Author: gryffon47 PM
Four years after D.E.B.S. What happens when Lucy isn't the only one that kidnaps Amy? Lucy/Amy, Scud/JanetRated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Amy B. & Lucy D. - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,524 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 09-24-10 - Published: 08-10-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5289788
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: My coauthor, who wishes to remain nameless, and I would like to thank all readers and reviewers. And even though this update is five weeks late, it is the thought that counts. We haven't decided if there will be an epilogue. If you so desire one, please hit the review button and simply type the word yes. It's been a good run.
Alex had swallowed a pint of blood by the time Lucy and Amy had stopped making out long enough to actually notice he was still there.
"You know," Lucy started. "When couples make out, other people are supposed to LEAVE the room!"
"OR the couple actually STOPS making out to say hello, especially to the extremely handsome and hardworking Interpol Agent that was the brains behind this operation," Alex gloated.
Amy snickered as Lucy rolled her eyes. "The brains! You thought I kidnapped her! You didn't even know we were engaged!" Two seconds later, Lucy realized what she said, and Amy did too.
"Are we now?" Amy asked. "I was not aware of this development, considering the fact I would have to agree to getting married."
While Lucy carefully considered her next few words, realizing they could very well be her last, Scud, Janet, Dominique, and Max finally decided to make an entrance.
"What we miss?" Scud whispered.
"Lucy, just decided they were getting married," Alex replied.
"So she proposed?"
"And they wonder why I'm not in a…" Max started to say before she noticed Bulgarian hunk checking her out. "Relationship," she finished slowly. "I'm gonna go over there." She began edging her way closer to said hunk.
"Where's your evil cool and world renowned charm now Diamond?"
"Gone with the wind?" Lucy questioned more than stated.
"Ver iz de popcorn ven ewe need it?" Dominique asked.
"Since when did Lucy know allusions?" Scud asked Janet.
They stared at each other for a second before coming to the same conclusion. "Amy." they replied simultaneously.
"When were you planning on asking me, before or after I'd walked down the aisle?" Amy asked.
"So it is a yes," Lucy stated confidently back to her suave self.
"I never said that! I haven't even asked you!" Amy slammed her hand over her mouth before she could continue her word vomit.
Everyone else gasped, while Lucy cocked an eyebrow.
"Amy say what?" Alex asked.
"Miss Bradshaw, is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class?" Lucy asked.
"I have the right to remain silent, anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law. I have the right to an attorney…" Amy continued to read off her rights.
"My sister just arrested herself," Alex said in disbelief.
"I never thought I'd see the day you got arrested," Lucy said. "Especially since I'm standing two feet in front of you."
"So we are at a stalemate?" Scud assumed. "Which means this problem can only be solved one way."
The room was silent for a minute.
"What way might that be, Scud?" Lucy asked.
"I don't know I figured someone else could fill in the blank," he replied defeated.
Everyone in the room was completely silent and lost in thought, with the exception of Max, who was still high and preoccupied.
Scud started playing on his iPhone while waiting for a response, and Amy and Lucy were in a battle of wills, while Janet, Alex, and Dominique scratched their heads.
Five incredibly long and boring minutes later Scud walked over to the stubborn couple, placing one hand on Lucy's shoulder, and the other on Amy's shoulder.
"By the power vested in me by , I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Lucy and Amy did a double take.
"Did you just?" Amy asked.
"Yes," Scud answered.
"Is it?" Lucy asked.
"Yes," Scud answered again.
"So that means?" Amy asked.
"Yes. Now kiss the bride so Janet and I can go on our honeymoon," Scud practically ordered.
Amy and Lucy stared at each other awkwardly for a few minutes, before Lucy suddenly started screaming at Scud.
"You can't just marry us! We were going to have a wedding! I was going to invite the uncles! Do you have any idea how dangerous the situation is going to be now? It is an insult to not invite them! You should know that, they were at your wedding! Now, Uncle Pampers was supposed to sing! Do you remember the last time Uncle Pampers didn't get to sing?"
Scud cringed, before remembering the Sinatra set he did for the first dances.
"He was nice," Janet commented. "He had a great voice too."
"And what about my family Scud? What about my mother? She is going to blow her top when she finds out what you did. And she makes Uncle Pampers look like a puppy dog! A Puppy Dog!"
Lucy just nodded understandingly.
"You were going to invite the Christmas Nazi, to your wedding?" Alex asked. "And they wonder why I don't come home for the holidays."
"That is our mother!" Amy yelled.
Lucy calmly placed her hand on Amy's shoulder. "Hun, I love your mom, but she really is kind of a Christmas Nazi, but in a good way, not a Hitler way."
"And just look at it this way," Janet attempted to comfort the other couple. "At least now you don't have to worry about flower arrangements, or color schemes, or wedding planners."
"Yeah, and Lucy doesn't have to give another speech," Scud added.
Lucy thought about what they both had just said, and came to a sudden realization. She quickly and uncharacteristically wrapped her arms around Scud, hanging on for dear life, and profusely mumbled, "," over and over again.
"How very adult like of you," Amy smirked, while attempting to hold back her laughter.
Lucy immediately let go of Scud and sauntered over to her newly wedded wife. "Babe, before the UN, Interpol, and angry Bulgarians come after us, are you ok with the whole , getting married in a crime scene thing?" She asked sincerely. "Because if you're not ok with it I will swallow my pride, and attempt to surprise and propose to you like I originally planned, before all of this happened."
"I'm ok," Amy replied honestly. "Let's just go home."
Lucy smiled and held Amy's hand as they walked back out to the cars. While everyone else was following quietly behind them, Max was beginning to come down from her high, and didn't like the quiet of the chaos they had caused at all.
"God, I have such headache. I haven't felt this bad since I took the SATs," she complained loudly. "And why am I starving? Can we stop somewhere so I can get a steak? Actually, screw the steak; I'll eat the whole cow. Oh, and I think that Bulgarian guy wrote his number on my arm."
Lucy and Amy quickly slid into the front seats of the Skymobile, while Max and Alex hopped in the back. Lucy started backing up the car in hopes of turning around, when Amy stopped her.
Amy's phone was vibrating rather loudly on the side pocket of the car door. "Luce, wait. I've got a text." She flipped open the phone. "Scud says you may now kiss the bride," She read aloud.
"You know," Lucy started while putting the car back into park. "That sounds like the best plan he's had all day." Lucy leaned closer to Amy.
"Screw that," Alex interrupted. "If you two are going to make out, I'm listening to music." He extended his arm in between the two of them and reached to turn on the radio.
"No, Don't!" they both yelled simultaneously as Alex pushed the dial.
A missile proceeded to pop out from the front headlight and fly into the Chancellor's home, blowing up the entire thing with a small series of many spectacular explosions.