|The Haunting of David Rossi
Author: ilovetvalot PM
What happens when David Rossi's tiny Italian mother makes an unexpected reappearance in his life. Please read & review! Co-auth'd with tonnie2001969.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - D. Rossi & Jennifer J./JJ - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,091 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10-27-09 - Published: 10-09-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5429968
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The Haunting of David Rossi
Striding off the elevator with a purposeful step, Graciella Rossi looked around as she tightened her arms around the silver urn clutched in her arms.
"Don't drop me," AnnaMaria Rossi warned.
"I'm not going to drop you, Mother," Graciella bit out, refusing to even look at the ghostly specter next to her hovering an inch off the ground. Out of sight, out of mind, out of sight, out of mind, Graciella mentally chanted.
"In those heels, this is debatable. Really, did you have to choose the ones that make you look like a streetwalker?" AnnaMaria asked.
"Mother, these are four hundred dollar shoes," Graciella hissed in spite of herself, giving in and glaring at the…the…the…THING…that had insisted on accompanying her wherever she went.
"And yet, you'll find them on the common trollops standing at the street corner," AnnaMaria tsked, clutching her transparent black handbag closer to her transparent blue dress. "In my day, a true lady knew the necessity of accessorizing."
"Mother, please! Your day ENDED over a year ago!" Graciella hissed, looking around as she began drawing stares from the desks surrounding her in the BAU bullpen.
"Ay! For the days when women were ladies," AnnaMaria lamented, ignoring the last part of her daughter's statement.
"I'm sure you'll see plenty of ladies during your year with Davie," Graciella bit out, striding toward the center of the maze of desks. She no longer cared who she made contact with, as long as it was another sentient human being that could be conned into receiving the remains, and accompanying ghost, of her mother. Her mother who was supposed to be DEAD!
"I'm sure," a very dead but animated AnnaMaria snorted, very un-ladylike as she pursed her lips. "Since his last two wives were such paragons of virtue."
"You'll have plenty of time to take it up with him, Mother," Graciella said out of the corner of her mouth, striding toward a tall black man watching her. Smiling tightly, she forced herself to use the manners that had been ingrained in her since childhood as she asked, "Excuse me? Could you direct me to David Rossi's office, please?"
"Ah, now this is a man," AnnaMaria said approvingly, looking Derek up and down with her twinkling translucent eyes. "Look at the strong set of shoulders on him. Ask him if he is single, Gracie!"
"Mother," Graciella snapped out of the corner of her mouth, willing the evil woman to listen for once. "Would you please shut up!"
"I'm sorry?" Derek Morgan said, looking around confused. Normally the crazies were stopped at the front gate. He was going to have a chat with security; that was for certain.
"Nothing," Graciella said quickly, flashing a reassuring smile that never reached her eyes. "David Rossi, please." she said pleadingly.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry," a soft feminine voice said from behind her. "He's in a meeting. Would you like to wait?"
"I told you your brother was busy man," AnnaMaria reproved, shaking her stiffly-done coif. Sometimes she felt like her daughter never listened to her anymore.
"Yeah, so busy he couldn't reply via phone, fax or email on when he was gonna pick YOU up!" Graciella hissed, frustration leaking into every word. If her brother thought he was going to weasel his way out of fulfilling his filial duties, he was sadly mistaken.
Exchanging a look with Derek and Spence, JJ tilted her head at the dark haired woman in front of her. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Who was supposed to be picked up by whom?"
Lifting startled eyes to the blond woman, Graciella quickly smiled, "Uhmm, my brother, Davie…I mean David Rossi was supposed to pick up our mother, but evidently he hasn't had time to make arrangements with me. So, I'm here to deliver her. In person."
"Ma'am," Spencer Reid said carefully, standing up and approaching the woman in what he hoped was a non-threatening manner, "David Rossi's mother has been dead for over a year."
"Oh! I know! I brought her to him," Graciella said hurriedly, hefting the silver urn onto Derek Morgan's desk. And in that moment, she couldn't explain it, but she felt relieved. Amazing, totally, and completely relieved!
"If you'll just wait a -" Emily Prentiss said, rising from behind her desk and approaching in the same manner as Reid.
"They think you're crazy, daughter," AnnaMaria said wisely, her best cherub expression on her recently-departed wrinkled little face.
"Got that memo! Thanks!" Graciella blurted, no longer even bothering to lower her voice. She was steps away from freedom. Steps! And she was not about to blow it now.
"What memo?" Spence asked, his eyes widening as he watched the strange woman in front of him start to clench her fists.
"Nothing!" Graciella moaned, shaking her head from side to side as she pulled her handbag closer. "Just tell Davie that my obligation has been fulfilled to our mother! It's his turn," she said, backing away from the desk quickly.
"Wait!" JJ and Emily said in unison, stepping quickly to try to intercept the woman.
"Graciella Maria Rossi Nobbio," AnnaMaria called sharply, turning to glare at her rapidly retreating daughter, "You will NOT abandon me with strangers! It's tacky!"
"No, no…I've gotta run. Just please remind him, I've DONE my part. It's his turn now. Oh, and tell him good luck! He'll need it!" Graciella yelled over her shoulder, sprinting onto the elevator and the waiting freedom. And the double martini that she was going to drain in one gulp just as soon as she locked herself back into her finally ghost-free home!
As four sets of eyes stared at the tall, Italian woman in shock, Emily asked, "What the hell was all that about?"
"How did that woman make it past security?" Spence said, shaking his head. "She kinda reminded me of my mom, and not in the good way either!"
"Better damn question," Morgan yelped, staring in horror at the engraved urn deposited in the center of his blotter. "Who's gonna get the dead lady OFF MY DESK!"
"Even better question. Who IS the dead lady?" JJ asked, cocking her head sideways as she tried to determine what had just happened. Glancing up toward Rossi's office, she saw his door was still closed. So much for him unraveling this mystery for them.
"Don't care. I don't want her final resting place to be my freaking desk," Morgan said, backing away from the urn.
Hovering closer to the young blonde, AnnaMaria said with a tone that can only be perfected by a mother, "Young lady, that man needs to learn some manners. You look like you would know how to treat a guest in YOUR home."
"Well, somebody has to look at it," Emily said, edging away.
"Cowards," JJ mumbled, taking a step forward to look at the engraved name on the urn. Slowly, she recited, "AnnaMaria Dannato Rossi". Taking a step back, her eyes widened. "Holy crap, it really IS Rossi's mother."
"Praise God. She's not as blonde as she looks," AnnaMaria Rossi's ghost smirked.