2nd chapter, whoooooooooooo!!!! hahaha. I love being an asshole to non-existant people.

Reviews would be awesome; they make me mega happy and hyper enough to write more. critism is good too, because hey, if it sucks, I need to know.

:D hope you like it

*two hours later*

The author explains to Roxas and Axel their entire past and future within twenty minutes. The rest of the two hours is spent trying to find another sea-salt ice cream for Roxas, because he has a weird, slightly unhealthy addiction to them. They meet up with the rest of Roxas' gang.

Olette: Hey, Roxas! ...Um, who are they...? *looking uncomfortably at the author and Axel*

Me:...the fuck you looking at?

Roxas: Uh. The red-headed guy here is named Axel...he's supposed to be my best friend...that I forgot about...and the girl...Wait, who are you again?

Me: Um. A person?

Hayner: No, he meant your name...

Me: Yeah, you know what Hayner? Shutup. No one likes side-characters.

Hayner: What?!

Me: ...Nothing.

The two groups glare at one another, with Roxas in the middle. He looks nervous.

Pence: Um, well, Roxas, we were on our way to solve the 6 wonders of Twilight Town. You coming?

Roxas: Uh-

Me: Dude, all of it sucks ass. Seriously. Do NOT waste your time on that shit.

Roxas: I guess not then.

Olette: WHAT? You're listening to HER over US!?

Me: It would appear that way, yes. *mutters* stupid bitch.

Roxas: Um, Olette, she knows everything about this world...and all the other ones...

Olette: *infuriated* No she doesn't! She's just making stuff up!

Me: I know your future, Olette.

Olette: Oh really? Then what is it? Humor me.

Me: *happy* You don't have one, because no one cares about you. You're a normal side-character in the Kingdom Hearts world. You're more of a nobody than the Nobodies are.

Olette:....

*after a vicious cat fight and much running away later*

Me: Ow, she punched me in the face!

Roxas: Well, I can't say you didn't deserve it...

Me: Dude, she punched me in the face. That hurts.

Roxas: So that's why you beat her to death with my keyblade?

Me:...let's go with that, yeah.

Axel: Are you sure you're not part of the Organization? You sure as hell seem crazy enough.

Me: ... :P

Roxas: ...whatever. What are you going to do now?

Me: Find Sora, of course! He's the whole reason I came here.

Roxas: I thought you said you loved me...?

Me: Oh, I do. But he is you. You are him. He's just the happier, spikier-headed version. I must find him.

Axel: Riiiight then.

The author gives Axel and Roxas hugs, and she is extremely sad.

Me: I guess this is goodbye for now, guys. I have to continue my search.

Roxas: What? So what are we supposed to do now?

Me: Oh, just act like none of this ever happened. The whole game's plot is sure to fix itself in no time.

Axel: Really?

Me: I have no idea. But this is Square Enix. Crazier shit has happened.

Axel: Oh. Okay then.

The author huggles Roxas one more time, though he clearly does not want to be hugged, and gives him a final warning:

Me: If you go out with Namine while I'm gone, I'll chop it off.

Roxas:...What?! Chop what off?

Me: Think about it.

Roxas:...oh.

Me: Yep. Just saying.

The author waves goodbye, and then shouts "To Hollow Bastion!!!!"

Nothing happens for a few awkward, extremely self-conscience minutes, and then the author disappears into a cloud of pink smoke. Roxas and Axel look at each other.

Roxas: Um.

Axel: Uh.

Roxas...she was lying about the whole, "rape" thing, right?

Axel...yeaaaaah, let's go with that.