he quietly asked. “I know you remember me telling you to stay away from politics. What’s going on?”

I longed to tell him everything. Not Eric, my Sheriff, but Eric, my friend, and I’d never felt as alone as when I looked him in the eye and simply said, “Nothing.”

“Such a terrible liar,” he sighed. “I can’t protect you if I don’t know what I’m protecting you from.”

“I am fine,” I insisted.

“And it’s impossible to protect you from yourself… Why are you doing this? Why, Bill? If you were in trouble, or so unhappy, why didn’t you come to me? You think so little of me?”

I shook my head and looked away. “Eric,” I pled, my resolve wavering. “Don’t… Please don’t…”

“We’ve been friends for over 100 years,” he said. “For most of your life. You’ll throw that away for her? How rare is it among our kind to form a bond such as ours, outside the realm of necessity, without the burden of being Maker and Child?” His voice grew very quiet, too quiet for a human to hear, and he gently stroked my cheek. “You do not think we could be nest-mates? Brothers? Lovers, even?” He leaned into me, his nakedness pressed against my belly. “You think I would force you, or hold you against your will, or make you do something you abhor? You think I would be Lorena?”

“Eric, this isn’t about you.”

“Really?” he stepped away. “What about the obvious fact she’s the human, female version of me.”

I was stunned. “She is nothing like you.”

“You’re an even bigger fool than I thought. I recognize my own kind. That girl is a survivor. She may look like a darling Southern belle, but she is fierce. She has the heart of a warrior, and she’d make a magnificent vampire.”

“Never!” I hissed as my fangs popped down.

“So it comes to this?” he asked. “Two weeks with this human, and you’ll turn against me?”

Eric ran his thumb over one fang, pressing his hand gently against my lip. He pricked the tip of his thumb, and a single drop of blood oozed out before the tiny wound healed. He smeared it on my bottom lip.

“She is not one of us,” he whispered, his lips so close they brushed against mine. “You can never love her the way you could love your own kind, with total abandon and passion. She will never fully understand you, and you will never be able to be yourself without risking her. If you do not turn her, because you’re so young, you’ll probably die yourself when her short life is over. If you do turn her, most likely she’ll come to resent you, as Children resent their Makers. And most importantly, you are making yourself extremely vulnerable.” I stepped away from him and wiped his blood from my lip with the back of my hand, and then wiped it off on my pants. “You refuse my blood? For her?” He looked at me sadly as he pulled on a black tank-top.

“Eric,” I said.

“So be it,” he said, his eyes ice-cold as they stared through me, the Eric I loved buried under the Sheriff standing before me.

“Eric,” I repeated, pleading.

“Bring her to Fangtasia tonight,” he commanded, his voice quiet and disinterested.

I sighed. “And if I refuse?”

“I’ll come for her.” He slipped on his pants. “All’s fair in love and war, Bill. I won’t be responsible for the consequences.”

“What happened to fighting the honorable fight?” I asked.

“As you so righteously pointed out the night we met,” he said as he walked through the door, his back to me. “There is never honor in fighting.”

***

I leaned against the hood of Sookie’s car while I listened to her finishing up in the bar, Eric’s words churning in my head. I was tempted to call the Queen to intervene, but if she thought I couldn’t handle the situation, she might come for Sookie. I considered calling Eric, begging him to listen. If I explained everything, Lorena and the Queen and Hadley, perhaps he’d stop whatever plans my response this evening had put into effect. I wasn’t convinced that he’d understand my feelings for Sookie, but Eric was loyal. We’d shared blood, and he would come to my aid, regardless of his opinions. But something about Sookie intrigued him. Even Sophie-Ann was afraid of Eric learning about her. That alone was enough to keep my silence. But Eric was right – Sookie was in danger. There was a human intent on killing her. Her cousin had sold her out to the Queen. Her gift would make her a target to vampires everywhere. I was tormented by dreams of weddings, and despite my heart’s desire, Lorena, were she to learn of my affections for another, would not merely be saddened. And now Eric was planning something. I didn't know what, but I knew it wouldn't be good. This night smelled of a set-up. He'd known how I would respond, and Eric did not live as long as he had without being powerful and ruthless.

Sam popped his head out the back door and saw me. I gave a nod, and he growled and went back inside. “Sookie,” I heard him say. “You can go ahead and leave. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Sookie said. I listened as she walked back to his office, folded her apron, and collected her things.

“Hey Sook,” Sam said. “Is something wrong?”

“I just have a lot on my mind right now,” she said.

“Be safe, okay?”

“I’ll be just fine.”

“Well, if you ever need anything, I hope you know you can call me. Anytime.”

