Author's note: I'm back with a new story! I hope you're going to enjoy it because I'm definitely enjoying writing it. It might take me some time to update fast but I'll do my best. And if you like where this is going, please review! I'll even try to procrastinate and write this story. Basically, I need you guys to tell me you love me and my story, well, at least my story, hehe. ;)

Rated M for language so far. But also because our favourite couple is made to be hot and bothered the moment they're in hot water. Well, they always are in hot...water...

For those not familiar with my "work", I love puns, subtext and weird syntactic patterns. Therefore, it's not always easy to read, but I hope it won't prevent you from enjoying the story. It might need some heavy thinking on your part at times though. But I can't help it, it's the way I write and I couldn't do it any other way.

Spoilers for the begining of season 6 but it won't follow what's happening on the show, so technically, it's an AU.

Follow My Vox And Lock Us Up Sans Your Socks On.

Chapter 1: Fumbling For Mr. Normal.

“One, two, three, for, fire upon a tire was a horrid hospital administrator in a frantic urge to drive her sweet employee to madness.” House told his boss who had stormed in his office, almost breaking the glass door in the process.

“House better rhymes with Hamlet because I am pretty sure this way I would do you a favor in sending you back to Mayfield.” Cuddy shouted with reason as she approached him dangerously.

“Cool! Will you be my Ophelia? We could be roomies!” House expressed calmly.

“You really want my death, don’t you?” Cuddy sighed with exasperation.

“Actually, I haven’t read the play in a while so…”

“House, enough!”

Her sharp tone made what she considered a pseudo argument cease for the time being.

“Come on! You’re not mad. Besides, I have just distracted you with my offer to be the love of my crazy self.” House broke the silence. The man was still very much adamant.

“Have you noticed the tone in my voice?”

“Yes, you’ve just toned it down.” He said matter-of-factly, “However I prefer the shouting administrative tone from ten seconds ago. Way more passionate. I love it when you’re kicking and screaming…”

“I haven’t kicked you yet.” She softly said, eyebrow arched for fear her stern face would yield before his subtle smirk.

“Where, boss?” He grinned.

“You know where.” She regretted saying for the sexual comment would be next.

“It would be too hard for you, lady. Don’t get me wrong, it’ll hurt but it definitely won’t back down that easily.” He replied, appearing serious.

It was all in vain thought Cuddy. “Can we please stop talking about your stupid muscle for a second?”

“Hey, don’t call it stupid! He’s a smart fellow!”

“It is stupid for thinking it can get inside of me!” She fought over the matter, only one time too many. From the look House had given her, this discussion was either over or he was playing her. House looking hurt is a sight she has trouble witnessing. “House, I’m…” Her forgiving self tried to take over.

“No it’s okay, Cuddy. It got the message loud and clear.” He expressed, his body language, even his eyes now seemed deprived of whatever emotions he still had a minute ago.

“’There's rosemary, that's for remembrance; pray, love, remember: and there is pansies. That’s for thoughts.’ Cuddy quoted Shakespeare’s Ophelia, her previous words tugging at her like the plague. She would always fold at that fragile side of him.

“See, I knew you couldn’t be mean to me for more than five seconds.” He said, his attractive smile showing up at once. That damn smile was making Cuddy have some trouble thinking clear.

“I just don’t want you to think...” She practically stammered.

“What, Cuddy?” He pushed, feeling empowered all the sudden.

“That you don’t mean anything to me.” She admitted, trying to appear confident.

Only she didn’t appear that way to him. Her conflict was just as visible as his, except she was in a delicate situation. This was now the perfect time to deflect for the millionth time with that jerkiness he has always remained so proud of. Everything he would say, he would in the hope of feeling better.

“The difference between you and me Cuddy is that I have nothing to lose in this confrontation. You are a hot piece of ass, good for you. But to most men, that’s all you are. Go enjoy your life.” He remarked, harshly. He wondered what he was feeling better about.

Cuddy thought about it for a second and as she tilted her back, she asked “Are you one of those ‘most’ men?”

She had him and the question made him feel better. Not because he could admit that he considered himself as a different kind of man but because she had seen through his subtle comment.

“The fact that you consider yourself as such shows how little respect you have for yourself.” He grinned, thinking the usual banter would resurface.

“This is why you and I can’t work. You can’t act normal for once in your life.” She let out, frustration evident in her voice.

He hadn’t seen that coming. The seriousness of her tone bringing him back to one of the things he dreaded the most in his life: the definition of their relationship.

“And yet, you take part and reciprocate my act.” He remarked. His eyes suddenly focused on her very unstable ones.

“I want normalcy, House. “ She stated with an unconscious shrug.

House rose up from his chair and went around his desk. He had had enough of this smart ass talk about what Dr. Cuddy wants. He angrily limped towards her. “What you want is to get out of my office because if you don’t, you’ve got everything you believe in to lose.” Damn that woman, he thought. Would she ever give a damn about what he wants?

House stood only a few inches away from her. “Don’t ever kiss me again, House.”

“Don’t tempt me again, Cuddy. “ He shook his head no so subtly she thought he would dare close the distance once more that day.

“Go home. Think about your life and come back tomorrow just as miserable. ” She changed the subject in an attempt to rationalize everything, “But try to not make me miserable just because you are. Tomorrow, I want you to be a good boy and work for real.” She administrated with a patronizing tone, never once hoping it would work on him.

“You know I can’t do that.” He furrowed his brows almost playfully.

“But your next paycheck needs you to. How are you going to pay for your hookers?” She asked, definitely mocking him.

“They’re all in love with my genius. I get free health care.” He countered.

“If only your miserable self could act like a normal human being, so that I could thrive on that fact and just be happy...” She gave up, exacerbated by their non-extant communication.

“Sure and, let’s see who’s miserable after that.” He mumbled under his breath. She paid no attention to whatever he was saying.

“-without you being a fucking constant pain in my ass. And maybe, just maybe, you would realize you could be just as good a doctor as you have always been, minus the irascibility.” She continued, her trail of thoughts finally coming to an end. She took the long breath she had no idea her body and brain needed.

He examined her, his head tilted to the left. This simple movement shook her off in a wrong way and not really knowing why –except maybe for the fact that she felt she had made her point, she turned around and left his office.

Head tilt can help one appear to be either more trustworthy or more attractive. In House’s case, the attractive side isn’t something that should be taken lightly. And House knew she hadn’t.

“Once upon a time, Lisa Cuddy had wished upon a new kind of mess.” House said to himself, breaking with his trance.

(ps. Chapter 2 should be up within the next few hours.) So, you guys can start speculating. By the way, I so can't wait for monday!!