|Ghost Hunter Parody
Author: Goldenears PM
A Parody I made of the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness. It takes place just after Oath Breaker. Wow. I didn't expect it to go on so long. Well, this has definitely been a fulfilling experience. Hope it was enjoyed by all. Or at least most.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 7,713 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 07-24-11 - Published: 08-09-09 - id: 5287601
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Chronicles of Ancient Darkness. That's right. I'm back.
Everybody expected me to die, didn't they. Everybody thought that I was gone, retired, dead, underground. Well… I'm not. I'm back for the beginning of the school year, and boy… I can't wait until I get back into the swing of things. Honestly, I've missed you guys. Yeah, there are quite a few flamers out there, but most of you are decent fan fiction folks, and I really enjoy your reviews. That is, reviews that compliment me and this series, which I've barely put any work into. So here I am.
Now this was my first fic, and sadly, my most successful. I've actually gotten quite a few more negative reviews for my new Warriors series. I'm actually swimming in unfinished projects right now. I have a personal writing project I've been working on for almost a year now, I've got some stuff I'm building up to put on an upcoming resume, and I've got another series that I've started, for the Inheritance Cycle. So prepare for some reading. At the moment, I'm working away from home, so this might not actually be a very good chapter. But at least it's a chapter. Right? RIGHT? Well screw you then. Oh, and read my sister's stuff because she's annoying. There. Oh. Right. In case you missed it, my sister is Scarheart13 and she's in the middle of writing Firestar's IQ, a terrible rip-off of my series which she is trying to bring back to life with scary voodoo magic.
I just realized that my sister is sitting right beside me. And that I am starting to get into this, even though I hate the keyboard on this computer. And I also just realized that I just spent nearly half a page for the foreword, which is kind of sad and pathetic, but the longer I keep this up, the less I need to be funny, and the more you guys will read. Although eventually I guess I'll need to write some sort of joke.
Oh, you've already heard that one then…
And now, the chapter.
(Deep in the forest, where wolves live, and also other animals, except wolves are the only ones we care about because screw you. Also, I just read what I wrote in latest chapter, And I'm very sorry. Awake me feels awful for putting you through such a painful ending. So, to continue writing, Wolf doesn't actually leave Darkfur and Pebble alone, instead, he promises to not touch either her or Pebble everr again.
Wolf: You know, Darkfur, I've been thinking about getting my name changed.
Darkfur (in a very sarcastic tone): Really! Why is that… Wolf?
Wolf (Completely oblivious): Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I happened to be named by a human, who did not realize how awkward it is to be named after your species. Therefor, I have decided to legally change my name… to Dawg'
Darkfur (smiles, then laughes, then frowns, then glares at him): I was going to say that that was a funny joke, but you're far too stupid to have made a joke on purpose. So I am going to assume that you are serious, in which case I urge you to not use the name "Dog" as your new name.
Darkfur: Because it's almost as bad as wolf. It's almost the exact same animal.
Wolf: Ah. I understand your confusion. You see, Wolf isn't a very cool name, is it?
Darkfur: Well, I guess not-
Wolf: Exactly! I need to be super cool to get around now. So, if I have a name like Wolf, then I`ll never get up there. So my name will be Dawg`
Darkfur: You know that pronouncing it like a moron isn't going to make it any cooler. I know that the author is spelling int D-A-W-G, but that doesn't change the fact that you are naming yourself after a domestic animal that, in the future, will be carried around in purses.
Wolf: Too late. I already changed my name. From now on, the author will be forced to call me Dawg'
(From in the distance they hear a gunshot and a scream of agony.)
Wolf: I guess that the author found the person who changed my name for me. He's probably dead now.
(Unfortunately, the author was unable to get to the office in time, so Wolf will be hence forth referred to as Dawg'.
-Meanwhile, in the Raven Camp-
Renn: Have you ever wondered what the wolves are doing when we aren't watching? I bet they do some crazy things that we couldn't even imagine.
Torak: Nope. They pretty much just sit there. Being a wolf. And sleeping. And sometimes eating. Oh, and breathing. They breathe a lot. Actually, I'm surprised at how much air is left, considering how much wolves breathe. You know, if we got rid of wolves, we would have a lot more air to go around.
Renn: *Dives into river and almost drowns to escape Torak's rantings.*
Torak: Yeah, that's right. Take that wolves. We just need to dump all of their children in a river and then they'll never be able to breathe all of our hard earned air. Wait, wolf already did that. A lot, actually. And it didn't really work. He would need to develop a new evil plan to get all their air back from the evil wolves.
-To Be Continued-