My Brother’s Girlfriend,
by Kichi Penn

Chapter Four: The Not-So-Great-Kind-of-Escape

To: Haruno Sakura (342-532)
From: Yamanaka Ino (343-236)

Forehead Girl,

No time 2 explain, but go to the *bucks nearest the Ice Bitch’s house. Bring backup and some money for a new hot chocolate. I’ll pay you back.

WE NEED TO ESCAPE!

- Ino

(PS: Ice Bitch= Sasuke)

To: Uzumaki Naruto & Inuzuka Kiba (358-539; 332-471)
From: Haruno Sakura (342-532)

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! (I think!)

Meet me the Starbucks on Warson Rd. Will explain when we get there!

(PS: Naruto, how much does a hot chocolate cost at Starbucks?)

“This,” Kiba spoke loudly to nobody in particular, “is the best day of my life.”

“I know what you mean, man,” Naruto grinned at his brunette friend. “I’m never going to let them forget this.”

“Shut up, guys!” Sakura didn’t seem to think any of what was happening was even the least bit funny. Which was kind of understandable, considering the facts that a) Ino was her best friend and she was new to the town, and b) sneaking off with the youngest member of the Uchiha family and hiding from said boy’s older brother was not going to get her a good rep. “They called us because they needed our help!”

“Texted,” Kiba corrected her for no reason other than to be annoying. “If they called they would’ve given themselves away.”

“Whatever,” she snapped, flicking her hair over her shoulder with an indignant huff. "Just... shut up!"

The group fell into an awkward silence for a moment, but as always, it was quickly broken by Naruto. “How are we going to do this?” he wanted to know. “I mean, it’s not like we can just go in there and pull them out without Itachi noticing.”

Kiba sighed. “I really, really don’t want him to notice us,” he said with a shudder. “Remember what happened when we were eight and going on that one nature walk for school, and Itachi was one of the chaperones?”

Naruto rolled his eyes, and Sakura put a comforting hand on Kiba’s shoulder. She had heard this story dozens of times before and hoped Kiba wasn’t about to tell it again. “Come on, Kiba,” she soothed. “Let it go.”

But Kiba’s eyes were already growing cloudy. “All I did was push Sasuke a little bit,” he said. “Nothing much. And… and he went psycho on me! I had nightmares of the guy for, like, three weeks!”

“Kiba—”

“I mean, really,” Kiba couldn’t stop. “What kind of person would hit an innocent, adorable eight-year-old boy over the head with his walking stick?”

Naruto began to laugh. “Sorry, dude,” he said between snickers, “But that was the best part of the trip!”

“Maybe for you, knucklehead,” Kiba muttered. “Itachi doesn’t pick on you because you’re the bastard’s best friend, but one day you’re going to take it too far!”

“For the love of God, shut up!” Sakura slapped them both. “You need to focus. Now,” she crossed her arms and gave the boys a pointed look. “We’ve got to think of all the ways we could do this.”

Kiba grinned crookedly, glancing at the blonde of the group. “I think I know.”

Ohmigod. Ohmigod, Ohmigod, Ohmifreakingholycrappin’god.

Ino repeated her mantra over and over as she buried her head into Sasuke’s shoulder. She had no choice. If she didn't, she wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to look, and if she looked, she’d laugh. And if she laughed then the whole rescue plan would be ruined for sure.

Giggling hopelessly into his clothing, she could feel Sasuke laughing silently, which surprised her. He didn’t seem the laughy type.

Then again, it wasn’t everyday that a boy wore a dress, either.

“Uzumaki Naruto,” she whispered to the Uchiha. “He’s in my homeroom.”

“I know,” he whispered back, “The dumbass is my best friend.”

Ino grinned at that. “Unfortunately, right?”

“Hn,” he said, but his voice had a smile in it.

Lifting her head off his arm, she decided to peek one more time. Lifting up the tablecloth, she nearly choked. There was Naruto, in a red dress that looked a little too much like Sakura’s, wearing a blonde wig and batting his/her eyelashes at Itachi.

Are those oranges? Ino narrowed her eyes at Naruto’s supposed “chest.” They look like it.…Not that she’d know. She didn’t stuff her bra.

Anyway.

“So, tall, dark, and handsome.” Naruto leaned forward across the table as he made his voice surprisingly feminine. “What's your story?”

Itachi was clueless. “I don’t really have time to tell you that,” he said. “I’m in a hurry.”

Naruto wanted to rip his wig off. He swore, the Uchiha brothers were clueless when it came to woman—which was really cruel, if you asked him. Seriously, girls loved them, and they had no idea! God, this made his job harder.

Cursing under his breath, Naruto reached out and snagged the police cap right off Itachi’s head.

“HEY!” Itachi shot out of his seat. “Give that back right now, Miss, or I’ll have no choice but to arrest you for harassment!”

Naruto rolled his eyes. Like that hadn't happened about a million and one times already.

Smirking, Naruto flipped the older man off, knowing it would provoke him even further. “Catch me if you can, bastard,” he said, winking.

And with that, he turned, already running out the door.

And without so much as a moment's hesitation, Itachi was right behind him.

...

"So how far d'you think he'll get in those high heels?"

"Maybe three blocks."

"Aa."

Author's Note: Short once again, but never fear! The next chapter is much longer- or it will be once you vote on the poll. Yes, another poll. I am a poll freak.

Here's what the poll's about: you get to pick the events in the next chapter. Like, what happens next. Cool, huh? ;)

For Green Gallant, because I finally managed to make him review this story. (Stubborn bastard...)

ALSOALSO! eleven reviews last chapter. omigod. For that reason, the next chapter will be at least twice as long as this one. I promise!

ALSOALSOASLO! I started a SasuIno drabble series called DISTANCE. Check it out? :D

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Thank you to deathrosekitty, Ino Y. Uchiha, Green Gallant, akane0arwen5, animal loving girl, NFN Girl, kiwi4me, via-loves-tyson, missmridvika, zx-ChiCho-zx, and machi-tan for the wonderful amazing reviews! I'm looking forward to hearing from you all again!

And don't forget about the poll, ya here me?