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Author of 21 Stories |
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.
A/N: Sorry, but I'm still having issues with my other stories that I really want to update. So please bear with me. And try guessing who it is at the end.
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Where I Belong
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Dying sucks. Well, that’s what I think anyway, especially when you do die and come back to die again. But, I guess it isn’t that bad when you protect the ones you care for, but I’m not going to say anything about it. I guess I’ll just nod my head and just go along with whatever the others say; even if I don’t know what they are saying. Most of the time I’m in my own little world, not knowing where I belonged. It’s how its always been, and nothing has really changed, including me. Or…have I?
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Rei yawned and stretched her arms above her head, blinking away her sleep and shaking her daze away as she got up off her futon to go get dressed and start her day. Sauntering to her closet, she slid the smooth wooden doors open and dug out a pair of dark, worn black jeans, a simple white T-shirt, and a black hoodie jacket with a picture of Jin from Samurai Champloo on the back of it. Slipping on the comfortable clothes and a pair of white socks, she slipped on her red and black checkered Vans and jogged to the kitchen, only to stop and bow to her grandfather on the way.
It was supposed to be a nice day out, and she was supposed to meet her fellow senshi at the Crown, though she personally didn’t want to. Honestly, she wanted to go down by the old hangar at the shipyard and practice her music in peace but there was no luck today. Unless…
Rei grabbed the half gallon of 1% milk and poured some of the pure liquid in her favorite Alphonse mug, sighing when she put it on the counter to make some toast.
‘Unless I just skip the meeting and make up some lame excuse later.’ she thought before the toast popped up from the stainless steal toaster next to the large red fridge and placed the two pieces on a paper plate to butter. Taking the plate, she went to the center of the pretty small room and plopped down on one of the high wooden chairs, placing the plate on the white tiled table and grabbing a knife and the tub of Country Crocket butter, putting and spreading a large amount of butter on each before nearly drowning them in grape jelly.
‘To go, or not to go? That is the question.’ she thought, nibbling on a piece of over dressed toast absent mindedly, ‘I wonder if hamlet had this much trouble? I mean, I know he was a bit psycho and all, but he didn’t have to face a bunch of, well, over attached girls who are afraid to let go of each other.’
Rei finished her toast and threw away the paper plate, shouting to her grandfather that she was leaving to go meet with the others at the Crown.
‘I guess, I’m going after all.’ came the thought as she strolled reluctantly, and with a heavy weight strapped to her back to the front of the Crown. Amethyst eyes looked wearily at the sign before a sigh escaped ruby lips. She strolled into the place, being instantly greeted by the loud chatting and laughing of her friends.
The raven glanced at the group, feeling oddly detached, and wondering why she even came here in the first place since she was already feeling the light burning of irritation at the group huddled together so carefree and happy. With a sigh, the miko strolled to the table, feeling as though their was an invisible weight chained tightly around her ankles and growing heavier and heavier with each step she took. Was this worth it? To come and sit in the presence of all these people who knew where they were going, thought were afraid to let go, even if for a little while? While, she was willing to let go and move on, yet had no idea as to where she was going?
A ring of welcomes sounded as she just smiled, nodded, and dragged a chair from another table to sit at the end of the booth since there was no room in it. Not that she was complaining as she plopped down and leaned back in the cool, cushioned chair, watching as the others continued to chat happily.
‘It feels so foreign.’ she thought, closing her eyes for a moment, ‘It all feels so foreign.’
“Hey Rei!” called two high pitched voices, the equivalent to a herd baby chicks in her opinion, not letting her go into her own little world today.
Rei looked lazily towards her princess, currently clinging to her prince’s arm and then towards her ‘twin’ who was mimicking the pose and clutching onto the senshi of time and tried not to wince slightly at the sudden prick of dull pain that began to throb in her chest.
“What are you going to do once school is over?” asked an excited Usagi, hope shining in her and the other blonde’s eyes.
“Yeah,” Minako said, leaning forward and asking, “Where are you going to college?”
Rei sighed, and chuckled a little dryly in her head, ‘That’s right. School’s going to end soon, and then we’re going to all be going our own way. Maybe. They want me to go to the same college they’re going to and that wouldn’t qualify as ‘going my own way’ at all.’
Rei shook her head, looking away from the pair of the questioning and awaiting Usagi and Minako, noticing the whole table had gone quiet, anticipating her answer and closed her eyes, standing up, and slipping her hands into her warm, hoodie pockets.
“Rei?”
Rei looked back at the group, specifically the large, clear blue, worried and questioning eyes before turning back around and saying with a shrug, “I’m going where the wind takes me.”
The miko walked out and away from the Crown, having enough of the stuffy atmosphere, and relishing in the crisp winter air that blew around her, tousling her long raven locks and bringing a shadow of a smile to her face. Without stopping, the raven picked up speed and began jogging through the throng of people and towards the shipyard, only to make a quick stop at the shrine to get her guitar.
