Title: Guilty As Charged

Author: Anyssia

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII (Crisis Core, Meteor Crisis)

Prompt: prompt 166 - albatross around your neck, Taming The Muse (LJ)

Warnings: no sex/violence, angst, unbeta'ed (WriteOrDie contest: 1000 words in 90 min)

Rating: PG

Status: 1056 words, one-shot, 09/23/2009

Summary: The others were all dead and he was still alive and it was his entire fault.

---

Cloud thrust Zack's Buster sword into the ground, setting it forcefully in the earth so that neither monster nor harsh weather could dislodge it.

He had killed Sephiroth barely a week ago, and despite his friends' demands, he still couldn't stop thinking about it. Tifa cajoled him, ranted at him and whined when nothing else worked and still he couldn't stop wallowing in the memory of his last friend's death.

And yes, even if none of his comrades would ever believe it if he came clean, Sephiroth had been his friend just as much as Zack, during those wonderful Soldiers days.

;;;

Of course, Zack had been the first, the one that had dragged him up at the SOLDIER’s levels and in training areas with his big, happy smile and unshakable optimism. Zack had believed in him, even if he had been nothing more than a nobody, coming from a backwater village and dreaming of playing with the big boys.

He had introduced him to the General Hewley first and Cloud hadn't been able to make a sound, he hadn't even greeted the man, so shocked he had been by meeting one of the three Legends.

Then Zack had pushed him toward another door, laughing and messing up his blond hair, spiking it that much more and ignoring his sputtering and explosive blush. That's how he had met his second General, the red-head Rhapsodos.

Where Angeal had simply shook his head and smiled, Genesis had stared down at him, obviously wondering what a mere grunt had been doing at the SOLDIER's level. It hadn't exactly been a nasty glare, but more a dismissive glance and Genesis had seemed to forget about him right away, crossing the hallway to meet up with Angeal.

Zack had chuckled again, told him not to let Genesis' behavior bothered him because if the man hadn't simply thrown him right back in the elevator with a one-way ticket to the Shinra Tower's lowest level, then he hadn't minded adding a new puppy to this strange pack.

Before Cloud had been able to make any sense of that, Zack had grabbed his arm, again, and hauled him toward another office. And this time, Cloud had had time to see the nameplate – and well, when you said Angeal, Genesis was never far in the conversation. But when you said Angeal and Genesis, there was –always– a third name –.

So when Zack had thrown open the door with a resounding 'We're here!', Cloud had merely jumped to attention on the spot. Of course, it had set off Zack right away, and the First Class Soldier had almost died of suffocation by laughing at him for ten minutes straight. Cloud had managed –just barely– to resist hitting him and had kept his stance perfect and his eyes focused on the gleaming katana resting against the wall in front of him.

Apparently, Sephiroth had been just as used to Zack's quirks, because he had merely raised an eyebrow and murmured a quiet 'Indeed', before turning back to his computer.

No more intimidated by the First General's reaction than by Genesis', Zack had sauntered to a comfortable armchair facing the desk and settled down while immediately beginning a one-sided conversation about something Cloud had been pretty sure he hadn't had the clearance to hear about. Sephiroth had raised his head, stared at Zack a few seconds –not that it had shushed the SOLDIER – and then turned to face Cloud.

The General had –looked– at him, from head to toes, once, twice and had looked back at Zack, who had been waiting with his trademark smile and bouncing legs. Then, at Cloud astonishment, Sephiroth had indicated the second armchair and invited him to sit down.

From then on, it had been Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth, but it had also been Zack and Cloud. And for pretty much every one, it had been the Generals and Zack–and–Cloud.

They had been friends, despite their differences, and Cloud had even managed to forget –sometimes– that he had been no more than a trooper surrounded by celebrities. So when he had heard Hojo snickering and muttering about Hollander's failures and how they had been degrading while –his– creation had stayed perfect, he should have said something.

He should have told Zack, even if he hadn't gone directly to Angeal and Genesis. He had known that Hollander had been as important to Angeal and Genesis' health as Hojo had been to Sephiroth's. He had known that Zack hadn't trusted this scientist anymore than he had trusted Hojo.

And still, he hadn't said anything. He had doubted himself, hadn't trusted his screaming instincts and then Genesis had gone mad and it had been too late because Genesis had deserted and then Angeal had fled too.

If only. If only he had opened his mouth, then maybe they could have done something.

Maybe if they had known that Angeal and Genesis' bodies had been degrading, just maybe they could have done something – after all, if Sephiroth's body had really been that perfect, maybe a blood transfusion could have save them, or something.

And then maybe Sephiroth wouldn't have let himself be manipulated by a voice in his head, if Genesis had been there to mock him and if Angeal had been there to stop them from destroying everything in the room.

;;;

In the end, it was all Cloud's fault.

He had lost all his friends, just because he hadn't had more faith in himself and in Zack's judgment.

Zack had thought him trustworthy and full of promise. Zack had believed he had been strong and beautiful and quick and –smart–, but he hadn't been clever enough to repeat what he had eavesdropped from that bastard Hojo and because of him they had all died.

And now he was leaving behind him the last memory of his friends and mentors and lover, embedded in a barren hill overlooking a dead city to mark his savior's grave.

Now he had new friends and new expectations, but no more lover nor dreams and he still could feel the weight of his sin and the crushing guilt that kept him from sleeping at night and from living like his comrades urged him to.

The others were all dead and he was still alive and it was his entire fault.

End