Author’s Notes: Some sexual content in this chapter. Mia’s first name means “Mine”, and her middle name, Emmaline, means “Universal”. I thought this meaning was rather symbolic in what she represents to Jack, and that’s why her name was chosen. The lyrics used in this chapter are “Blurry” by Puddle Of Mud.

Disclaimer: These characters are property of NBC and their own creators; as is any piece of an episode needed for the chapter. I make no money from this. Any song lyrics used are also property of their own creator.

Hereafter And Forever

Part 8: Blurry

(May 5, 2011)

This morning, Jack was awoken by two tiny hands tugging at his blankets. He pretended to still be asleep, as Mia kept tugging and tugging. She was quite strong for such a tiny girl.

“Up!” She yelled at Jack, telling him that she wanted him to get out of bed.

“Who said that?” Jack teased, pulling the blankets over his head.

“Mia!” She chirped, peeking underneath at him. She giggled as he smiled at her, “Jack!”

“That’s right, Jack. Come here, Blueberry.” Jack laughed as he scooped Mia up into his arms and proceeded to tickle her. She squirmed and laughed as she tried to get away. Karen walked in to find Jack sitting up in the bed with Mia slung upside down over his shoulder, kicking her feet as he tickled them. “Good morning, Karebear.”

Jack set Mia down in his lap as Karen leaned in to kiss him. Mia peered up at her quietly. Mia had taken to Jack very quickly, but she seemed to still be getting used to Karen. Karen was the first to admit she wasn’t the best with children, but Mia was growing on her. Although, she often felt like Mia was Jack’s child alone.

Karen knew Mia was helping Jack to cope with Elliott’s sudden death in a better way. After they had returned home from the funeral, no one mentioned it anymore, for Jack’s sake. Everything returned to normal.

This was a particularly special day, because Jack had an audition for an off-Broadway show. Karen insisted they go out shopping before, and have a nice dinner together after. Grace was going to watch Mia for them.

Jack held the little girl close to him, being the overprotective parent again.

“Are you sure Grace said it’s okay?”

“Yes poodle, its fine. Gracie will take good care of our little one. And Mia can play with little Leeloo.”

“Laila.”

“Tomato, tomahto, honey.”

“I don’t know.” Jack said as he petted Mia’s hair and she gazed up at him, “She’s never been away from us before. What if she gets scared? She might think we’re leaving her.”

“Jackie, we haven’t had a day to ourselves since…” Karen hesitated.

“I know. You’re right.” Jack stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder, “I have been neglecting you and I’m sorry. I love you so much Kare.”

“I know, poodle.” Karen replied.

“Ok, Blueberry.” Jack turned back to Mia, “Let’s get you dressed so you can go see Aunt Gracie.”

Mia turned over and slid herself off the bed, Jack silently chuckling as her short legs kicked and struggled to find solid ground. When her toes finally reached, she let go of the bed and dropped down to the floor with a plop. Her eyes went wide, as if she had surprised herself.

“Down.” She said, looking up at Jack.

“Yeah, Mia went down.” Jack laughed, bending over to pick her up. She hugged his neck tightly. “Here, give Karen a kiss before we go.” He held Mia out to give Karen a peck on the cheek, and then he did the same. “I’ll go get her ready. Go wake Driver.”

Karen smiled as she watched him carry Mia out into the hallway to go pick some clothes out for her. Mia slept down the hall from their bedroom in the nursery, or what was once “The Forbidden Room”. At first, Karen had worried that a small child in such a big house would be a constant worry for them. But with she and Jack, plus their entire staff keeping an eye on her, there was hardly ever a problem.

