Author's Notes: Wow, would you look at this? This is my first Supernatural fic. Well, the only one I've ever finished. XD

Written for 50_darkfics at LiveJournal. Theme 30: Chains. No slash! Contains spoilers for 3x16.

Disclaimer: Supernatural & any recognizable characters belong to Eric Kripke & the CW. The story is my own.

.love you dead.

Dean is dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

"What an ugly word."

Sam sat there on an old swing in an even older playground, turning the words over in his mind. Just three little words, infinitely uglier than the Other Three Words. The ones that were never said but always understood. He wished he'd said them more.

The more he ran through the words, analyzed each little letter, the more they lost their meaning. I love you. Dean is still dead. Still love you, Dean. I still love you dead, Dean.

Dean. Dead. Just one little letter makes a whole world of difference.

"It's been nine days." It's been a lifetime.

The setting sun painted the world a beautiful orange, the clouds streaking the sky in soft pinks and lavenders. The cookie cutter houses lining the street cast deep, identical shadows across the street, warm lights glowing through the windows of each home. Sam imagined things like game nights, dinner time, and birthdays. Tiny birds lined the cables of telephone poles chirping and hopping across the dipping cords.

It was the ugliest fuckin' thing Sam ever saw.

Nothing was worth second glances or appreciative looks anymore. So he looked down at his feet instead. Feet. Big feet. Sasquatch. Dean.

Sam sighed and looked out again, eyes open but not really seeing. A breeze passed through, making the vacant swings beside him sway back and forth. The ancient chain links creaked their protest to the slight movement, tiny fragments of rust breaking off and sailing away in the wind. Sam was surprised the seat he sat on didn't give out right under him.

The weary man followed the wind's lead and sat back on the seat and began to swing back and forth. His legs were much too long and he had to pull them in when he passed over the smelly mulch. He had to stop four minutes later when the entire swing set lurched perilously with the force of his movement ("Higher, Dean! I wanna go higher!" "I'm pushing as hard as I can, Squirt!") The moment Sam halted the swing underneath him, the link branching the chain to the bar snapped under the force of his weight and its age, dumping him unceremoniously to the ground.

"Surprise, surprise..."

A short, young woman carting a little girl and a littler boy arrived some time while Sam was lost in his (freaky) head. Her head snapped away from watching her boy squeal all the way down a yellow slide as Sam plopped to the ground, his head rattling the chains of the swing beside him on the way down. He hadn't moved long after the chains had stilled, making her concern skyrocket. Before she could approach him, the girl began to wail.

"Mommy! That big man broke my favorite swing!" Tears and snot smothered the glare she shot at Sam, who remained on the ground.

Slowly, wearily, he pulled himself to his feet, grasping the severed chain in a big hand. He stared dumbly at the broken link for a long moment, before looking at the inconsolable child, whose mother was kneeling in front of her, attempting to calm her down. The boy sat at the base of the slide, watching the exchange with big, confused eyes. Sam felt like he looked.

"Are you okay?" the woman finally said, turning up to meet his eyes. "I saw you take that fall--Mindy! Would you calm down? It's not the only swing in the park."

Sam was silent for a long moment. He watched the tears run down the tiny girl's face, her pigtails bobbing with the force of her cries.

"I'm sorry." He dropped the chain to the ground and left without another word. He didn't look back, even as the cries followed him home.

That night, Sam dreamt of hell. He saw Dean strung up at the center of a never-ending network of chains, screaming his name.

The chains didn't break.

Please review! I'd love to hear what you think. :)