Alex opened the door and stepped into the apartment, fully expecting to find her husband laying on the couch, fighting sleep. She certainly did not expect the greeting she got. Like his temper, Bobby's passion could be explosive. She had come to welcome that explosive passion, even to look forward to it, but since his mother's death, it had gone missing. She almost didn't recognize the man who grabbed her when she came through the door.

He was on fire, both in body and mind, and he lost control quickly. By turns rough and tender, he overwhelmed her completely. She responded to him, her own passion ignited by his. Losing sight of the problems between them that needed to be addressed, they lost track of everything and focused on each other. It was something they both needed desperately.

Finally spent, with no sense of place or time, he rolled off her, breathing heavily. They'd never even made it to the couch. She rolled into his side and rested her head on his shoulder as she recovered. Lightly kissing his jaw, she said, “I'm going to shower and then I'll get us something for dinner.”

He grunted softly and looked at her with barely open eyes. He struggled to focus on her smile and the soft kiss she gave him as she got up from the floor and left the room. Where every muscle in his body had ached for release when she came through the door, now he was overwhelmed by a deep desire to sleep. He couldn't fight it any more.

When she finished showering, she returned to the living room, dressed in white sweats. Bobby had pulled his shirt over his waist and he was sleeping soundly, right on the floor where she'd left him. With a soft laugh, she knelt beside him, sitting back on her heels. She ran her fingers through his hair, but he didn't stir. Even when she kissed him, there was no reaction. He had slept so poorly since his last surgery it was no surprise that it caught up to him and hit him hard. She continued to stroke his hair. “This is not going to get you out of anything, Goren,” she softly scolded. “We still have things to work out.”

She retrieved a blanket and pillow, and laid down on the floor beside him. Covering them both with the blanket, she snuggled beside him and went to sleep.

As utterly exhausted as he had been, when the pain bit into his sleep, Bobby woke. He was surprised to find Alex on the floor with him, and he wondered what that meant. He got up slowly, trying not to wake his sleeping wife, and limped down the dark hallway to the bathroom and then the bedroom. Dressing in a pair of sweatpants, he returned to the kitchen, where he grabbed his medicine off the refrigerator. He got a glass of water and stood by the sink, staring at the bottle.

He closed his eyes when Alex stepped up behind him and ran her hands over his warm skin. When she began to kiss a path along his spine as her hands lightly caressed his back, he dropped the pill bottle. As it rattled in the sink, she reached around him to retrieve it, placing it back in his hand as she slipped between him and the sink. “Take it,” she murmured, kissing his chest.

As she swirled her tongue around one nipple, then the other, his knees wobbled. “Do that again,” he murmured.

“Medicine first,” she answered, kissing his chest again.

“Al...” he began.

“Medicine,” she repeated, half reminder, half scolding.

She covered his hand, taking the medicine bottle from him. Dumping two pills into her hand, she reached up and pressed first one pill and then the other past his lips. With the tip of her index finger, she stroked his lips, then turned and left the kitchen.

He chased the pills with the glass of water, and he joined her on the couch. Sliding his arm behind her, he leaned in toward her. She braced her hand on his chest and said, “Slow down. We need to talk first.”

What the hell...she'd started it. He groaned. “Do we have to?”

“If you want to play around some more, yes.”

He slid away from her, frowning. She was right. Ignoring the problem was not going to resolve their issues. “Where do we start?”

“You talked to Carolyn. What did she tell you?”

He closed his eyes as the sick feeling in his gut returned. He let out a slow breath. “She, uh, she inferred you were thinking about leaving, but said you weren't going anywhere yet. And then Maggie told me she heard you talking to your dad about moving in with him.”

“Oh...” she said softly. “I didn't realize she overheard us.”

Part of him hoped Maggie had misunderstood the conversation she overheard, but when Alex did not deny it, his gut sank even further. “That's not the point, Alex. You are thinking about...about leaving me? When were you going to spring that one on me?”

She looked away, hurt by the pain in his voice. “Bobby, I...I don't know how to get through to you, and I am sick and tired of being shut out by you. If you can't find some way to let me in when you're in trouble, I...” She trailed off. “God, Bobby, I don't know what to do with you.”

