|The Fireman: Outtakes from Controlled Burn
Author: staceygirl aka jackbauer PM
Outtakes mostly in EPOV from Controlled Burn. This does not stand alone as it's own story, and chapters will not make sense if not read along with Controlled Burn.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,558 - Reviews: 464 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 02-08-10 - Published: 10-27-09 - id: 5470837
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
So I used these outtakes to bribe for reviews of Controlled Burn, but hopefully if you are reading them here you will be kind to me and review CB anyway. :)
Characters are not mine.
How could I go from having everything I ever wanted to utter desolation in a matter of minutes? I guess devastation didn't usually happen slowly. It was usually a single instant when everything changed. I couldn't remember how I got back to my house or into my room. I faintly remembered Alice asking me what was wrong and storming past her.
I wanted to punch something. I wanted to break something. I wanted it to stop hurting. How could she do this to me? Everything was right. It was perfect. We had it all planned out and now…gone.
After what felt like hours of drowning in my own agony I logged onto my computer. There was only one way to get some relief, some solace. I had to write. I opened the blog and hit new post. I wanted to communicate what she hadn't given me a chance to say. I wanted to fight, but she'd made it sound like there was nothing to fight for. The words on my screen came out angry, hurt, and finally resigned.
I didn't believe her. I couldn't believe her. I didn't even know the person who said those cold and calloused things to me. I had to believe that I wasn't the only one who would be ruined by her decision. She would regret it. After she came to her senses, she would see what she'd broken, but it would be too late.
Maybe I was a fool. I didn't know anything except that Bella Swan was a liar. The one person on this earth I trusted betrayed me. She'd either been lying all along or she was lying now. Either way she lied. How could I love someone so willing to deceive? Fire and pain coursed through my veins again as I realized there may be no turning back. The damage might be too great to repair. It really was over.
I needed air. I needed out of this stuffy room. I needed to be away from everyone. Everything. I needed to let the darkness consume until I couldn't feel anymore. I grabbed my guitar and headed for my car. I was relieved that Alice was out of sight. I swung open the front door just as Jacob was reaching out his hand to open it from the outside.
"What's wrong with you? You look like crap," Jacob blurted out.
"Get out of my way," I snarled.
"Dude, you're not going to drive your car off a cliff or murder someone, are you?"
"Jacob, if you don't get out of my way, I guarantee I will murder someone."
"Edward, wait!" Alice came running down the stairs. I just wanted to leave. I didn't want to tell either of them about anything. Especially them. I was about to shove Jacob out of the doorway when Alice said, "I just talked to Bella."
"Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to," my sister croaked out. My entire body tensed as I turned toward her in slow motion.
"Didn't mean to do what?" I seethed.
"I didn't know she would break up with you. I was just venting, and she totally took it the wrong way," Alice spit the words out quickly franticly trying to explain. I could feel myself shaking with rage.
"Ali! You did it! Man, I knew we could do it. This is awesome! I can't wait to tap that now. She is going to feel so…" Jacob started, but he never finished. I didn't stop and think. I just swung. If I'd thought about it first, it wouldn't have made a difference. I heard Jacob's nose crack as my fist made contact and he went flying backwards. I pulled my arm back for another punch, but Alice grabbed it holding me back.
"Edward, no! Stop! It's not…it's not what you think. You've got to fix this. You can still fix it," she pleaded.
I flung my body around shooing her off of me while Jacob cried profanities and held his face behind me. "What. Did. You. Do." I growled fighting the urge to punch her too.
"I think I gave Bella the impression that she was holding you back from taking the record deal and that if she really loved you she would leave you for your own good, but I didn't mean to. I promise. I just…I was frustrated, and we all know I'm crazy. I…she loves you. I know she loves you. You can't let her do this, Edward. She said she's not even going to move here now. I ruined everything." Alice started to cry and a million thoughts raced through my head.
Bella loves me. Bella lied. Bella is a liar. Bella loves me. For my own good. Her lips. Her breasts. Her Eyes. I hate her. I love her. She lied. I hate her. She lied. I hate her. She loves me. I hate her. I need her. I have no choice.
"Where is she?" I fueled all my anger at my sister. I wanted to rip her apart. I wanted to scream at her. To tell her she was selfish and manipulative. To tell her she was a monster that didn't deserve everything she had, but I would deal with her later. I had to deal with Bella first.
"She said she's leaving. You've got to stop her," Alice pleaded while we both ignored Jacob's bitching.
"When? When is she leaving?"
"I don't know. She didn't say. Now I think."
"I'm going to the airport. You're going go to go and see if she's still at the hotel. Call me if you find her," I ordered and with that I raced toward the airport. If she was still here, I would find a way to stop her, to make her listen. I would do whatever it took. I wasn't letting her go.