AN:

Oops, it seems like ColorlessCrayons did not mention that this is updated every work day, which is Monday through Friday.

Like you had been informed last time, our very own Fran of Franstreet, Franland had smuggled some crack from his country and put it in everyone’s drinks, including his own. (Whatever his reason is, you, the reader, does not want to know. It will scar you more than the mental image of Levi, un-waxed, and in a particularly revealing bikini. A pink bikini.)

So, not only does the Varia members are in la-la-land, they also have hangovers, and is acting the way how stereotypical labels of kids in high school would act, so whatever they respond is not how they usually do. ColorlessCrayons also know as ‘your highness’, does not and will not pay for your insurance if your head explodes from this crack-filled chapter.

You may proceed, but you are warned.

From: Kathy

To Squalo: If your hair was red would you like it and if not what would you do to it?

Squalo: Red? Of course I would love it! –eats a potato chip while keeping his eyes on a RPG game on the computer- All the badass characters from games like Axel (Kingdom Hearts) and Reno (Final Fantasy) have red hair, and it will add on to my badassery!

From: Kathy

To Levi: What would you do if you are in Naruto?

Levi: Nah-roo-toh? Bwahahahahaha, I would join the Akatsuki, give the boot to all the existing members of it, and hire people like Orichimaru, Zabuza, and Choji so we can form a Sailor Moon Fan Club! (And we will cosplay as them too; it will be the most beautiful and manly thing ever!)

From: Kathy

To Mammon and Fran: Why do you guys have marks on your faces?

Mammon: Duuuuude, didn’t you know? Like, having triangular tattoos these days are like, so sick, bro. I had them for like, a while, and then Fran over there like, copied me. It was like, so. Not. Cool.

Fran: I decline to incorporate in this insignificant dialogue, you moronic imbecile. Why don’t you have some other concepts of word usage annexed in your inadequate bundle of vocabulary instead of posing there and wasting space?

Mammon: Duuuuude, chillax bro. Like, go buy a chill pill or something, man and quit being a hamster fetus.

From: Kathy

To everyone: If you guys were brainiacs would you be bald?

Xanxus: OH GOD, WHY IS EVERYONE SO TALL?

Squalo: Nope. –pounds on his keyboard- God damn it, don’t die on me now.

Mammon: No way bro, like, you’re killing me. I’d never have my head bald.

Bel: Ha, no way! My hair will never do that to me, it’s radd, with a double ‘d’! Plus, I dyed my hair so many times, and it’s still hella soft. Hey, move over, Fran kid, you’re sitting on my Gloomy Bear!

Fran: Only a simpleton would allocate their money on nugatory possessions such as your pink bear.

Bel: -blows a raspberry at Fran-

Levi: I’m too pretty to be bald!

From: Kathy

To Xanxus: hey if you were in an American movie as yourself who do you think ill play you and why? Don’t say Zac Efron. That fugly person would ruin the movie.

Xanxus: HE IS TOO TALL!

From: Sannin-Sango

To Bel & Fran: Will you two please kiss for me~? I'll pay!

Bel: No, he is not hardcore enough. And he’s probably not straightedge either.

Fran: I would never kiss someone who contains a vocabulary of a mere child.

From: Sannin-Sango

To Squalo: Yeah you were probably drunk, or high. Still would you please reconsider letting me braid your hair and if you won't, can I pretty please cut it all epic and short again?

Squalo: must…finish party quest…no, no?! Left! Damn it! You stupid noob!

Died again! –Turns his attention away from computer screen- No. –And back to the computer-

From: Sannin-Sango

To Levi: No seriously don't try to argue, you cannot be my flawless logic, my logic is even more flawless then Bel's and Mukuro's combined. So how many times in a week to you consider committing suicide from your ugliness alone?

Levi: Ug, what the hell are you talking about? I am part of the Beautiful People for Beautiful People to Admire Club, and there’s no way that I can be ugly! And Bel’s logic don’t make sense, and all Mukuro talks about is how to take over Tsuna’s body to do whatever he wants to do, not that I want to know, and if anyone wants to consider suicide, it would be Xanxus, since he’s a freshman.

Xanxus: DAMN ALL TALL PEOPLE TO HELL!

From: Sannin-Sango

To Bel: When you went to Namimori with Mammon during the Arcobaleno trials why did you disguise yourself as a girl?

Bel: Oh-em-gee, did you have to bring that up again? Mammon made me do it because of his ‘It will be less suspicious if you dress as a girl’. I wonder if he really thought that, or just wanted to see me in girl clothes.