I heard her hug him. “I know, Sam,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt. “Goodnight.” I listened as she walked out, and she looked up, startled, when she saw me. “Bill!” I smiled. She shook her head and walked towards me, fishing keys from her bag. “Are you going to be here every night?”

“Is that such a bad thing?” I said as I pulled her to me with one arm. I pulled the white and red roses from behind my back and bowed slightly as I handed them to her. “Miss Stackhouse,” I said as I handed them to her. I knew Sam was watching, and I ignored the dog-smell as I kissed her, my tongue making her shiver. She pulled away, and I gently took the keys from her hand and opened the passenger door for her.

“Thank you,” she said, over the tops of the flowers. “But it’s really not necessary.”

“Lisa suggested that flowers were necessary…”

“No, not the flowers,” she said, shaking her head. “They’re lovely, and yes, unnecessary. I don’t need you to buy me things. But I meant you driving me home from work. I don’t need an escort.”

“I disagree,” I argued as I sat behind the wheel and started the short drive back to Sookie’s house. “If, when the suspect is in custody, you’d prefer me to not escort you home, I’m willing to listen to any points you might have. In the meantime, I’ll feel better if you’re not out and about alone after dark.” I kissed her hand.

“Bad things happen during the day, too,” she quietly said.

I nodded, once again painfully reminded of how helpless I was to protect her during the day. I couldn’t even protect myself. I’d never minded before Sookie, but now, those hours of lifelessness seemed endless. “But I have some control over the ones at night. Please allow me.”

She sighed. “Okay. You win.”

“That was surprisingly simple,” I said.

“Watch it,” she said. “Or I’ll change my mind.” I pulled her car up to her house and opened the door for her. “Did you get my note?” she asked as she unlocked the door.

“I did,” I said, carefully smelling and listening for intruders. “Thank you. I stopped by the dry cleaner earlier this evening.”

“Angela seemed a bit eager to meet you,” she said.

“You have no idea…” I said under my breath.

Bill,” she began. “I…” She smoothed her hair unnecessarily and looked at the floor.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She smiled and shook her head. “Never mind. You want to go out tonight? Do something normal?”

“As it so happens, I have someplace I need to be this evening, so that would work out well.”

“I just need a few minutes to freshen up and change,” she said. She led me by the hand upstairs. I slipped off my shoes and leaned back on her bed, watching as she flipped through her closet. “Too much?” she asked, holding up a white dress.

I couldn’t help but remember the vision of her in the ivory wedding gown. “It’s lovely,” I quietly said.

“Maybe I should ask you what’s wrong?” she said. She hung the dress on the door frame and flopped next to me on the bed. “Did something happen?”

“What gave me away?” I asked as I kissed her hair. She shrugged. “Eric came to the house earlier tonight,” I finally said.

“Eric?” she said. “Eric from Fangtasia Eric?” I nodded. “What did he want?” I closed my eyes and gently stroked her arm. “Oh,” Sookie said. “He wants me.” She sighed. “So maybe a normal night out is too much to ask for after all?”

I kissed her instead of answering, my hands sneaking under her shirt in the back as I held her to me. I unhooked her bra and teased her nipples as my tongue danced with hers.

“Are you trying to distract me from the big, bad vampire?” she asked when I moved to her ear, gently nipping its tender skin.

“Are you feeling… distracted?” I asked as I pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. Her bra quickly followed, and I took one breast into my mouth.

“Um… maybe…” she panted as she tugged on my hair.

“Complaining?” I asked as I kissed and licked my way back to her mouth. She shook her head, and I eased her out of her shorts and panties while she unbuckled my belt and tugged my slacks past my hips.

I held her hot body to mine, burying myself in her delicious sweet scent. Eric’s words came unbidden to mind as my fingers tested her readiness before thrusting inside her, always mindful so I didn’t hurt her.

“Bill,” she gasped as I hit her sweet spot deep inside. She tilted her neck to the side, exposing her pulsing vein. I watched it throb with each heartbeat. “Do it,” she insisted when I felt her muscles beginning to tighten. “Please.”

I nuzzled my nose against it, feeling her pulse and smelling the blood so close to the surface. I licked it in long strokes before finally biting, her blood flooding my mouth. I kept expecting to get used to her unique flavor, but every time was a joyful surprise. As I pulled on the wound, I felt her clinching around me, and she cried out when I released into her. I pierced my tongue to heal the marks and pulled her to my side.

“I’d better get ready,” she finally said.

“Would you like me to wash your back?” I offered.

“No,” she said in a distracted way. “Just give me a couple minutes.” I wanted to ask her again what was bothering her, as something was obviously wrong, but instead I was silent as she pulled on a short robe and headed to the bathroom.

