|Under the Influence of Alcohol
Author: Violent Pixi PM
Who knew vampires could get drunk? Bella wakes up with a hangover and a trashed house, remembering some things better left forgotten. Skinny dipping, Nymphomaniacs and wild crack fun. But will a strange romance occur in it all? JasbellaRated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Bella & Jasper - Chapters: 16 - Words: 16,609 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 01-08-11 - Published: 08-14-09 - id: 5300828
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I had this idea stuck in my head for a while, after all, drunkedness is allways fun! Just so you know, The chapters are named after real cocktails.
Under the Influence of Alcohol
'Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off'
I woke up and clutched my pounding head. The room was a blurr. A spinning blur. I attempted to sit up, moving an arm off me as i did so, not daring to see who it was. Clutching a hand to my mouth, i ran into someone's room and threw up. Looking around at the familliar, yet very different room, i felt sick again.
Edward's room was a mess. The bed was up-turned, CDs thrown all over the place, a table smashed to pieces and a pair of boxers hanging from the smashed light. I didn't want to know who's they were. The walls were coated in scrawls of text and paint. Red splattered one wall while a vile green coloured another with girly pink words exclaiming on the window: EdwarDd likes boys exceppt 4 HanNah monTANNAA
I would usually have giggled except for the fact that if i opened my mouth, i would throw up again. I looked around and saw a smashed mirror, echoing a distorted reflection of me about twenty times. It was not pretty.
Mascara and eyeliner was running down my cheeks, my hair was in a compleate mess with some sickdecorating it. My lipstick was all over my mouth, with a pink shade on my forehead in the shape of lips. The shirt i was wearing was ripped so much that my bra was showing. I remember wearing jeans yesterday so the lack of jeans was a mystery to me. The shirt only went down to my thighs. Pulling a double take on it, it wasn't even my shirt. It was very large on me, a guys shirt.
I staggered into the main room to see Rose groaning, with her head in Emmett's lap while he was moaning about what the hell happened. Emmet was wearing a thong so i suspected that the boxers in Edward's room were his. Alice was in my top and jeans which were covered in mud, clutching her head. Jasper was only clad in a pair of Edward's kakhi pants. The room was in ruins. Everyone had make-up down their face except for Alice who had mud streaked down her cheeks and soaking wet hair. Even Emmet and Jasper did. Someone had written the words 'Virgin' on his forehead in glittery eyeliner and Jasper had red lipstick on his mouth.
I looked in the mirror again, and saw red lipstick smeared around my face, and looked back to Jasper.
"Oh shit." I whispered.
"Oh shit indeed." Emmett groaned. "It's all comming back to me."
"I can't believe we tried getting drunk." Rosalie said. "I mean, who knew that we could?"
Then we heard the car engine stop, and the steps walking up the drive. The front door opened.
"What the hell happened?" Esme screetched. "Emmet!"
"It wasn't just me." He moaned.
Esme, Carlisle, followed by Edward walked into the lounge, staring around at the absolute chaos we had caused. Edward was grinning until he saw me, in the state i was in.
"You idiots. What the fuck were you thinking?" He shouted, speeding over to me to pull me in a hug but i pushed him away to be sick on him.
I wiped it away before replying. "We just-"
"Had a bit too much to drink." Rose finished. "Oh god, Jaz. You are in trouble."
"Why?" He moaned, pulling a pillow over his head and sighing. "I feel like shit."
Emmett looked around at everyone, his face in a daze. "God, this is worse then the last time. Bella is a bad influenze on us. I think Edward's holding her back. She's a blast at parties." He was grinning and winked at me.
Alice picked up a silver camera that had managed to survive the night. She turned it on and flicked through the pictures. "Oh my fucking god." She mumbled. "We were never this bad bef- Bella!" She turned to me, her mouth open in shock. Edward glanced at her before his face darkened.
"JASPER?" Edward shouted. "WHAT THE FUCK?"
"WHAT?" He shouted back from underneith the pillow. "What did i do now?"
I growled. "Could someone please tell me what's going on?"
Alice tossed the camera to me.
The current picture up was one of me and Jasper. I was dancing on the table in only my underwear with Jasper's arm around me and whispering to me in my ear.
"Um...so what?" I asked nervously. "I was pissed. It's not like any-"
"Look at the next couple." Alice hissed at me.
I did. It was like a flip book. Graduly, the pictures were getting more intimate as they went along, until i had my legs wrapped around his waist, smearing my lipstick all over his face, my bra unhooked.
"Oh my god..." I whispered. I clicked to go to the next picture and it was one of Rosalie groping Alice as they made faces at the camera. "Rose? Why are you making out with Alice?"
"What?" Alice, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle and Emmet all shouted at the same time.
"Let me see the girl on girl action!" Emmet grinned and Rose hit him, her face a mask of embarasment.
"What's going on with Bella?" Carlisle asked, calmly. "I think we should be more concerned for her."
Rosalie laughed. "Actually we should be more worried about Jasper, really."
"Why?" Jasper's muffled voice growled.
"You bastard!" Edward shouted.
"Edward!" Esme scoulded but nobody paid much attention to her.
"You fucking asshole!" Edward picked up Jasper and slammed him into his piano, holding him by the throat and kicking, punching and, basically, beating up his brother. He was holding Jasper by the throat.
"Edward!" Carlisle shouted. "Let go of him this instant."
"Oi! Get off him." Emmet growled.
"Stop it!" Esme sobbed.
"EDWARD!" I shouted. Edward turned around to look at me. "Get off him...now!"
"Why should i?" He growled.
I bit my bottom lip, desperatly hoping that i didn't have to say it, but apparently i did. "Because it was my idea?" I said.
"For what?" Jasper gasped.
Edward let Jasper fall to the floor as he stared into nothing, no expression on his face. The others were talking behind us as Emmett, Rose and Alice filled them in on why Edward was beating Jasper up. I flipped through the pictures in the camera until i found the worst one. I hesitantly passed it to him.
His eyes opened in shock. "Holy shit!" He mumbled. "Bella! I'm so sor-"
"Oh shut up." I moaned. "It wasn't your fault." Everyone turned to me, their topaz eyes curious, accusing and full of humour. "I mean, remember when Alice gave everyone a round of Nymphomaniacs?"
Alice laughed. "I remember. And Emmett said-"
"-'Why give dear Bella a Nymphomaniac? She's the tamest human i've ever met.' I remember." Emmett grinned.
"And then..." I continued. "lice said 'Just because Edward isn't here.'" I said, refusing to look at Edward.
Rose laughed. "Ha! Then you said. 'I can so be a Nymphomaniac, without his help. He's holding me back.' Then you..."
Everyone glanced at Jasper, who was looking around at everyone in confusion. "Ah, shit."