Author: coldplaywhore PM
Edward and Bella are best friends who are madly in love with one another, and completely oblivious to it. It takes one decision and the possibility of two months apart to bring them together. Collab with Risbee for Naughty Heels 80's o/s contestRated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Edward & Bella - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,685 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 12-05-09 - Published: 11-03-09 - id: 5487094
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Risbee: *waves to the crowd nervously* Hi There, I'm the newbie here and month or two ago I turned to my good buddy CPW and I said, 'Hey Bitch, I wanna write something for the Anonymous 80's contest but I need to leave for a wedding and don't have time.'
CPW: You do realize if you had said it like that I would have said no right? If it wasn't for the sexual favors you offered, I would have never agreed to write an almost 10K one shot in five fricking days.
Risbee: I still can't believe we got it written, beta'd (Thanks Sparagus) and to the Naughty Heels girls with enough time for posting.
CPW: Yeah well, we both still owe sexual favors to Sparagus too, so don't get too excited yet.
Risbee: I also can't believe you talked me into expanding this into a full story.
CPW: Oh... I talked you into it? I've never had to talk you into anything in the whole time I've known you, although I'm sure I've talked you out of a few things... clothing included.
Risbee: That's beside the point baby. Anywhoo, so we wrote this one shot with very little expectations but to get both of us into our second contest and this is what you get... London Calling. Go read it, review it, alert it, then tell your friends about it...
CPW: Hell, put a float up in your local Christmas Parade promoting the awesomeness that is London Calling
Risbee: Well, now you are going a bit too far babe.
CPW: Alright then... read and review, then make sure you have one of us on alert so you can enjoy the fabulousness of this when it's expanded. Any Questions?
Risbee: How'd we do in the contest?
CPW: Oh yeah, that…. We finished second behind the epically awesome Ninapolitan! Which is fantastic in and of its self.
Risbee: Okay… enough about us… go read and let us know if you like it. Thanks for those who voted! You guys rock!
NaughtyHeels Anonymous One-Shot Contest
Title: London Calling
Name of Song and Artist of Inspiration Song: Listen to Your Heart by Roxette
Pen Name: Collaboration between Risbee and coldplaywhore
Characters: Bella and Edward
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the pro; we just fuck with them for fun.
I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
The feeling of belonging to your dreams.
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah.
And there are voices
That want to be heard.
So much to mention
But you can't find the words.
The scent of magic
The beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind.
"Just do it already," pressured Emmett as I glared at him and we watched Bella give her valedictorian speech from the podium before us. She had been voted the Forks High Valedictorian in a unanimous vote by the senior class, not that there was a doubt in anyone's mind that it would be someone else. Bella was the class president, had a perfect 4.0 grade point average and was the yearbook editor. How she managed to have time for her friends, especially me, was still baffling. She probably chased her Red Bulls with stay awake pills and spent her nights making Popsicle stick shrines to the lead singer of the Kings of Leon for all I knew.
"I'm not saying anything to her. I have a plan," I said to Emmett as he groaned from his seat in behind me. Emmett McCarty had been my best guy friend since grade school, but Bella had always been my best friend. Our mothers were born and raised in the small town of Forks, and when they got married to their respective husbands, they stayed in town and settled down.
"You've claimed to have had a plan for the past five months when you came to the realization that you liked her Edward," added Emmett as I grabbed his head and turned him back towards the stage.
"I'll get to it. She's been my best friend for my entire life. You just can't rush major changes like this," I explained to Emmett, but also to myself as I tried to remind myself of my goal; to be with Bella.
Bella was an only child, but I had the sheer displeasure of being graced with a younger and annoying sister Alice, who was currently dancing across the school grounds like a ballerina. She was ten years younger than me, and even though I kept insisting to my parents that she needed to be checked for Attention Deficit Disorder, they simply laughed off my claims. They also didn't believe me when I tried to tell them that I found her playing doctor with one of the neighborhood boys in the tree house out back.
"So today, our last day of this long ride we've called high school, I want you to be aware that you are capable of more than you think. If you've ever smashed a bug on your arm, there is a murderous Richard III inside you. If you've ever caught your breath at the sight of someone dipping their toes into Lake Olympia in the late afternoon sun over Olympic National Park then you, too, have Romeo's fluttering heart. Listen to your heart."
The graduating class and all their guests broke out into loud claps as Bella finished her speech and everyone stood up cheering. I felt proud of her while I watched her creamy white cheeks grow pink as she blushed and her dark chocolate eyes scanned the crowd, narrowing in on me giving her the thumbs up. Most of all, I felt love.
It seemed like forever before she finally descended the stairs and our Principal announced the end of our graduation ceremony. I stood from my seat in the crowd of students and was hugged by my mother, whose face was tear-stained, and she dried her eyes with a small handkerchief. "You did so good up there Edward," she gushed as my father offered me a quick handshake and tiny Alice grabbed me by the waist, hugging fiercely.
"All I had to do was walk and grab a piece of paper; it was nothing special," I said casually as my mother mussed up my hair, and I groaned as I pulled away from her.
"I have photos to take Mom," I declared in frustration. I got extremely nervous as Bella and her family approached. Charlie and Renee looked almost as sad as my own mother at the fact that we had finally graduated high school.