“Alex...I told you...sharing myself is not something that comes easily to me. Do you expect miracles?”

She shook her head. “Not miracles, but some effort. Do I have to threaten to leave you just to get your attention?”

Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temple. He was deeply hurt. “So...love isn't enough for you. You can't just take my heart and soul...you need my mind, my thoughts...Be careful what you're looking for, Alex. My mind can be a frightening place.”

“Bobby...”

“No. Hear me out for a change,” he snapped angrily, shifting his injured knee to a less painful position. “I have done everything you ever asked me to do. When you called me in the middle of the night, for whatever reason, I was there for you. I canceled dates for you, changed my plans for you, took more than one beating for you. My life revolved around you, even when you were married to another man. I put everything on the line for you, and I don't know what more you expect. You can't forgive me for protecting you. What about protecting myself? Oh, wait...I'm not allowed to do that.”

He lurched off the couch and limped into the kitchen. She remained on the couch until he came back out. “Make up your mind, Alex.” He held his arms open. “You knew what you were in for when you married me. I never hid any part of who I am from you. I will do anything for you, and I think I've proven that, but if I fall back on the patterns of my life, or I make the mistake of being myself, you'll have to forgive me. If you can't handle me as I am, tell me now and all I will ever ask of you again is not to keep my children away from me. Don't torture me by stringing me along. I can only do so much to change who I am, and I try only because you want me to change. I'm sorry if I...uhm, if that's not good enough for you.”

He limped down the hall and slammed the bedroom door. She remained where she was, trying to make heads or tails of what he'd just said. She didn't understand what was so difficult about not closing himself off to her. If he even tried, she wouldn't have an issue. But he didn't try. He withdrew into himself and called it protecting her. She'd never asked to be protected from him, and he didn't seem to get that.

She was surprised when he came back out of the bedroom, fully dressed. He wasn't limping as badly, so she knew his medicine was beginning to work. She got up and met him in the center of the room. “Where are you going?”

He stopped and looked at the floor, shifting uncomfortably. “Out.”

She grabbed his arm. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

After a pause, he answered, “I'm thinking if you can't take me the way I am, then you really don't want me. I try to change, even if you don't think I do. The past few weeks I haven't been hiding anything. I've just been trying to deal with the pain, to get past it so I can heal and get back to work. I need to get back to work. I haven't been hiding from you, in spite of what you think. The only reason I stayed away at night is because I didn't want to keep you up. You need your sleep, and there's no reason for you to suffer my pain. But instead of asking me, you start plotting to leave me.” The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. His gut was on fire and his eyes burned with rage and hurt. “This information highway you want between us goes both ways, but you put up the barricade on your end and then blame me for it! That's not fair, Eames. When are you going to start being fair to me?”

She reached out and he let her touch him. He closed his eyes, trembling as he tried to let go of his anger. Alex stepped close and laid her head against his chest. Reflexively, he put his arms around her. When she squeezed him and ran her hands over his back, he began to relax. “I love you,” he whispered, struggling to sort through his emotions. “I'd die for you. Please...don't set me up to fail in this marriage. I know you want everything your way, and I try, but if you threaten to leave every time I fail...you might as well just go. Don't play games with me. If you want to leave, then leave. I won't stop you, Alex. One way or another, you always get your way.”

She wasn't sure how to respond to that, and it took a moment before she could acknowledge to herself that it was true. In most things, he did bend over backwards to make her happy. He always tried to let her have her way, and maybe that wasn't quite fair to him. “You never try to argue with me about getting your way,” she said, trying to defend herself.

He withdrew from her arms and stepped away from her. His gut was still churning and he tried to hold his anger in check. “Because it never mattered to me. When it does, I'll let you know.” He rubbed the back of his neck. "The only thing that I ever asked from you was to see Maggie. And now, the only thing I ask is that you not take my children away from me. I won't force you to stay if you don't want to, but I need them."

"Bobby, I don't want to leave you. But I do want to feel like I'm part of your life."

“We've been over this, Eames. You are the center of my life, but if I don't share every thought with you, that doesn't mean I don't love you. I've spent my life being conditioned to put my own needs and feelings aside, to bury what I feel and keep what I think to myself. Do you have any idea how much stress it puts on me to change the only way I know to be?”

