Author: Demon Vampire180 PM
Renji told Ichigo how he really feels about him but Ichigo can't accept it as being true. So instead of leaving it be, Renji tries to force himself upon the one person he's ever truly loved. M/M yaoi... Sex maybe. Some language.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Ichigo K. & Renji A. - Chapters: 4 - Words: 18,661 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 11-22-09 - Published: 10-21-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5458703
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
It was your average day. The sun was high in the sky and the street Ichigo lived on was completely deserted. Well, besides the one lone figure that stood outside his house. Now this one lone figure had bright red hair that was well beyond normal length for a guy and had been tied up with a matching red ribbon. He wore black clothes, like funeral attire, and wore grass shoes on his feet. That wasn't the oddest thing though. The oddest thing about this said man was the sword he wore at his side. There wasn't a man alive in the twenty-first century stupid enough to carry around a sword. Of course this mattered none to the man for no one but the person he'd come specifically to see could see him.
Ichigo sat at the single desk in his room with a pencil in hand and a notebook in front of his nose. He'd been missing so much school lately because of all the hollows that were attacking that he was falling behind in school. Half of what his homework asked him to do, he blanked and couldn't finish it. Apparently his teachers were starting to become concerned about his grades and so now he was stuck attempting to do even more work he didn't understand over the weekend.
His brow was furrowed in idle concentration. If some sort of distraction, any kind, came along he would gladly take the distraction. Things were just too complicated. He'd ask for help on Monday. Sighing, he threw the pencil down and leaned back in his chair, covering his tired eyes with his arm. Ichigo sat like that for quite awhile. In fact he sat like that so long he'd nearly fallen asleep, and would have if not for the light knocking sound at his window. Pulling his arm away he squinted out the bright window, only to find it blocked by a shadow. A familiar shadow. And one that could only bring him further irritation.
Slowly he pushed away from his desk and went to unlock his window. "What do you want?" He asked, growling slightly. The other man said nothing as he climbed through the tight window. Even when Ichigo repeated the question, he received no answer. This only caused him to grit his teeth and ramble off swear words in his head. When the silence became deafening Ichigo muttered, more to himself than Renji, "If you've got nothing to say, then leave me alone. I have work to do." The orange headed boy sat back at his desk and picked up his pencil again. But instead of doing his work, like he should have been doing, he found himself tapping the top with the tip of the pencil.
The red head stayed in the darkest corner of the room, observing. He had come here for a purpose, if not to just bother the substitute shinigami. Even if the kid was busy he had to do it today, no matter what. Well, in his mind it had to be done today. It wasn't that he was going off somewhere where he might be killed but he felt that if he didn't do it today he would explode. As he watched the younger boy tap the pencil against the desk he felt his stomach clench and all of his confidence leave him in one fell swoop. He couldn't bring himself to do it. Not today, not ever. So instead of doing what he'd planned to do, he sat silently in the corner, watching and observing.
Ichigo felt the eyes on his neck but chose to ignore them. If he had some purpose for being there he'd say so. Even if he was here just to bother him. Sighing he hunched over and laid his head on top of his hands. His head was pounding and the silence of the room was getting to him. It had been quiet for nearly two hours now. It had been quiet before Renji had gotten there and his presence was only making the silence more taxing. Ichigo sighed again and lifted his head. His bed would be a lot more comfortable and he desperately needed a break anyways. Slowly he moved from his chair to the bed where he rolled from his side to his back. One arm came to rest over his eyes. A nap would be great. Of course he didn't realize how much of a temptation he was becoming.
Renji noticed of course. He felt his heart beat about twice as fast and he found it hard to keep his breathing steady. His throat suddenly felt parched and he could feel himself licking his lips more often than what one would call normal. Eyes scanned the long, muscular legs. Everything felt like it was going haywire. Renji could no longer think straight. His mind blanked on him and it felt as though the orange haired boys aura pulled him towards the bed. His feet moved of their own accord, even though he desperately wanted to stop. Suddenly, in a dream-like state, he was leaning over the pale boy, his lips only inches from Ichigos. Chocolate brown eyes opened to stare at him.
In a surprisingly calm voice the younger man asked, "Renji, what do you think you're doing? Get off." There was no indication that he planned to fling the redhead off of him or that he planned on screaming and yelling like a little school girl. His voice was completely neutral and for some reason it pissed Renji off. But it gave him a little confidence again. Things weren't going the way he planned but things didn't always go that way. Sometimes plans -things- needed to be improvised.
