Who Wants to be Kissed by The Boy-Who-Lived?

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and information do not belong to this author. They belong to J.K. Rowling. So don't sue me… please…

"Tomorrow," bellowed Dumbledore's voice, "we shall have a most queer contest! Please wake up early and get to breakfast for tomorrow will be a long day!" and he grinned and winked at someone and left the dining hall with the other teachers.

The next day…

"Welcome! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this evening's special show—Who Wants to be Kissed By The Boy-Who-Lived!"

-loud cheers and cries-

"Our contestants for this evening are, please step out."

Eight students came out by twos in Yellow, Blue, Green and Red robes.

"From loyal Hufflepuff: Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones!" Two blushing girls stepped forward and behind yellow panels.

"From clever Ravenclaw: Terry Boot and Cho Chang!" Two more girls stepped behind the blue panels, blue robes flowing down like water.

"From brawny Gryffindor: Hermione Granger and Natalie McDonald!" a headstrong girl with bushy brown hair held another girl's shaky hand and brought her up behind the red panels.

"From cunning Slytherin: Blaise Zabini and—" the host paused and stared. He made an action and walked over to a professor.

"Are you sure about this? I mean…" the host said frantically. The professor shrugged and waved him off.

"You're the one who wanted this… I mean, am I correct? Minerva?" the professor with fancy glasses and strange ornaments hung around her robes said wryly.

"Yes, she is right, Gilderoy. You were the one that requested this…" the emerald-robed teacher smirked.

"Humph!" the blonde-haired, white-toothed man in sparkling violet robes pouted and went back in front of the audience in the Great Hall.

"From Slytherin," Gilderoy Lockhart gulped, "Blaise Zabini and—and Draco Malfoy!" his voice cracked. A girl came forward with slightly oriental eyes and fair skin. She turned around and held out her hand and beckoned someone to come after her. A glum-looking blonde boy slumped forward with his eyes firmly fixed on the floor.

"So then," Lockhart called out, "The first event is the dueling round! Contestants please come with me to the arena."

Flags flitted in the strong gale as the clouds flew by. The crowd cheered wildly up in the stands, the Quidditch stands. A tall, large platform floated in mid-air and the host stood on top of it with the eight contestants standing on it as well.

"The pairings are as follows: Abbott and Zabini; Chang and—and Malfoy; Granger and Boot; and McDonald and Bones. Please go to your respective positions. Abbot and Zabini shall start first."

Zabini quickly threw a jinx at Abbott that quickly sent her flying near the edge of the platform. The crowd booed mostly while others cheered… Abbott got to her feet and put an engorgement curse on Zabini, sending her struggling onto her belly on the platform. Zabini didn't give up yet. She snarled out an Incendio and flames sparked all around Abbott, frightening her off the platform and into the nets bellow.

Boo's and hisses came all around the three houses while a house cheered out triumphantly. Blaise Zabini bowed and waved and made her way back with a professor, towards the hospital wing to get rid of the engorgement curse on her.

"Wonderful! Splendid!" Gilderoy Lockhart clapped. "Chang and Malfoy, to the platform!" he shook his head while going off the platform as the students went up.

Chang yelled Stupefy but Draco quickly drew out his wand and a gold flame shot out of his wand tip. It shot at the sparks of the stupefy and sent Cho Chang across the ground. She staggered to stand and screamed Expelliarmus at Draco but again, the sly wizard blocked and reversed the spell. Chang's wand went flying off the platform and she stepped back in fear. Draco smirked at her and raised his wand and yelled, Serpensortia and a black snake swiftly coiled out of the wand tip and leaped at Cho. It quickly coiled around her struggling body and began squeezing tightly, Chang screaming and whimpering with pain. Draco smiled slyly to himself and muttered a spell and the black snake disappeared slowly. Chang fell to the platform's floor, clutching her sides and breathing hard. Madame Pomfrey came running towards her and conjured up a carrier and brought her with her to the Hospital wing. The crowd stared in shock and a few clapped softly.

"Err… Quite… quite a calm way of dueling!" Lockhart chuckled weakly. He cleared his throat roughly and said, "Granger and Boot!" a roar of cheers came—a mixture of Godly Granger and Brilliant Boot's.

The duel lasted only a short time since Hermione Granger knew more spells, charms, hexes and jinxes in her books than anyone else in Hogwarts. Boot quickly fell down, completely drenched with gue and stiff as a board.

"That was fast!" Lockhart winked. "McDonald and Bones up next and last!"

