TOTALLY RANDOM! AND PERVERTED! Because Axel is at his best when he is perverted.

^.^ Anyway, this idea came from the title...it was a phrase I called my friend's boyfriend once. He was a promiscuous little gay boy.

Warning: Fluff...Yaoi...The Almighty Perverted Axel...

Disclaimer: After extensive searching of each game box, I found no contract declaring I was the owner of Kingdom Hearts...yet...

So...here it is...a random drabble about Axel, Demyx and Roxas.

ENJOY!

Poster Child For Nymphomania

Picture this.

Axel and Demyx were sat at the kitchen table, in the Castle That Never Was having a break from their missions. Axel was lounging back in his chair, setting random things on fire, only to have Demyx extinguish them moments later.

Both were incredibly bored Nobodies, who were all alone in the Castle as everyone else was on a mission. Except from one.

Roxas. Who was sat with them.

Now, have Axel and Demyx so deep in conversation that they forgot Roxas was sat there and so ended up having a conversation with this starting line:

"I'd do Roxas."

To clarify...it was Axel who said this. The poster child for nymphomania and possibly manys S.T.I.s as well.

Roxas twitched as heard this.

He was sat right there.

"Why?" Demyx asked.

"Hello! He looks freakin' gorgeous...his eyes, his hair, his voice and most importantly...his ass."

Right. There. How could they miss him?

"Axel, you're a pervert. You know that right?"

"C'mon Dem, are you telling me you wouldn't bang that skinny piece of hot ass?"

His fist's clenched up and his anger levels were rising. How could they talk about him when he was in the room with them?

"Well no...he's my friend. I don't exactly screw my friends."

"One word, Demyx: Zexion."

"We were not friends! We were...acquaintances."

"Whatever. You two were friends and you know it. Anyway, back to the topic at hand...I would so do Roxas..."

Honestly! Were they blind? Did they just not see him there?

"Okay, but would Roxas do you?"

NO! Roxas' mind screamed.

"Yeah! He would love it...I'd have him screaming my name all night long..."

"Right...now would he be screaming with pleasure or would he be screaming because you're raping him?" Demyx asked dryly.

"You can't rape the willing," Axel responded with a shrug.

It was offical. They were blind. They were as blind as...very blind things. Like bats. Or Xigbar.

"Axel, have you made it your life's mission to screw everyone in the Organization?"

"Don't be silly! I wouldn't dream of having sex with Lexeaus or Xaldin. Everyone else though is fine..."

"Right..."

Roxas could hear a tiny Vexen-like voice whispering to him: beware your blood pressure...calm down...blood pressure!

Although that tiny voice could hardly hear because a louder Marluxia-like voice was saying: kill them! kill them both!, not to mention the tiny Larxene-like cheerleader cries of encouragement.

Great. It was all clear to him now...he was insane.

Blood pressure...blood pressure...

Kill them! Kill them!

Shut up Marluxia!

Make me Vexen!

Roxas' eyes snapped open as the Vexen in his mind pounced upon the Marluxia in his mind, disturbing noises issuing from both sides.

...he had been in the Organization for way too long...it's only been two weeks as well!

"God...I bet he's like it rough too...he's a little minx under all that prudish behaviour, I'm telling you!"

"Too much Axel...and anyway, how do you know? Has he told you?"

"He doesn't need to, I can just tell..."

"Yeah, until the opportunity for you to screw him comes up an-"

"That won't be the only thing to come up!" Axel interrupted with a cackle.

Demyx rolled his eyes and sighed. Oh...how he pitied poor Roxas.

Speaking of poor Roxas, the blonde had been wondering how long it would take before Axel crossed the line and what sort of perverted comment it would take for him to cross the line.

"I wonder how big he is..." Axel mused.

...

Line crossed!

"Will you stop talking about me!" He snapped.

Both Axel and Demyx jumped and tensed up at the sound of the blonde's angry tone.

"Shit! Roxy...where did you come from?" Demyx asked with nervous laughter.

"Ah fuck. Did you listen to all of that?" Axel asked with fear lacing his voice.

"Of course I did!" Roxas hissed.

"How?"

"I'm sat inbetween you!"

Yeah...good luck trying to get Roxas into bed Axel. ^.^

Hehehe...I love him. I truly, ruly do! Especially when he's all perverted and sappy and stuff...over Roxas though.

Anyways, methinks that someone should try and write a one-shot about Axel's pervertedness...'tis fun you know! ^.^

So, review perty please! ^.^ Kingdom Hearts is offically my favourite fandom as I have written more stories for this than any other fandom of mine.

Including Harry Potter! *Le Gasp* Also the reviewers are just so kick-ass...seriously...they are...

Love City Girl

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