Mammon: You looked sick, man.

Bel: Fer sure.

From: Crystal

To Fran: Your documentary was so amazing! How did you put crack in everyone's drink? And are you going to do anything to Bel to get back at him while he's all drugged up from all the crack?? What do you usually do when Bel keeps saying "because I’m a prince" BS of a comeback??

Fran: I acknowledge your praise for my very distinguished piece of artwork. Crack? You must mean marihuana. I did by using my superior intelligence, unlike Belphegor, who possesses the IQ of his shoe size. I don’t need to do anything; either way, Belphegor is acting like an uncivilized co-worker unit, and that is merry enough for me. When those words come out of his mouth, I retort phrases that would trigger his anger and that decreases his life span in the long run.

From: Never Moore

To Gay Prince: Bel, are you gay?

Bel: -hugs Gloomy Bear-

Mammon: Duuuuude, the questioner means you, bro.

Bel: -smiles innocently- Ai-dee-kay, what do you think?

From: Never Moore

To Lussuria: Can I hug you?

Lussuria: NO. I hate everyone and everything. You need to die. Everyone needs to die. I might as well just shove my cat in the lawn mower.

From: Never Moore:

To Levi: Pay for my medical bill, I’m fucking blind now. Better yet, when will you die?

Levi: Such a person like me who ages beautifully will never die!

From: Starr-x3

To all: If the Varia is forced to make a cake together, what would happen?

Xanxus: TOO MANY TALL PEOPLE! MUST…RUN…AWAY!

Squalo: THE CAKE IS A FUCKING LIE!

Bel: That’s golden; I call dibs on the frosting!

Lussuria: Let us make a black cake to celebrate the one-year-closer-to-death-anniversary.

Mammon: Duuuuude, mellow out, man. Just enjoy the cake.

Fran: That is right, Belphegor, consume the pantry and become obese due to the calories.

Mammon: No way, like, I don’t want Bel to be a barrel. Not cool.

From: Iris-Tai

To Fran: What was your life like while you were being trained by Nappo-chan still floating in a tank AKA Mu-kun (Mukuro).

Fran: Such personal nicknames are useless in this harsh world of terror and instability. Also, a top-secret inside information would not ever be revealed!

Bel: -until his next hella boring documentary, of course.

From: Iris-Tai

For Bel: I understand that your eyes are sensitive to the horrifying
ugliness known as Levi A Than. However, is your eyes one of those types of eyes that reveals everything about a personality? (Ex. If they can be trusted, what their childhood was like, how they act know.)

Bel: -shrugs- I don’t sit in the mirror and look at my eyes, but they’re hella hardcore. Whoever looks at them digs them. Fran thinks they’re the bomb.

Fran: Don’t flatter your egotistic nature, Belphegor.

From: Iris-Tai

For Mammon: What id your opinion of al the Arcobaleno? Give me explanations as what you think of them, not one worded responses of "boring. Cheapo, weird."

Mammon: They were like, not cool at all, dude. They’re only B.G.L., and can’t skate for life. Reborn acts like a chode, like, not even funny, man. And the rest were either like, annoying, over friendly, or ignores you, like, not cool. Majorly not cool.

From: Loves2LickOreos

For Bel: Why are you wearing a tiara? Aren’t you supposed to be wearing a crown?

Bel: Because Claire’s doesn’t sell crowns, only tiaras. But now that I got used to it, tiaras are pretty radd.

From: Tateno Atsukino

For everyone: my second question for all you guys…If you can make 3 wishes... What would it be? And…What type of woman that fit to be your wife?

Xanxus: CURSES! THOSE STUPID TALL PEOPLE! THEY’RE OVERPOPULATING!

Squalo: To kill all the noobs that are ruining the game, to pwn at every single RPG game ever existed, and to have an unlimited amount of potato chips. Woman? Someone who is good at gaming and isn’t a noob.

Lussuria: I wish everyone can die. And everything die. And someone who understands me, and that someone can die too.

Bel: To have long-lasting hair dyes, a gift card to my favorite store, and every Gloomy Bear and Hello Kitty figurine ever released. Not interested in dating girls right now. –texts on his phone-

Fran: Because Belphegor is only interested in the male species.

Bel: -spits his gum on Fran-

Mammon: Duuuuude, I totally want the sheep to die, seriously, man. Not looking for marriage right now.

