Okay so here's my first attempt at writing. I warn you now, it's not good. At all. But i had an idea and had to go with it. I probably won't be updating very often, but will try when i can :)

First of a Big shout out to ladies over at Wide Awake Rehab! You guys make me laugh so hard my husband is considering putting me in a mental institution!

A HUUUUGEEE thank you to my three lovely beta's Mopstyle, AllySue and PrincessNixie. Without them you would be reading the worst case scenario of punctuation, grammar and general nonsense! They are my yellow brick road :)

So yeah, read, review, vomit :)

[Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all it's characters, i just fuck them around and shove them in my story!]

Chapter One

BPOV

I stared at the blank screen in front of me, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't do what I knew had to be done. Without him I was nothing, just an empty shell. Without him I had no passion, no love, no meaning for life. Unless I could be with him I could not be my true self. My eyes finally started to spill the tears I had held in for so long and as I cradled my head in my arms, I thought back to where it had all started.

New Years Eve 2007

I was so excited about tonight that I tripped over the cord from my hair straighteners and narrowly missed the corner of the dressing table.

"Well, that would have been a good look," I said out loud to myself, thinking what I would have looked like with a nice black eye.

I had been looking forward to this night for ages. I had found the perfect dress and the sexiest shoes I could find that matched. It was a bright red, bandeau style mini dress and it had an enormous red flower that nestled just on top of my hip. Jacob was going to find it so hard to keep his hands off me!

Tonight was New Year's Eve and after spending such an amazing Christmas with Jacob, I knew this was going to be the night he would do it. As I strapped my red stilettos up I thought back to when I first met him.

"So you're Bella Swan?"

He was gorgeous. He had perfect russet coloured skin and amazingly deep eyes. It was near impossible to reply coherently after seeing those eyes.

"Uh...Y-Yes sir."

"Oh no, please call me Jacob," he quickly replied with a wink that sent my insides tumbling. He started to walk around behind me as I carried on staring out through the huge glass window that over looked Seattle.

"Uh..sorry s-Jacob," I promptly corrected, cursing myself for being such a babbling wreck in front of my new boss.

"Well Bella, I think you're really going to like it here, we're very welcoming."

That's when he lightly grabbed my shoulders and sent my heart flying.Thewarmth of his hands was comforting and the tickling feeling of his breath playing on my neck sent a shiver down my spine.

Two weeks later, he took me on his desk; rough and hard while Seattle watched on.

It had been the start of a beautiful relationship. Tonight I knew he was going to make the next step with me. So I powdered my nose and re-checked my lipstick before flying through the door to meet him for dinner at one of the most elite restaurants in town.

The night air was cool outside and it sent goose bumps down my legs. I called a cab down and excitedly got inside.

"Where to, love?" the cab driver asked.

"Chez Shea Restaurant, please."

Chez Shea was the most romantic French restaurant in Seattle. It was well known to be the best place to go if you wanted to make a woman your wife to be. It was on top a beautiful white building that overlooked the vast ocean. It had the best rating in town and was very hard to get a reservation at. Jacob had no problem, of course.

When I arrived, he was already waiting for me. He was on the phone with somebody and he was wearing the biggest grin I'd seen. I hadn't seen him for a few days, but when I took him in now I almost trembled to my knees, like I had the first day I saw him.

He was wearing a black tuxedo, which made his broad shoulders look massive. He reminded me slightly of my brother.

I could see him playing with the silverware on the table while he chatted away on his phone. This was my future and I loved what I was seeing.

As I approached him, he looked up and quickly slammed his phone shut as if in panic. I wondered who he had been talking to and why he would react like that, but I shrugged it off. Nothing was going to ruin tonight.

He stood up abruptly and pulled my chair out for me whilst giving me a quick peck on the cheek. As I sat down he sat back in his own chair and looked at me deeply. Something was troubling him, I could tell, but before I could ask what, we were interrupted.

"Good evening, can I get you a drink?" the waitress asked. She was quite tall, with strawberry blonde hair that was tied up in a little bun. She was wearing a shirt and waistcoat that matched the other waitresses and the shortest skirt I had ever seen. Her name badge read "Tanya."

"I'll have the house rosé, please," I politely replied whilst trying to hide my disgust at the shortness of her skirt.

Jacob grabbed her hand and passionately said, "And for me, my love, I'll have whatever you recommend me," Jacob winked at her, at the same time he started patting her hand. I couldn't believe my eyes. Tanya's cheeks burned a vibrant red before she quickly nodded and ran off.

"What the hell was that about?" I stoutly said across the table. I was trying my hardest not to scream it at him.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Nothing Bella, it was nothing, I was just being polite."

"I think that was a little more than polite Jacob!" I replied, a little hurt.

