Author: sweetheart-bitterheart PM
One shot. Companion piece to Silly Girl. Some insight into Berg and his relationship with Irene.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance - Words: 487 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10-19-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5454787
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's Note: Companion piece to my Silly Girl one shot this time in Berg's POV.
Disclaimer: I don't own. I rent.
I think, to some extent, I've always been somewhat of a selfish guy. I can't help it. I care about myself above all else.
Some would say that I shouldn't pay too much attention to myself and my wants but everybody else's. I do sometimes. I really do but when it comes down to it I want what I want and damn everybody else.
I'm not so sure how I ended up like that as an adult. I wasn't particularly spoiled when I was a child. I never took anything without asking (most of the time) and never stayed longer than I was welcome (usually).
I think it might be because I've always had this obsessive need to always have something. I always needed to be pursuing something greater. That includes conquests, acquaintances and ex-girlfriends. Even if I believed I was secure in myself the thrill of seeking something else conquered that. That's counting the times when things got so complicated and so unbearable that I had to sabotage everything and still be left smiling.
That's especially counting the recent turn of events. I tried not to be so selfish. I wanted to be not so selfish. But I couldn't control myself. I couldn't stop myself from going back to her and indulging myself time and time again. (Oh, Irene). We were happy as sex buddies. Then I had to go and catch feelings. What a stupid thing to do. Considering how she was still planning her wedding to Pete in her head.
So I had to be selfish with our very fragile relationship. Pete had so many chances with her and after I got mine and wanted more he decided he wanted another chance. And she just let him have it!
In the end, it was a good decision because it had her realize how wrong they were for each other and how perfect we were instead.
I guess these feeling-things aren't nearly as suffocating as they used to seem.
Because she's sweet and bubbly and gives me these reassuring hand-squeezes whenever I feel nervous or awkward as if she knows exactly what I'm feeling. Sure, she can be a little scary sometimes but she has such a good heart. I only kept us a secret for so long because I feared that once we were open about it that would be it, over and done with forever.
But that never happened and I'm so grateful.
It still amazes how just the thought of her touch wakes me up when I'm alone.
But I like it.
And I love her and she loves me.
So I'm okay with being a selfish guy.