|All in Good Fun
Author: Silent Magi PM
What happens when the past catches up with someone? Let's find out.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Angst - Naruto U. & Hinata H. - Chapters: 11 - Words: 24,563 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11-11-09 - Published: 09-02-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5351770
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Iruka looked down at the collection of bottles and cans in the box in front of him. This was one of the days he had been waiting for since the group had started. In about a week the students would be graduating, and it was time for a final prank. He had gotten permission from parents and legal guardians, made sure all the students had a nice and filling lunch, and finally cleared the rest of the afternoon. It was time to get the kids completely drunk.
This is technically classified as training the students to function while intoxicated, but most don't even get past the first drink. The only one that Iruka thought might be a problem was the Akimichi. They could store away alcohol like nobody's business.
Iruka looked up as the students filed in from lunch, each one looking curiously at the box before taking their seats. Once everyone was in, he began pulling out bottles, setting up a mini-bar right in front of the classroom. "This afternoon class, we are going to have a special lesson. The Hokage himself approved of it. We are going to learn how to fight while inebriated, or in other words, drunk."
"The reason for this lesson," Iruka continued after the confused questions had died down, "Is to get you prepared to act at any given time. Because once you put on your headbands, you will be expected to be ready at any time. But you will also be adults, and thus you should learn to deal with the effects of choices you make, in a safe environment."
Seeing the worried look of a few of the students he smiled reassuringly. "I've already talked with your parents, and/or legal guardians and have gotten their permission, so come up one at a time and select a drink."
Ten minutes later, most of the students had drained their glasses, a few of them had already passed out. Sasuke was the first one, followed by Shino, then Kiba. The remaining students had engaged in a drinking contest or two. Sakura and Ino seemed to be determined to beat the other, taking a large bottle of a fruit drink. While Hinata had joined the remaining boys and Iruka in the main contest, sampling shots of various other drinks.
Ino and Sakura were the next to fall, both girls had tipped backwards to get the last dredges of their drink from the tall glasses they had chosen, and fell back onto the cushions Iruka had laid down when they started. The others paused there contest long enough to check on them, and put away their empty glasses.
Ten shots later, Chouji set his shot glass down with a thunk, followed by a louder thud of his head hitting the teacher's desk. Iruka looked at the other remaining contestants to try and size them up. Shikamaru was looking about normal for himself, lazy and disinterested, but one could see a certain dullness to his eyes. Hinata was rosy cheeked and wobbling a little, but the determination she held seemed to be holding her own in this contest. The big surprise was Naruto, who after fifteen shots was the only one other than Iruka to be steady enough to pour the shots without spilling too much. If Iruka hadn't seen him downing the shots, Iruka would have sworn he was completely sober.
Several shots later, Naruto poured out the shots for the group, and everyone downs them except Shikamaru. The other three look at the shadow user, who appears to be staring deeply into the drink, finding some deeper meaning to it. This illusion is shattered however when Shikamaru starts snoring. "Guess this mean he's out," Naruto stated calmly, sliding the shot away from Shika.
Hinata bit her lip as she looked at the shot glass sitting on the table. In one quick motion she scooped it up and gulped down the contents. Setting the glass down she turned to Naruto and leaned forward, a heavy blush to her cheeks. "N...Naaaruutooo..." she slurred, gaining the blonde's attention, "I... I want to..." she began, crawling towards him as Iruka began laughing, her eyes half lidded. "to ki...ki..." she was cut off however when she whipped her head to the side and let loose the contents of the contest over the desk, right into Iruka's lap.
Shortly after coating Iruka in vomit, Hinata passed out, her head falling down onto a very sensitive part of Naruto's anatomy. Despite the wincing and urge to curl into a ball, Naruto carefully lowered Hinata off his lap and onto the floor, where he put her into a position so she wouldn't choke, if she threw up again.
Iruka sighed as he dumped Hinata's stomach contents into his waste bin and stood up. "I think a five minute break so we can clean up the area is in order, don't you?" Iruka asked his paper tray, with bleary eyes.
Naruto agreed, grabbing a towel and wiping Hinata's mouth and cheeks clean, only to find he couldn't pull away. Hinata had snaked her arms around his neck and was slowly pulling herself closer. He blushed heavily as her lips met his, parting a second later as she slumped back to the floor with a wide grin.
