|Lay Your Hands
Author: OCDJen PM
The sequel to Healing Heart. This is set 5 years later, life has settled into a nice routine for the boys, they have plans for the future. What will happen when life, fate and heart ache get in the way? Rated M, AH,E&J. please read and review.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Edward & Jasper - Chapters: 25 - Words: 124,982 - Reviews: 769 - Favs: 236 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 12-07-09 - Published: 11-08-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5496891
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN/ This is the sequel to Healing Heart, you dont need to read that one first but it would give you a better idea of what has happened.
Thank you to my Beta for doing her thing, and letting me fill her inbox with idea's lol, thanks hun.
Right this is set 5 years after Healing Heart.
I hope you all enjoy this as much as you enjoyed Healing Heart.
"Daddy! Look, Uno on slide!"
I lifted my head up from the book I was reading to see Olivia sitting at the top of the slide; her little pink dress bunched up around her thighs, her bronze coloured hair hanging halfway down her back waving slightly around the edges. Her blue eyes shone at me with her dimples sitting proud in her checks as she smiled, and giggled. Bruno was at the top of the slide with her. I smiled as she pushed him down making her giggle loudly in the back garden.
"Olivia, be careful with Bruno." I warned her, she just laughed at me giving me the same look I had seen Edward pull so many times before when he wasn't listening to what I was saying.
"But he like daddy, he like." She replied as she slid down the slide before running round and making Bruno follow her. She had made our lives complete; she was perfect in every way shape and form.
She was now three years old, going on six. She had brought so much love and happiness in to our family, and the day she arrived I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"So shall we go through with it?" Edward asked me in bed one night. We had been looking in to having a child of our own, and we were looking at using a surrogate, and egg donor to make our dream come true. We wanted to have a child that was biologically one of ours, and we had slowly been putting wheels in to motion.
"Yes, we both want this and it feels right to do this now, so let's do it." He smiled widely and gave me a gentle kiss. The question was who was going to be his or hers biological father?
Of course we both wanted to be his or hers biological father and we had spoken about doing this twice so we both could have that, but who was going to go first? Toss a coin? Best out of three? Pick a name out of a hat? Draw straws? One of us was going to have to wake seeing their DNA in a little person, not that it mattered. The child would be loved by both of us and never looked upon as not theirs, it was just something we both wanted, we both wanted to leave something behind.
"Jasper." I looked to see him with his brow pulled together thinking hard over something.
"Babe, I want you to go first." I smiled at him, but he shook his head at me. I wanted him to go first, I wanted him to do this first. He was always doing things for me, and I hardly ever got the chance to return them so this was my way.
"No, Jasper....." I cut him off before he had a chance to finish.
"Edward, we both want this, we both want to have a child, and we said that we would walk this road twice so we both can have this. I want you to go first, please don't fight me on this." I smiled at him watching as his face filled with excitement before giving me a kiss.
A few weeks later we had found ourselves an egg donor who matched me looks wise, blonde hair, blue eyes, a similar in looks to what I had, (or so we were told). I was over the moon, knowing that our dream was on its way to becoming true. We found a surrogate that lived not too far from us, she had 'Cooked' as she called it, five or else six times for different couples, but we her first gay couple. She was excited to add this to her CV, we both laughed when she said this thinking she was taking the piss, but she wasn't.
"I'm not joking boys, if other gay couples see that I have been a surrogate for another gay couple they will feel more at ease with me." Claire was a wonderful woman, who did this not for money but to help others out to achieve their dream. She had a daughter of her own and a loving husband who thought the world of her for what she did.
"Okay.... how long do you have to wait?" I was standing next to Edward while he was on the phone to Claire; she had just taken her test and was on the phone to us waiting to tell us the news.
"Baby centre isn't my department Claire." He joked down the phone squeezing my hand. This was our second attempt through IVF. The first attempt had failed, the test showed negative; Edward was beside himself that night. He hadn't gotten so worked up this time round or so he said, but Edward had gotten all worked all over again. He just didn't show it this time, but I could see it, the little things he did when people spoke about babies gave him away. I couldn't wait to be a father, but at the same time I was keeping a lid on it until we heard the positive news.
"What? Are you sure.......? Send me a picture, I want to see it to believe it." He said down the phone smiling widely at me as he hung up.
"Two lines!" He whispered to me as he sat down staring at his phone waiting for the picture message to come through.
"Are we...." His phone beeped loudly in the living room, his hands shook as he opened the message to see two pink lines on the test. Tears ran down my face, we were having a baby. We were going to be daddies.
The next nine months consisted of trips to see Claire all the time as she grew, appointments for scans kitting out the baby's room, and picking names. We never wanted to find out what our baby was going to be but the midwife let it slip, calling our baby a her.
Edward had gone in to some sort of protective mode, he had become obsessed with making sure that everything was safe for when the baby arrived and when Claire was closing in on her due date he was calling her every day to make sure she was fine and eating well. He started to act like he thought she didn't know what she was doing, but Edward was just worrying. Put a wedding in front of him and he is calm until the day, put a baby there and he is a wreck from start to finish.
