Note: Pretty odd dream sequence, you'll notice when it hits you.

"Look... Don't you think that if this was a simple case of him leaving to, to... meet the proctologist," Yuuri glared at Gwendal, who looked unrepentant for making such a ridiculous claim."-he would have been back by now?"

Celi positively vibrated with worry, and Yuuri couldn't help but avert his eyes from the screen the blond woman was on, the little SONY teleconferencing thing set on the dining table.

Yuuri had the distinct impression that the small black clamshell was the most expensive thing his table would ever feel. Wolfram's family being themselves, the machine probably cost more than their flat.

"I have no intention of leaving any stone unturned, Mister Shibuya-"

"Oh Gwennie, how can you be so silly when my baby Wolfie is missing?!"

Celi's normally high-pitched voice would have deafened dogs with the tinny screech that came through the speakers. Gwendal's frown grew deeper, much to Yuuri's surprise, and even the normally painfully polite Japanese boy discreetly covered his ears with his palms.

"I have informed the police, mother, as well as the security sector of our corporation. Conrad will be home tomorrow to join the search, and a picture of Wolfram has been sent to the press. If he was indeed kidnapped, he would have to be kept in a basement under lock and key twenty-four hours a day, every day to avoid detection."

The scary man shuffled through important looking papers in his hand, muttering something angrily under his breath, as Fan Fan made his way onto the screen, slinging a comforting arm around a distraught, still sun-tanning Celi.

"If he persists in being missing, every single person with a television will know his face by the end of the week. The police have been... persuaded to put a substantial amount as a reward for information."

Yuuri tried not to let the realisation that the police force were all afraid of Gwendal scare him too much. His prospects if he was arrested, thought Yuuri, wouldn't be very good.

"Umm... Mister Voltaire.... Wolf's only been missing for a day. Just wondering, because I'm his best friend and I'm really interested in knowing how we... plan to find him, yeah, how did you get all this coverage so fast?"

The man looked at him like Yuuri had just asked the most unintelligent thing in the world, and even Celi stopped hugging Fan Fan to gape at Yuuri. The boy laughed nervously, ruffling his hair.

This is Wolf's brother and mother I'm talking to. His family. The people I'd-... someone would need to get permission from before he could formally court Wolf.

I meant she. Totally she, not he.

Yuuri groaned and buried his face in his hands, wondering just how far the morning's revelation would bury him in insanity. It was only a few hours since then, and he was thinking like a nervous boyfriend. It wasn't pretty in his mind, thought Yuuri. It wasn't pretty at all, and he wouldn't get pink clouds and fluffy bunnies back until he had straightened out whatever it was he had in his mind with Wolfram.

Celi mistook the gesture as Yuuri being in despair for not being in the know in their dashing plan to rescue baby Wolf, and squealed so painfully that Yuuri knew his glass had cracked.

"Gwennie, Yuuri's worried about our Wolfram too! I think you should tell him all your plans! Keep him in the loop! Because you're worried very much too, right, cutie?"

Oh God no! Not more of Gwendal barging in at a weird hour and glaring at me for no reason!

Outwardly, Yuuri offered a tremulous smile in the direction of the pinhole camera, and said that he really would like to know more about finding Wolfram.

Seeing as how most people couldn't go against their mothers' wishes even if she was thousands of miles away, Gwendal just rubbed his temple, did some weird breathing exercise, before he continued.

"I have contacts in the police department, the television networks, and a few senior members of newspaper publications. Many people owe me a favour in this city, and they would jump at the first opportunity to repay me. The longer they owe me, the more interest I accumulate."

"I... see. That doesn't sound very... nice."

"I have no intention of being 'nice' when the heir to one of the largest personal fortunes I have ever managed disappears."

And Yuuri worried that maybe Wolfram was right, because what Gwendal said seemed to put more importance in Wolfram's financial value than his worth as family.

If this goes on Wolfram'll never want to talk to them again!

Yuuri decided to play the dumb card, because he knew it would appeal to Celi, and because by the way Gwendal looked at him, the man's opinion of him couldn't be lower if Yuuri had torn off his clothes, threw all their eggs on the floor and started singing about the virtues of being a vegan.

He winced internally, because no man should ever to be forced to do what said man had once been forced to read from his mother's disgusting, icky romance manga.

It's for Wolfram.

And like even before Yuuri had his possibly Earth-shattering moment of insight, doing something for Wolfram's sake gave him courage.

So Yuuri clasped his hands, widened his eyes in the general direction of the overhead lighting hoping they would sparkle, and smiled his biggest smile.

"Oh, I get it! It's the power of your love for your darling cute baby brother that's let you be so efficient and quick!"

He thought Gwendal would lunge across the table and throttle him, but both men were disorientated by the sheer deafening effect of Celi's giggling, the woman clasping her hands as Yuuri did and shouting something about "a brother's love!" and "how cute Gwennie is when he's trying to be Wolfie's superhero!"

