|Moon and Tai's Superman Returns Remake
Author: Moon -Cien- and Tai PM
Moon and Tai spoof their way through the Superman Returns movie.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Clark K./Superman/Kal-El & Lex - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,004 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 08-15-09 - id: 5305252
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A big ass yacht is floating on the ocean.
Moon: OMG, the driver of that yacht is Kumar!
Tai: From Harold and Kumar?
Narrator3: AHEM! Can I continue?
Tai: Not with that attitude.
Lex is sitting at a desk, researching… Rocks?Moon: Kryptonite, I'm sure.
Tai: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Lex: -ignores Moon & Tai and continues with his lines- Prometheus was a god who stole the power of fire from the other gods…
Tai: Nu uh!
Moon: Prometheus was a titan, not a god.
Tai: Duh! Learn your Greek mythology!
Moon: Yeah, Wonder Woman would be ashamed of you.
Lex: Who cares about Wonder Woman?
Tai: Well, Batman, obviously.
Moon: Wrong comic, Tai.
Tai: Same company. :\
Moon: This isn't a Superman/Batman crossover!
Tai: Well, it ought to be. Batman would turn this into a party.
Lex: Not on my yacht, he wouldn't!
Moon: Don't you have lines to be saying?
Kitty Kowalski: So we're stealing fire?
Moon: That's Lex's new girlfriend
Moon: -snickers- Your last name is Kowalski.
Kitty: So what?
Tai: Reminds me of Mike Wazowski?
Moon: Y'know, from Monsters Inc.
Tai: Never mind. Move on.
Lex continues talking as if he wasn't interrupted.
Lex: Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind.
Tai: That's not God!
Moon: That's Superman, silly.
Tai: God doesn't need a cape to be cool.
The camera moves through Superman's icy Fortress of Solitude.
Tai: AKA his Emo Corner.
Moon: I won't deny that's a pretty lame name for a Fortress. Why not something like… The Fortress of Style?
Tai: That's Mick St. John's apartment.
Tai: You know. The Vampire from Moonlight.
Tai: Never mind.
Moon: How 'bout the Fortress of Awesome?
Tai: Superman and "awesome" don't really go together.
Narrator3: I'm trying to narrate here!
Tai: Fine then, Grumpy McGrumperson.
Moon: I think Superman needs to hire a new interior designer.
Tai: Totally. Crystal formations were so 2008.
Moon: Well, this movie was made-
Tai: Shut up! It's still out of style.
Narrator3: I give up. I quit.
Moon: Why does that keep happening?!
Tai: When do I get to make fun of Superman to his face? For a movie about him, there's a distinct lack of Supermanness for the first twenty minutes or so.
Moon: Soon. Soon. I promise.
Tai: These scenes are boring. Fast forward!
Moon: Okay! Okay! –grabs remote-