I don’t own friends or any of the songs used in this two shot.

(Chandler is in the kitchen cooking eggs)

Chandler: (singing) how do you like your eggs in the morning?

(Joey walks in)

Joey: (Carrying on from Chandler) I like mine with a kiss

Chandler: (carrying on from Joey) boiled or fried?

Joey: (carrying on from Chandler) I’m satisfied as long as I get my kiss

(Monica’s cleaning)

Monica: (singing) Workin’ 9 to 5What a way to make a livin’

(Monica stops singing)

(Rachel is in the shower)

Rachel: I think we’re alone now, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around

(Monica starts laughing)

Rachel: Mon I heard that

(Ross is at work sorting dinosaur bones)

Ross: (singing) Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination when he’s tall he’s what we call a dinosaur sensation

(Phoebe is walking to Monica and Rachel’s)

Phoebe: (singing) here we come, walking down the streets,

(People stare at her)

Phoebe: (singing) we get the funniest looks from everyone we meet

(Title comes on)

(Ross, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are sat at the table)

Monica: (singing) Lonesome, stranger, with a crowd around you I see who you are

Rachel: (Carrying on from Monica) you joke, they laugh til the show is over then you fall so hard

Ross: (Carrying on From Rachel) if you’re needing a soul-to-soul connection, I’ll run to your side

Phoebe: when you’re lost in the dark, when you’re out in the cold, when you’re looking for something that resembles you’re soul

(While Phoebe is singing Joey and Chandler walk in)

Everyone: when the wind blows your house of cards I’ll be a home to your homeless heart

(Joey and Chandler walk back out)

Phoebe: we should enter a competition

Monica: what for?

Phoebe: singing

Ross: that is the stupidest idea I have ever heard

Monica: no Phoebe does have a point

Phoebe: yeah and the winner gets $10,000

Ross: can I be a part of this?

Rachel: (mimicking Ross) I thought you didn’t want to be a part of this

Ross: well I do now there’s money involved

Monica: someone should get Joey and Chandler

(Phoebe goes to get Joey and Chandler)

(Minutes later she comes back with them)

Joey: Hurry up Pheebs we’re missing Baywatch

Phoebe: we won’t be long

(Long pause)

Chandler: so is someone going to tell us what is going on or are we going to stand here and guess

Rachel: go on Pheebs you tell them

Phoebe: okay so we’re thinking of entering a singing competition

Chandler: that is the...

Phoebe: and the winner gets $10,000

Chandler: that is the cleverest idea ever

Monica: okay so are we going to sing as one big group or 2 groups of three or three groups of two?

Joey: I call Chandler

Rachel: I call Monica

Ross: Guess I’m calling Phoebe

Phoebe: don’t get too excited

Monica: Rach, we’re going to be practicing every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings and Tuesday, Friday and Saturday nights

Rachel: do we really have to practice all those days

Monica: ‘cos we’re team Monica we’re winners, we are going to win

Ross: someone’s got her competitive mode on

(Monica ignores Ross’s comment)

Monica: and since its Friday night we need to practice, I’m not been rude or anything but you all need to leave

(Everyone but Monica walks towards the door)

Monica: where do you think you’re going we have some serious practicing to be doing

(Rachel walks back in the apartment and the others leave)

Monica: okay so what song do you want to sing... I was thinking girls just wanna have fun

Rachel: but Mon I hate that song

Monica: but if it makes us win does it really matter

Rachel: yeah

Monica: what do you want to sing?

Rachel: I’m yours by Jason Mraz

Monica: I will think about it

Rachel: it isn’t just about you; it’s about what I want too

Monica: fine we will sing I’m yours

(Joey and Chandler are thinking of band names)

Joey: what about J-Man and Channy

Chandler: no we sound like superheroes

Joey: okay what about the Chanandler Blong

Chandler: no we can’t use our tv guide name

Joey: what about McJoeandler

Chandler: why Mc?

Joey: I don’t know, can we use it please?

Chandler: fine

Joey: YESS!