"Ichigo." His voice was low, but not threatening. More of a pleading kind of sound. "I've needed to tell you something for a long time but we were never at a good time or place for me to tell you."
"Renji you sound like a girl. Now get off." His voice was a little more demanding, and he began to sit up so that his back pressed against the wall behind him. The perfect position for Renji to attack.
Renji didn't reply right away. He had to take a deep breath before he could continue with what he was saying. "I like you, man. A lot. Not in the 'let's-be-good-friends' kind of way either. After agonizing over it for awhile I realized that I like you in the way that means 'I'm-gonna-do-you' kind of way. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"Will you back off me if I say 'yes'?" Sarcasm was heavy in Ichigo's voice and it was obvious that he thought Renji was joking, pulling his leg (and hard.) The redhead was all too aware of this. It only made him angrier for some reason. "Actually, just get off me. You're freaking me out."
"What if I say no?" Renji dared, inching a little closer.
Ichigo half snorted his reply. "Then I'll have to kick your ass."
"Let's just see you try." Was his curt reply.
"I'd rather not take your precious vice-captain seat from you." The cocky response made Renji growl deep from the back of his throat. God he's pissing me off. Why did it have to be him of all people?
Renji took a deep breath and stared into Ichigo's eyes. Every inch of him felt serious which was, in his case, very unusual. "I'm not screwing with you Kurosaki. But you can think whatever the hell you want to." All he got in response was a half-assed shrug. So, with those confusing words hanging in the air, Renji pushed himself the last two inches forward, pressing his chapped lips against Ichigo's. At first there was no response. Of course there was the distinct feeling of shock in the air but it wasn't pressing. Then it slowly melted into bewilderment with a hint of irritation. Finally it became a shocked anger, with the feeling settling heavily over his head. Hands, warm, familiar hands, were shoved roughly into his chest, sending him backwards about a foot. He managed to catch himself on the end of the bed before he was flung like a rag doll against the wall.
When he looked up, a pair of shocked brown eyes bore into his like daggers. They screamed annoyance and wonder and hatred all at once. The feeling was overwhelming. Ichigo's arm had come up into a defensive position, covering his face. In a low, now threatening voice, he asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing, Renji?"
"What I've wanted to do for a long time. It just so happened that now was the perfect time to do it."
With a familiar edge to his voice Ichigo ordered, "Get out. I don't care what your damn reason is, or was, so get out."
"Fine. I'll get out but tell me this first, Kurosaki Ichigo. What is your reason for saying no? If you tell me it's just because I'm a guy I will seriously kill you. That ain't a reason. Least not a legit one."
Ichigo stared at him for a minute before lowering his arm and letting out a long sigh. "Renji. You're my friend. That's it. And that's all I could ever see you as. It's not like I'm against homosexuals or anything it's just not the way I choose to live my own life. If you want to be with me so badly, you're only going to end up hurting yourself." The words sounded foreign to Renji. It was a good, if not great, excuse. And best of all it was truthful. Why did he have to be such an honest bastard? Why couldn't he have just said it was because they were both guys? At least then he could've hit him, and could have been pissed at him. Now he found himself sighing, and backing away.
"Fine. I get it. Sorry for barging in." The apology sounded as fake as it felt and it pained Renji to jump out the window after being rejected in such an honest way. There had to be a way to get him to see it his way. Right?
A few slow weeks dragged by and Ichigo couldn't get the redhead out of his mind. There'd never been any issues with people being gay, at least not in his mind, so why was he so bothered over one damn kiss? Renji was pretty much his best friend and had been for quite awhile now. When he'd first gone to rescue Rukia he'd been the only one who had tried to help him as much as he could. Renji had always been there for Ichigo in his times of need (not that there were many.) So why couldn't he just pretend like nothing had happened? It wasn't like he'd felt his stomach flutter when he'd been kissed and it wasn't exactly like he wanted another kiss.
God damn it, Renji. Why'd you have to go and do that? I'm even more lost in school now cause I can't concentrate! He thought, staring outside the classroom window as his teacher continued to blabber on. The teachers had all but given up on him. Not that he was a delinquent. He was just gone too much for them to really care any more. Ichigo frowned and sighed. He'd heard sighing was sometimes good for people but the way he was sighing lately, he might just die from it. As he sighed though, a sudden flash of red caught his attention. No fucking way. There is no way he followed me to school. So damn persistent. Standing he raised his hand and called, "Teacher, I'm not feeling well."