"Fine, I'm sorry. Happy?"

I couldn't believe the attitude he was giving me. He had never acted like this. It was almost as though he was trying to push me away.

All through our relationship we had been the perfect couple. We hardly argued and when we did, it was only about trivial things like me wanting chicken for dinner and him wanting beef, when I'd already gotten chicken out of the freezer. We had been together a year and in that time I had truly fallen for him. He had a perfect charm and had dazzled me continuously with his boyish features and his expressive eyes. The entire time we had been together he had never laid eyes on another woman. He had made me feel special and unique, as though he would never find anyone else like me. However, since that display in front of me, I knew something was wrong.

"What's going on Jacob?" I stared at him seriously, waiting for a reply.

After another long sigh he shifted forwards, leaned across the table and quietly spoke.

"I'm sorry Bella, but I really don't know how else to put this. I was going to wait until after dinner, but..."

"But what?" I loudly asked him. He got flustered from my anger and then straightened up.

"But it's over, I can't be with you anymore. You lack any passion and to be honest it bores me." the harsh words spewed from his mouth.

As if she had timed it perfectly Tanya returned with the glass of wine and the beer she had chosen for Jacob. Without thinking, I sharply stood up and grabbed the wine glass, before throwing the contents at Jacob's face.

I then grabbed my purse, screamed a fiery "Screw you!" at him and ran out of the restaurant. My eyes then started spilling with warm tears, as the realization suddenly hit me.

I felt like such a fool. I thought we had something special, but after that act with Tanya, it was obvious that I was just another girl he had screwed along the way. I had fallen into his trap of security and comfort. I felt I had betrayed myself because I had managed to let myself believe in the impossible.

How could anyone love me? I was Bella Swan, boring journalist at The Seattle Times. I wrote the obituaries and occasionally a local sports piece. I sat at home every night reading and rarely did anything daring. I was a no-one and even thinking Jacob could love me was a stupid idea.

At that moment, my heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest and into a million pieces. I just wanted to fall to my knees on the cold pavement and stay there until death took me, because nobody would actually miss me, if I was being honest with myself. As I sat down on the concrete, it was then I heard a comforting noise. It was a big booming voice from the one person I knew I could trust and knew loved me unconditionally.

"Bella? What the hell has happened? Why are you on the floor? Are you okay?"

I looked up to see my enormous brother and watched as his muscular arms carefully, but effortlessly, picked me up off the ground. He was a Seattle Seahawks Quarterback and he was built like a brick shithouse. I cuddled him tightly and let the sobs come out onto his steel like chest.

"J-Jacob, h-he dumped m-me," I spluttered out into the warmth of his thick jumper.

"Why that son of a bitch, I knew he was going to hurt you! I just knew it!" he boomed above me, "Where is he Bella? I'll kill him, I swear!"

"You will do no such thing Emmett Swan," a harsh voice stated behind him. That's when I noticed that we weren't alone.

Rosalie Hale stood behind my brother looking elegant as always, wearing a long silver dress that had a split up the side, showing off her perfectly toned legs. She had her hands on her hips and she was wearing a stern frown. She was my brother's fiancée and infamous weather woman for the local news station KING5.

She was definitely wearing the trousers in the relationship and for this I didn't really rate her as a friend. However, in this moment in time, I had to agree with her. Although Jacob had broken my heart and deserved for something of his to be brutally broken, he was still my boss, I had to work with him, and violence never got anybody anywhere. Well except for a GBH charge, which Emmett had collected many of in his teenage years.

"She's right Emmett, he's not worth it," I whispered as I shook my head slowly, "Can you give me a ride home though?"

"Of course we can sis, that's what I'm here for," he said as he bundled me up in his arms for another bear-like hug. I could see the hissy fit Rosalie was about to throw, so I quickly changed my mind, as I was not about to inflict that onto my brother.

"Actually don't worry about it Emmett, I'll just grab a cab. You and Rose have a good night."

I smiled as sweetly as possible at Rosalie, praying her temper would calm down. Thankfully it worked and she smiled quickly back whilst giving her head a slight nod.

"Oh, right okay, only if you're sure though Bells?" he responded, confusion slightly lining his face and apparent in his voice.

"Honest, Em, its fine, I need some time alone anyway."

I tracked down a cab and as I opened the door I quickly turned around to face my brother.

"I'll call you soon, don't worry."

I then gave him a peck on the cheek and hurried into the cab. I watched him as I left. He had his arm up around his head and a look of worry and confusion still on his face.

As we drove along, I found it difficult to keep myself from bursting into tears. What had I done wrong? Why didn't he love me anymore? Did he even love me in the first place? So many questions were revolving around my head I felt like it was about to topple off. The cab journey felt like hours. I just wanted to go home to my bed and never get out again.

