Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Tears through Time
Written by Rosa en Bouton

Dedicated to my beloved Yuna-neechan
Angst, as promised. I think. :))

Never had I really given much thought about my parents. As I grew up in that small village, in our simple house with my grandfather, I was happy and content. I have always bore in my heart that my parents left me with just Grandpa out of love. With just that, I lived my life to the fullest, hoping to meet up their expectations, hoping that it could be the least that I could do to return their love.

When I chased after my best friend, I never considered the events that happened afterward. I ran away from home, leaving behind a letter so as not to worry my grandfather, not knowing that I wouldn’t be coming back any soon. I matriculated into the elite academy of Alice, discovering that I had the powers no ordinary person possessed. Soon, I began adjusting to the life in this school.

Alongside friends, I made enemies. Alongside happiness, there was sadness. Alongside relief, there was pain. I encountered so many things here, and made so many memories in such a short amount of time that I couldn’t bear to part with it.

Before I knew it, here I was standing in this vast emptiness, watching the past of my parents in tears, knowing this happened because I needed to make a choice. I needed to make a decision, and I did—and as if by fate, the same decision they made for me.

To leave the ones I love to protect them.

I couldn’t remember when tears began streaming down my cheeks, nor could I remember when they ceased to flow. It wouldn’t have helped if I tried to hold them back—I knew that if I did, I would’ve only stopped breathing and collapsed, only worrying everybody more. As of the moment, I was crying in my best friend’s arms, desperately trying to find stability in my breakdown.

I lived my life in bliss, and they lived theirs in suffering. I was stupid to think so shallowly, selfishly. They’ve had more than enough of their share of pain and tears, and I even spoke so rudely to my own mother, not even knowing what she’s been through. It was agonizing, wasn’t it? Having to leave the ones you love, running away day by day, year by year. Just the thought of it hurts enough that I feel like I’ve been stabbed in my chest, as if having little chance left to live.

I feel so guilty…so sorry…so confused…so tired.

And I just watched. What more could they have felt? What more for them? It just hurts that I haven’t known any of this at all until now, that I couldn’t fully fathom the pain they’ve been through. With the decision I made, to go with my mother and run away to protect them, I felt that it would help, but to leave them behind…how is this protecting them? How can I protect them if I’m away? How can I shield them from harm this way?

Even though I knew having me stay would only make things worse, I can’t help but wonder and doubt myself if I really did make the right decision for them. I may have never really given much thought about it, but I have always longed to be with my mother, haven’t I? She suffered and sacrificed more than enough. I need to make my sacrifices too, for the sake of all of us.

Slowly, I felt Hotaru back a few steps, her warmth going away. Just as I opened my eyes, strong arms wrapped around me and I felt a different kind of warmth. It was more than a friendly embrace; tight but gentle, protective, kind, loving. I cried even harder, realizing immediately who it was.

“I’m sorry,” I barely muttered, stammering as I pulled him closer, crying on his shoulder. I felt him bury his head on my own shoulder, and like I was doing, I felt warm tears wetting my uniform. Anguish and irony today, isn’t it? I just realized what my feelings were really for him, right after he confessed his own. I asked him not to leave, and he promised on doing so, yet here I am leaving him instead.

I can’t leave him. I just can’t. “Can’t…Can’t you go with me?” I don’t want to leave without him. If I can’t stay, can’t I bring him with me? I know it’d be painful, but just being like this…in his arms…hearing his heartbeat…

“Neither I nor you know what would happen if I do but,” I felt as if he had a forced smile on his face, nearing my head to his neck a bit before he continued, “You have no idea how much I want to.”

And I thought I couldn’t cry any harder.

I didn’t know what would happen next, but I knew all for sure that the future lies with the present. We all had to decide, no matter how painful it is, and soon part our ways in hopes of meeting again.

But, for now, just for now, I don’t want to think about anything else. I just want to be in his arms, feel his warmth, and cry. I was crying out of the pain and agony I’ve felt with the past I’ve seen so far, I was crying out of the little joy I had to be surrounded with the ones I love, and be embraced in the one I knew I loved most, more than I thought I would.

I was shedding tears through this vast emptiness, through this small ounce of time.

And that was enough; all that I want to do as of this one moment which I know I can’t relive.

FIN

Just a drabble. Or fluff. I don't know what it should be called, actually, but just something random I had to write after seeing raw scans of Gakuen Alice Chapter 122. Well, it's late now and I really didn't have much time proofreading. My sisters are forcing me to bed. I'll work on Charmed tomorrow and hopefully finish at least 3/4 of it.

Please tell me if there are any typos. Oh yeah, don't forget to leave your reviews, please? :) Will go off now. Bye!

Hugs and Kisses,
Rosa en Bouton