"Speaking of photos, we need a good one of you and Bella for the mantle, so go stand beside her," instructed my mother with a smile as I followed her instructions to the letter. Bella and I were now standing beside each other beneath one of the over-sized maple trees in front of our high school. I awkwardly wrapped my arm around her shoulder and leaned in slightly, breathing in her scent which smelled so much like strawberries I couldn't help but groan a bit.
"Are you alright? You seem nervous or something," asked Bella pointedly as we both turned to face our parents who each took a quick picture of us.
"I'm fine," I grumbled.
I noticed Emmett walking over to join us and began a silent prayer to God that he wouldn't say anything. I had it all planned out; how I wanted to spend the summer with her, basically romancing her, so that when we went off to college in the fall, we went together, as boyfriend and girlfriend. I really didn't want to let her go off to the University of Washington without me as her boyfriend, because I knew that every single guy on that campus would want her, and she was mine, not theirs.
"Awesome speech, Bella," announced Emmett but he looked at me. Bella thanked him genuinely as we continued to glare at each other. The tension was broken by my little sister who ran over and wrapped herself around him, excited to see her 'boyfriend', as she had started calling Emmett.
As they played together, I couldn't help but notice the silent conversation going on between Bella and her mother. My interest immediately piqued.
"Tell them," Renee urged as Bella turned to look at me, her eyes filled with sadness. "If you don't tell them, I will, Isabella Marie."
I knew something major was about to go down if Renee was bringing out the big guns and calling Bella by her full name. That had only happened a handful of times since I had known her.
"I got accepted into a study abroad program this summer," she said quietly as my eyes grew wide. "I'll be leaving for London next Saturday morning."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I shouted out, completely forgetting the company I was in. My mother smacked me upside the head in frustration, and I turned back to look at Bella, who looked like she was going to cry because of my outburst.
"No. I'm not kidding. This is a great opportunity for me, and I couldn't very well turn them down, Edward. Someone else dropped out and I was offered their spot, so it was a last minute decision," she said regretfully as I reached my hand behind my head and began stroking the back of my neck angrily. "It's only two months. I'll be back in time to go to UW in the fall."
My mind began racing as Bella, Renee and my mother Esme, began talking animatedly about the things she would see as she studied and traveled Europe. All I could think about was the guys she would meet and the fact that I wouldn't have my chance to tell her that I was in love with her, that she was all I ever thought about and how I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.
"You still have a week," Emmett muttered to me, sensing my fury at the situation I was presented with.
"What the hell am I supposed to do in a week?" I replied quietly, trying not to draw attention to our conversation.
"In a week you show her how you feel. You can tell her how you love her, and you can make sure she knows you will be waiting when she gets back."
I raised the corner of my mouth in a small smile as I looked at Emmett, who for some reason just became my hero. One week. I could do a lot of work in one week.
When I got home from the shitty party that Mike Newton's parents threw him that night, I lay on my bed, my arms resting behind my head, and I tried to think. I had one week, seven days, to tell Bella how I felt about her. I sat up and began writing a list of things to do or say to show her how much I cared and that I didn't want her to leave. My pen scrawled across the paper at break neck speed, and before I knew it, I was feeling pretty proud of myself for what I had decided. Now if I only had the audacity to follow through.
Day One: BPOV
"Oh my god, Angela, I could have absolutely fucking killed him. I mean… what the hell? He knows how much I want to study abroad, and he was so comforting when I got the initial rejection letter. Does he not remember talking to me on the phone all night because I was so depressed at the idea of having to work at Newton's again this summer?" I forced out as I stopped to take a breath.
To say I was livid with Edward's reaction would be an understatement of epic proportions."Does he not remember how he had to come over here and stay with me while I slept because I couldn't calm down enough? Then I get in the program and it's like he doesn't remember anything he said or how disappointed I was. Was he just talking out of his ass to get me to shut up? If that's the case, he had me totally fooled. I actually thought he cared about me. Fuck."
I stomped over to my closet and started pulling out things left and right, not really paying attention to what I was grabbing or where I was throwing it. I was so excited about this opportunity, and then Edward had to open his mouth with his 'are you fucking kidding me' bullshit. Where did he get off making me feel bad for this?
"Bella, calm down." I heard Angela's muffled voice, and I looked over to see her hiding behind her arms which she folded protectively over her head. Apparently I had gotten a little aggressive and almost hit her with one of my Wellies.
"I'm pretty sure Edward didn't mean it the way it sounded. He was probably just surprised; I mean he's got to figure out a way to spend eight weeks without you. That's a pretty big deal," she continued with a knowing look on her face, like I should just accept his outburst and be done with it. No way was that going to happen.
"Ang, he's my best friend. No doubt he always will be, but we're not joined at the hip. Besides, now he has the whole summer to scheme on girls without having to explain why I'm always around," I laughed back. Though honestly, I didn't think it was funny. He'd had girlfriends before, but usually I was able to deflect any of the undesirables—meaning Jessica and Lauren. The summer they grew boobs was absolute hell. Now he was going to be here without me to keep him out of trouble. Fuck.
I walked over to my dresser, intending to continue packing, but I was distracted by the pictures taped to my mirror. The glass could barely by seen behind the huge amount of photos. Edward and I showing off our lack of front teeth when we were 6; Edward and me after the Varsity baseball team won the State Championship game; Edward, Alice and I last Christmas in matching pajamas—yes, Esme and Renee went there. I looked away when I realized that it was becoming harder to stay angry at him. He was so not being cool about this, and I just didn't get it. If he had the chance to go away for the summer, I'd be completely supportive, right?