From: kaitlin177

To Xanxus: I threw you out the window in my fanfic what do you think about that?

Xanxus: YOU MUST BE A TALL PERSON!

Fran: He claims he is not a fan of defenestration.

From: kaitlin177

To Lussuria: Big sis~ I want to know if you would rape Ryohei.

Lussuria: I hate everyone. I do not want to have anything to do with them, let alone doing something like that.

From: kaitlin177

To Levi: I made Gokudera kiss Xanxus in my fanfic what do you think about that?

Levi: I’m much prettier than Xanxus.

From: kaitlin177

To Bel: Bel: If you had to fight with something other than knifes what would it be? Oh I love you and planning to cosplay as you at the next kawaii kon.

Bel: -pops another piece of gum in his mouth- Hmm, probably with a Gloomy Bear claw, they’re so hardcore.

From: TheCuriousReader

To Bel: I bet you must have strung multiple people together with your wires before. What was your highest record?

Bel: Too many to count, I was trying to string them as notes for my favorite song. It didn’t work though, they’re as heavy as fat cows.

From: TheCuriousReader

To Fran: Do you actually wear a pineapple hairstyle under that froggy hat? Will you do some samba for us?

Fran: That too, is a mystery confined. No, so samba. It is an uneducated dance that does not bring benefits to the human body.

From: TheCuriousReader

To Mammon: Besides money, what is the most important thing for you? Why do you try to get real money when you can simply use your illusions to give yourself an endless fortune?

Mammon: Duuuuude, besides money, I like to go for some sessions with the locals. It’s like, sick, man. And illusions are fake, like, I can’t spend money made out of illusions until I want to donut shop coming after me.

From: TheCuriousReader

To Lussuria: Do you have any hidden talents? If so, will you please show us?

Lussuria: I write poems. Bel, I know you want to hear one of them.

Bel: I do?

Lussuria: Yes, yes you do. –gets out a piece of crumbled paper from his pocket-

I hate you.

You hate me.

No one fucking cares about Barney.

With a stab of hatred and a slap from everyone to you.

Won’t you just say you hate me too.

You should die.

Die and then die.

Just go down to hell and stay and fry.

With Hitler slapping your ego and a-

Fran: Your so called masterpiece is a disgrace to all humanity.

From: Rebornluver93

To everyone: If you were to choose which Vongola ring you would have, which would it be? And it can't be your own ring.

Xanxus: BACK AWAY, FOUL TALL BEASTS! THE POWER OF ME COMPELLS YOU!

Bel: Nah, my ring is too hardcore to trade. But I’d like Levi to trade his for something else, since Lighting and Storm are supposed to be brothers, and he is not radd enough to be my brother.

Mammon: Duuuuude, maybe Cloud or something. Like, the Varia always needs me and don’t pay me extra, like, if I get Cloud, I probably don’t have to be doing missions all the time since we’re fine without a Cloud.

Lussuria: Sun sucks. I would get Rain and Cloud.

Squalo: -too busy on his RPG game-

Levi: I want the Rainbow Sunshine Glitter Ring!

From: Rebornluver93

To everyone: What is your favorite kind of food/drinks?

Xanxus: I HAVE A CHAINSAW NOW, YOU STUPID TALL PEOPLE!

Squalo: Potato chips.

Mammon: Lemonade is good. So is chocolate, bro.

Bel: Sushi.

Fran: Sushi needs to disappear from the face of this world. According to the calculations of a famous scientist, parasites from raw meat in sushi accumulate in one’s brain until they die.

Levi: I’m too pretty to have a favorite food.

Lussuria: I hate tacos.

From: Rebornluver93

To everyone: Isn't their a time when you didn't think about killing people and yourselves? A happy time or anything.

Xanxus: DEATH TO ALL TALL PEOPLE!

Fran: Exploring the world of dictionaries is a wonderful experience.

Squalo: RPG games are the win. –abusing his keyboard-

Bel: Going to sushi places are always good things. And so is going to hardcore band concerts. Mosh pits~

Mammon: Going for sessions, man. Can’t get any sicker than that.

Lussuria: I write poems. Bel, you know you want to hear another one.

Bel: No, no, I honestly don’t.

From: xwee

To everyone: Would you ever wear nail polish/varnish? And do you like
animals?

Fran: Belphegor already paints those toxins on his nails. And animals are not worthy of my attention.

Bel: -shows off his nails- Black is the new black! And neon places second. And animals are adorable, that’s why I’m a vegetarian.