With the black look of murderous intent that Gwendal shot him, Yuuri knew that the man was seriously considering offing him in his sleep.

Gwendal had left immediately after gruffly growling out his outline for the search, and Yuuri's polite smile felt just a little manic after the third mention of "SWAT" and fifth mention of "the U.N"

I think even I underestimated what they'd do just to find Wolfram! I think... I think I might be killed when they find out I was the one that told Wolf to do this.

Because there were six mentions of the word "all-terrain reconnaissance", and if Gwendal was rolling out helicopters on day two of Operation: Bond Wolfram and his Family, he'd probably call in assassins by day four.

Apparently Yozak and Gunter had told Gwendal what they had found out, and after the comment about "brotherly love!", Gwendal found it his sacred duty to grill for every ounce of information about "this Murata man you were seen with yesterday morning".

Yuuri lied as best he could, randomly picking a birth date and hometown based on the expiry date of the juice he had poured for himself and the small map taped to the fridge.

Celi had apparently decided that the Heavens could never be cruel to a face as cute as Wolfram's, and had lost all signs of distress when she began cooing and chuckling as Yuuri was asked about his 'boyfriend'.

"I didn't know you went for guys, Yuuri! It's a pity you didn't go for my baby, you two would make such a great couple!" Yuuri accepted this as a divine way of telling him that his crush wasn't disgusting and foul; he had Wolfram's mother's blessing already.

The woman had leaned forwards to the camera, her breasts swaying hypnotically, barely constrained by the bikini she wore. Yuuri thought he would start crying tears of blood from the amount of the red stuff rushing to his face.

"Tell us more!"

And suddenly in-disguise Wolfram was a clarinetist, worked as a graphics designer, liked turtleneck shirts, and had a caffeine addiction he had been struggling with for years.

"Poor dear!"

Really, thought Yuuri as he settled more comfortably in his chair, cold soda can held to his forehead, the things I do for you, Wolf.

He couldn't decide over his feelings, couldn't actually tell if he was in love or being delusional from the lack of Wolfram. Or if being delusional because of the lack of Wolfram meant that he automatically coveted his friend's body, or if he even actually wanted Wolfram's body, and what it meant if maybe it was love but he felt blinding fear at the thought of the more physical aspects of a relationship with a boy.

Who can I talk to about this?! Don't most people just know if they're in love? I don't think Juliet decided that she had the hots for Romeo when Romeo was off being cool or whatever and Juliet was daydreaming! What kind of an idiot would even maybe realise something like this suddenly?

He popped open the can, guzzling the drink despite the fact that it was one of the overly-sweet fruit-flavoured ones that Wolfram adored and Yuuri avoided. Thinking too much was over-heating his brain, and while he really should call Wolfram to tell him about Gwendal, Yuuri was afraid that his jittery nerves would break and tell all the moment he heard Wolfram answer his phone.

You know, I'm just going to text him. Then at least I won't hear his voice and be stupid about it!

Yuuri cackled victoriously to himself, proud that he had bought himself some more time to do... something about his newfound feelings, that might actually have been really old feelings that he'd never had an occasion to look at before.

"Ur lordship"

It seemed safe enough to use one of his nicknames for the other boy. In case Gwendal did track down 'Murata' and confiscated Yuuri's phone, Yuuri would rather not type Wolfram's name out. He couldn't be sure which brother would kill him first if he did.

"Growly man came, sexy queen said hi. Thy sendg cavalry out 4 wolf, read abt it in paper. Told u thy wld go crazy to find wolf. Dun call, m busy."

He reread it and guessed that nobody would be able to understand his text, and Yuuri smiled happily at his little show of genius as he pressed "send".

Yuuri set down his phone on the table, and started washing the dishes he had used to eat on and serve Wolfram's family with. The pleasant sensation of doing mind-numbing chores overtook Yuuri, and before he knew it he was arranging tinned foods in order of size, as well as mentally coming up with a list of groceries he needed. The beds in both his and Wolfram's rooms were made up, and Yuuri was just about to have at the tub with the grout remover before he heard the unmistakable sound of his message alert tone.

"Sorry im late, was showering. Wtf wimp. Speak English, Yuuri. And busy with what?"

"No swearing in texts, brat. Wolf's angry bro came and askd more qstns, hs mum was on skype or sumthg. Dey r callg d newspapers, tv channels, police, helicopters, to look for Wolf. Be careful. Jst busy, shaddup"

"Spell out the words, damnit. Text messages don't cost dat much, n if you still insist they're too expensive, I'll pay ur stupid bill. What was the brother's reason to look for Wolf? And you r nvr busy wimp"

"I'm trying to deal with something, ok! BUSY D: Bro talk too much, maybe call later, I can quote"

"Don't you emoticon me! D: Take that wimp. My furrowed eyebrows are WAY MORE furrowed, ha! Nyways, I'll call later. Deal with what?"

