In These Moments

By Jasmin Kaiba

I wake up to the sound of a baby s cry and, looking at the clock, I realize how early it is. 5:30 in the morning. I turn over and am about to nudge my wife, but then I notice how peaceful she looks, and I remember what a rough day she s had. She usually doesn t sleep so deeply.

Carefully, I roll out of our bed, making sure not to jar the mattress too much, for fear of waking her up. For once, I think I will check on the boy. What a fitting occasion to do it too, seeing as Anzu has been prattling on all day about how it s Father s Day or something like that.

Quietly, I pad out into the hallway and into Atem s room. Atem Feh. What a horrible name. If Jounouchi were here, not even the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon would stop him from laughing behind my back, or to my face, the Mutt has never been one for subtlety. The boy himself isn t too bad though, he looks exactly like me, and that's more then I could said when I was his age, I looked exactly like Mother. I have one up over the boy though, because I wasn t that fat.

I lean carefully over the edge of the large wooden crib Atem sleeps in, and look down to see him staring up at me with those big blue eyes, definitely his mother s. He seems almost surprised to see me, as Anzu is normally the one to tend to him, but he quickly recovers from his initial confusion and smiles up at me with that big toothless mouth. He flails his chubby little limbs and whimpers, wanting me to pick him up or something. I take a quick whiff of the air before I give in though, because I don t want to be the one changing diapers. That is definitely not my job.

Carefully, I reach down into the crib and pick up the squirming boy, not quite sure what to do with him once I have him. He smiles and giggles at me, and makes some unintelligible noises, thinking this must be a game of some sort. His face begins to scrunch up, however, when he tries to grab out for me, but finds he cannot quite reach. Quickly, I recall what my wife has told me about holding babies, and I shift Atem so that I can cradle him in my arms as I have seen his mother do. This seems to satisfy the boy, because he settles down a bit and snuggles into me.

I feel a lock of silky chocolate hair brush my forearm and I snort lightly; another thing Anzu swears up and down he has from me, though we're both brunettes. Sometimes I hate that woman for doing this to me, for making me love her and this boy in my arms. I won t deny that I sometimes miss the old me, the one that was strong, who didn t let anything get in his way. Only sometimes though, because then I remember the loneliness that me felt, and I know that if I were given the chance to re-live my life, I wouldn t change a thing. Corny, I know, but I figure it s okay to think it, as long as I don t say it out loud.

I know I have changed a lot since I met Anzu and her gang of misfits, and at first I thought it was for the worse, but looking back looking back I see that I have finally found happiness, and that suits me just fine. And hey, it could have been worse. I could have been the one to be born vertically challenged and destined to bear a 5000 year old ghost in my body, other then Yuugi That thought is enough to make a man s skin crawl.

I feel Atem begin to squirm again, and I shift him so he is on his back while I move to sit down in the antique rocker in the corner. I hold him carefully in my lap as I rock us slowly back and forth, and he seems perfectly content to giggle and suck on his toes as I look on in disgust. Did I ever do that? I probably did. Toe sucking must be a baby thing.

Gently, I pull his foot out of his mouth, unable to watch any longer, and he grabs my hand as a replacement and begins to gum on my thumb. He must be teething, so I pull my hand away and reach for the rubber teething toy on the dresser. Atem s chubby little features twist themselves into a scowl though, and he refuses to accept it. With a sigh, I put the toy back in its place and pick the baby up, preparing to put him back to bed.

To my complete and utter surprise, I feel his little gums latch onto my nipple. My eyes widen in surprise as I realize what must be going through his head right now. "Whoa kid," I mutter, "you ve got the wrong parent." I try to pull him off, but he s got a good grip on me, and it hurts. Suddenly, I have a new appreciation for Anzu, who happens to pick the perfect time to walk into the room. She just had to wait until after the fatherly moment was over, and walk in, much to my embarrassment, as the boy is trying to suck milk from me.

I hear her laugh and I turn around, still trying to pry the kid off of me. "I think he s hungry." I say simply, and she laughs again, lightly, like an angel. I like that about her, because she s probably the closest I ll ever get to heaven.

"Atem, baby," she coos, and the child loosens his hold on me long enough for me to pull him away. "Mama s here." I hand her the child, who gurgles happily, eyeing the folds of her robe with such intensity that I can t help but to be a little jealous. She shuffles over to the rocking chair that I had just vacated, and I can tell by the look on her face that it is still warm. She knows I ve been here for a while.

I watch in utter fascination as she opens her robe up and offers her breast to Atem, who latches on and begins to suckle at her greedily. I have never seen a woman breast-feed her child before now, but it has to be one of the most beautiful things I will ever see. The woman I love is sitting in front of me, feeding the child that we created together, and it amazes me. I still find it hard to believe that I have a son. Every morning, I wake up and expect to find myself back in Gozaburo's clutches, but instead, I find a beautiful woman, my wife, curled up in my arms, and I know that our child is asleep in the very next room.

With a happy sigh, Atem pulls away, and Anzu burps him quickly before laying the yawning child back in his crib. She covers him up and turns off the light, and we just stand there for a while as he falls asleep, looking at what we made. I find my arm snaking around her waist, and she snuggles closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. She must be completely exhausted.

"You look tired." I murmur against her silky locks. "We should go back to bed."

"Hai " she yawns, and nods against my chest, leaning on me. Gently, I pick my wife up, and carry her back to our room, where I lay her down in the bed and crawl in beside her. She snuggles deep into my arms, and I hold her closely. I am in one of my very rare snuggling with no sex moods, and Anzu better appreciate it

Anzu it s in moments like these that I realize just how much I love her, just how deep the extent of my feelings for her are. I know I ve never actually told her what I feel for her, even though she tells me all the time. I think I ll tell her one day, when I finally figure out just how to express myself properly. These emotions are just too hard to deal with. In the meantime though, I think Anzu is content to just have me here with her, and besides, I think she knows anyway.

The End

AN: And this folks is a true story out of my own nursery. On Father's Day, Sara's scream woke up my husband and he went to check on her, the rest happened how I wrote it down, with a few minor details to fit the characters and lenghten the story. Hope you liked it and that you'll leave me reviews )
Jas