Mammon: Duuuuude, Bel, have I ever told you that one time when I ran over a cat with my board? It made a gnarly sound, man. So not cool.

Bel: -smashes his head with Gloomy Bear doll-

Lussuria: Black, and only black.

Xanxus: SHORT ANIMALS ARE FRIENDLY!

Squalo: I wish I had a dragon like this one dude in this one game that I played this one day but abandoned because the noobs are taking over. Too many hackers too.

From: hp23

To Xanxus: Xanxus are you...A NOBODY FROM KINGDOM OF HEARTS?! You have the x’s in your name. Also, can I hug you? If not, then can I hug the life out of Fran? Also, if you weren’t in the Mafia where do you think you would be. Also can I be the new cloud guardian for Varia? Please, cause I love you like a older brother who should have been the tenth boss, and is epic and has awesome-sauce glory!

Xanxus: GAH! TALL PEOPLE! MUST DUCK AND COVER!

Fran: The man says he is not from a game considering the fact that he is actually an actor and alive and not a 2-demontinal pixel character. Such affections like hugging do not benefit me in any way, thus, you may not.

Bel: Frannnn~ You hug me all the time and you never complained.

Fran: No. You must be delusional, Belphegor. I would never lay my hands on someone like yourself.

Bel: -pouts- That’s not what you said last night.

Mammon: Bel…what-I, with-like, Fran? I-

Fran: Anyhow, back to the question. No, you cannot become the new Cloud guardian either, since you are a fan girl, and fan girls are not permitted to join the Varia, or any organizations or groups in a fandom very much beloved by other fan girls (and boys).

From: hp23

To Squalo: Are you that one dude from Final Fantasy XII? Also if I made you were a "Xanxus is my hommie" how you think he react. Also would you support peta if they were trying to save sharks, you know your box animal and everything?

Squalo: -looks up from his computer screen in shock- You knew my secret? You knew that I kept my hair long because I wanted to look like that dude from Final Fantasy XII and not because I’m oh-so-loyal to the boss? DAMN IT! –clutches his hair- My life has been a lie! Okay, second question, no, not really. I care more about my RPGs than sharks.

From: hp23

To Mammon: What can I get for a 1 dollar? Also do you do birthday party's along with Fran, and how do you feel about Fran? ARE YOU A NOBODY FROM KINGDOM OF HEARTS?! You got the robes.

Mammon: Dude, like, you can’t get anywhere in life with just a dollar. So, like, it’s the same with me. Come back in a few years when you’re like, rich. Yeah, man, of course I do birthday parties, but not together with Fran, that dude is annoying. No, I’m pretty sure none of the actors in Reborn are part of a game, we’re like, real.

From: xx xx

Bel: We all know that your name is Belphegor (Bel), but what's your
surname/last name?

Bel: Oh, of course, every hardcore person has to have a last name, it’s-

Fran: Now we interrupt you with the newest episode of Fran’s Documentary, the One Who Was Born in Franstreet, Franland!

Like every Fran in Franland, Fran of Franstreet Franland was taught to be a sarcastic asshole by his parents named Fran and Fran, who, surprisingly, are also sarcastic assholes.

But Fran of Franstreet, Franland, was a special sarcastic asshole in the sea of sarcastic assholes, because he knew how to be more of a sarcastic asshole than the rest of the sarcastic assholes of Franland. His favorite weapon is pickup lines. They’re so lame that they knock out his opponent almost instantly.

“Hey you, you look familiar, oh yeah! You look like my next girlfriend!”

“If I was an enzyme, I would be a restriction enzyme, so I can cut through your genes.”

“Coffee? No? Tea? Not that either? Me then? Ah, of course you would say yes.”

“Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Ah, no, I don’t actually want one, I just want to talk with you.”

“Hi, I’m Fran, and I’m running for president in Franland. I could really use your vote. Here, write down your phone number and I’ll call you to discuss about elections.”

“Do you speak Franglish? Really? Me too! We have so much in common!”

After making every girl Frans in Franland fall heads over heels over him with his cheesy pickup lines that he looked up on Fran, the search engine in Franland, he-

Lussuria: Fran. Phone. Now.

Fran: -picks up the phone- Hello? Oh, Mother Fran, I- What I am currently doing? No, I’m definitely not displaying my ego to my horrific companions in the Varia. Oh, I am deeply sorry. Did I say ‘Varia’? I meant Happy Sock Camp. Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know. Can you repeat the question? No, I will certainly not say it. NO. Do you fully understand the definition of ‘no’, you female specie? Okay, fine. I love my mommy and-

Bel: Okay, next question. You do not need to hear this.