The stress of it was getting to her, however. But, Karen kept her feelings about such things to herself. Jack didn’t know, but she was starting to drink herself blind again.

~~~~**~~~~

Grace was so eager to watch Mia, she had pulled out all of Laila’s toys into the middle of the floor. She had forgotten to mention this to Leo when he came downstairs and nearly tripped over a stack of Legos.

“Geez, Grace. Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?”

“Mia’s small. She’s easily distracted. You remember what Laila was like at that age?”

“She hasn’t changed much yet.” Leo remarked. “Why don’t you just let the kids play together? Entertain themselves? It’s what kids do.”

“I want to make sure Mia is ok.” Grace said, as she carried a giant teddy bear to the couch, “You know how clingy she is with Jack. She could be the temper tantrum type.”

“Well if she isn’t don’t teach it to her like you did with Laila.”

Grace proceeded to look innocent. A knock came at the door, and she turned and happily leapt over the various toys scattered across the floor. “Yay! They’re here!” She opened the door to Jack and Karen, and little Mia there with her hand squeezing Jack’s fingers. “Hi cutie!” Grace greeted Mia.

Jack looked at her bashfully, “Hi, Grace.”

Grace rolled her eyes, knowing some things never changed. She kissed Jack on the cheek.

“We are going to have so much fun.” She said to Mia. “Come on in.”

Jack let go of Mia’s hand and nudged her to go into Grace’s apartment. He took a look around at the mess Grace had created. “Are you sure she won’t be too much trouble, because we can take her with us.”

“Jack, I have my own child, I know what to do.”

“But Mia is very delicate.”

Jack looked over to see Mia picking up a toy truck and throwing it on the ground. “Bang!” She yelled.

“Yeah, she’s like a Precious Moments figurine.” Grace remarked sarcastically, “Go on Papa, she’ll be fine.” Grace started to shut the door.

“Ok.” Jack said, leaning around the edge of the closing door, “See you soon Blueberry! I love you!”

“Love you!” Mia yelled back at him.

“I love you too, Mia.” Karen added.

She waited for Mia’s reply, but the little girl seemed to have found something to occupy her attention at this time. Grace didn’t quite know what to say, knowing this bothered Karen, she simply shrugged and bid them goodbye as she shut the door.

Karen turned, walking in front of Jack and keeping her eyes down at the floor.

“Kare?”

“She hates me, Jackie.”

“Karen, she’s not even two years old. She’s only been with us a few months. She’s getting used to things.”

“She adores you. You walk in the room and you can’t tear her away from you. But what about me? She doesn’t like me.”

“Karen, she’s a little girl. Don’t hold that against her.” Jack put an arm around her shoulder, “One day, Mia will love you as much as I do. Just give her time. Now come on, we’ve got to go shopping before my audition.”

Jack intertwined his fingers with hers, and they headed back down to the street where the limo was waiting.

~~~~**~~~~

It was clear to Jack that this was really bothering Karen. She didn’t seem interested in shopping at all, and when Jack wanted to buy some new dresses for Mia, she seemed to close him off altogether.

He smiled coyly as he got an idea.

“Come on Kare, just try one thing on for me.” Jack grabbed a green top off one of the shelves, “Please?”

He pouted his lips, and Karen sighed.

“Fine.” She took the shirt from him and walked back into the dressing rooms. Jack waited a moment, before he looked around and made sure there was no one around to see him. Then he crept back into the dressing area, and opened the door of the room Karen had gone into.

“Jackie!” Karen spun around, “What are you doing?”

“Shhh.” Jack shushed her, putting a finger to her lips. He traced her lips with his finger, as Karen stared up at him, already knowing what he had in mind. “We need some us time, right Kare?”

“Jack…here?” Karen grinned, “You dirty, dirty boy.”

She dropped the shirt to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. Their tongues fought against each other, Jack’s body shuddered as he felt Karen’s breath on him. His hands slid down her back, caressing her, and hers did the same. Karen brought her hands across the front of his pants, and reached to undo his belt buckle.

Jack shut his eyes as he felt Karen’s lips on him, trying not to draw any attention to where they were. His back was pressed against the door, and it was still quiet, so he hoped they wouldn’t get caught. He giggled, suddenly feeling like a naughty school boy.

“Oh!” He gasped, “Karen.”

“Mmm-hmm?” Karen mumbled, his cock still in her mouth as she continued to brush her tongue against him.

“Fuck…Kare…” Jack gasped.

As one would imagine, having Mia around made spontaneous sex a lot more difficult. It had been a while since they had been intimate with each other. Karen stared up at Jack, the chemicals in her body making her brain buzz. She pulled away and stood up, Jack panting heavily.

Jack didn’t say a word, simply staring into Karen’s eyes. She took his erection into her hand and began stroking him, kissing his lips softly. Jack moaned as he felt his climax building.

“Karen….Karen….” Jack looked at her. Karen was staring back at him with such intensity, she almost didn’t look herself. Jack gasped, trying to catch his breath. “Oh…god.”

Karen’s mouth came over his as he reached his edge, trying her best to muffle his load moans. Her skin was flushed and warm, still tingling as her body craved to be near him.

“Karen…” Jack panted, “We’re going to be late for my audition.” His head was still spinning.

Karen’s expression remained solemn, and she quietly turned away from Jack as he readjusted his belt.

“Can you go by yourself?” She asked.

“What? But…Karen! I want you with me! This is supposed to be our day together!”

“I have to do something first, Jackie. I’ll meet you for dinner later.”

Karen opened the dressing room door, and walked out. Leaving Jack there alone, and very confused.

~~~~**~~~~

She felt so horrible about herself right now. Was she really jealous of the attention one little girl was getting from Jack? Attention she felt that only she deserved? Was she selfish to want Jack all to herself? To take that away from a little girl who had lost her parents? To know that Jack only clung to Mia because she was his only remaining part of Elliott? She didn’t know why.

“Ms. Walker? Is that you?”

An elderly man peered at her over the top of his glasses. It was her backup pharmacist. He could always get her anything she wanted. And right now, she wanted to be completely numb.

She hurt too much inside to even shed a tear.

Every thing's so blurry

And everyone's so fake

And everybody's empty

And everything is so messed up

Preoccupied without you

I cannot live at all…