Under Construction

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokemon, a creation of one Satoshi Tajiri, and is produced domestically (in the United States) by Pokemon USA/The Pokemon Company, and internationally by Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, MediaNet and OLM. I personally own nothing and make nothing by writing this. Please do not flame.

(Chapter 2- Swear to God)

Parents make mistakes. This is a very clear statement; obvious to the conscious mind, but often dismissed due to alleged common sense. Julia Cruz-Marin falls directly underneath that lengthy category of those who acted before they thought and the result of it is her only offspring, her thirteen-year-old daughter that just opened up about being gay, wailing on the floor of her bedroom and continuously asking why she couldn’t keep her promise as her mother.

It played out in her mind many times and the scenario always ended the same way. Kelly would come to either her, her father, Erik, or both of them and ask if they would love her even if things didn’t turn out the way either of them expected for their girl. The answer would always be the same the first time or the twentieth; they promised that no matter what, they would love and support their only child.

While most kids would take this with a smile, hug and kiss and move on from there, Kelly was not as satisfied with such meaningful but frequent actions. In fact, most times she would not leave her parents alone and get back to studies without them swearing to God above that they would stick by their word and not leave her no matter what happened in her life. The result was the same as Erik and Julia would both raise their right hands and swear to their Holy Father that they would not leave her to fend for herself before the time came when it was feasible for her to branch out on her own.

At the moment, Julia is kicking herself for forgetting all of this in the midst of her daughter’s struggles with feelings that her family has secretly gone through in generation’s past and present. She’s still with shame, unable to move as she forgot what she had no problem promising her daughter when all was going well. Now, in the center of her struggle, she finds herself unable to lift a finger in assistance. All she sees is her daughter not letting up in her tears and she can’t bear to see it. It’s making her cry knowing that’s she’s making Kelly cry. She finds it difficult to even look and covers her face with her right hand, using the yellow bandana in her brunette hair to wipe her tears away for only a second.

She has to make amends for her mistake and there is no better time for that than right here and right now. Kneeling down, the plus-sized retired army veteran shows her soft side that none of her colleagues in the military would ever see. Her mission is to do what she should’ve done a few minutes before her daughter’s breakdown. This time, she gets down on the floor with the young teen and holds Kelly tight, refusing to let go for any reason.

Kelly doesn’t want to face the same woman that gave her life. It’s a paradox the likes of which she wouldn’t wish on her own worst enemy. Julia won’t have it though. If it will take a lifetime to rebuild her reputation in the eyes of her daughter and help her understand that her mom and dad will always be there, she’ll do it.

“Mom, stop acting like you care,” Kelly remarks. “I can’t take it if you let me go again.”

Shaking her head, she’s determined to redeem herself in the eyes of this girl. “Kelly, oh my dear Kelly. I shouldn’t have done that to you,” she admits while drying the tears of the young girl. “I…it was a shock to hear that, though, you have to admit. I…it’s a bad excuse, I know, but I forgot. I honestly forgot the promise that I made to you and God, dear. We talked about this so much I didn’t ever think that this would happen.”

“You didn’t want to think it, mom! That’s the problem!” Kelly argues.

“And you’re right,” Julia quickly agrees. “I didn’t ever want to think that my only child had these feelings and seriously thought that she’s gay.”

“Well, it’s happened, mom!” Kelly says. “All the praying that I’ve done over the past six years has given me all these answers. All of the people that I’ve spoken to about this in college and the people that I have crushes on make me feel that this is real! So I can say, with absolute confidence, that I’m a lesbian! It’s not a choice that I made—how could I make such a profound and life-altering choice like that at such a young age? It doesn’t happen that way, mom!” Kelly is giving it her all and doing her best to follow what the voice from earlier told her when it said ‘show them your heart’.

“Maybe you’re right,” Julia says, wanting to learn as much as she can from this time. “A part of me…doesn’t want to understand, though. I think that’s one of the biggest problems that I have with this outside of what’s in the bible.”

“Mom, what’s in the bible has been nothing but interpretations since it went from language to language,” Kelly refutes. “That’s not the scholar Kelly Cruz-Marin talking as much as it is the sensible Christian talking, mom, and even if you consider me an enemy of yours after all of this because that’s what the bible says, then so be it.”

“Now, wait a minute, Kelly…”

“I refuse,” Kelly interrupts, “to be kept on a leash for the rest of this life and not know the feeling of what makes me happy even if it’s at a determent to my everlasting soul. I think people would do much better in this life if they felt that actually living it wasn’t such a terrible, god-awful thing to do!”

“Okay, that’s fine if you think that way,” Julia says, finding common ground with her daughter, “but why do you get the feeling that because you…really believe this and don’t think it’s a choice that that suddenly makes you and I enemies? I’m your mother!”

“But that’s what the bible says, right, and that’s what you follow as your guide mom. Isn’t that true?” she throws back at her mother. “It does say that children would turn their back on their own parents and that means that they would become one another’s enemies. Does that sort of mirror our own situation at the moment?”

“Well,” Julia begins, not really knowing how to answer Kelly’s question, “not every case is the same, dear! I—I just…me dropping you when you told me that you’re gay was not something that I planned. It was a shock that I didn’t expect and I reacted like a shocked person would, but just because I let go doesn’t mean that I don’t care anymore. Nothing could possibly be further from the truth. I came back to get you after all, didn’t I?”