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It was a few minutes later, heaving in deep breathes of cold air that sent a nice burning feeling through her chest, she was standing in the shipyard in front of a large old, crusty white and red lighthouse, smiling and sharply breathing in the cold, salty air of the sea, nearly tasting it on her tongue. There was a sense of peace and calm that welled up within her as she was the only one there, and strolled down the cemented pier that held the lighthouse, only to gently set her cased guitar on the side before sitting down her self and taking out the wooden instrument from out of its nice black leather home.
Strumming lightly a few times and tuning her guitar before nodding in satisfaction, Rei closed her clouding eyes and began to let her slim fingers dance along the cords, creating a nice tune before singing, oblivious to the group of people walking towards her.
‘I am going away for awhile
but I’ll be back don’t try and follow me
because I’ll return as soon as possible
See I’m trying to find my place
And it might not be here where I feel safe.
We all learn to make mistakes
And run from them, from them
with no direction
We’ll run from them, from them
with no conviction.
‘cause I’m just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don’t need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go, in circles.
Now I’m told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify our broken hearts and twisted mind
So I can find someone to rely on
And run to them, to them,
full speed ahead
Oh you are not useless
We are just
Misguided Ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there’s no one road
We should not be the same
But I’m just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles. ‘
Rei sighed softly, finishing the song, and smiling distantly to herself, letting the breeze tug on her hair while she put her guitar away in its case, locking it and giving it a pat before standing up and slinging it over her shoulder. Turning around, Rei jumped and nearly fell backwards into the frigid ocean abyss when shocked amethyst eyes laid on the group of friends she left behind in the crown, applauding, yet not moving from where they stood. It was obvious that the group had questions, and that they were still a little hurt from earlier, but she didn’t care, she wasn’t up to dealing with this.
So, regaining her composure, she grimaced and cursed under her breathe before demanding, “What are you guys doing here?”
Minako stepped up and away from her ‘puu-chan’ and glared back at fiery, confused, amethyst eyes, retorting with arms crossed over her chest, “ Finding you.”
Rei sighed for the umpteenth time and ran a hand through her mussed up raven locks replying “Why?”
“Are you just going to ask questions all day, or are you going to answer us?”
Rei frowned, and gazed at the group, wanting to keep silent and run away when Usagi walked up next to Minako speaking softly, concern sewn in the undertones of her sweet voice, “Rei, please?”
Rei looked back and forth between the blondes, watching as those beautiful bright blue orbs flickered with something undecipherable and setting off a spark of pain to shoot into the miko’s already battered heart.
“If you’re expecting me to apologize, then forget it.” she bit out, earning shocked gasps, and shook her head at it.
Closing her eyes and counting to ten, Rei looked skyward to the beautiful blue canvas that hung above and said distantly, “I want to get away. To follow the wind and find where I belong. I feel so suffocated around you. You’re so clingy, afraid to let go and lose, afraid of change and meeting new people who would love you just by meeting you. I feel so dragged down, chained, and yet aimless at the same time.”
Looking into confused, shining blue eyes she said, “Let me go. Let me go where the wind will take me. To a place I’ll belong. To find myself. To help me let go of you before my heart beats no more because of the over bearing pain that pierces it every time I see you with someone else. Please.”
Without saying another word, nor waiting for a reply, Rei ran, bursting through the group, and kept going, letting her feet lead her to some new destination.
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Bright red, yellow, and orange stained the sky, a deep violet seeping through to slowly usher in the ever growing night. The winds, still playful, yet so much more colder than that morning ran through the fields of bright green glass, turning slightly golden as the evening rays of the warm sun bathed them in its dark golden light. On top of a large hill, the miko stood, hands in pockets as she stared dazedly up at the sky, still not really sure of what she should think about her outburst that afternoon.
‘I can’t believe I said that.’ she thought with a dry laugh, ‘I’m pretty sure that they now want to kill me or something, especially after that confession.’ the miko shrugged, feeling a true grin tugging at the edges of her lips, ‘Oh well.’
Rei continued to watch the struggle of colors in the sky, enjoying the sense of freedom that lifted her soul after finally getting what she wanted off of her chest and laughed loudly, with such ease. The sudden sound of shuffling grass abruptly stopped the miko, and slowly turning, amethyst eyes widened in shock at crystal blue orbs staring back into her own and her soul as they always did, long golden hair flowing with a gentle glow in the wind.
“What-?” she began to ask, only to be cut off by the sudden blissful contact of supple lips against her own.
Closing her eyes and bringing toned around to hold the figure before her, Rei lost herself in the deepening kiss.
‘Maybe this is where I belong.’