“You said you'd try to be more open with me,” she said, not quite able to keep the accusation from her tone.

He struggled to keep his frustration at bay. “I do try, but you have to give me time. I can't change just like that. I'm not saying I won't keep trying. I just need you to give me a break. Work with me, please. If you put it all on me, I'm not going to make it. I already don't live up to your expectations.”

“That's not true.”

“The hell it's not.”

“Bobby...” she began, but she didn't know just what to say. She moved closer to him. “Please, don't think you disappoint me. You have never disappointed me.”

He looked away. “Don't lie to make me feel better. Just tell me what you want.”

“I want to be happy with you, that's what I want. Look, I can meet you halfway, as long as you don't push me away.”

“Damn it, Alex. If I push, then push back. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it. Don't be afraid to argue with me. I'd rather face you in an argument than have you take the kids and sneak away behind my back!” He dipped at the waist to look into her face. “Don't make me not trust you.”

She placed her fingers on his chin. “Don't self-destruct on me.”

He studied her, distracted by the buzz in his head as well as the desire that flared at her touch. He was doomed, God help him. No matter what she did to him, he would always love her, always forgive her. “So save me,” he challenged. “Don't destroy me.”

She moved closer, sliding her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. She had not meant for him to find out that she'd been thinking of leaving. In spite of the fact that she'd talked to her dad about it, she had not truly intended to go, not permanently. She planned it more as a wakeup call for him. Carolyn's warning would have been enough without sending him into an unnecessary panic. She made up her mind to pay attention to Maggie's whereabouts when she was having sensitive discussions. Now he would need a great deal of reassurance, and she was unprepared for that.

She turned her face up and was deeply relieved when he leaned down to kiss her, deeply and with passion. She relaxed. Pressing herself into him, she was relieved to find his arousal full and ready. If she could stir his desire, he wasn't as angry as she first thought. She shifted her position and teased his lips with her tongue as she tried to distract him.

He didn't want to be distracted and was barely able to pull himself out of the fog of desire and medication that blurred his mind, but he managed. He backed out of her arms to gather himself, raising his hands. “Sex isn't the answer to anything. We haven't resolved this. Alex...I can't live my life wondering when you're going to leave. You need to commit to me completely or you need to leave me. I can't handle this halfway bullshit. I love you more than you know, and I always will, but if you don't feel the same way, we aren't going to make it. I have made very few demands of you, but this one I have to insist on. It's all or nothing. Make up your mind.”

She snorted, annoyed. “I've been married before...”

“And I never have. You know how it works...yeah, I get that. But every marriage is fundamentally unique. I know you weren't happy with Ricky, and I tried not to interfere. I also know that Joe was the love of your life and I'll never measure up to him. I would never try to. I don't want to erase your past. I just want to build a future with you.” He looked at the floor. “If I expect too much, tell me...”

She approached him tentatively. He did not look up until she touched his arm. There was no mistaking his pain, and her chest constricted. He withdrew his arm from her touch. He had made the mistake of believing she was committed to this marriage, but apparently, it was old hat for her. Maybe this was all his fault. It wouldn't be the first time. In his inexperience, he'd driven their marriage up onto the rocks, and she had let him, just to prove he didn't know what he was doing. “Look,” he said, moving away from her toward the door. “If you want me, I'll be at Mike's...”

She cut him off quickly, stepping into his path and shaking her head. “So you can watch porn and pour beer on top of your medication? No, I don't think so.”

He tossed his hands in the air. “I don't know what you want,” he growled angrily, near the end of his rope.

“I want you,” she insisted, reaching up to caress his cheek. “Dammit, I love you and I want you right here, with me, at the center of my life. We have children to raise and a life to build together.”

He had no trouble reading the sincerity in her face. “And you don't want to face Maggie and explain to her why I don't live here any more.”

“That, too.”

He studied her face. He could not imagine loving a woman more and that was the bottom line for him: he loved her. He knew that he would always forgive her, no matter what she did. He wished she could be as forgiving, but he wasn't going to try to change her. That wasn't his way. The frustration she caused him was part of her charm, kind of.

“So...you want me to stay?” he asked.

“Yes, I do.”

“You'll meet me halfway if you have to and confront me when you think I'm not being open enough with you?”