From: xx

Bel & Fran: Do you or have you ever had a girlfriend?

Bel: Oh-em-gee, all the girls I’ve met are either obsessed with me, too dependent, tries to be cute and failing miserably, or just plain annoying. –throws Gloomy Bear in the air and catches it-

Fran: The reason why is because Belphegor is a homosexual, and will commit suicide when he is within a five foot radius of a woman.

Bel: -narrows his eyes, not that you can actually see it- You haven’t gone out with anyone either.

Fran: As you recalled from my documentary, as quoted, “After making every girl Frans in Franland fall heads over heels over him”-

Bel: All biographies lie.

From: xx xx

To Fran: Do you have any siblings?

Fran: Yes, and they are all named ‘Fran’.

Bel: Here is Fran kid’s diary. –opens it, despite the other’s very educated protests- It says that Fran kid used to have fourteen brothers and sisters, but their country had a famine and they ate them one by one.

Fran: You are reading my holy bible upside-down. We did not consume every single one, two died because of an uncalled for accident.

Bel: And I suppose that makes a big difference?

Fran: We could have had a meal for two more days.

From: xx

To Bel & Fran: What type of music are you into?

Bel: Techno, rock, indie, screamo, all which stuff.

Fran: Classical is the only form of music worth listening to.

From: Reborn_Addict

To Squalo: Why do you say 'VOI' all the time? Don't get me wrong, I think you're amazing but don't you think it's a little weird? I mean, I bet you've deafened more people than you've stabbed!

Bel: Squalo is too busy playing his lame game, so I’ll answer this one. There was a secret game stimulation of the Varia released a few years ago, but no one knows it because we’re so hardcore and kept it a secret. In that stimulation, Xanxus and Squalo are the parents, and Xanxus had gone deaf and kept saying ‘Whut?’ the whole time because he could not hear, since Squalo yells at him every single day.

From: Reborn_Addict

To Bel: What would happen if someone took all your knives away? Would you go into withdrawal?

Bel: -gloom- That actually happened before.

Squalo: -types on his keyboard- Yeah, this one time, Mammon was being crazy and sold all of Bel’s knives for money. Bel went into depression and stayed in his room for a whole week until Mammon bought back the knives at three times the price which he sold them for, so, Mammon got all pissed, and decided Bel was the source of evil. He attack Bel when Bel was least expecting it, and lowered his HP by three fourths, and then Bel fainted and-

Bel: Wrong! I did not faint!

Squalo: Oh, right. Bel had enough MP to restore health, like the cleric class in most games. And they played a game of rock, paper, scissors to settle their score. Bel won, so Mammon had no choice but to have a time out.

From: Kittie

To Mammon: Hey, Mammon! I found a GREAT way for you to earn money! Why don't you borrow the 10 year bazooka from Lambo, go 15 years, and work nights? Eh?? Brilliant, no? I think you should go with Bel and Squalo, because they look like girls, too. What do you think? Work nights!

Mammon: Duuuuude, as much as I appreciate you giving me ideas to get rich, I don’t work night hours, because that’s the time when the Varia is actually peaceful. ‘Go with Bel or Squalo’? As in date them? Eh, Squalo is like, too manly to look like a girl, unless you look at the back of his head and nothing else. And Bel, I’ve got competition if I try.

AN:

Ah, finally done. As you have noticed or have not noticed, I did not answer all of the questions sent, since it would take a long, long time for me to answer, especially the ‘to everyone’ questions. I have answered three or four questions for those who asked a lot, and I hope you are not angry with me for doing so. I would appreciate it if you only send three or four questions next time, and only one or two ‘to everyone’ questions per chapter, thank you for your support!

ALSO! Here is a bonus!

The first person to correctly guess what highschool stereotypes all the Varia members are (excluding Levi, because no one cares) gets a documentary about their favorite Varia member dedicated to them! HINT: Xanxus is NOT a midget, and Mammon is NOT a stoner. You may want to check the speech patterns of everyone in this chapter to confirm their stereotype!

Or, if you want to list one of the two song references hidden in this chapter, you may do that as well and get the same reward!

One guess per person for each category for each chapter! For example, you can guess the stereotypes and the song in one review today, and guess again tomorrow. But you cannot guess two stereotype guesses in the same day, and same thing with the songs.