“Well…” Before Kelly can answer her mother, another person comes through the doors to enter her room. It’s her father, who she would gather hasn’t heard any of these daughter-to-mother revelations.

“What’s the deal with all of the commotion?” Erik asks as he sees his wife on the floor with Kelly. “I would’ve come up sooner, but I had to wrap up some business on the phone. Why are both of you on the floor like this?”

“Erik,” Julia proceeds to answer, “I really think you should sit down right now.”

“No, not until I get some answers!”

“Dad,” Kelly opens, standing up to face her father. “I just told mom something…and I really need your support. I need both of you and the three of us to just…sit down and talk about this and pray and speak with other families dealing with this so that we don’t end up resenting one another because you might think differently than mom.”

“Kelly, what are you talking about?”

She hesitates for a moment before feeling a hand on her shoulder. It’s the hand of her mother, who nods in her direction and says, “Just tell him, Kelly. You worked, reminded me of what I once said, and you do indeed have my support. Now just tell your father and we can all sit down and really discuss this.”

Her head is down, but only for a second as Kelly looks at the tanned face of her dad and then the cobalt blue eyes before mustering up the courage to do the impossible one more time. “Well, dad, I…just told mom that the likelihood of me bringing home any boys or young men to you is…it will never happen because I don’t like guys. They do nothing for me. I’m…gay.”

“Oh, my God,” Erik exclaims, turning away, but for just a moment. Taking hold of the shoulders of his only child, he asks Kelly, “You’re sure about this? You’re absolutely sure of what you just said?”

“Yes, dad,” Kelly answers, fighting back tears while she does so. “I really am, and I need the support of both of you during this time.”

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Erik says the words, “You have it, Kelly. I promised you it and that’s something I’m gonna stick with.”

“I remembered that promise only after Kelly reminded me of all the times she pressed us with it, dear,” Julia admits. “I made a mistake of reacting negatively towards it even through her tears and mortification, but not anymore.”

Turning her daughter around, Julia also makes this point. “Look, Kelly…there were a lot of things I said in the past out of anger, spite and a lot of ignorance. Over time, though, I think I realized what type of love I should truly show. Jesus never raised a fist or cursed those he disagreed with…and neither should I, especially to my own child.”

“I think we all did a lot more…growing over the years,” Erik admits. “Now…this stays in the house, all right?”

Julia and Kelly agree to Erik’s conditions and he decides to reveal something that only select members of the Marin family, on his side, know. “My brother Sascha has had to deal with some issues with his son. Kelly, he was…frightened because…your cousin, Paul, is in the closet but he thinks that his father doesn’t know this. He thinks that Reggie doesn’t know this, either.”

“How is Uncle Sascha so sure of this, though?”

“He’s seen Paul…having oral sex with another boy while they were in his house,” Erik admits to the first, second and only people he intends to tell this news to. The shock upon their faces was clear as crystal and his brother’s concerns were just the same. “Maylene Traylor, the gym leader in his city, called my brother to tell him that he’s used her gym as a place to have sex with other boys threatening her if she told anyone about his actions. I don’t want that to be you, Kelly. You don’t have to hide anything from us, but because my brother’s hands are tied given that Paul doesn’t live near him anymore, he doesn’t know what to do without violating his trust given that he’s told a few people in confidence.”

Erik seriously does not want that same thing to happen to Kelly and for her to rebel because she knows no other way to handle her feelings. Tearfully, he says to her “I…it doesn’t matter what happens, Kelly. I want you to be happy. Paul isn’t happy and because of that, his brother and father aren’t happy, either. If they’re in that much of a shambles, I’d be a fool to let it happen in my home. So…while I don’t particularly agree with it and neither does your mother, I’m not turning my back on you for one second, Kelly. I’ve put too much time into you to leave you right now when you’re clearly hurting. So I’m gonna put as much love into this as I can. I can’t say I’ll understand everything or agree with everything, but I will keep my heart open for you and only you.”

“That’s all I ask, dad,” Kelly speaks, tears of joy now emanating from her eyes as she truly knows what showing someone their heart will do. At the moment, she has her mom hugging her from behind and her father taking care of her in an embrace from her front. While faith might have caused a momentary but impactful rift in their relationship, it now serves in a role as a guiding force in this family of three going forward in knowing the heartfelt plea of the youngest one.

“Well get through this, Kelly,” Erik assures his daughter.

“We have to do it together, though,” his wife adds, “so…any suggestions that you might have and we don’t think of, bring them up, Kelly. We…we’re willing to hear things you have and to better know your standpoint.”

“I’m willing to go to counseling, too,” Erik admits. “I think family counseling would actually be good. We can let out some steam the right way.”

“If it means I get to keep you two here with me as long as I can, I’m willing,” Kelly states to both parents. “I swear to God I’ll do anything if it means that much to have you two by my side.”

“You have us, Kelly. We don’t plan on going anywhere,” her father assures her while they rock back and forth. That whole afternoon was a sign of it truly being the case in some small way as the three just talked about problems and issues on their mind concerning Kelly’s admission, how others will honestly take this news and clarification on certain points that Julia made in past discussions.

It made for fine conversation, but given that Rome was neither built nor destroyed in a day, it could only be the start of something great or gruesome on the horizon for this family in crisis.

A/N: More to come and the meeting of Kelly and Marina is due soon, as well!

Until next time, I am Rave!