Wolfram was genuinely worried. Yuuri had always been the dependable, reliable sort, and the blond was worried that as he was lounging around in front of the TV. eating Murata's imported snacks, Yuuri was in trouble. He would have dropped the potato chips and called immediately to demand what was wrong, but Yuuri didn't want him to, so Wolfram comforted himself by tapping the keypad like he had never tapped it before.

Yuuri didn't know what to say. He knew he had to say something, or the short-tempered blond might just call him despite his plea, or worse yet, Wolfram might actually venture back home just to shout at him. And that wouldn't be good. Because if he was spotted by one of Gwendal's drones, or if Doria figured it out, then all the effort they had put into this venture would have been pointless. Also, with his emotional balance in even more turmoil than usual, Yuuri doubted his reaction to Wolfram would be very.... normal.

It was a problem then that Yuuri wasn't a very good liar, and of all the people to whom he sucked at lying, his mother was the worst, and Wolfram came up a close second. He couldn't even text a lie.

"/3 love problems ;_; "

And if Wolfram had slow reflexes, he wouldn't have been able to catch his phone before it dropped into his cup of chocolate, having let go of it from the shock of the reply.

Yuuri has love problems?

Wolfram put words to his questions.

"Wimp, what???"

"talk later Wolf ): "

Wolfram reclined back into the cushions in utter disbelief, and Yuuri stuck his head under the sink, cold tap open to the fullest, hoping the water would wash away the furious blush on his face.

His phone rang again a while later, and at first Yuuri didn't even want to touch it, for fear that it was actually Wolfram, at the end of his patience, shouting and demanding what was wrong and why Yuuri was avoiding him (because Yuuri never chose to text when the option of calling was there.), and then it would really be out of the frying pan and into the fire.

He talked himself into being brave, and did quickly glance at the caller I.D. on the small screen before hurriedly pressing the answer button.

It was Conrad.

"Yuuri? Is this a bad time?"

Of course it's a bad time! Being alone means all I've had to do today is think about Wolfram, so I'm dangerously close to calling you big brother, so yes it's a bad time, but no, I won't say anything!

Yuuri laughed his trademark nervous laugh. Regardless of the situation, Conrad's smooth, solid voice was comforting.

"It's worse for you, Conrad! It's your brother that's missing"

There was a slight pause, and Yuuri felt guilty for blatantly rubbing what must be salt into the other man's wounds.

"I heard... about Wolfram. I feel terrible that I wasn't even in the same country when he was taken, Yuuri. I called to ask if there's been any developments"

There was another pause before Conrad continued.

"And it's already been two days, but still there's no trace of him"

The man sounded utterly dejected, and Yuuri nodded in sympathetic understanding. Conrad had always seemed like the more obviously affectionate of the two brothers, but Wolfram seemed to ignore any gesture of brotherly love, always keeping Conrad at arm's length.

Yuuri never understood why that was, but Wolfram was an individual with a weird mixture of illegible complexity and incredible simplicity. He meant everything he said; with Wolfram words weren't allowed to be wasted on dishonesty. But his reasoning for saying what he said, doing what he did... Those operated on a field of understanding that Yuuri doubted he could ever understand.

The best he could do was stick by the blond's side, medical kit at the ready for when the hard-headed idiot got hurt being Wolfram.

"Wolfram's... Wolfram, Conrad. I think if he was kidnapped, he'll scare his abductor so much the guy'd drop him off at home with a note pinned to his shirt saying 'sorry'"

"Yuuri, I appreciate you being optimistic, but... as you said, Wolfram's Wolfram. They will probably demand a ransom, or worse, Wolfram would enrage them so much that he would... get...hurt", he finished lamely.

Yuuri obviously knew that there was zero chance of that happening. The worst that could happen would be Murata trying to grope the blond, but even then it would be Murata being sent to the hospital with a fractured arm, Wolfram standing at the side with a grim smile, cracking his knuckles.

What else could he say?

"Have faith in your brother, Conrad. I know I trust Wolfram to be okay."

The other man sighed.

"I have faith that my brother could survive on a desert island for ten years with nothing more than the clothes on his back and a hardcover edition of Sherlock Holmes. It's the bastard doing this that I can't make myself trust"

And since Yuuri was, technically, the "bastard doing this", he allowed himself just a tiny squeak of terror at the blood-thirsty sound of Conrad's voice.

Oh, this is all going to end so well.

Night-time. Wolfram didn't call.

Things that go bump in the night include confused young men worrying about their love lives in the midst of a kidnapping falling off a super-single bed onto the floor.

The heat was stifling, though Yuuri couldn't understand why. This close to the ground, he was so far from the sun, so why was it so hot?

