Author: everlastingdaydreams PM
Edward leaving Bella, with some small differences. Edwards POV. Please review!Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Edward & Bella - Words: 1,845 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 09-19-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5388659
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Here is the much overdone, heartbreaking scene from New Moon. Edward leaving Bella, but with some slight differences. [hehe. 2nd attempt at writing. please review whether you love it or hate it.]
I walked with her into the woods. Steeling myself for what I knew that I must do. For her safety, I reminded myself. Always for her. My angel. I walked next to her, breathing in her scent, her blood, her destruction. I had to save her. I had to protect her. I stopped, leaning against a tree, deciding how to start.
"O.k." she took a deep breath. "Let's talk."
"Bella, we're leaving." She stared at me, not comprehending.
"Why now? " She finally burst out. " Why not wait another year?"
"Bella, it's time," I lied, "How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." I could see comprehension dawning on her features.
"When you say we..." she whispered. I controlled a flinch as horror took over her face. I'm so sorry.
"I mean, myself and my family. " I stressed this, staring at her pain-filled face. Staring at me, she took another deep breath.
"O.k. I'll just come with you."
"NO!" The words burst out of my mouth causing shock, pain and horror to burst onto her face. If I hadn't already lost my soul, doing this, hurting my angel, would automatically send me to hell. I kept my face devoid of emotion, while on the inside I was writhing in self-hatred, self-contempt and pain. I'm so sorry. The words scrolled in the front of my head, repeating over and over again, as I stared at the fragile girl in front of me, saying the words I knew would break her. Better broken than dead, I told myself. Broken things can be fixed but dead…. "Where we are going… isn't right for you."
A fierce look came onto her face, under better circumstances I probably would have laughed, my little kitten trying to be a lion. NO, I yelled at myself, she's not mine anymore. Oh, god. What am I doing? Is there really anyone out there? If there is, I beg of you, keep my angel safe. Keep her happy.
"Wherever you are is right for me, Edward."
My name on her sweet lips almost broke me. I barely managed to control my face, catching myself at the last second from running to her and kissing all of the pain I could see on her face.
"What happened with Jasper… That was nothing!." I bit back a snarl as I remembered my brother leaping at her. As I remember her blood flowing from where she was cut from how I threw her into the plates. How I fought to not kill her as I stayed by her side.
"You're right. It was exactly as expected." This was true. Now that I look back, I was surprised that it hadn't happened before. But it had opened my eyes. I steeled myself, this was for her. Not for my selfish needs, this was to keep her safe.
"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" she shouted. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-it's yours already!" I was surprised, I hadn't realized that Carlisle had told her of my views. But that didn't matter, I couldn't condemn her to a life where she was constantly in danger, or worse, a life where her eyes shown red. Like in Alice's vision.
No, don't do this. Part of my brain begged for me to stop. To not say the words that I knew were going to come out of my mouth any second. But another part of me, KNEW, that there was no way that she would believe me. I'd spent months, telling her I loved her, telling her she was my life. Part of me scoffed at myself, like she would believe that I didn't love her. Yeah, right.
Keeping my face emotionless, a feat only achieved by a belief that she wouldn't believe me. "Bella, I don't want you to come with us." She stared at me, shaking her head back and forth, as though to dislodge the words that I had just said. I waited for her to laugh and smile. Telling me that I was being silly and that of course I wanted her. Because how could I not want her? How could I not love her?
"I… you don't…want me?" Her voice so full of anguish I would have cried, had I been able. What was happening? Where was her realizing that it was a lie? Why was she looking like her heart was breaking. Oh god, oh god. She believed me? How could she believe me?
"No." I was a monster. This proved it. This sweet precious angel that I had only wanted to protect, and I was destroying her.
Her face went totally and completely black. "Well, that changes things." She was expressionless. Like nothing mattered, like she didn't understand.
"I'm not human." I burst out. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way." In every possible way there is. I will always love you, Bella. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human. I've let this go on for too long, and I'm sorry for that." That was true, in a way. I did let it go on for too long, if I had ended this before it started, she would have never been in danger. And I was sorry. Sorry I was hurting her. Sorry that I wasn't human for her. But I would never regret. This time of my weary existence I would always cherish.
Her mask broke. "Please, don't," her voice trembled. "Please, don't do this to me." Her voice was so full of agony.
Knowing I was a bastard, I played on her insecurities. "You're no good for me, Bella."
"If…" her voice shuddered. "If that's what you want." NOOO, I don't want this, but you need it. I want you, I love you. Please, Bella, how can you believe this? I love you. I love you.
I nodded, unable to speak with the pounding in my head. Instead of being bombarded with others thoughts, I was being massacred with my own. "I do have one favor to ask though." It was a feat that no other could have possibly accomplished, keeping my voice steady and face straight, as her face was contorted with pain.
"Anything," she whispered, her voice stronger.
Why? She shouldn't be willing to do anything for me. She should hate me. No, she should love me. She should be annoyed with me right now, yes. But she should love me. Because there was no way that she should be believing me right now. She should be asking me who the hell I thought I was fooling, pretending not to love her.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I asked. I couldn't keep up the mask, for a split second it faltered before I could control myself. Part of me hoped she hadn't noticed. The other half prayed that she had. "I'm thinking about Charlie, of course. He needs you. For his sake, take care of himself." That was also a small truth, I was worried about what Charlie would do if Bella did something drastic. But mainly I was worried about what I would do. If my angel did something because of me… I shuddered inwardly.
"I will." She whispered.
"And I'll promise this in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on and live your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I never existed," I told her, because this was what she deserved. A chance at a normal life, free of secrets, free of danger, free of vampires, free of ME.
"No," she mumbled from a face that looked frozen with pain. Her heart was stuttering. I needed to help her cope, help her see the light. "Don't worry, you're just human. Time heals all wounds. Your memories will fade."
"And yours?" Damn it, why was she worried about me? Hate me, Bella. Hate me to survive.
"Well," I said slowly, deliberately, "my memories won't exactly fade, but" I smirked coldly, "we are easily distracted." Again, I was split down the middle. Part of me hoped my memories would never fade, that I could cherish the memory of my sweet Bella forever. But the rest of me was begging for relief, because I didn't know if I could survive the pain. A selfish part of me hoped she never forgot, that she'd always love me. But I did what I had to do to make her hate me, so she'd have a chance at love, a chance at happiness.
I stepped backwards, "We won't bother you again."
Shock replaced the pain for a split second before it was back again. "Alice… the others? They're not coming back?"
I slowly shook my head. I was a bastard, I wasn't just taking myself from her life, I was taking her best friend whom she considered her sister, I was taking the people she'd begun to think of as family.
"Alice wanted to say good-bye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better."
"Good-bye, Bella" I stared at her face, imagining it radiating with happiness, a smile on her face.
"NO! Wait," she stumbled towards me. I reached for her, unable to stop myself. I saw the hope flash in her eyes before it was quickly crushed. I pinned her arms against the tree, knowing that if she touched me, these last minutes would have been for nothing and I would not be able to leave her. Had it only been minutes? It felt like hours, days. I pressed my lips to her head.
I love you. Please forgive me. I hope someday you'll understand and look back on the memories of me with fondness.
"Take care of yourself," I whispered, before turning and running faster than I ever had before away from the only girl I'd ever love. The only chance at happiness that I'd ever have.
Again, please review! Thank you.