Meanwhile, out in the hall, Iruka popped a soldier pill to help counter the alcohol he'd consumed so far. He was running low on chakra from the purging technique, and in reality he was a very lightweight drinker.
The Hokage walked down the hall, coming upon Iruka as he made his way to the bathroom. "Ah, Iruka-sensei, I was going to ask how it went, but I can tell..."
Iruka looked down at the mess on his front tucking his change of clothes more firmly into his armpit. "Yes sir... that was..." Iruka began before being interrupted by a belch and then continuing, "excuse me, not fun... but I never would have thought they could drink that much."
Sarutobi chuckled a moment before a word resonated with his mind. "They? Who's they?"
Iruka hiked a thumb over his shoulder indicating his classroom. "Sasuke, Kiba, and Shino each passed out after the first drink... Sasuke didn't even make it through a full cup. Sakura and Ino wiped out a bottle of wine, and themselves in the process, Chouji would drink you under the table and Shika..." Iruka paused to let out a chuckle, "he passed out without us knowing... until he started snoring, that is."
Sarutobi chuckled as he gave Iruka a quick once over. "I see, then that leaves Hinata-chan and Naruto-kun... since I don't see ramen noodles, I'm guessing this is a gift from Hinata-chan..."
Iruka laughed and nodded, rubbing the back of his head. "She holds a deceptively large volume of vomit... and could probably hold her own against Anko."
Sarutobi smirked slightly as he shook his head. "This class has a lot of potential... all across the board."
Iruka chuckled and nodded his head. "The real surprise is Naruto, go ahead and take a look, you'll see what I mean. I need to clean up and get back there; I have to maintain my reputation after all..." With a bow he slipped into the bathroom.
Sarutobi shook his head as he walked down the hall, arriving at the room just in time to see Naruto to get kissed by Hinata. Once the young man laid down the girl, Sarutobi cleared his throat. "How was your first kiss, Naruto-kun?"
Naruto whipped around to fact the old man with a slight blush. "I... she kept trying to stick her tongue in my mouth... and it tasted funny... kinda like that stuff Iruka-sensei's having us drink," Naruto answered, indicating a bottle of rotgut whiskey.
Eying the stacks of shot glasses, and picking the one stacked into a pyramid out as Naruto's Sarutobi nodded absently. "Such a shame, maybe your next one will be better? After all, your graduation exam is next month. How are you feeling, Naruto-kun? Any dizziness?"
"Well, I was a bit queasy, but I think that was only because Hinata puked on Iruka-sensei," Naruto answered, smiling down at Hinata. "Man, I wish I'd had my camera out for that one..."
Sarutobi laughed grandfatherly as he looked up at the camera in the corner of the classroom. "How about this Naruto? I have to go back to work, but if you close the blinds and leave plenty of water for your classmates, I'll give you a copy of the security video of it."
Naruto's face broke out into a huge grin as he nodded. "Hai!" he responded before looking over at the windows for a moment, and then taking in the entire class. "Why though? I don't really get this lesson. I mean they just fell asleep, didn't they? Well Sasuke-teme was a bit loud and obnoxious for two seconds, something about that whack-a-weasel game... then he hit the desk, with his face."
Sarutobi let out a chuckle as he inspected a few of the students. "The lesson is to show the effects of alcohol on their bodies, and to know their limits. It's like training until you pass out in a way. You never know how far you can go until you try, but once that's known; you know where to stop yourself."
Naruto stopped to consider this for a couple minutes before speaking again. "That makes sense... but why am I still awake? I mean I'm not even wobbly like the others were, and Iruka-sensei looks ready to drop like a rock."
Sarutobi picked up one of the empty bottles and looked it over thoughtfully before responding. "It might have something to do with your fast healing... but I think now is a good time for another lesson... here, take this bottle."
Taking the bottle into his hands, Naruto looked at it curiously and was about to ask when the old man continued. "It's a cold, empty thing, isn't it?" At Naruto's nod he indicated Hinata. "Now, she was softer and warmer right?"
