|No Laughing Matter
Author: Gwenyth Hunter PM
JONAS: A response to Challenge #1 at Pure Horace Mantis Community. Joe decides to tackle a personal challenge.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Family - Words: 1,402 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Published: 09-30-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5413354
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Okay, I have decided to take up the challenge! This is my first JONAS fic. And this is actually inspired by two of the given quotes.
Disclaimer: I don't own JONAS, Disney Channel or anything else associated with the show or the brothers. If I did, I wouldn't have to work. Shoot…
This story is not betaed, so I apologize now for any spelling and/or grammar errors. And I hope the following jokes don't offend. They were intended for good clean fun. Enjoy!
"The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose." - Garrison Keillor
"The younger brother must help to pay for the pleasures of the elder." - Jane Austen
Joe Lucas was feeling inspired.
And not to write a song.
No, he was inspired to make Nick laugh.
And why was he feeling inspired to do that some might ask? It was something that was commented on at school earlier that day.
Sara Billingsly, Nick's current crush, had been invited by said Lucas brother to sit with them at lunch. She had remarked on the fact that Nick always seemed so serious. This actually, on a separate note, made Joe doubt she had a mutual crush on his younger brother. Or she had a really bad idea of what impresses boys, because really, it kind of sounded like an insult.
But it also made Joe consider how true that statement was. And while Nick's solemn demeanor made for a good songwriter it made for a boring brother.
And okay, Nick laughed occasionally – usually at home in front of the family only – but the kid was only sixteen, not sixty.
Besides, it had been a boring week for Joe. He needed to make his own entertainment sometimes. And that's what younger brothers were for anyways.
"Hey, I heard this great joke today," he announced at the dinner table as soon as they were all seated.
Nick groaned and threw down his fork while Kevin looked at him expectantly. Frank just opted to ignore him.
"Is it appropriate?" his mother asked before he could continue.
"Of course," Joe answered, sounding offended. Really, he was a gentleman after all. And he knew his mother would wash his mouth out with soap if he uttered anything remotely bad.
"So, what do you call cheese that's not yours?" He gave a suitable pause before revealing the punch line. "Nacho cheese!"
Nick rolled his eyes and went back to his dinner, Frankie shook his head and even Kevin looked disappointed.
"Nice try Joe," his father offered.
"Wait, I have another one! How do you catch a unique rabbit?"
His brothers looked up at him with blank faces. (And really, Kevin too?)
"Unique on it!"
Only Kevin's lip twitched into a smile.
Seriously? It was funny!
He didn't give his family time to move on to another topic of conversation. "How do you catch a tame one?"
Kevin at least was smiling. Nick arched an eyebrow. Frankie gave finally gave him his full attention.
"Tame way! Unique up on it!"
Kevin gave a snort of laugher and Frankie smiled. They still weren't fully committed. And Nick still wasn't laughing dang it!
"What do you call a parrot in a raincoat?"
Kevin laughed and Frankie gave a small chuckle. Nick's eyebrow went back up.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?"
Kevin and Frankie were waiting with smiles while Nick ignored him in favor of his dinner. Little punk.
"No idear! Get it? No idea?!"
Kevin and Frankie laughed and Nick continued to eat.
"What do you a deer with no legs and no eyes?"
"Still no idear!"
Kevin and Frankie were still laughing while Nick still insisted on ignoring him.
Oh it was on!
"What's black, white, black, white, black, white, black and white?"
"A penguin rolling down the stairs!"
Frankie gave a large snort of laughter at that one while Kevin cracked up.
And still nothing from Nick.
"Why did God make only one Yogi bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo!"
Kevin and Frankie were now officially cracking up. But Nick had yet to even smile.
"What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car."
Even their dad was chuckling now and their mom was smiling.
He was surprised she was still letting him go, but he wasn't about to stop now.
Not until Nick laughed gosh darn it!
"What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor!"
No one can resist a fart joke right? Except apparently Nick.
"Please no more jokes about bodily functions at the dinner table Joseph," his mother insisted.
But she didn't say to stop.
Although that left out the joke about the vomit.
And the Tigger and Pooh one. He shrugged mentally. Oh well.
"Okay. I've got a story," he moved on to the next one in his repertoire.
"Once upon a time, long, long ago, in a land far, far away there lived a woman who was just too busy! She decided to make a clone of herself so she could get twice as much work done. Well, the clone helped her a lot, but it also gave her a bad reputation because the clone constantly swore. One day, the woman couldn't take her clone's foul mouth anymore, so she took it to the top of a building and pushed it off. Soon after, the woman was arrested for making an obscene clone fall."
Even his mom gave a little laugh at that one.
But not Nick.
Was his brother even human, because this stuff was clearly funny!
"Here's another one. There was this young married couple and the wife got pregnant and gave birth to twin boys. But unfortunately the couple was very poor so they gave them up for adoption. One boy was adopted by a Spanish family and named Juan. And the other boy was adopted by an Egyptian family and named Amal. Years later Juan became curious about his birth parents and searched for them. After finding them he sent them a nice letter telling them about his life and a picture of himself. When his birth mother saw the picture she turned to her husband and said, 'I'm so glad he's happy. And what a wonderful picture! Now I just wish I had a picture of Amal.' Her husband told her, 'don't worry too much dear. After when you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
His whole family was laughing. Except Nick.
Although Joe thought he saw the corner of Nick's mouth twitch.
But it could have been a burp.
Okay, time for the big gun.
A history joke should make Nick laugh, right?
"How 'bout this one? Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."
His family – unfortunately excluding Nick – was laughing. Although Kevin looked a little confused at first.
But Joe understood. He had to look up Ghandi to get it.
And yet Nick still wasn't laughing.
"I give up!" Joe shouted standing up and throwing his own fork onto the table. "What does it take to make you laugh? Seriously Nick! It's like you're missing some part of your body that makes it impossible for you to laugh! You must be missing your Funny Bone!"
Frankie doubled over laughing; their father and Kevin were still chuckling and their mother was trying to stop giggling.
But Nick stared at him blankly while drinking his glass of milk.
Joe turned and stomped off.
And right onto Frankie's skateboard.
His feet flew out from under him and he fell to the floor landing on his back.
It kind of hurt. But he ignored it.
Because he heard an undignified snort of laughter and Kevin exclaim, "Dude! How'd you get your milk to spray out your nose like that, Nick?"