My first thought when I saw Lucifer wearing Sam - well, my first first thought was 'Colonel Sanders called and he wants his suit back…' My second first thought was, Not Sam.

How could Sam have given in to absolute evil? And I'm not talking about turning his back on his family and his training and everything we ever fought against. This was about Sam turning his back on everything that was him.

I mean, this is the guy who still blushes when he sees too much skin exposed on a woman. I swear I saw tears in his eyes the one time he was watching the commercial where the little girl gets her lost dog back. And - no lie - we were at a red light just a few months ago and Sam opened his door to reach out and rescue a bug that was stuck and struggling on its back next to the curb.

This was the guy who let Lucifer zip him on like a prom dress?

How? How could Sam have given in?

But I knew. Listening to Lucifer try to grease me up with his lies, I knew - Sam said yes to Lucifer because I'd said no to Sam. For the first time in our lives, Sam needed my help and I said no and told him to move to a different part of the planet.

Yeah, I was tired and fed up and more than a little worried about the whole 'saving the world' deal I was up against. But I left my brother alone against Lucifer.

Lucifer.

How messed up is that?

I wondered if somewhere behind Lucifer's soulless eyes, Sam could still see out onto this world, if he could see me, if somewhere he was still begging me to help him and wondering why I didn't.

Blaming himself because I wouldn't help him when he needed me the most.

Just like Sam couldn't have broken the final seal if I hadn't broken the first one, Sam wouldn't have given himself to Lucifer if I'd given him a reason not to. But I couldn't be bothered. I had my own problems. I was fed up. I was tired.

Looking into those eyes full of nothing but me, me, poor me, I knew I wasn't looking at Sam. I wasn't even looking at Lucifer.

I was looking at myself.

Right then I decided that I was going to get Sammy back. I was going to save him.

Because I was never going to look into those eyes again.

The end.