"Bells, I just don't think you are seeing things clearly," said Angela, ever the voice of reason. She was always so calm and collected, whereas I tended to fly off the handle a bit. "Edward was..."
"Edward was what?" chimed in a voice from the other side of my room. I turned and watched Edward unfold one leg then another as he came in through the second story window. A smile automatically started to form, but I quickly fought it since I was determined to still be mad at him.
"Speak of the devil..." I rolled my eyes, as I found I was angrier at the situation than at Edward.
He looked around at the disaster area that was my room and carefully stepped his way through the carnage before picking my blue lace bra off of the lamp and trying to stuff it in his back pocket, smirking. I reached around him and grabbed it before my face broke out into a blush. Wait, what? I blushed? This was Edward. He's seen me naked. Granted we were four, but still. I didn't get flustered around him.
"Um, Angela was just helping me pack. You know, helping me, like friends do when they're excited for another friend?" I said sarcastically as I continued frantically stuffing the bra back in my drawer.
"Actually Bella, I need to get home. Mom and Dad have some meeting at church tonight, and I told them I'd be home before they left," Angela said not so subtly. As she walked past me, she whispered "Talk to him. You two don't do angry very well."
What the hell was she talking about? Edward and I did everything well together. Cue the blushing...again.
When I turned around, Edward was staring at me funny.
"You feel alright?" he asked. "You look hot...I mean...you look like you're hot," he stammered. What the fuck was up with us lately? It was like we weren't in sync or something. Usually we could complete each others' sentences without missing a beat, and today we couldn't say two words without tripping over our tongues. Hmm, Edward's tongue.
"No. Wait, yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to start getting my things together. I've got so much to do before I leave on Saturday. I need to pack, exchange currency, get extra memory cards for my camera, pack and make copies of my passport and drivers license and print out my schedule and travel itinerary and pack and..."
I threw my hands up in frustration, and my rant was cut off by Edward placing his hand over my mouth.
"Breathe Bella," he chuckled. "Come on, let's get out of here. It's clear that you need some fresh air and I've got the perfect idea to help you relax." He started to climb out the window, but I grabbed him by the arm.
"You can go down the stairs like a normal person, you know," I said as a small laugh escaped my lips.
"Yeah, but your parents don't know I'm here, and if I walked downstairs, they'd figure it out. I'm not willing to lose the secret access," he winked before slipping out the window and climbing down the tree, making it look effortless. I walked downstairs, letting Renee and Charlie know I was going to meet Edward and that I'd be back before dinner. They didn't even look up. That was the way it was with us. We were a given.
Edward was standing outside his Volvo, his fingers spinning his car keys aimlessly as he waited for me. "Where are we going?" I asked as he opened the passenger door for me, and I smirked at how polite he was being.
"Somewhere that will make you smile," he said cryptically as he closed the door behind me, and I watched him walk around the car and get in. He turned on the radio to the 80's station out of Port Angeles, and we drove through town wordlessly. Part of me even considered the fact that he was just driving to confuse the hell out of me, as if I needed any more help in that department.
When we finally pulled into the parking lot of our old elementary school, I looked at him with my mouth open wide. "Are we serving more detention?" I asked curiously. It was very well known in Forks that if Edward got detention, so did I, and this started back in the second grade because he simply could not stop talking. Then he started to get me in trouble so I was always in there with him. It continued on through high school to the point where the teachers just named us both when giving Edward detention, because he hated to be there alone.
"No, we're just going to relax and have fun," he said as he hopped out of the car and ran towards the playground where we spent so much time together as kids. During recess, before school and even after school if one of our mothers' was late, we would play together on the slides, the monkey bars and most importantly, the swings. It didn't skip my attention that Edward went right to the swings and sat down, pushing himself into the air as he waited for me to join him.
"Do you want me to give you a push?" Edward asked as I sat down on the swing next to him, and he used his feet to pull to a stop.
"Sure," I said casually. Edward had always been taller than me, and when we were younger, he would push me on the swing when my feet wouldn't touch the ground. I closed my eyes and let the wind go through my hair as I clutched onto the chain link of the swing and Edward pushed me higher.
"You know, Edward, I wish I didn't have to leave so suddenly, but I just can't turn down this opportunity. Who knows if I will ever get a chance like this again? Our lives are getting ready to change so much in the next few months, I need to do this for me so I don't end up some woman in her mid-30's with a laundry list of regrets,"I explained as I closed my eyes, hoping against hope that he didn't misinterpret my desire to get out of here as desire to get away from him. If I could find a way to get him to come with me, I'd do whatever it took to make it happen.
"I just don't understand why you're not happy for me," I admitted tentatively, and Edward grabbed onto the chains and stopped the swing.
"I never once said I wasn't happy for you, Bella."
"You sure have a funny way of showing it. I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurt me yesterday when you obviously weren't excited for me. Do I mean so little to you that you can't be happy for me?" I accused as he seemed downright insulted. He let go and began pushing me again on the swing as I kept talking. "The shitty thing about it, Edward, is that when I think about leaving, what I'm most afraid of losing is you. My parents will be here when I get back, plus they have to stick with me; there's like a code or something. Our friends from high school, well, most of us are going in different directions anyway, but there's always Twitter and Facebook if I really get curious about somebody. But you… you have the whole world in front of you and nothing to keep you here for when I get back, and that fucking terrifies me. You are the one person I'm scared to miss,"I stopped the swing and swirled the tip of my shoe in the dirt, afraid to look at him.
