Well, it’s finally here.. Not sure what you‘ll think about it.. And I know it‘s taken me sometime to write it but I‘ve just been too busy with sorting out college, and money problems.. And living conditions. Thank you all for waiting though and I hope I don‘t put you down too much with this new chapter, since it did take me some time to finally post it..

Diaries

Ren’s POV: 20/08/09

Letting out a heavy sigh, I walked back into the bedroom, Pirika was still sound asleep. Good, because I honestly couldn’t handle anymore of this torture, I have to get out of this damn stuffy house and just have some time to myself and forget that damn Ainu. I nodded to myself, as I pulled on my jumper trying to be as quiet as I possibly could, but then.. eeeek, I cringed, as the stupid noisy closet door had shut with a hell of a noise, and there as if on queue she rose from her slumber. ‘Great.. Just great.’

“Ren?” She rubbed her eyes gently and tried ever so hard to focus on my every movement. “What.. Are you doing?”

I couldn’t believe my luck, I mean honestly how worse could this day get. “I’m going out.. Just go back to sleep alright” I turned to head to the door, but suddenly I felt something hit the back of my head, which caused me to stop in my tracks and turn round to the angry Ainu that sat on the bed. Raising a brow I looked down to my feet where my pillow lay, she threw a pillow at me?! ‘Oh boy..’ I sighed again and looked back to her angry expression. “Pirika.. Don’t you think that was a little childish!” I didn’t need this right now, I had to get out this house no matter what.

“Ren, you can’t just tell me your going out, and tell me to go to sleep!” by this point she had already pulled on her clothes, boy that was truly fast. She came right up to me, standing on the pillow and taking my hands.. This was always an issue, I always fell for this part but not today, today I had other things on my mind and I wasn’t going to let Pirika change what I was feeling and had to do. So, I forcefully pulled away from her, narrowing my eyes I just shot her a nasty look I had to do something to show her that I wasn’t taking anything from anyone anymore and I just had to go out by myself. And there it was, that look of sudden realisation and slight hurt. She stepped back away from me and her eyes started to water up, ‘Drama Queen’ rolling my eyes I turned back to the door.

“As I said, I’m going out.. Now just go back to bed” And without even given her a second chance to say anything or stop me, I was heading down the stairs, pausing a moment as I saw Horo in the kitchen. That idiot was always so hungry, as if he never cared for anyone. Looking away slightly upset I headed to the door and out the house. It was bliss as the fresh air hit me in the face, that crisp cold smell that always meant that winter was nearing, as though it was just around the corner. Rubbing my fingers together I held them up to my mouth and gently blew on them. Then began my journey, god knows where I was going as long as it was anywhere far away from the inn and the others and especially him.

A couple of hours had passed, and I had eventually found a place to sit, under a tree. I know, stupid huh… stealing this idea from Yoh it did help me think about a few things and clear my mind, but also looking out at the water that I could vaguely see in the distance gave me a calming feeling.. Water and the fresh smell of winter approaching reminded me so much of the Ainu. Faintly smiling I pulled my legs into my chest and closed my eyes, and for the first time in a long time I let my mind wonder free, free to do as it wanted. And to no surprise it was him.. All about him, us talking, us laughing, us fighting and us together, holding hands and well being the perfect world in my mind.. Others would disagree and I wasn’t willing to hurt Pirika. How could you tell your girlfriend that you’re not in love with her but her brother.

I don’t know what I thought but sitting looking out at the scenery just made me relax, and unfortunately for me my guard was down and my observation. I hadn’t realised that he was standing there watching me, he had said my name a few times but I was just too in my own little world that I never heard him. Until I felt his body near mine, his hand upon mine and I closed my eyes tightly imagining us together again. I thought this was all a dream holding him close to me again. Until.. “Ren, Pirika’s worried about you”

‘Pirika’ and just like that. I suddenly snapped out my daze, and turning to face him. His eyes were fixed upon me, but when my eyes locked onto his I could feel my face flushing and I couldn’t stop it. “Pir..ika”

He raised his brow and gave me such a worried look “What’s up Ren? You seem.. Kinda out of it”

I tried saying something but I just couldn’t stop looking and concentrating on the worried look in Horo’s eyes. Was that worry for me.. or his sister.. Suddenly my heart jumped an extra beat and I started to feel so sick, what.. Is this feeling why was this happening.

Horo sat down next to me and I could see his lips moving but I couldn’t hear anything. All I could do was sit and look down at the grass. Trying to stop this burning sensation in my heart, but what surprised me the most was the fact that I hadn’t noticed that my vision was starting to become blurry, and my eyes were getting more wet. ‘am.. I.. crying..’. I tightly gripped onto my trousers, Horo continued to talk, scratch his head and look away from me. I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t move my legs.. And my body just wouldn’t move ‘Leave..’ I.. can’t, I just can’t move ‘Get up.. Now’ By this point some water had escaped from the sides of my eyes and down my cheeks, ‘why are you crying?’

This stupid feeling, stupid way I act around you, why can’t I just be left in peace this isn’t how I feel, I don’t love you I don’t.. I know I don’t.. I had suddenly forgotten all about the tears that had escaped from the cages of my eyes. However Horo hadn’t forgotten about my tears when I felt this warm hand grip onto mine tightly and those words that made everything seem like, yes it really would be alright.

“Don’t worry Ren..” Don’t worry.. Yes don’t worry I have nothing to worry about especially when you’re here, because I’m always happen when you’re here..

“Don’t worry cause, I’m sure Pirika will take you back” and, there at that moment my heart had shattered. Pirika… Pirika.. that’s all he thought about.. Pirika and I.. not him and I.. but her and I. ‘Why.. Can’t you just tell me that you love me’

Well I hope that wasn’t too much of a disappointment, I kept on getting side tracked, and having writers block. Bah, no excuses huh! Haha ^_^ and I know it’s smaller then the last one but I think this will be a bit more of an easier read haha.

The chapter I realise as well got really long, so I’ve decided to put Horo’s POV in the next chapter and see how it all works out after that.

Please RxR.. And as always, Horo and Ren foreva and eva!