Yuuri irritatedly tugged at the pigtails his mother liked so much, trying to dislodge them, but pudgy fingers couldn't grip the smooth bands well enough for him to pull them off. Yuuri pouted, tugged once more for good measure, and gave up, toddling to a bench.

He pouted even more when his short legs couldn't quite propel him onto the bench, Yuuri kicking fruitlessly for a few moments before he was seated.

So hot. But there's an ice cream in his hand, and it's strawberry, and Yuuri happily began licking at it, looking at the sky.

There was a cute cloud in the shape of a bunny rabbit with boxers on. Yuuri laughed at it, and the great white fluff turned to face him. Yuuri waved. The rabbit waved back, before floating away.

Yuuri returned his attention to his ice cream. There was a second scoop now.

A blob materialised on the edge of young Yuuri's vision, getting closer and closer until the blob made sense and now a few angry-looking men stood in front of him.

Gangsters. Yuuri just knew. Bleached hair? Check. Scars? Check.

Black high school uniform? Check.

The leader was a tall, snarling man, face creased with a hundred, a thousand, no, a million frowns, blue eyes glinting somewhere in the displeasure. Small, doll-like spectacles peeked from the man's breast pocket.

Yuuri looked longingly at the man's swinging pony-tail, wishing his hair would swish the way the man's dark-grey hair did. Even when there was no wind.

They stared at each other for a while, Yuuri contemplatively licking his ice cream.

That is, until a brunette dressed all in white padding appeared suddenly.

Waving an elongated ladle and shouting "Ole! Ole!", the man ran with a manic grin on his face, before being seemingly struck by an idea. He barrelled towards Yuuri, before vaulting over the bench in one smooth movement, running off into the horizon still shouting at the top of his head.

The last phrase that Yuuri heard clearly was "Avast ye mateys! Be afraaaaaaaid, for it is I! Brown beard!"

One of the frowning man's henchmen coughed like he was trying to stop laughing, and Yuuri stared at the orange hair trying to remember... something, before returning to gaze at Frown Man.

"What'chu looking at, huh, punk? 'Chu want some of this?"

Yuuri continued staring. The ice cream, though now left untended, did not drip.

Frown Man sneered.

"'Chu think 'chu be brave, then, girrrrrrrrrl?"

Yuuri nodded.

"Oh! Oh! You think you arrrrrre something else, huh? Well, I am going to skin you alive, then toss your bleeding body into a tub of salty water so salty it's watery salt, then I'll flay you in my million dollar Panasonic oven, yes I will, this is what you get for kidnapping my baby bro-"

"Hush your rude words, foul-mouthed cretin!"

Yuuri whipped his head to the left, in the direction of the voice. A splendid sight greeted him.

A blond man, a prince! a prince! had popped into the scene, astride a gleaming white unicorn with ribbons threaded in its mane. The man was dressed in finery so shiny and glinty and sun-catchy that Yuuri couldn't quite see what the blond was wearing.

He did know who it was, though. Of course he knew.

Yuuri struggled to his feet on the bench, small palms pressing against oddly-smooth wood, before launching himself at the blond who had dismounted.

"Wolfram!"

The pat on his head was heavenly.

"Ah, fair Yuuri! Did that terrible man hurt you?"

Yuuri shook his head no. Frown Man turned his attention to Wolfram, and the blond prince swung Yuuri to his other hip, the dark-haired child holding on rapturously.

Wolfram's frown was somehow inexplicably scarier. The gang leader twitched.

"You, sir?"

The taller, bigger, older male twitched his head in a semi-nod.

"Ever had your teeth knocked out while your mouth was still closed?"

Every single face paled but for Yuuri's and Wolfram's. The ladle-wielding nut had reappeared, now standing beside the orange-haired henchman.

"Unless it interests you, you weird, angry little man, begone!"

And everyone else disappeared in a purple poof!

Even the unicorn, Yuuri noted sadly.

Wolfram sat them both on the bench. Yuuri's feet could touch the ground now. Wolfram leaned against him, blond head on his shoulder.

"I don't know how to do it, you know. I never said that I'd be the one punching. Don't know why people always believe the threat"

"Thanks for running them away, Wolf"

The blond waved his hand in denial.

"No biggie, little Yuuri."

The bunny cloud passed again, but Yuuri was too busy kissing Wolfram (and getting kissed back!) to notice.

A/N: I completely forgot about posting this. Sorry it’s so late on a Wednesday it’s a Thursday for some, it’s been a long day. I’m looking forward to next week, I’ll have a bit more time to work on this story (at the rate it’s being posted, I’ll run out very soon, so hope I get inspired if you want regular updates XD). Also, sorry for the variation between chapter lengths. While writing I wasn't thinking about when to stop that made things even, so some are long and some are short. Bear with, that'd be nice.

Thanks for reading!