"Bella, I never meant to make you think I wasn't excited for you. That's not the case at all. I'm so happy for you—you can't even begin to comprehend what I'm feeling." He walked around to the front of my swing and put his finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to his. He grabbed the chains on either side of my head bracing himself around me and leaning down so that we were forehead to forehead. "I will be here when you get back, and we will go to UW together, just like we have always planned. You never have to worry about me leaving, I promise. What was the line from that movie again? Oh, yeah, 'you complete me'," he said with a laugh and pushed me on the swing again.
"You're such a dork," I laughed back.
"Yeah, but I'm your dork, and you love me in spite of it," he quipped before turning to walk back to the Volvo, my eyes following his every movement like it was the last time I would ever see it.
Yeah, I think I do. Wait, what?
Day 2: EPOV
When Bella and I left the playground the day before, I just happened to steal her iPod from her pocket. As expected, she called this morning and asked if she had dropped in the Volvo, and I assured her that I had it and would return it later in the day when I saw her. I felt like an ass for deceiving her, but I would never be able to do what I wanted to do with her knowledge.
So I now found myself sitting in front of my Mac, desperately trying to add songs that both held meaning to Bella and me, but also reminded me of her. I Googled romantic songs and groaned as most of the shit was Celine Dion and Mariah Carey, neither of which were appealing at all. I texted Emmett, who advised me that 'Me So Horny' by 2LiveCrew would be a good choice. Needless to say, I would need to punch him in the stomach for that suggestion next time I saw him.
I wracked my brain as I leaned back in my desk chair and tried to think. The first concert we ever saw was John Mayer, and Bella always loved his song 'Love Soon', so I added that one first to the playlist I had decided to make her. I remembered that just the other day she said she liked the song 'Beloved One' by Ben Harper, so I searched for it on YouTube, deciding the lyrics were pretty damned perfect and added it as well.
I was about six songs into the playlist when I got a text message from Bella, her impatience obvious in her words.
When am I seeing you today? I feel naked without my iPod. - B
Jesus, if she knew the things those simple words were doing to me right now, she would probably kick me in the family jewels, grab her iPod and run.
Wanna go get pizza for dinner? –E
The mere mention of pizza reminded me of when we went out to a Pizza Hut one night while babysitting Alice. My parents had gone into Seattle overnight and hadn't trusted me enough to watch Alice on my own, so they enlisted the help of Bella. Not that I minded, because once Alice went to bed we stayed up and watched horror movies, and I might have caught a glimpse of her boobs. Okay, I definitely got a really good peek at them, but I would never admit that to her. At the time though, 'After Tonight' by Justin Nozuka had been playing on VH1, so that song was forever ingrained in my mind. I added it on the playlist as I got another text from her.
No can do. The 'rents are insisting on family bonding time or some shit. Just come over and join us. –B
What time? –E
Six – B
I'll be there –E
Don't forget the iPod –B
You don't love me, just the iPod. I see how it is now. –E
Damn straight – B
I closed my phone and added a few more songs, including a few cheesy eighties tunes from our favorite movies and her favorite Roxette songs and then decided it was as good as it was going to get. If she couldn't tell how I felt about her by the song choices, then I was massively screwed.
When I got to her place for dinner, Charlie and Renee didn't seem surprised to see me. What did surprise me was the fact that they said I could head up the Bella's room to see her. I think Renee even winked at me, which to be honest, kind of creeped me out a bit.
I didn't knock, choosing to just walk in and when I did, I found Bella pulling a t-shirt on, her breasts fully exposed to me. "Holy shit," I muttered as I put my hands over my eyes.
"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Bella asked angrily as I backed away from her nervously, my hand tight against my face. "I'm dressed you can turn around."
"Why the fuck aren't you wearing a bra?" I asked incredulously. I mean, I was happy she wasn't wearing one, she had gorgeous fucking tits, but how the hell was I supposed to make it through dinner with her parents with a massive hard on.
"Did you bring it?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.
"Bring what?" I asked stupidly, completely letting all coherent thought evaporate from my mind. I was still staring at her now covered chest when I felt her small hand hit me across the back of the hand.
"The iPod, dipshit, did you bring the iPod?" I quickly mumbled a yes and grabbed it from my pocket, tossing it towards her carelessly. I didn't even notice when her mother called us for dinner, and Bella had to grab my hand and pull me from her room. When we got to the middle of the stairs, she stopped abruptly. "You do realize if you can't stop looking at my boobs through dinner, the Chief will shoot you in the baby maker right?" I nodded in acknowledgment and let her lead me to the dining room and the most awkward dinner of my entire life.
Day 3: BPOV
I rubbed my eyes and groaned as my mother knocked on my bedroom door. I had been up so late the night before trying to pack and come to grips with what was happening to me and Edward, that now at nine thirty in the morning, I was pissed at my mother for waking me.
"You have a delivery," she called through the wooden door as I reluctantly tossed my legs off the edge of the bed and opened the door. There she stood, holding the most beautiful arrangement of pink and white flowers I had ever seen in my life.
"Who the hell would send me these?"
"There's a card, so why don't you see for yourself," said my mother with a devious smirk as she thrust the vase towards me, and I clutched it gently. I put it on my desk as my mother closed the door behind her, laughing lightly as she went. I picked up the card and gently pulled it out of the envelope, letting the words wash over me as I read them.