"Just leave Kurosaki-kun. Don't interrupt class." The teach muttered, turning back to the board.
Ichigo scowled. Damn... "I'll be leaving then." He muttered quietly to himself, picking up his bag. As he moved towards the door he heard someone cough and he turned to look. Ishida was staring at him with a weird look in his eyes and the only way Ichigo knew to respond was to mouth Renji to him before leaving. If the guy was that curious he could ask him questions later. He hurried down the halls and out the doors to the courtyard. None to his surprise, Renji stood leaning nonchalantly against the wall. Like he was the coolest thing to have ever walked Earth's ground. "What the hell do you want, Renji? Don't come following me to school like you're some kind of stray animal."
Renji smirked and humphed. "I ain't just following you. I got orders from higher up to keep tabs on all of you: Ishida, Orihime, and Chad."
"Why the hell would we need to be kept an eye on? We're all teenagers here and we don't need no old geezer telling us what to do. And we definitely don't need him keeping eyes on us." Ichigo growled, throwing his bag on the ground and shoving his hands deep into his pockets.
"Don't get so moody, Ichigo. He's just being cautious. He's probably as old as the Earth itself. He always thinks something is wrong." It was Ichigo's turn to humph. "Anyways, since you're here, I figure that gives me a little bit of time. I think I'm gonna try persuading you again since you so damn stubborn."
"You're joking right? We're in the middle of a school courtyard."
"I never joke, Ichigo."
Hearing his name from Renji's lips made his heart leap a little. What the hell was going on with him? His eyes followed Renji's every movement, and his heart continued to beat faster and faster until he felt like he was going to explode. In an instant there was a firm grip around his wrists and his back was suddenly pressed against a warm, concrete wall. The hands that gripped his wrists pressed them firmly against the wall, making sure that there was no possible way for him to escape. Muscular legs circled his own, capturing him in an impossible embrace. There was an unfamiliar pressure in his pants and he found it.... Unpleasant? No. That wasn't it. There just weren't words in his vocabulary that he could use to describe it with. The redhead began to grind gently at first against him, sending a shock wave of shivers throughout his entire body. His own uncomfortableness came in contact with the other boys and it hurt but he found himself moaning slightly in pleasure. Soon though he found the older man grinding hider, faster. Now it really did hurt but his mind, and his mouth, wouldn't let him form the words to tell him to stop. Instead he heard himself making the most embarrassing sounds.
God why can't I stop him? What kind of sound is this that I'm making? I don't like him in that way. I never have, I never will. He's a guy and so am I. And anyway, I like Orihime. A lot. If that's so, though, then why can't I get him off me? Why is my mind screaming at me to kiss the fucker already? The questions spun his head in circles as his mind slowly slipped away. He felt nothing, heard nothing, but the pleasure encasing his body like a cocoon.
Now there was a soft, uneven, heat against his ear. It would come and go like a fan with a rotating head. One moment it would be there and then the next it would disappear, only to reappear again in less than a seconds time. Ichigo found himself lean into it slightly. Every part if his body moved before he could tell it to do otherwise. Lips connected with his ear and he took a sharp, deep breath. It wasn't expected and it set his brain on fire. The said lips sucked gently for only seconds before they began their way along his jaw, finally coming to rest softly on his own. It was.... Fantastic. Better than he remembered and better than he had expected. Had he really dreamt about the lips so often that his body couldn't stand it any more and he found himself liking it more? If so it was an unpleasant reaction.
Next, one of the said muscular legs moved to rest between his own, causing more of Renji's body to come in contact with his slowly growing erection. And things could've continued for awhile had Renji not gone too far and had Ichigo's brain not finally kicked back into motion.
Renji's hand had moved in a slow, downward position until it rested in Ichigo's crotch area. His fingers touched him lightly, moving lower and lower until they were 'massaging' the base of his cock. Again it wasn't highly unpleasant, but his brain would've stayed off had he been enjoying it. When his limbs finally moved again when he told them too, he shoved Renji roughly away from him. There was no defensive position this time though. He simply stared with his mouth slightly open and an almost hurt look in his eyes.
"Why don't you get it Renji? I don't like you like that. I never have and never will. You're a guy and my best friend. I'm not gay. Even if you are I don't care but don't get me involved, you hear?" Ichigo's voice shook slightly as he spoke but he tried hard to keep it steady.
