It sounded like an interlude, a sweet parenthesis in the hectic cadence of the last few weeks but all of a sudden she didn’t care anymore about the reasons that pushed him to do so and she enjoyed being Will’s wife for the rest of the evening.

The first time his hand made contact with hers, something happened in her heart. Against all expectations, she felt it break a bit more as a silent pain escaped from the wound and got lost in her blood, through her veins. She would have died for the salt of her tears against her lips because it was always relieving in the end but nobody was supposed to burst into cries in the middle of a dinner, just like that; for no apparent reason.

“Is she sleeping?”

She didn’t turn around but nonetheless nodded, looking at Louise in the crib. It was late and everybody had finally called it a night but when she had opened the door and faced the emptiness of the bedroom, a sentiment of deep loneliness had wrapped up her heart. So she had rushed to her daughter who was sleeping peacefully, her tiny hand on the rag doll she took wherever she was supposed to be.

For most of her life Karen had tried to build a semblance of logic but everything always ended up crashing down and Louise was the last of her references.

Will approached and stopped by her side before laughing softly as his eyes were locked on his daughter.

“She’s beautiful…”

His voice was soft, warm in the murmurs of his tone.

“I don’t make ugly babies, Will.”

A shy smile played on her lips and as she shrugged, her eyes finally met his. She hadn’t forgotten the way they kept on sparkling in the dark; how many times they had reassured her silent words, all those endless wonders she never dared to say out loud.

And then she understood about the importance of life.

“I never meant to hurt you. Please, don't hate me.”

“You didn’t hurt me, Will. You broke me down into pieces. But even though you decided to kill me, I wouldn’t be able to hate you; never… Look what we’ve done together. Louise gives sense to my life, as well as you do. That’s why I will always be in love with you. And I’m just scared to death that you might change your mind; that it might come to an end. Because it’s so cold when you’re not by my side…”

She finally tasted her tears as he captured her lips in a kiss.

The rest of the night vanished in a trail of stolen smiles, the paleness of their sighs and the delicate emotion to be back in each other’s arms.

It had been a year since the last time, more or less. After Louise’s birth, she hadn’t had any other man because it wouldn’t have sounded right, to her heart.

The coldness of the morning woke her up and as she rolled on her back _ opened her eyes _ Karen smiled. For the very first time life seemed to offer perspectives, again. She dared to have dreams of an existence not so lonely. She turned her head around but froze before the emptiness of the bed. With a shaking hand she caressed the edges of the pillow, still wearing the shapes of his head.

But he had left.

Within a second she jumped out of bed and realized that Louise wasn’t in her crib either. Anxious, she grabbed a pair of grey linen pants and a black cardigan; put them on before rushing downstairs.

The living-room was deserted, as well as the kitchen. As a matter of fact the pale light of the sun was such that it was still probably very early in the morning and everyone was still sleeping. But she hadn’t seen him in Sam’s bedroom either, the door having been left opened all night long since he had stayed with her.

She was about to check in the laundry room when her eyes caught a figure outside, in the backyard.

Wearing a pair of worn jeans and a white shirt, Will was holding Louise in his arms; talking to her. Very slowly Karen made her way out then stopped as he turned around to look at her.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Kare…”

She frowned when he put their daughter down on the grass and let go of her tiny hands; gasped as the toddler made her first unbalanced steps towards her. Karen kneeled down, opening her arms to receive Louise in a silent hug. She was too moved to say the slightest thing.

She stood up again and came to face Will. Smiling, he shrugged and put a hand around her waist before planting a kiss on top of her head.

“You wanted her to walk for Thanksgiving because it reminded you of some time you spent with your father… I guess she heard you and made your hopes come true.”

xxxxxxx

Some people say that I should turn the page; that now he is gone I shouldn’t wait for him anymore. But the truth is that I can’t because if I do so, my life won’t make any sense.

I didn’t have a very quiet existence. It has been hectic, sometimes unbearable; way too harsh. I have made mistakes, not really learned from them to be completely honest but at some point he showed up and brought me the vital balance I had been looking for in vain.

That’s why I will always love Will and I know that he will come back to me.

Because he is supposed to save me; a sort of last call.