|Edward Cullen: Purse Snatcher
Author: ericastwilight PM
Edward is dared to do something stupid by his cousin Emmett. "Yeah, but do you think we should've told him that she's the police chief's daughter?" One stolen purse leads to so much more. E/B OOC-AHRated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Edward & Bella - Chapters: 26 - Words: 91,439 - Reviews: 3,914 - Favs: 2,932 - Follows: 2,406 - Updated: 09-13-11 - Published: 08-22-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5322679
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Edward Cullen: Purse Snatcher
Chapter One – The Dare
Betaed by lisa89, thanks love
Emmett and I watched from the cafe window as Edward pulled on a pair of sunglasses and pulled the hood of his jacket up.
"Dude, do you think he's going to go through with it?" Emmett asked, watching the scene play out before us. "Steal her purse, I mean."
"Well, it's not like you gave him much of choice," I said as I watched Edward cross the street. He approached a young woman with long, dark hair window-shopping further down the street.
"Yeah, but do you think we should've told him that she's the police chief's daughter?" he asked.
I laughed; of course we could've told him, but where was the fun in that?
Edward Cullen had just moved from Chicago with his parents Edward Senior and Elizabeth Cullen. He was related, unfortunately, to Emmett who was his cousin. Though Edward had managed to get his own apartment to attend school at SU, Emmett bagged on him relentlessly.
Edward was young, impressionable, and somewhat of a book nerd. He had to do anything he could to gain his overzealous cousin's respect. It was all in good fun, and no one got hurt. Besides, the kid could hold his own against Emmett and me.
In fact, last month he somehow welded our car doors shut – payback for when Emmett and I replaced all his clothes with items in pink or yellow while visiting him in Chicago.
Sure, Edward could've gone out and bought a whole new wardrobe. However, when he went to Neiman Marcus in a pink muscle shirt and pink board shorts, all he had in his wallet was Monopoly money and fake credit cards.
He had been mortified, and we had it on film. In a way, we deserved it for dressing him in pink (it clashed with hair), but we'd ate almost two thousand dollars to fix our cars – each.
So we'd given him a choice: cough up the money, since we did return his clothes, or take a dare, no matter how stupid. We had given him two choices for a dare, and he had chosen to snatch a purse.
The other had been gross.
Now Emmett and I watched from Café Roadhouse as Edward made his way toward Bella Swan. She was a newbie to the area, too.
Alice, Emmett's sister and my girlfriend, was so going to kick my ass for this, because Bella was her friend. She believed that her cousin and Bella were meant to be together.
What better way to introduce them? Man, dinner tonight at Edward's was going to be epic. We were all supposed to go over and Alice was bringing Bella.
This was going to be good.
Edward had had us choose his unsuspecting victim, and we'd had agreed to meet up at his place in an hour. We wanted to watch the fun before we took off.
Edward stood on the sidewalk clenching his fists, seemingly psyching himself up. He walked over to a column beside Pat's Barber Shop, just down the street from Bella. He was trying to blend in or something, because he kept looking around, before ducking behind some building. He looked fucking ridiculous and seriously drawing attention to himself.
I wondered if he was humming his own theme song as he dashed behind a FedEx mailbox.
"What do you think is going to happen?" Emmett asked, taking out his wallet.
I laughed and said, "Oh, she's going to scream and kick him in the balls."
Emmett laughed and nodded. "I think she'll scream and kick him in the ass," he said, taking out two hundred dollars and handing them to me. "Two hundred says he takes it in the ass."
"Two hundred says he takes in the sack."
We watched with rapt attention as he approached Bella and swept his hand to grab her purse. She held on to the purse as she swung away, hitting Edward in the back, kneeing him in the balls and kicking him in the ass.
Edward, the ever-persistent fucknut, grabbed for her purse again and took off running down the street. Bella ran right behind him, screaming obscenities and throwing each of her shoes at him.
Emmett and I ran outside to see where they were headed, when suddenly Bella grabbed someone's umbrella and started beating Edward over the head with it.
Damn, she was fast.
We lost sight of the both of them about two blocks over as they ran into an alley.
I looked over at Emmett and said, "Draw."
He nodded. "Draw."