***

Sookie looked so beautiful when she reappeared that I considered asking her to put on something less appealing. I had to remind myself that she was mine, that Eric, no matter his threats, could do nothing against her will without breaking one of the ancient laws. She was mine.

“Are you feeling unwell?” I asked when we were halfway to Shreveport. We’d driven in silence, listening to music from her iPod, which I’d asked her to bring so she’d be more comfortable with the selection. Sookie sighed and rubbed her temples with her eyes closed. “Are you alright? Did I take too much blood?”

“Bill,” she sighed, her eyes still closed. “You seem to be under the impression that I’m fragile.”

“All things being relative, Sookie, you are quite breakable.”

“I am not weak,” she snapped. She sighed. “Can you turn that off?” she asked, nodding to the stereo.

“Of course,” I answered, immediately doing so. “And I never meant to imply that you’re weak.”

“I just can’t handle anymore noise at the moment,” she explained. I reached over and took one of her hands in mine. “You have no idea what it’s like…” she quietly said.

“What?”

“You holding my hand like that. Being able to touch you without a flood of images and thoughts I don’t want to know.” She smiled. “Like last night, or tonight for that matter. All your skin against mine…” She shivered, her voice trailed off, and blood flooded to her cheeks, filling the car with a fresh wave of her scent. “You could be thinking about different ways to kill me, or some other beautiful woman you know, or making a mental grocery list, or wondering about the football scores. But it's silent. I have no idea what you’re thinking, and I love it.”

“I’m sure your gift has its uses,” I gently reminded her.

She shrugged. “I just wish…” Then she shook her head. “Gran always said there wasn’t much point in wishing for what you can’t ever have.” She opened her eyes and turned to me. “Everyone was just really loud today. Arlene was so darn smug about Rene asking her to marry him. She’s a good person, she really is,” Sookie quickly added. “But sometimes… and people are just…” I waited for her to finish her thought. “Some people are nice, but most thoughts are… Well, let’s just say most people think carefully about what they say out-loud. And they haven’t quite gotten over my Gran, and me being with you… Not that they thought that highly of me before…”

I carefully squeezed her fingers. “You can learn to block some of it out.”

She shrugged. “I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older. I do alright most of the time.”

“I can help, if you’d like.”

“How will you be able to help?” she skeptically asked. I swallowed unnecessarily, wary of Eric’s dire predictions and of revealing too many secrets. “Bill?”

I put both hands on the steering wheel and stared intently at the road. “I don’t read minds,” I clarified.

She smiled. “Um, yeah. I kind-of already knew that.”

“But I do have... other gifts.”

“Gifts?”

“This isn’t information we’d like…”

“I know, I know,” she interrupted, and I saw her roll her eyes. “You don’t like your weakness to be public knowledge, so I assume you don’t want your strengths to be either.”

“That’s correct,” I nodded. “We are all stronger and faster and have more acute senses than humans,” I began. “But some vampires, not all, but some, have additional powers.”

She smiled. “You do.” It wasn’t a question.

I nodded. “I do.” She didn’t speak, and I was grateful that I couldn’t glamour her, as I knew I’d be tempted to do so if I were able. “My senses are… extremely sensitive, for lack of a better description. Even by vampire standards.” She nodded. “And I don’t forget.”

“Don’t forget what?” she asked.

“Anything.”

“What? Like ever?” she looked incredulous.

I smiled and shook my head. “No. Never.”

“So it’s like you’re living in HD, and you remember every detail of every moment for the past 150 years?”

“173 years,” I corrected. “I remember my human life too. It’s not as clear because I remember it through my human experience, but it’s all there. Things I’d forgotten before I was turned, even. Everything.”

“That’s… well… wow,” Sookie said. “Really?” I nodded. “That’s really cool.”

“Not all the time,” I said. “As I’m sure you understand, there are some things I would prefer to forget.”

She was quiet for a moment, and then she nodded in agreement. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’re right. Then again, I’m sure your gift has its uses, too,” she quoted back at me.

I smiled. “Yes, but like your extra sense, you know that it comes at a price. When I was newly turned, I almost lost my mind to the onslaught. I was disoriented from the sensory overload until I learned to control it. I can help you learn to turn down the volume, or block it out all together maybe. If you’d like.”

She smiled. “I’d like that…” She leaned her head back, and we continued to drive in silence. “Hey Bill,” she finally said. “Does Eric have a gift?”

I’d been flying with Eric, standing on his feet the way my daughter had done when we danced. He’d held me pressed against him, and the entire process defied all laws of nature. One moment, we were standing on the ground, his arms wrapped securely around me. He’d smiled down at me, and the next moment, we were speeding through the air.