Chandler: now what song do you want to sing?

Joey: food glorious food?

Chandler: NO way

Joey: fine what about Party in the USA?

Chandler: too girly

Joey: So close

Chandler: it’s too....

Joey: Please Chandler I really like this one

Chandler: fine, do you want to sing in parts or together

Joey: in parts

Chandler: do you want to start or shall I?

Joey: you can

Chandler: okay we’re going to win Team Monica!

Joey: okay are you going to start

Chandler: (singing) you just keep tuggin’ pushin’ pullin’ on my little heart strings, got me all tied up in knots anytime I see your face, Oh it brings out, it brings out the girl in me

Joey: (singing) I don’t know just how you did it but you got me real good... I’ve forgotten the words

Chandler: hook, line and sinker like I knew you would, but you don’t even notice boy I wish you would

Joey: okay can we start from the beginning

Chandler: (singing) you just keep tuggin’ pushin’ pullin’ on my little heart strings, got me all tied up in knots anytime I see your face, Oh it brings out, it brings out the girl in me

Joey: (singing) I don’t know just how you did it but you got me real good hook, line and sinker like I knew you would, but you don’t even notice boy I wish you would

Both: (singing) I can’t help myself I can’t help but (Chandler stops singing leaving Joey to sing the high note himself) Smile

(Joey stops singing)

Joey: dude why did you stop singing?

Chandler: because I can’t do high note and from the looks of it you can’t too

Joey: don’t you mean from the sound of it, because you can’t see my music notes

Chandler: what music notes? Okay and from the sound of it you can’t too, is that better for you

Joey: the one’s that come from your mouth when you sing yeah, now lest start from I can’t help myself

Chandler: okay

Both: (singing) I can’t help myself, I can’t help but smile every time I see your face, and we’ve never met, I bet you don’t know my name

Joey: we did it, we did it

Chandler: that was only half of the song, probably not even half

Joey: can’t we just sing half of the song?

Chandler: yeah we’ll just sing to the end of the chorus

Joey: isn’t that the end of the chorus

Chandler: no

Joey: Oh man

(Ross and Phoebe are in Ross’s apartment and are trying to think of songs to sing)

Phoebe: In colour?

Ross: yeah I like that song

Phoebe: but you have to do a country voice

Ross: actually I really don’t like the song

Phoebe: fine you don’t have to sing in a country voice

Ross: okay we’ll sing the song

Phoebe: can I play the guitar?

Ross: um... if you learn how to play the song properly

Phoebe: okay

Ross: so do you want to start now?

Phoebe: okay we’ll sing together but when he starts singing times were tough back in ’35 that’s when you start then we sing the chorus together and I get the lines after the chorus and then we sing the last bit together, but we’re not singing the whole song

Ross: okay so are you ready to start?

Phoebe: yeah

Both: (singing) I said Grandpa what’s this picture here it’s all black and white and ain’t real clear, is that you there? He said yeah I was 11

(long pause)

Phoebe: Ross you start now

Ross: Oh, (singing) times were tough back in ’35, that’s me and Uncle Joe just tryin’ to survive, a cotton farm in a great depression.

Both: (singing) If it looks like we were scared to death, like a couple of kids just tryin’ to save each other, you should’ve seen it in colour

Phoebe: Oh and this one here was taken over sees in the middle of hell 1943, in the winter time you can almost see my breath

Ross: so are we stopping there?

Phoebe: no we have one more part where it’s both of us singing, so are you ready?

Both: (singing) that was my tail gunner ole Johnny Magee, he was a high school teach from New Orleans, and he had my back right through the day we left

Phoebe: and we’ve finished

Ross: yay

Phoebe: you don’t have to sing if you don’t want to, you don’t sing for the money you sing because you want to

Ross: I want to sing

Phoebe: so are you ready from the top?

(Ross groans)

Thanks for reading please review, my fave lines have to be the superhero one, who do you want to win, Team Monica, McJoeandler or the Phoebe and Ross