All Renji could do was stare at him. He thought his feelings had finally gotten through the boy's thick skull but apparently he'd been wrong. Very, very wrong. He found his voice just long enough to mutter, "Fine. I get it. Later Ichigo." With a shaky hand, he waved and stalked off, leaving a very confused boy behind. After that day, things were just going to get weird. Well, more weird than normal at least.
Ichigo left the school grounds, long after everyone else did, just to make sure he didn't pass by the redhead. Things had just been too weird today. They'd gone too far. Hell, even a kiss was too far and yet Ichigo had let the older man do all those things to him like it'd been nothing. As though it'd been completely normal. What the hell was wrong with him? What was going on in his head? Even he didn't know.
The streets were quiet as he dragged himself home, putting one foot in front of the other, like it hurt to do so. When he arrived home he was nearly tackled by his youngest sister Yuzu. Her eyes screamed worry and fright that something had happened to him. He couldn't lie to her but he couldn't tell the truth either. So instead he did a mixture of both, telling her that something had happened at school that had made him tired. He told her that he was going to go up and sleep. She bought the lie and told him to get some rest. There were times he was thankful that his sisters weren't nosy.
Quickly he tore his shoes off before bounding up the stairs to his room. He hoped that some sleep would clear his head of any unwanted thoughts. Once inside his room, he flopped face first onto his bed and laid there, letting his eyes slide close until he finally fell into a fitful sleep. When he next woke, his alarm clock read 7:30 PM. He'd slept through dinner, but it didn't matter. He didn't feel at all hungry. Rolling onto his side, his mind flashed back to earlier that day. Of course the first thing it stopped at, his most recent memory, was Renji. He noticed that the more he thought about it, the more his stomach tingled. When he thought about kissing the almost perfect, pale lips his heart ached. It beat faster and skipped beats. His heart ached for Renji. It wanted the other man more than Ichigo could even begin to comprehend. But Ichigo threw the thoughts aside. He wasn't a girl and his heart's reactions were... Well, unexplainable. I should just sleep more and forget about it. He thought, flipping onto his back once more and closing his eyes to block out the fading sunset. But even though he tossed and turned and tossed some more he couldn't fall asleep again. His mind continued to wander back to Renji and the feeling he'd gotten when their bodies had messed together like two pieces of a puzzle. After nearly an hour of flipping around like a rag doll, and having his mind wander to places he didn't want it to go, he finally noticed something. His body was responding to something. It can't be? Can it? Cautiously he reached down and touched the front of his pants. His fingers brushed over something not quite hard, but not quite soft either. He was becoming hard.... To thoughts of Renji?
As he sat puzzling it over, his erection became almost overwhelmingly painful. He had to do something about it and soon. But masturbating? Especially after thinking about his best friend? No way. Definitely not.
If only his body would respond respectfully. His body twinged in pain when his cock pulsated. It sent shivers throughout his body. Taking a breath he decided to do it, while trying to keep his sanity. In a way that looked like a video was in slow motion, he began to undo his pants, being careful not to come in contact too often with his throbbing pain. Next, when he'd pulled down both his boxers and pants just enough to let it out, he touched the tip gingerly, as though it were fragile. When he didn't lose his mind, he took it carefully in one hand and began to move it in an up and down motion. It felt weird at first but as the friction and heat grew between the two he found himself breathing a little quicker. And, as one could guess, his thoughts couldn't stray from Renji. He had tried thinking of Orihime with her great body, and large breasts, but quickly found that the image only lasted about twenty seconds before they slipped back to the tattooed body. As he continued, he pictured Renji doing this to him, doing it gently with the calloused hands that had seen much hardship, but just as much friendship. Vaguely he wondered if Renji had ever been in love before but the thought was jumbled amongst the other thoughts that got tossed aside by pleasure. Pleasure was one sassy bitch.
Finally Ichigo released. His breathing was abnormal, and much quicker than it should have been. His hand was covered by a white, slime-like substance that he wasn't used to. Hesitantly he brought his hand to his mouth, and out of pure curiosity, he licked one finger. It was regretted only seconds later. It was bitter and salty and definitely not something he'd ever want to taste again.
Of course doing that had made him sleepy. As he laid back in bed, and wrapped the covers around him, he wondered Renji, why me? Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be me? He drifted into a fitful sleep with thoughts of Renji on his mind.