Thinking of you Always – E
I knew Edward wasn't around today since he was going into Seattle with his dad, having bitched about it the last time I talked to him, but it was weird that he sent me flowers. He had never sent me flowers before, and for a reason as simple as him going away for the day, I couldn't stop the nagging feeling that everything was changing.
I pulled out my laptop and decided go Google flower meanings. I wasn't even sure what some of the flowers were, but I knew there were white carnations, which meant 'sweet and lovely' as well as 'innocent.' I researched the pink flower and discovered it was a Pink Camellia, which the website claimed meant 'longing for you', and the final flower was a Gardenia. It meant 'secret love'.
I sat down on the edge of my bed and rested my chin in my hands as I looked at the flowers, feeling more confused than ever. I could understand him thinking I was sweet and maybe even lovely, but did he long for me? Was he in love with me?
Day 4: EPOV
I grabbed the journal from my nightstand and moved my fingers slowly over top of the embossed letters that simply said 'BS'. I had purchased the leather bound journal for her weeks ago as a graduation gift, knowing full well that her current journal was almost full. Of course now the fact that she was going away made the gift even more fitting. I grabbed a black pen and opened it up to the very first page and began to write something that would be meaningful to her when she was away and hopefully missing me as much as I knew I would miss her.
I wish that I could hold you now...I wish that I could touch you now...I wish that I could talk to you...be with you somehow.
I closed the book as soon as the ink was dry and then wrapped it as carefully as I could. As expected, it looked like it was wrapped by a drunken monkey, but Bella was used to my shitty wrapping skills after all this time.
Bella was going out tonight with a few girls from school to celebrate her imminent departure, and I had to admit, I was pretty fucking pissed I wouldn't get to see her tonight. So when everything was said and done, I drove over to her house and sneaked in her window, pleased that Bella kept her window open most of the time during the summer months. I laid the gift down on her bed and went back out the way I came in with no one none the wiser.
Day 5: BPOV
It was three forty five in the afternoon, and I was actually ready to go a little ahead of schedule, which was completely unlike me. Edward said he'd be here by four, and I had been pacing around the living room for thirty minutes already. Something was going on with us, and I was feeling all kinds of confused as to what it meant. The dynamic of us had changed, and even though I liked it, it also scared me to death. What if I misinterpreted everything and lost him? I couldn't afford to get my hopes up like that; too much was a stake. I was leaving in two days for Christ's sake. Now was definitely not the time to start trying to dissect something this huge.
I barely slept the night before. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his written words burned on the inside of my eyelids. I wish that I could hold you now...I wish that I could touch you now... What made him choose those words? Did they mean something to him, and if so, what? How literal was I supposed to take them, if at all? Were they just some part of a quote he plucked out of cyberspace about missing someone, or was there some truth behind it? Gah, I wish I could just read his mind! In my heart, I knew what I wanted it to mean, but my head was just not allowing me to process it.
I heard the door to Edward's Volvo close, and suddenly my heart felt like it wanted to jump out of my body. I didn't even wait for him to knock on the door, but instead I ran out of the house to meet him; like he was going to disappear if I didn't get out there immediately. He said he'd never leave, remember?
Remembering our conversation on the playground, I immediately felt all warm and fuzzy and relieved somewhat at his promise to never leave. Yet as I replayed the words from the journal in my head, I found myself suddenly feeling a bit awkward. The words wouldn't come, and I just stared at him like I had never seen him before. Finally, I just shook my head and snapped out of it. I couldn't let my confusion start to influence what we had between us; he was too important to me. He was my Edward.
"Where are we going? I blurted out.
"Hey to you too," he laughed back, reaching up to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. "Ready to go?" He motioned with his head towards his car before opening the passenger side door for me.
Edward rarely ever told me where we're going, and I stopped asking long ago, but before long our path became familiar, and I just knew. We pulled off on the side of the road, and I felt the grin spread across my face. Our meadow. There wasn't anything that could stop us here. It was our own safe haven in the world. We laughed here; we cried here, and we fought here. In fact, if there was one place on the face of this earth that defined 'Edward and Bella', it would be this circle of green in the middle of nowhere.
Edward opened the trunk of the Volvo and started to pull out everything as he struggled to carry it all. It took all my energy not to start laughing as he started juggling, shifting and almost dropping everything in his hands.
Here, let me get something." I reached out to grab the bag which he was trying not to drop. It wasn't that big, so surely I wouldn't damage his masculine pride by trying to carry something so insignificant.
"No," he snapped back, somewhat abruptly, and I pulled my hand back just staring at him. What the fuck was that?
"Fine." I stood there and watched him continue to struggle until he finally shoved everything back in his trunk and looked at me.
"Um, okay, so I need some help...," he grinned sheepishly, "but no peeking okay?" He handed me a blanket and different bag than the one I noticed earlier, grabbing the rest of the stuff himself before closing the trunk.
We walked the short distance to the meadow, all the tension melting away with each step. Edward took the blanket from me and laid it on the ground. We both laid down and exhaled; it was just so good. We didn't really need to say anything, so silence remained between us for a few minutes, but it was not awkward. We just enjoyed being together, so I snuggled in close to him and breathed.
I felt him put something in my hand, and I look down, laughing when I saw the familiar little blue bottle. Bubbles. Edward brought bubbles, which completely reminded me of our childhood and the bottles our mothers used to give us to keep us busy while they gossiped. I unscrewed the top and pulled out the wand and blew out a deep breath—watching as the transparent spheres caught in the slight breeze and floated wherever the wind took them.
