A/N: A break from various angsty catching RJ plot bunnies. A bit fluffier, too. Don't faint. x tromana

Title: Work-Related Injuries
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Jane/Lisbon, Team
Summary: Jane discovers Lisbon's job isn't as easy as he thinks it is.
Disclaimer: Whilst I'd love to own them, I don't.
Spoilers: 1.16 Bloodshot
Notes: I imagine this set sometime between Bloodshot and the S1 finale.
Prompt: Just relax

Work-Related Injuries

"Just relax," she hissed through clenched teeth. "If you keep squirming, you're only going to make it worse."

Patrick Jane gave Lisbon a glare that she would be proud of, yet she was seemingly immune to it. It was possibly because she was so used to dishing them out herself. The corner of her mouth twitched slightly. Obviously, she was enjoying this.

"But…" he whined.

"But nothing. Really, Jane, I should be shipping you off to ER," she muttered. "I don't know how you manage to talk me out of these things."

They were shut in her office, door firmly closed and blinds snapped shut. She had carefully stripped him out of his vest and shirt so that she could see the damage done. The multitude of grazes along his lower arm were obvious and her fingers massaged the spot where his shoulder had come into contact with concrete. It didn't feel dislocated, merely bruised. Suddenly, Teresa Lisbon became very grateful for that advanced first aid course she had been forced to sit through by Minelli last month.

"This might hurt," she warned him, while brandishing a bandage.

"Don't think it can hurt much more." Her hands pressed to a bruise as she held it in place. "Good God, woman. Are you trying to kill me?"

"No, I'd be less subtle."

Really, she was dealing with an oversized child. An oversized child with sincere eyes, kissable lips and hair that just made you want to… she shook her head to regain her senses. Those were inappropriate thoughts, not just for the moment but for a colleague. He was Jane for crying out loud. He drove her mental, she certainly didn't want to… Lisbon refocused again and continued with the strapping up of his shoulder, just as a precautionary measure.

"What were you thinking, anyway?" she queried. "You haven't had that kind of training."

"He was coming at you with a knife. Ouch!" he moaned suddenly. "Can't you be gentle?"

"Nope," she grinned. "Continue."

"And I just… I just had to save you."

"You? Save me?" she laughed. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all year."

Jane stuck out his bottom lip even further. While there was something to be said for making a beautiful woman laugh, he wasn't entirely keen on the idea of her laughing at him. With him, fine… but at? No way.

And he had genuinely thought that the man, now being questioned by Rigsby and Cho, was going to at least attempt to kill her. They hadn't even been there to arrest him, merely to ask a few questions pertaining to the case. Cho and Rigsby had gone to the door, and unusually, Lisbon had held back, choosing to stay by the SUV. Then, out of nowhere, their man had bolted out of nowhere, brandishing a machete. Lisbon had been directly in the line of fire.

Jane's first instinct had been to barrel into him. He'd seen Lisbon do it a countless number of times. And she was tiny, so really, it couldn't have been that difficult. He hadn't quite managed to floor the guy, however. Well, to be honest, he missed him entirely and his shoulder had found the floor instead. By the time Jane came to his senses, Lisbon had already disarmed and cuffed him, with amusement written across her features. Jane hadn't known whether to laugh or cry. She was safe, but he had made a fool of himself and his shoulder really, really hurt. Maybe it hadn't been quite as easy as he first thought.

At least she eventually backed down when it came to her suggestion of hospital. After the whole temporary-blindness thing, Jane wasn't keen to be back there so soon. While they had their 'mature discussion' (more like a childish argument), Jane managed to watch Cho and Rigsby's reactions. They displayed a rather interesting mix of amusement and cringing. To be fair, they were probably just relieved that Lisbon had decided to blame the debacle on him rather than them. But now, sitting in Lisbon's office, he wasn't entirely sure that avoiding the hospital had been a good idea. Lisbon wasn't exactly the most gentle, nor most sympathetic of medics. Instead, she seemed petulant and keen to cause him as much physical pain as possible.

She was still shaking with laughter, (really, the idea of him saving her life wasn't that funny, was it?) once she had finished strapping up his shoulder. The antiseptic soon followed for the grazes on his elbow and Jane's winces as the soaked cotton wool came into contact with raw, bloodied skin only served to entertain her further. There was no way he was believing that this was all 'for his own good' now. Still, he grinned at her when she finally saw fit to close the first aid kit and roughly throw back his clothing.

"All done," she stated. "And no more reckless behaviour like trying to save my life. Leave it to the professionals, okay?"

"Like you?"

"Like me," she nodded in response.

"Duly noted."

He tested the movement in his shoulder tentatively as she helped him get his arm through a shirt sleeve. It was sore, but he could tell she had actually done a fairly good job. Jane was grateful, however, when she handed him a tub of painkillers and a glass of water. He took them quickly and smiled at her, noting the flash of concern that appeared momentarily in her eyes.

"Is it okay?"

"It will be if you kiss it better."

Her cheeks flared a rosy pink, just as he had expected them to. Sighing, she lifted a hand and pointed at her door with a determined finger.

"Out."

"But kisses always work."

"Out," she responded, louder. Looking to the ground forlornly, he shuffled to the door. "I'm sure if you ask nicely, Cho or Rigsby would be able to kiss it better."

Lisbon raised her eyebrows and her eyes sparkled with mirth. Jane simply gaped at her; he hadn't expected that one. It was typical of the woman to somehow manage to get the last word.

end