Confrontation was something she knew how to do. “Yes.”

Impulsively, he brushed his lips over hers. “Don't threaten me. Talk to me.”

“I will.” She drew his lower lip into her mouth and ran her tongue along it. “Now stop talking so we can make up.”

She slipped her hands beneath his shirt and pushed it toward his head as he grasped it and yanked it off. Kissing his chest, she murmured, “What was it you wanted more of?”

She teased one nipple with her tongue, then the other one, as she rubbed her hips against him. He closed his eyes and his balance faltered. He stumbled backwards toward the hall. His head was spinning, and when he crashed into the wall in the hallway, his momentum carried him sideways and he hit the floor. She dropped beside him and he pulled her onto him, burying his face in her sweatshirt. Tugging at the offending garment, he growled, “Off.”

Fear gave way to relief, and rage turned to passion. Expert fumbling shed clothing quickly, and she was soon breathing hard, begging him to continue. He needed no encouragement. When she cried out and arched into him, he tumbled over the edge with a groan.

His head was swimming and spinning as he rolled off her and tried to catch his breath. The world around him began to fade until she called his name. He struggled to open his eyes and focus, but he wasn't very successful. She called him again. “Come on,” she whispered into his ear. “Let me help you up and into the bedroom.”

She gently stroked his side, and his eyes began to slide closed again. He groaned softly, and she leaned down to kiss him. “Come on, baby,” she whispered, nipping his ear.

The sharp pain that accompanied her nip drew him back to her. She helped him to his feet and steadied him against the wall. He drew his lower lip between his teeth and took a couple of deep breaths. Squeezing his arm, she asked, “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “Just...very tired.”

“Let's get you to bed, then. Come on.”

He was unsteady and reluctantly leaned on her for support. The adrenaline that came with anger, fear and lust was gone, leaving him drained and compounding his exhaustion. Once they got to the bed, he collapsed onto it and watched the room dip and spin. She sat at his side and touched his cheek as she ran her thumb along his chin. “How do you feel?” she asked.

“Good,” he assured her. “I'm good.”

He wasn't lying. The pain had finally retreated, leaving behind a dull ache in his knee, a buzz in his head and a deep fatigue in his body. She placed her hand on his chest and lightly caressed. He stroked her side. “Please don't leave,” he murmured. “Don't leave me.”

She leaned down and kissed him. “I won't leave you,” she promised.

He scooted over and gently pulled her down beside him, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling her neck. She laughed and squirmed against him, nestling deeper into his arms. He buried his face in her hair and drew in a deep breath. “Never go,” he whispered.

“Never,” she replied, resting her head against his chest.

He settled his cheek against her head. In his mind, few things were better than making up with his wife. Fighting with her was intensely stressful, and making up with her nearly matched it in intensity. That almost made it worth the fighting.

“You know, you were wrong about something,” she said as he stroked her stomach.

“What was that?” he wondered, keeping sleep at bay with an effort.

She reached over him to grab the blanket and cover them, shifting her position and draping her leg over his. She stroked his side and pressed herself against him, teasing his mouth with her lips and tongue. She wanted more and he mustered the energy to accommodate her.

When she fell back onto the pillows, finally sated, he turned onto his side to face her. He was completely relaxed and beyond exhaustion, and he grinned sleepily at her, stroking her hip. He was at the end of his endurance and fighting sleep as he pressed his body against hers and pulled her into his embrace. “Tell me how I was wrong,” he whispered into her ear.

His breath tickled her ear and she laughed and squirmed. He squeezed her, nibbling her ear. She nestled comfortably in his arms and sighed. “About Joe,” she said softly.

“How was I wrong about Joe?” he asked.

“Joe was my first true love, and I will miss him forever. But he isn't the love of my life. Not any more. He has a special place in my heart, but you are the love of my life, Bobby. Never forget that.”

Her admission surprised him, but he didn't doubt her sincerity in saying it. “I've never loved any woman more,” he murmured into her ear.

His mind was wrapped in a fog and he was sleepy. She turned to face him and rubbed his chest. He softly hummed, content. “Keep doing that,” he whispered drowsily.

His eyes grew heavier as sleep became an overwhelming need. He couldn't fight it and he slid into a deep, content slumber.