Boot won surprisingly. It looked like she wanted either the kiss or revenge for Cho. She smashed McDonald with several jinxes and spells, sending the poor girl running off with boils growing on her arm, hairy warts welling up on her leg, bright red freckles on her cheeks and nose, and a black eye after an insult.

"Now remember, ladies and gentlemen, do not, I repeat, do NOT ever insult Ms. Boot with 'muggle-minded' or better yet, do not insult her at all!" he chuckled as a professor handed him a piece of paper. "So Ms. Zabini won the first, Ms.—err… Mr. Malfoy won the second round, Ms. Granger of course, and Ms. Boot as the fourth! A round of applause for the contestants!"

-a roar of approval and a few hisses nearly toppled over the stands-

"Now then, the question-answer round!" Lockhart bellowed with a game-show- host-like voice. He opened a thick folder with papers of different sizes and colors all stuck into it and flipped to a blue paper with light bulbs drawn onto it.

"What is Harry's favorite sweet?"

Hermione's wand lit up quickly. "Chocolate frogs, of course." She said.

"Wonderful!" Lockhart exclaimed as a point appeared in Hermione's empty box. "What is the name of Harry's mother?"

Boot's wand lit up first. "Lily, Lily Evans Potter."

"Very good!" Lockhart's smile broadened. "What is the name then, of Harry's father?"

Malfoy's wand lit up. "James Potter." He answered dully.

"Quite right!" Lockhart tried to sound positive. "Well… uhh… let me remind you, whoever reaches 5 correct answers first will… win…" he cleared his throat. "By what or how did He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named get rid of Mr. And Mrs. Potter?"

Malfoy's wand lit up again. "The Avade Kidavra curse—the curse of death." He nearly yawned.

"Correct!" Lockhart's voice nearly failed. "How did young Mr. Potter survive the dreadful curse?"

Hermione's wand lit up furiously. "Of 'love'. The love of his mother charmed him and it worked as a potent shield against the curse at that time."

"Very good, Ms. Granger!" Lockhart laughed in relief. "Whom did Mr. James Potter save once before?" his eyes twinkled.

A moment passed then Malfoy's wand lit up. "Severus Snape." He answered.

"Quite correct!" Lockhart sniggered while seeing the fury burning in Professor Snape's eyes. "What blood does Harry have?"

Hermione's wand and Draco's lit up at the same time. Hermione glanced at Draco with menacing eyes then looked to Lockhart. "Lady first or boy?" he looked at the others.

"I give Granger her chance." Malfoy said slyly.

"He's a pureblood." Hermione said proudly.

Lockhart's heart sank. He shook his head, saying, "he's not entirely pure nor half… his mother is a witch but her family isn't pure and… James' family is pure…"

"What?!" Hermione stared. "B—but!"

"I'm sorry, Hermione…" Lockhart shrugged. "Who are the last known relatives of Harry?"

Malfoy's wand lit up again. Hermione clenched her fist in fury. "The Durselys."

"Correct!" Lockhart's voice shook and cracked. "Their names?"

Draco sighed, "Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley."

"Correct…" Lockhart stared hard then shook his head. "Draco Malfoy—wins…" he said in a muffled voice.

There was complete silence. No one cheered/ booed/ hissed/ roared. No one could believe it.

"Err…" Lockhart stuttered. "I—I guess… no wait! D—Draco Malfoy will—will be the one—to kiss young Mr. Potter." He said grimly and walked off the platform.

Draco folded his arms and gave out a sigh. He started to walk off the platform as well but Hermione intervened.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Join."

"Just for fun…" Draco shrugged. "Listen, Granger, I have to get going now…" he said and pushed her out of the way.

"Just hold on!" Hermione grabbed Draco's arm.

"Let go!" Draco pulled away.

"You have to kiss Harry…"

"So what? It's just a stupid gimmick for him!"

"So?! It's the contest!" Hermione pushed him aside and stomped off the platform.

"Stupid git!" Draco snarled and walked up to where Harry Potter sat, fidgeting nervously and angrily in his seat. Ron Weasely also sat up there, trying to calm his friend down.

"So," Ron started, "the snake joined and won!" he growled.

"That's right. The mudblood couldn't keep up with me so I won…" Draco smirked.

"So what now? Are you really going to kiss Harry? Or are you too disgusted?" Ron said with narrowing eyes.

"Bloody fool…" Draco muttered while leaning over to the unsuspecting Harry and pushing him back a bit. Harry stared at him with a startled expression and tried to push him away but found out he couldn't.

"What the?" Harry stared.

"Such a bloody fool…" Draco grinned and gave Harry a deep but sarcastic kiss.

FINI.



Author's Note: It's weird……………….. Oh else………… (shrugs and walks away to upload more fics…)