A/N: This is almost a drabble. I know I always say that I hate to see soulmates separated, but Itazura Na Kiss is one of the only fandoms that can make me tear up and actually completely sympathize when I read stories like this. I don’t know why, maybe because, it’s so easy to understand how much Kotoko goes through and how fragile their love really is, like it could break under the slightest force. This is a story about if Kotoko hadn’t been as strong as she was. Onto the two-shot…

Summary: She wasn’t strong enough anymore, and it killed her too much. She couldn’t live on without him. So, she would no longer live. Dark fic. OOC, AU.

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Title: Unrequited

Rating: T

Author: Breathless Tomb

Two-Shot

3rd Person’s POV

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It drove her out of her mind, to think that he would never love her. To think he never had loved her. He would never—could never—feel the same feelings she felt. She never understood the concept of ‘heartbreak’ before she met Irie. She could never understand the concept of ‘tough love’ before she was forced to live by his side. It was enough to slip her into madness.

To be forced into an emotionless box, was what she was becoming. With every day, it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. She felt suffocated, or drowned. Whatever hurt worse. And each day, it became more apparent to her that Irie would never love her. It began as a faint notion at the back of her head, but as the time passed her, she couldn’t even look Irie in the eye without the screaming ricocheting through her mind.

She hadn’t thought it was possible to literally die of a broken heart. She knew now how wrong she’d been. While her body remained intact, she was slowly dripping away inside. Was it even love to begin with…or pure obsession? She even doubted herself at times, but at times like this, she could see how innocent of a love it’d been. It’d simply been an unrequited love. And that was what killed her. That word.

Unrequited.

A sweet, caring girl had become corrupted and poisoned by love. A sweet and innocent girl had become tainted by another person. She didn’t even think he had any idea how badly his aloofness had taken its toll on her. She didn’t even think he understood how much she loved him. And if he did know…if he truly did understand just how much she hurt inside…

Then he didn’t deserve the muck on the bottom of her shoes.

But no matter how much he hurt her, and no matter how many times he let her down, she would never stop loving him. Even if she had to go away…far away…she wouldn’t let go of her last hopes. Her fruitless hopes. Futile. Unrequited. He would probably forget about her over time…but…she would never—could never—forget his face, or anything else about him.

He’ll never love you, her mind snickered, what he wants—what he needs—is beautiful, clever, and someone he’ll be able to depend on. You, are none of those. Her mind had become so cynical. Her eyes had lost their lights. Even in these last few days—as she constantly reminded herself—she didn’t think he noticed the changes in her. How could he notice, when he never paid attention to her to begin with? She would’ve shook in held back anger, if she had any emotions left. She’d been sapped of her everything. By him.

Painful love.

No love.

You’re nothing.

Not enough.

Perhaps she would’ve been better off giving Kinnosuke a chance. Maybe then she wouldn’t have been so broken inside. Perhaps her love for Kinno wouldn’t have been as powerful as her love Irie, but she would’ve been happy. Kinno made her laugh. He made her smile. Tears didn’t fall from her because of him. And who knew? Maybe she’d done the same thing to Kinno that Irie had done to her. The thought alone made her cringe.

She was nothing without Irie now. She’d let herself become too addicted, too clumsy with her love. She had nothing left. She couldn’t face the dark without him. But that was how t was going to be, it seemed. Because, he wasn’t afraid to be without her. He could live without Kotoko. He could live without ever seeing her again. There was…nothing…left…inside her.

No soul.

No love.

No feeling.

No nothing.

The weight of the gun was almost light in her hands. The shape of it was blurred in the darkness of the room, and blurred also by her tears. She was alone. Again. She couldn’t believe she was acting so selfishly—taking something so precious simply because life had been a little unkind to her. But…it needed to be done. A broken heart can’t move on, and Kotoko was much too fragile to even try anymore.

She was done trying. Done lying to herself about everything. Done doing her best to make Irie fall in love with her. Determination used to be her guiding angel, but now it was just dragging her down. She had nothing left to lose, because her everything had never even been there to start with. But…in the back of her mind…she knew she could forgive him…for hurting her. She wasn’t meant for this life, but he still had so much to offer. So, she could forgive him. Because she loved him enough.

She raised the gun.

Near her temple.

Her shaking finger pulled the trigger.

And with one last tear.

And one last smile.

She faded away.

So she would no longer have to be.

Without him.

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A/N: This is not done yet. Tune in soon for the next half of this emotional, bitter ending story. It’s called a two-shot for a reason. I’m kind of in a ‘Victoria’ mood after writing this (if you still have to ask, check my blog). The other part is actually already done, I’m just spacing out the publication. This isn’t going to have a happy ending. Just putting it at that.

--Breathless Tomb--