At Naruto's nod he put the bottle down and settled down to look Naruto in the eyes. "This is a lesson most shinobi learn later on in life. Don't turn to the bottle for comfort, it'll only make you like itself, instead find a friend and turn to them."
"I get that, but why would anyone turn to that stuff for comfort? Most of it tastes nasty, and it just makes you sleepy..." Naruto asked confused as he looked out at his classmates.
"For many, it's a way to forget their problems for a while..."
Naruto's prankster spirit, or possibly a drunken Kyuubi perked up at this. "Oh really?"
Sarutobi, ignoring the dangerous lilt in Naruto's voice turned to head out. "In fact, I dare say none of your classmates would remember today, then again, if used in moderation... some great words of wisdom could be passed down to them. It may not sink in right away, but eventually it would."
Naruto's devious grin turned into a confused smile, before he broke something trying to figure it out, Sarutobi continued, "We as ninjas tend to block things from our minds. Sometimes we need to lower these blocks in order to remain human."
Naruto's face lost all expression of his prankster side as he looked at his classmates, sleeping peacefully. "I think I get it now..."
"As Hokage, I've learned when to use this method, and when not to. Also, what lessons to teach," Sarutobi finished calmly before looking at the clock and letting out a heavy sigh. "I'm afraid I have to go now, remember Naruto, my door is always open for you."
"I'll remember that," Naruto said warmly as he turned back to the old man, "Maybe you can show me how to grow something else one day? Those tomatoes are getting big, but must be lonely..."
"Strawberries would cheer up your apartment a little I think..."
"That'd be great, thanks old man!" Naruto replied with a laugh.
Chuckling the hokage bowed his head and stepped out of the room. "Until then Naruto-kun."
"Later Old Man," Naruto whispered to the closing door, before turning back to his classmates, the prankster impulse bouncing inside his mind, as well as the words of the old man, about teaching lessons.
An hour later found Naruto helping Iruka into a prone position carefully, the words of Old Man Hokage bouncing around in his ears still. Leaning up to the curtain rod, he shut the blinds and began filling up an old tray with glasses of water. Shortly after setting the water on the table he paused looking out over his classmates with a frown. There was a lesson to learn here, but what could it be?
Focusing on Sasuke, his frown deepened for a moment before a smile lit up his face. He propped the last loyal Uchiha against the wall, removing the shirt as it was soaked in something nasty. Getting Kiba from the other side of the room, he accidentally bumped Sakura down a row and on top of Ino. Propping Kiba up next to Sasuke, he looped their arms over each other's shoulders, heads together as pillows, the other hands accidentally landing on the other's lap.
For the slumbering Shikamaru, he propped him up behind the lectern, even giving him some prop glasses from the back of the room. Nodding in thought, he looked around curiously as he pulled a couple books out of Iruka's desk, one a diet and exercise book, which he slipped under Chouji's head opened to a random page, showing a colorful fruit salad, the other an odd orange book with a red crossed out circle on one cover that he just laid over Iruka's face, again opened to a random page. Finally he turned to Hinata, and sighed in thought, stroking her hair gently before scooping her up and placing her in a pile of first aid dummies, giving her a toy replica of a shield that Iruka had confiscated off a kid one year about Halloween time. Smiling sweetly at her he ran his fingers through her hair again and whispered, "Maybe someday your prince will come, and show you how great you are. Sleep well Princess..." Leaning forward he kissed her forehead lightly before slipping a bottle of pain relievers into her hand.
Looking at his work he nodded to himself before digging out his camera from his bag, and snapping off a few pictures of each set up he made. His final one he sets up the camera on a time delay, positioning himself so it'd catch him just right in the picture. After the final picture is taken, he pulls out a book on basic jutsus and practices Bushin no Jutsu.
Two hours later finds Naruto heading out the door, a minute before the bell rings. No one had woken up yet, and he wanted to get to the Hokage's tower and pick up the video from the old man before heading up to the Hokage monument and watching the sun set from there. He'd have to look into getting those pictures developed, but for now he just wanted to bask in the last beams of the sun as it fades, and enjoy this warm feeling in his heart.
Seconds later the bell rings, waking the class up with much groaning and moaning. That's when the screaming started, however the prankster responsible was already long gone, and not looking back.