As soon as we arrived at my apartment, I paid the cab driver and ran to the door, trying not to fall over in my ridiculously high heels. After I had closed the door for the night, I slid down it into a heap on the floor and I let the tears cascade over me and my bright red dress. My future was over.

EPOV

I stared back at the place where I had grown up. It seemed so small now, compared to when I had lived there. Obviously I had grown bigger and taller, which would appear to make it seem smaller, but it had felt so big when I had been younger. It had been my castle to play in, my escape and comfort for when I was feeling sad and lonely.

I looked down at the rusted key in my hand and slowly walked towards the wooden door. The paint was peeling off everywhere; mould and ivy vines covered the windowsills of the Victorian styled windows. I sighed as I put the key in the door and turned it so that the door fell open in front of me.

I took a big breath, walked in and then the scents hit me. The scents from my childhood, the scents that made me remember where this had all began. I smiled to myself whilst I replayed the memories in my head.

"Daddy can we make cookies today?"

"Hmm, I think the customers would want something a little more filling than that Edward," Carlisle laughed as he scooped me up off the floor onto his shoulders.

"How about we make some cookies for you and Alice and then I'll make Lasagna for the customers?" He jumped up and down, which made me giggle out loud.

"Sound's good daddy, can use peanut butter as well?"

"We can use whatever you want son," he said as he swung me off his shoulders and gave me a tight hug.

In that moment I was happy, but I also missed Carlisle terribly. He and Esme had moved to Spain in their retirement. I had bought the restaurant off of him for a good price, knowing that my money would be used to help them start their new life over there. He had refused to take my money any other way, so we had settled on the building.

Carlisle and Esme weren't my real parents, but they were close enough as could be. My parents, Elizabeth and Edward Masen, had died in a terrible car accident when I was just a year old. Carlisle and Esme were the family friends that were babysitting at the time, so that my parents could go out for their anniversary.

They never came home that night.

As my parents both had no siblings and had no living relatives, Carlisle and Esme took me in for adoption. They treated me like their own and two years later my sister Alice was born.

We were like typical brother and sister; we fought, we played, and then when we were teenagers we took the piss out of each other and avoided each other. However, now as adults, we got on brilliantly. She really brought out the best in me. It was her idea for me to take over Carlisle's restaurant. She said that I needed a challenge to lighten up my life. Trust her to see my life as dull and boring.

Carlisle had owned this dilapidated building in front of me for over twenty years. It was his pride and joy and I really, truly hoped that I could turn it into something he would be proud of.

After walking in through that old wooden door and taking a look at what surrounded me, I knew I was going to have a hell of a hard time trying to fix this place up.

Everything looked like it had just come out of a 60's film, with the tacky plastic booths and the horrible sunflower wallpaper that was nearly peeling off the walls. As a child, I'd never really paid much attention to the finer details, but as I'd grown older I'd learnt to appreciate them. What stood in front of me was abysmal.

My plan was to completely gut the place. I would live above in the apartment that I used to live in as a child and work downstairs, doing my best to restore the beauty that I knew this building contained. It was going to be a hard job, but I knew if I stuck at it, it would be completed in a couple of months.

As I stood there planning in my head how I would lay out the tables and where I would put the bar I heard the noise, that of late, gave me an instant headache.

"OH. MY. GOD!"

"Hello Victoria, I'm glad you could make it," I turned around to the tall supermodel that stood behind me. She was wearing a short black mini dress that had only one strap and platform gladiator sandals.

Always the one to dress for the occasion, my Victoria.

She was gorgeous, of course; with bright red curly hair, a small waist, big boobs and the longest legs you could imagine. Oh how I loved those legs. The feel of them, silky smooth under my hands; as I travel up them, to reach her wet throbbing-

"What the fuck is this shit hole Edward? You must be fucking joking me! You think I'm going to live here?"

The dreams were always broken with that shrill noise that she called her 'voice'.

"Victoria sweetheart, look, I can make this work, just give me some time. I promise you you're going to love it here," I said with the sweetest smile I could muster up with my head throbbing from the headache she had started to give me.

After staring at me for a few seconds, she dropped her Gucci suitcases on the floor and slumped down into one of the plastic booths.

"Hmph!"

I could tell this was going to be twice as hard as I had originally imagined it to be, but that was okay. I was Edward Cullen. I was a top-notch chef and I was determined. When I was determined, nothing would stop me; not even a stroppy, spoilt, brat-like girlfriend.

Why I was with her had been long forgotten by me. She was more of a convenience than a blessing. We had met at one of those high scale parties in NYC. I had instantly taken a liking to the way she looked and was highly interested in seeing underneath the barely there dress that she was wearing.