I dipped the wand back in the bottle before I moved it in front of Edward I stared intently as he pursed his lips and blew; his breath warm on my hand. His approach was different than mine. He took his time, slowly building up the biggest bubble he could. Nurturing it and taking his time until it got so big that it broke off on its own. My bubbles flew out of the wand in rapid succession, but his ambled slowly behind. The symbolism was not lost on me. I was the soap in the wand, waiting for my turn to be shoved into to the world. We both were; I was just venturing out first.
"Tell me about the program Bella. What classes are you taking? Do you get any time to travel? Tell me everything," he said excitedly as he followed it with a deep sigh. "I want to live vicariously through you. I want to be able to look at my calendar and close my eyes and imagine what you are doing." He hesitated for a minute and then chuckled to himself, "yeah, I kinda sound like a stalker, don't I?"
I started laughing and shoved him because there was nothing he could do that would ever freak me out. I could rationalize and analyze and justify his behavior… our behavior all I wanted, but it delved so far beyond the intellectual. I just wished I could trust myself enough to be led by my emotions and take the risk to figure it out. Instead, I took the easy way out and started answering his questions. I told him about my creative writing class and the cities I was supposed to visit and where I was staying—but I avoided telling him how I wished I could experience it with him, how I wished I could just stay where I was at that very moment all summer long.
I closed my eyes, trying to rein my emotions in before I started crying, and it was then that I noticed our position. At some point, I'd put away the bubbles, and we'd shifted during our conversation from lying beside each other on the blanket to me lying almost on top of him. My head was resting on his chest, my ear almost directly over his heart. His right arm was on my back and his left hand was combing through my hair. It was so natural, right and good. I didn't want to move. Ever. I closed my eyes and took in the moment while we said so much without saying anything.
I felt him shift suddenly, but I didn't move. I was too content. I then felt Edward reach over his head behind him for one of the bags, and there was a rustling noise, which seemed so much louder than it should in our small little meadow. Edward then slid something over my arm, before returning one arm to my back and the other to my hair. I opened my eyes and saw the sun reflecting off a thin sterling silver bracelet, but when I looked closer, I saw that there was something engraved on it. More words. More of Edward's words. I pulled it towards my face, squinting to read the elegant script. 'Listen to Your Heart'
How did he always know?
I turned my head to look at him, but he was lying back with his eyes closed. Again, we didn't need to say anything. I snuggled back into his chest, and he tightened his arms around me. And we continued to feel.
Day 6: EPOV
"What are you doing?" my mother asked as I sat perched on the couch in the living room, my laptop across my lap as I continued looking through thousands of poetry websites for something perfect.
"I'm looking for a poem."
"What kind of poem? Is it for Bella?" she asked, her smile wide as she sat across from me and looked at me eagerly, like she wanted to help.
"Maybe it's for her," I replied coolly as she laughed loudly at me.
"I don't know why you are hiding your feelings from me. I've seen you around her since the day you were born. Hell, you two used to bathe naked together," she began to say as I was suddenly overwhelmed with images of Bella and me in a bath together, naked. "Renee and I have always thought you two were destined to be together."
"You could have told me this a while ago," I said sarcastically as my mother rolled her eyes and got up from the couch. She came over and began to run her fingers through my hair slowly.
"Love is something you need to learn on your own Edward, not be told what to do. However, I can tell you if you want something romantic, how about you look up Christopher Brennan. I always enjoyed his poetry when I was younger."
I watched with a bit of awe as my mother walked out of the room, looking very smug. Needless to say I Googled Christopher Brennan and found one that was fitting called 'Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her.' I pasted it into an email and wrote a small note, hitting send quickly so that I didn't second guess myself.
After I sent it, I sat glued to the couch, staring at the screen as though I expected a quick response from her. "Did you find something?" my mother asked almost half an hour after I sent the email.
"Yeah. She hasn't responded though," I said, the disappointment clear in my voice.
"I'm sure she's just busy. She is leaving for Europe in two days after all," she added as she sat beside me and handed me a photo album I had never seen before. "Perhaps looking at these photos will help you deal with her leaving. She'll be back Edward. I know she will."
"Thanks," I uttered quietly as my mother kissed the top of my head and disappeared into the kitchen to work on dinner. I flipped through the pages, staring at every single picture for way too long before deciding to just stop stressing and tell her I loved her.
Day 7: BPOV
Please be online. Please be online. If I ever needed Angela to be on GChat, this was it. While I waited for my ancient computer to finish loading, I replayed the fantabulous events of tonight in my head. Well, most of tonight was fantabulous; the last ten minutes however had me going from a state of bliss to a state of what the fuck?!
Edward crawled through my window, wearing flannel pajama pants, a hoodie and his backpack. He wordlessly took his backpack off and opened it, pulling out a photo album before sitting on my bed patting the space beside him. Once I got over the vision of him sitting on my bed, I sat next to him and we spent the next hour going through all the pictures within the book and reminiscing over our seventeen years together. After we finished looking at all the pictures, I realized that I didn't want him to leave. I knew it would be incredibly hard to say goodbye to him tomorrow, so I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before I had to go.
"Edward, can you stay?" I asked him. He had slept over before, usually after a scary movie or to keep me company when my parents were out of town, but tonight was different. We both knew it.
