|Duran and Kiyohime's Omake Theater
Author: DezoPenguin PM
Featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets! A collection of random drabbles and gags with chibi versions of the Childs livening up their masters' lives. Some ShizNat lurking in the background.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Natsuki K. & Shizuru F. - Chapters: 57 - Words: 42,125 - Reviews: 747 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 06-15-13 - Published: 08-23-09 - id: 5325335
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater
(featuring a Kuga-Fujino family pet)
"Could someone please explain just what the hell I'm doing here? Wearing this?"
Natsuki tugged at the hem of her bright red, trimmed-with-fake-white-fur miniskirt. No magic caused it to lengthen beyond its barely-legal size. About all that could be said for it was that it matched the bare-midriff top, red leggings, pointed red tassel cap, and spike-heeled black boots.
"Ara," Shizuru Fujino, wearing an identical get-up, showed no signs of agitation. "I do not believe that profanity is appropriate when dressed as Santa Claus and doing charitable work."
"And it's for a good cause," Mai remarked, handing a leaflet to a passerby. The costumes were apparently one-size-fits-all, so the redhead got more coverage out of the skirt but was showing more stomach due to how the fabric of her top was otherwise occupied.
"Natsuki's generous heart demanded that she support a friend and help make people happy on Christmas."
"Generous heart my butt. One, Nao's not my friend, and two, I didn't volunteer, I just gave in to stop you from whining and making those puppy eyes at me."
Shizuru giggled, and was immediately echoed by Mai.
"Fuuka Chapel's annual Christmas food drive does a lot of good for the poor in this area every year. Especially during the winter, people need nutritious meals and warm shelter."
"And the fact that you get to see me dressed up like some porn-star Santa about to deliver the naughty list had nothing to do with it," Natsuki told her girlfriend dryly.
"Ara, does Natsuki suspect that I had licentious intentions when I asked Nao if we could return the costumes in a couple of days?"
"I suspect you of licentious intentions when you're flossing your teeth."
"Hey, ladies, less chit-chat! These benefit dinner tickets aren't going to sell themselves!"
They all turned to see Nao, formally attired in her nun's habit, coming up behind them.
"And quit whining," she added. "Sex sells. Between your legs, carrot-top's boobs, and Fujino's...Fujino-ness...you catch people's attention, and then once you've got them reeled in, bam! You hit them up for everything you can get."
"Just like when you and Julia used to rob people, huh, Sister?"
"Previous experience with the techniques just makes me more effective in doing the Lord's work," Nao said archly.
"Oh, so then if you've got all that experience, why aren't you out here freezing your legs off?"
"You would have a holy Sister of the Church display her body in lewd and provocative fashion? For shame! Truly, the passions of youth have corrupted your soul."
Natsuki ground her teeth.
"Remind me to kill you later."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. But for right now, how about you guys show a little more enthusiasm? The three of you together have taken in less in donations than she has all by herself."
Nao pointed to the fourth female lined up in their group. Kiyohime, with wreaths around each neck and Santa caps on each head, was busy collecting donations, handing out leaflets, and selling tickets. A steady stream of money was pouring into the hydra's kettle.
"Well, what do you expect? Even using one to ring the bell, that still leaves her five heads compared to our three."
~X X X~
A/N: See, I promised that Chapter 50 wouldn't be the last one! And I just have to say, Nao is really a godsend for a comedy writer.