She seemed to have had the same idea as me, as I didn't sleep alone that night. Hell I didn't even sleep that night! If there was one thing Victoria was good at, it was making my cock rock hard; again, and again, and again.

Unfortunately, after 6 months of being together, she had really started to get on my nerves. She was a famous supermodel, so she had stupidly strict diets made up of rice cakes and these ridiculous diet shakes that looked like frozen crap.

Being a chef, I would try and get her to eat some decent food, but she wouldn't have it. She called me the devil and ran out the house screaming. I had to calmly explain to the neighbours what had happened before they called the cops on my arse.

I hardly saw her really anymore, as she was always doing shows or photo shoots. Although we liked to think of it as more, our relationship wasn't anything other than a shag here and there; maybe a dinner reservation thrown in occasionally. Not that she would eat anything of course.

I was really becoming tired of her and I didn't know how much longer I could keep it up, but for now I would leave it. Just until I had got myself up and running. I couldn't deal with the stress of breaking up with her and trying to get this mess of a building back to something decent.

I grabbed her bags and took them upstairs via the side door off the restaurant. She gracefully followed me, but made it very obvious she was not happy with her surroundings. When we got upstairs I felt a hand grab my backside.

"Edward baby, it's been a long trip and I need a top up."

She slowly moved her hand across my hip and round to my now bulging cock. She looked me deep in the eyes as she licked her lips and began to undo the zipper on my jeans. My cock was instantly rock hard and as she pulled my jeans and boxers down in one go, my throbbing erection sprang free.

"Well, at least someone is pleased to see me," she said as she grabbed my shaft in her hands and licked down the one side leaving trails of her bright red lipstick on my cock. As she reached my engorged head, she opened her mouth and covered the whole of it, wrapping her tongue around me and making me lunge forward into her mouth. She was looking up at me with her sultry eyes when she winked and I swear I could have blown my load there.

She let go of my cock, leaving it hanging there, instantly lonely. She proceeded to catwalk towards the kitchen table. Jumping up onto it, she laid down on her back and spread her legs wide, her dress rising up above her hips.

Fuck.

She wasn't wearing panties.

My cock throbbed harder with the longing as I dropped the bags and sprinted over to her, growling through my clenched teeth like an animal, as she pulled me closer to her with her luscious long legs.

"Come on baby, give me what I need," she purred at me.

She grabbed my hard cock and started teasing me by rubbing it slowly up and down her moist slit. I could feel the wetness drip down my shaft as she moaned from the pressure my dick was putting on her clit. That, of course, sent my senses wild and I couldn't take much more.

I needed to feel her heat and wetness surround me, feel her tightening when I thrust into her. I laid my hands on either side of her thin waist and pushed myself slowly into her, letting her take my whole length in. I then teasingly pulled out slowly so she could feel every ridge in my hard cock, even though all I wanted to do was fuck her quickly and hard.

She read my mind.

"Come on Edward, I need it quicker than that, I have a shoot in two hours!"

I did as I was commanded and shoved my cock straight back in her, making her gasp. I fucked her like a battering ram against the kitchen table until I felt my balls tighten and my stomach go warm.

"Victoria...uhhh… I'm gonna...fuck..."

Just then, as I thrust into her, spilling my juices and feeling the warmth spread through my body, her body tensed and quivered as she had her own orgasm, triggered by mine.

"Edward... fuck!"

After we both had settled, I released myself and looked at her. She slowly opened her eyes and gave me a massive grin, but the words that came out of her mouth weren't quite what I expected.

"Phew! Thanks Edward, I gotta go now, the media calls!"

"Victoria, wai-"

"Sorry sweetie, but I've gotta dash," she looked down at her bags as she pulled her dress back down, and then looked back up to me with a complete fake smile, "Would you be a dear and unpack my stuff for me? Thanks!"

With that she was gone.

I didn't know what I had been hoping for. This was typical Victoria behaviour. I had become accustomed to our short visits; her lack of love and passion towards me. It was our normality, but it was then that I realized that I needed more than just a good fuck.

I needed company. I needed to be held, loved, and appreciated. Victoria was not the woman to do that. She only thought about her own needs, not those around her. I didn't want to be alone, not just yet. So, until I was ready to be alone, I would stay with her; just for that little bit of comfort occasionally.

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts of her and carried on downstairs to start work on the restaurant.

It was going to be a long two months.

A/N - Don't worry I promise this will end up a canon story! And this was my first go at a lemon, so please be nice! *hides*

Hope you didn't think it was toooo bad :D

I've written Chapter 2, but it's going to be a while before i put it up!

Nix - I love you :)