"I was kind of hoping you'd suggest that," he replied, looking down at his pajama pants and grinning. Again, he was one step ahead of me. He took off his hoodie, and I inhaled sharply. I took in the chiseled lines of his chest, his muscles defined but not unrealistic for seventeen, and I gave a silent thanks to the man upstairs for letting me wear flirty pajamas tonight instead of my favorite sweats and holey t-shirt. He held his arms open, and I buried myself in them, breathing him in and committing as much of him to memory as possible. Eight weeks was going to be a really long time now that I knew what I was leaving behind.
I lay back down on his warm chest, and we cuddled and snuggled and continued talking for hours. We talked about everything from how he tried to catch Chicken Pox from me and ended up quarantined for all of Christmas break to the time he tried to cheat, oops, I mean 'help me' win the Girl Scout cookie sales contest to the Halloween party at Emmett's last fall. We never did figure out how those footprints got on the ceiling. I had been struck by the beauty of that moment, and I realized what my heart knew before my mind did. I was in love with Edward Cullen.
I rolled off of him to reach over and grab a Kleenex, intending to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. He rolled with me until he was hovering over me, propped up on his forearms.
"Yeah. All these stories are getting to me. I guess with everything going on in the next few days I just got a little sentimental." I answered back, not yet willing to let him know the truth behind my tears.
He rolled again, this time onto his side, pulling me with him until we were both on our sides and face to face. He took his hand and gently wiped away my tears with his thumb, never breaking eye contact. When his thumb reached the outer edge of my cheekbone, he continued to slide his fingers down the side of my jaw. He maneuvered his hand until the backs of his fingers were resting under my chin and he was able to gently lift up my chin. He closed his eyes and he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. His lips encased my lower one, and I responded eagerly, yet carefully, not wanting to trivialize the moment. This kiss was a big deal, and we both knew it. Before we were just Bella and Edward, two separate people but now the idea of 'Bella and Edward' together, was out there and we would have to deal with it.
Then without warning, Edward pulled his lips away from mine and sat up abruptly. Before I had a chance to ask him what was wrong, he was grabbing his hoodie and backpack and climbing out the window.
What the fuck?
I was pulled from my replay by the familiar chime indicating new email. I saw one from Edward that had been sent earlier in the day when I was running last minute errands with Renee.
Huh, he didn't mention sending me anything...
I opened it and couldn't believe what I was reading. There were just a few words about how these words below made him think of me and then one of the most romantic poems I had ever read.
Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why"
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
and life in me is what you give.
I knew that I would never feel what Edward makes me feel with anybody else. Based on the words of this poem, now more than ever, I thought he felt the same way. So why the hell did he leave?
Please be online. Please be online.
Day 8: BPOV
When I finally woke the next morning, my head hurt and my heart ached. Kissing Edward had been… perfect, until the moment he ran from my room like a madman possessed. I had gotten his email with the poem, and when I picked up my cell phone to call him this morning, I couldn't do it. I didn't know what the hell had gotten into him last night, but I couldn't let his indecision and confusion ruin my trip of a lifetime.
I spent the day checking that I had everything packed and putting it all in my mom's small Toyota Corolla. Charlie and Renee were both working the afternoon shift and weren't going to be able to take me to the airport in Port Angeles to catch my flight. We said our goodbyes just before they headed off to work, and Charlie assured me they would pick up the car from the parking lot later that night. I was looking forward to the drive by myself, thinking the time alone would be a great way for me to clear my mind before boarding my flight to Seattle and then to New York. The only thing that weighed on my mind was the fact that I desperately wanted to see Edward again before I left. I wanted to know why, but I couldn't bring myself to go and see him.
It wasn't a shock when I went to leave the house just after six thirty to catch my ten o'clock flight that it was pouring outside. I grabbed an umbrella from beside the door and made a run to the car, praying I didn't manage to get too wet during the short run to the car. Once safely inside, I plugged in my iPod and then turned on the windshield wipers and pulled out of the driveway, eager to begin my summer aboard.
As I started to drive down my street, something made me look back one more time. I don't know what it was, but I did, and there was Edward, out of breath and soaked to the skin in the pouring rain. I had no idea why the hell he was standing there, but I caught a quick glimpse of him and couldn't help but notice the despair that was obvious on his face; he thought he had missed me.
My foot hit the brake, and I put the car in park as I was already out the door and running towards him. His arms enveloped me, picking me up and holding me in close to him.
"Oh thank God, thank God," he whispered. Setting me down, he looked into my eyes, "I thought I'd missed you."
"I wanted to see you one more time before I left," I admitted ruefully as Edward pushed some of my wet hair away from my face, making it easier for him to see me. "Why did you leave last night?"
"I'm scared shitless of you leaving me and never coming back. Why the hell would you want to come back to me and Forks after you've been to England and France? Why would you want me when you've got all the men in Europe wanting you?"
"I don't want all the guys in Europe Edward," I admitted confidently. We were still crushed to each other, our hot breaths showing in the cold air.
"What do you want?" he asked as I shivered slightly, but not because of the cold rain. I couldn't manage any words to explain myself, so I did the only thing I was sure he would understand and I kissed him. Hard. My lips melding to his with all the passion I could muster. My hands grabbed the back of his neck and slowly made their way through his wet hair as I pulled him closer to me, unable to get enough of him.
"You. It's always been you," I said breathlessly when I finally pulled away. Edward's lips then attached themselves to my neck as his hands moved up the back of my wet shirt. Before I could even comprehend what was going on, Edward lifted me up by my ass and was carrying me towards the car, pressing me against it as he rubbed his hard cock against my aching body. "I can't leave without being with you."