“Don’t be afraid,” Eric had whispered in my ear.

“I’m not,” I’d lied.

He’d chuckled, the sound rumbling deep from within his chest. He was the only solid thing in the world at the moment, and I’d never felt so safe as I had in his arms, the wind bringing tears to my eyes as we raced across the night sky.

“Bill?” Sookie repeated.

“I can’t say whether he does or does not,” I said.

She rolled her eyes again. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Sookie,” I said. “I promise that I am not being intentionally evasive. It’s just not my information to share.”

“Why are you protecting him?”

“It’s not that simple.”

She huffed. “Then please explain it to me because it seems fairly simple.”

“Most of our kind have spent decades, centuries in some cases, keeping secrets. Our survival depended on it. There were small nests for protection, occasionally for more emotional or affectionate reasons, but most vampires live singly, or in twos or threes, trying not to attract notice, either of humans or other vampires. For as long as anyone can remember, and for some, that is a long, long time, the first law was to not reveal ourselves or risk our secret.”

“Vampires have rules?” Sookie asked. I nodded. “I suppose you’d have to. And I didn’t think of your life like that,” she quietly replied. “Vampire lives...” She giggled. “It’s really not funny, but it’s kind-of a contradiction, isn’t it? The lives of the undead?”

I smiled. “Should be the title of one of those talk shows humans are so fond of.”

“It sounds really lonely.”

“Sometimes,” I agreed, shrugging. “Don’t pity me, Sookie. Don’t pity any of us. Pity is a dangerous thing.”

“You wouldn’t hurt me,” she said.

“I’ve essentially been on my own for the past seventy years,” I said, moving away from her conviction. “Having a companion, trusting someone, sharing thoughts, having feelings…” Sookie reached over and took my hand. “Please understand that it is not easy for me. I am trying.”

“I’m sorry, Bill,” she said. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

***

I pulled up to the front of Fangtasia. They’d closed early, so the neon was turned off. Sookie glared out the window, and then turned and looked to glare at me.

“You said you wanted to go out tonight,” I reminded her.

“I did not mean Fangtasia,” she said, pronouncing the name as if it were a bad word. “All those pathetic people who come here looking for sex with vampires.” She shuddered slightly.

“I know,” I teased, turning to her. “It’s despicable.”

“You know what I mean,” she said, refusing to back down even though the bar was obviously closed and empty of tourists. “So what? Five? Ten minutes?”

“For as long as Eric requires us,” I told her.

“You mean as long as he requires me,” she pouted. “He didn’t even have the decency to ask me himself.”

“You are mine,” I explained, wishing I could tell her of his threats. I didn’t want to alarm her, but she seemed so naïve and ill-equipped to deal with vampire-politics. I loved her endless faith in people, such a rare quality in humans, and even more so considering she heard everyone’s deepest, darkest secrets. But moments like this, when she didn’t have the sense to consider her own preservation, were infuriating. “He didn’t need to ask your permission.”

“He cannot check me out like a library book,” Sookie insisted.

“Unfortunately, Sookie, he can.” I heard her heartbeat quicken. “Eric is Sheriff of Area Five,” I reluctantly explained.

“Sheriff?”

“It’s a position of great power among our kind. We do not want to anger him. As long as the requests are reasonable, we should exceed to his wishes.” She held the flowers to her nose, and I tentatively smiled, hoping she’d accept my peace offering. But then she cast them away as she opened the car door harder than necessary.

“I had this crazy dream this morning,” she said as she leaned over the car. I held my breath, knowing that this must be what had been bothering her all evening. “We were sitting, eating breakfast, and all of a sudden, the sunlight set you on fire.”

I leaned over the car and stared at the keys in my hands. She gazed at me intently, and I knew she wanted me to contradict her. More than anything, I wanted to tell her that we could, in fact, have a normal life together, that I could give her all the things she wanted. I knew the dream represented how different our lives would always have to be. I was vampire, and she wanted me to be human. Like she'd said earlier, it didn't help to wish for things that could never be. I'd learned that the hard way.

“It wouldn’t happen quite that way,” I finally said. “The sunlight would severely weaken me, and eventually, of course, I would die.” She nodded and swallowed. “But I wouldn’t burst into flames,” I said. “Not right away at least.” I immediately walked away, not wanting to see the effect of my reality flicker across her face.

“So I guess we’ll never have breakfast together,” she quietly said. I wasn’t sure whether or not I was supposed to hear, so I pretended like I didn’t. Instead of answering, I felt her sadness and knocked on the door.