“So, Gaara’s got this stick up his ass.”

“When does Gaara not have a stick up his ass?”

The hokage shook his head in amusement and stabbed a emphatic finger in the middle of a map spread between him and his audience, indicating a wide swath of scrubland on the northwestern border of fire.

“Wants to station troops here, here, and here.”

Nara Shikamaru took a long drag on his cigarette, studying the region the hokage had indicated, and expelled the smoke in a forceful sigh. “I really hope you told him ‘no’, Naruto.”

Uzumaki Naruto, seventh Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, straightened with a frown. “Of course I told him no! I’m not having another village’s operatives camp out along my border. Unless they’re in my village under my supervision, foreign nin need to stay the hell out of Fire, ally or not.”

Shikamaru looked unimpressed, slouching in his chair with his head propped up by a careless hand. “So what are you going to do?”

The hokage shrugged broad shoulders. “Diplomacy, I guess.”

“Gaara doesn’t listen to anyone but you.”

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” the strategist acquiesced.

“Does he listen to Temari?”

That was almost enough to make Nara straighten up indignantly. He settled for a sullen look instead. “If you think for one minute....”

Naruto grinned. “Nara, quit trying to second-guess me and just answer the question.”

“Sometimes,” Shikamaru snapped, giving his friend a dull glare.

“What about Kankuro?”

There was a pregnant pause as the sullen look faded, replaced by something like grudging admiration. “You’re a canny son of a bitch,” the strategist muttered, pulling another cloud of smoke into his lungs.

Naruto’s grin was positively incandescent.