"Bella," he began to say before I silenced him with my lips, my tongue snaking out and plunging deep in his mouth, which elicited a groan from Edward.
"Please," I muttered as I noticed his eyes darting around as though he was looking for somewhere for us to go and for the first time ever, I had never been so happy to live on such a deserted street. "Here. We can do it here."
"I'm not making love to you for the first time in the rain against your mothers' car," Edward said, sounding a bit disappointed in me, but I didn't care. I needed to be with him. I needed this reminder as I left him for two months. A reminder that he loved me only and that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I grasped the hem of my shirt and pulled it off over my head, listening to the hard thud of the wet fabric against the hood of the car. "Shit Bella."
"Edward, I'm leaving in a few hours, why are you hesitating?" I asked as I looked at him with concern as his face fell at my words.
"You're still leaving?"
"I have to go Edward. I promise, I will come back to you and we can go off to university together as boyfriend and girlfriend if that is what you want," I stated firmly, hoping to god he would simply understand why I needed to go.
"Do you promise?" he asked as I felt his hand against the inside of my thigh, and I suddenly wished I was wearing a skirt instead of jeans. I nodded my head as Edward pulled me in for another kiss.
"I promise," I whispered against his sweet lips, and he suddenly relented. His hands were everywhere on both my clothed and bare skin, his lips doing magical things to my neck as I let him lift me onto the hood of the car, his body pressed firmly between my legs, and I could feel all of him as he ground against me.
"I have wanted to do this for so long," he said quietly as he kissed his way down my stomach, his hands fumbling with the button and zipper on my jeans. I lifted my ass off the hood and Edward swiftly pulled my soaking wet jeans away from me. I felt so exposed in just my bra and panties, but I didn't care. Every single car in town could drive down my deserted lane right now, and I wouldn't change a thing in the world.
Very little was said between Edward and I as I felt his fingers hook on the edge of my panties and he pulled them down as he stared at me, the lust clear in his eyes. Once I was naked below the waist, Edward began to unbuckle his belt and tug his pants down to release his cock, which made me smile and lick my lips simultaneously. I gasped as his finger worked its ways between my lips and he stroked me gently.
"Fuck Bella," he growled as he suddenly wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight to his chest as I felt his cock right at my entrance.
"Have me. Have all of me," I said as I began to hear the words to my favorite Roxette song run through my mind. Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye. "I love you."
"Fuck, I have loved you for so long Bella," he admitted sadly. "I thought I had forever to tell you." Edward tightened his grip around my body, and as I leaned forward to kiss his lips sweetly, he entered me and I gasped. He felt perfect, and I never wanted this to end.
"You just told me," I whispered against his lips as the rain poured between our eager bodies and he began to move slowly, in and out of me, taking his time as he showed me just how much he loved me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him deeper into me, never wanting to lose the connection between us.
I thought about our relationship, and realized that while this scenario was not 'the ideal', it was perfect for us. Uncomplicated and pure with a little bit of awkwardness thrown in for good measure. We didn't need the games and the frills as long as we had each other. I looked at Edward, his eyes closed and his brow furrowed in concentration. I could feel my release building in my body, and I moved my hands to his face, bringing his mouth to mine. My body exploded, and I could feel him follow behind me, our eyes locked on one another, and I swear I could see into his soul. My heart was racing, and his muscles were shaking. We were completely drenched, but there was nothing I would change about the moment.
We drove back to my house to get dry and cleaned up, bursting in to laughter as we looked at each other naked in my mom's car. Things were so easy between us, and I knew that we'd make it eight weeks and thousands of miles apart. We were fused together, our two halves were now a whole and it was perfect.
Edward insisted on driving me to the airport, so I called Renee to let her know why her car would be in the driveway when she got home from work. Once we were in dry clothes, Edward looking a little less than comfortable in Charlie's jeans and a hoodie he reclaimed from me, it was time to go. The drive to the airport was over before it began, and I found myself facing the moment I had dreaded since I found out I had been accepted into the program.
"Edward, I have to go."
He nodded and kissed me. It was a kiss that made my toes curl, and I felt like every nerve in my body was on fire.
"Something to remember me by," he murmured, that smirk spreading across his face. Not willing to be outdone, I kissed him back just as he had kissed me, leaving him breathless and wanting more.
" That is something for you to remember me," I teased back. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you."
"I'll email you and call you when I can," I said as I tried to reassure him.
"I'll be here waiting."
"I have to go."
"I don't want you to go," he admitted as I felt his lips move gently across my own.
"I have to go."
"You have to go."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
I kissed the tip of his nose one more time before getting out of the car. I wouldn't let him go with me inside; it would just prolong the hurt. He pulled away from the curb, and I watched him for as long as I could.
Wiping away the tears, I looked at the flight schedule, seeing that my flight was on time. I put my ear buds in my ear and turned on my iPod, listening to Edward's playlist as a way to keep a connection to him.
Listen to Your Heart was still playing from when I was listening yesterday, and I found myself seeing the past week in the words. I was never more thankful for listening to my own heart.
My thoughts were interrupted by the call for boarding, and I looked out the window one more time out of instinct. My dreams were a plane ride away, but my future and my love and my heart were waiting for me back in Forks. Wiping away my tears, I took a deep breath and mouthed a silent 'I love you' towards the window, towards Edward.
I would be back, but for now, London was calling.