nothing's more embarrassing…
by: aNdreaa

-&-

"…why the hell are there so many brands?"

Shikamaru stared blankly at a pale lavender box he was holding.

"I mean, seriously," Naruto continued as he scanned the entire aisle with quick blue eyes. "Why? Is one brand like, better than the other?"

"Just don't get any generic brands," Neji grunted. "Those are cheap."

"Kotex," Shikamaru said at last, nodding at the box in his hand. "She definitely said Kotex. I remember this logo."

"Yeah," Naruto interjected, "but even when you've got the right brand, what kind do we get? Geez, this is so complicated. What the freakin' freakity freak is a Maxi Pad?"

Shikamaru opened his mouth and then closed it promptly, frowning at the shelf of Kotex. He definitely did not remember the kind that Ino used. Shopping for bras had to be easier than this.

Naruto was now reading every label aloud. "Thin, Ultra Thin, Overnight with Wings, Long Super, oh my god there's a whole other type! What are tampons? I thought there were just pads. Wait, do you think Hinata uses these or…these?"

Naruto grabbed two different boxes and showed them questioningly to Neji who grew bright red. "The hell if I know, Naruto!" he said, almost outraged. "You're the one living with her."

The blonde reconsidered for a moment before he set one box down and tore open the other. Shikamaru and Neji whipped toward him, shocked.

"Don't open it, you dumbass!"

"Why? I'm just looking—"

"You open it, you buy it—"

Naruto had a tampon in his hands already though, studying the wrapper. "It looks like a biscotti wrapper or something."

"Dude. Biscotti is way fatter."

"I'm just saying."

"Don't open it! You know what it looks like! It's a-a stick. Just pick one, geez."

"Hey," Naruto said defensively. "You're the one that's been here for twenty minutes already. Tenten's going to be pissed."

"I'm getting a back up box," Neji sneered. "So it's not urgent. Unlike you."

"And me," Shikamaru said offhandedly, raising another box- this time, baby blue. "Hey, you think if I got Super Plus, she'd be offended?"

Neji pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I don't know, guys. I'm not the one living with them, am I."

"Hn."

The three males turned toward the source of a new voice, preparing to either blush if it was another female shopper or run for it if it was someone they knew.

It was Sasuke. So they stayed put.

Shikamaru coughed awkwardly and tried not to make eye contact.

"Sup, brethren," Naruto piped up. "Getting…um…stuff? Us too. Wow, it's weird that they all got their 'end-of-a-delarative-sentence' at the same time, huh?"

Sasuke didn't pause or stay to chat, though. Getting straight to business, he reached a long arm over Shikamaru's shoulder and grabbed the correct box.

Naruto almost gaped at his lack of hesitation. What- was he an expert?

"Sasuke!" he said, shocked. "Wow…that was…quick…"

"Hn."

The Uchiha turned away, not really desiring to be seen in the Aisle of Feminine Products longer than was necessary, and made his way to check-out.

Naruto, Shikamaru, and Neji all peered at his back as he casually and without any trace of embarrassment placed the box on the check-out counter. It was promptly followed by a box of chocolates and a pint of ice cream.

"Ugh," Neji scoffed, disgusted at the display of sugar-dripping chivalry.

"Oh, he's just milking it so he can get some," Naruto said bitterly, still having not made his choice between the two boxes.

"Yeah, but he's going to have to wait three to seven days."

-&-

I don't even know, guys. Was this cringe-worthy or what?

Girls, raise your hands if you've made your man do this. It's embarrassing on one side for them…but if they go through with it, they are getting a round of applause from me. The work of a true gentleman.