|The Greater American Novel
Author: The Great American Novelist PM
The Greater American Novel. What happens when three kids go to Dunkin Donuts for fun? More than you think.Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,084 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10-31-09 - Published: 10-26-09 - id: 5468651
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Kyle ran down the street looking for any clues as to where Luke and Patrick were running to. Steven was asking everyone if they knew anything about the axmen that attacked them at Dunkin Donuts. Finally, Steven met a short man with glasses named Kelvin. Kelvin was the greatest mage left in the world.
"Patrick and Luke are the evilest most sickening bastards you will ever meet! They eat children's hopes and dreams, they pee on grandma's wheelchairs, and worst of all they support Britney Spears!" Kelvin exclaimed the horror that was Patrick and Luke.
"Hey! Leave Britney Alone!!!" Kyle cried out as he punched Little Red Riding Hood. "She doesn't deserve this!" Kyle cried out once more as he continued to weep tears of orange soda.
"Yeah whatever you sheep bastard." Kelvin said as he kicked Kyle's pinky toe.
"Follow me to find Luke and Patrick, so we can defeat those cheeky bastards." Kelvin ordered, and the group followed Kelvin. They eventually ended up at a 7-11 in Utah. They entered through the back entrance where they saw Patrick, Luke, Ariel the Mermaid, and Toad playing strip poker.
"Ah! My blood pressure! Kyle yelled out as he clutched his right arm in fake pain. However his scream was too loud and it caused everyone to see them, thus blowing Steven, Kelvin, and his own cover.
"Wow…What the hell is wrong with you, you dumbshit," Kelvin yelled at Kyle as Kelvin was infuriated.
"Ah! My blood pressure again!" Kyle yelled and did the same routine as before.
"Enough of this! Steven you attack them as I charge up a spell!" Kelvin ordered and Steven obliged. Steven grabbed his sword and ran towards Toad. Steven sliced and diced Toad into many little pieces and put him into a steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup. Steven then began to eat the soup, disregarding the battle entirely. Luke took this opportunity to try and attack Steven. Luke grabbed his axe and lunged towards Steven, but Steven was agile enough to jump over the axe and Luke ended up striking Kyle in his liver.
"Ahh! My Liver!" Kyle yelped in pain as Luke laughed at Kyle's failure.
"Enough of this!" Kelvin yelled. "Go! Spiral Flare!!" Kelvin shouted as a huge wave of spiraling fire engulfed Patrick, Luke and Ariel. "They have all been significantly injured! Let us return!" Kelvin demanded as he, Steven and Kyle all ran back to where they started.
"Wow Kelvin! That was absolutely, sensationally, amazingly, awesomely remarkable!" Steven exclaimed as he jumped into the air.
"Ow! My liver and my blood pressure," Kyle whined.
"Oh please," Kelvin replied in an annoyed tone. Kelvin then took out his staff and began to cast a healing spell on Kyle, healing his liver and blood pressure problems.
"Wait! You can heal people?!" Steven asked excitedly.
"Wow, really? What the hell do you think?" Kelvin responded even more annoyed than before.
"Let's heal Chris!!" Steven jumped and did a barrel roll as everyone ran to Dunkin Donuts to find Chris's dead body to heal him.