Claire had agreed to have the baby at the hospital where Edward worked at. It was further away for her to get to, but she had seen Edward freaking out; and it helped put his mind at rest if it was there, with people he knew and trusted in the medical field. The call arrived one Sunday morning at 6.47 am. Edward had been back in the house for less than half an hour after being on a night shift. He changed in seconds and we were on our way to see our baby being born.
The midwife knew Edward, as did the nurses. They all knew that this was our baby and were so supportive. The midwife had been cornered more than once by Edward asking her endless questions about the baby.
At seven minutes past two in the afternoon, Olivia Grace Cullen entered the world.
It was the most beautiful and disgusting thing I have ever seen. After watching it I now have the utmost respect for women, because that shit looked beyond painful. We cried as we heard her cry for the first time, Edward cut the cord and I held her first. Her head was already covered in the same bronze tone that Edward has, her face perfect, she was stunning. I cried for hours happily as I held her close to me feeling her tiny fingers grip my hair, or her little noises she made now and then made my heart soar.
Claire had been fantastic and had offered to let us use her again in the future. We had a photo taken with her and her husband with Olivia and both of us just hours after she was born, the idea was to let Olivia know who helped bring her in to this world.
The day we brought her home was both scary and exciting, we watched her for ages sleeping in her crib.
"Is she okay?" I whispered to Edward, this was so new to me, to us. I had no idea what we were meant to do with a baby.
"She's fine, Angel, just sleeping. When do you think she will wake up?" He asked. I just shrugged, they didn't come with a manual telling you these things.
We both took time off for her first few months. Edward took two months off, whereas I took a year off. Edward earned more money so it made sense for him to go back. He cried the day he had to go back not wanting to leave either of us, not wanting to miss anything that Olivia did. He had stopped working nights so he could be home more with us and had cut down his hours as well. Our life was filled with dirty nappies, bottle feeding, sleepless nights, and baby sick. Olivia was the sole attention of our world.
The day she spoke her first word I was out. I had to nip in to town to pick a few things up and Edward had her.
"Jasper, she spoke!" He cried down the phone as I was getting out of the car.
"What did she say?" I was gutted that I had missed it, but thrilled that Edward hadn't. Her first step he missed because he was working.
"Uno, she said Uno. Hang on." I heard him flick the button on to speaker phone. "Olivia who's that?" I could almost see him pointing at the dog.
"Uno." I heard her high pitched angelic voice down the phone. The tears started, hearing her talk for the first time was better than hearing her first cry.
"I'm coming back." I turned round and headed back to our daughter. I wanted to share in this and see if she could say anymore.
Watching her play on the slide it felt like she had always been in our life, she had filled so many space's in our lives, made us complete and if it was possible brought me and Edward closer together. She had a love of the hospital. Whenever she saw grandpa Carlisle, she would make him tell her all about the heart operations he had performed, she wanted details. If we picked Edward up from work we had to go in, she wanted to see where daddy worked, she wanted to learn it. Edward laughed saying third generation doctor, the way she was heading I wouldn't be surprised if she followed Edward in to the medical world. We took her to the history museum which she loved, finding it all highly interesting. She might not be biologically mine but she was sure as hell picking up my traits.
"Yo Bean." I was brought out of my thoughts of the past by Emmett. He wandered through the garden towards me as Olivia waved madly at him.
"Unle Em." She called out but didn't move from her spot, she wouldn't move now until Edward returned.
"How's Rose?" I asked him as he pulled the chair out and sat down. Emmett and Rose had married a year after Olivia was born and had her as a flower girl. Rose was now excepting their first baby.
"Dude, I'm glad to get away, the hormones are killing me. One minute she wants sex and lots of it, the next she can't fucking stand me, thank heavens she only has three months to go." He smirked, he was excited as anything about becoming a father. He loved Olivia like there was no tomorrow and spent hours playing with her. "So how long you guys going to be?" I half smiled at him.
"We shouldn't be too long, only about an hour or so." I picked up my bottle of water and took a big gulp.
"So where you two off to?" He asked while popping a sweet in his mouth.
"Mine, Unle Em." Olivia called out as she watched Emmett fill his face with her sweets.
"I know, Bean. They're great. I might just eat them all myself." He joked pretending to put them all in his mouth.
"Nooo, Ulce Emm." She cried out, he chuckled at her. He got up and walked over to her, bag of sweets in hand. He stood in front of her and she wrapped her little arms around his neck. Thank you, Olivia.
"You know I wouldn't eat them Bean, your daddies would kill me." She giggles loudly. "How about we go through the freezer once they're gone?" He asked her.
"Yey! Ice cream and bits." She screamed out, bouncing around in front of him.
"Don't give her too much, Em. She won't eat her dinner otherwise." Olivia crossed her arms and pouted at me. Emmett whispered in her ear making her giggle. "Just wait until yours arrives." I threatened. His booming laugh filled the garden.
"Daddy!" Olivia cried out sliding down the slide and running towards Edward who was just coming through the patio doors. He picked her up and wrapped his arms around her and smiling brightly at her gave her a kiss.
"Hello princess, have you been a good girl?" He asked her, she nodded. "And what have you been doing today?"
"Uno on slide, he went down." The excitement in her eyes matching Edward's when he got excited over something. "It was fun, me and Unle Emm havin' ice cream."
"Are you? And who's to say we have any?" He asked her raising his eyebrow at her.
"We have, I seen it." Edward laughed and placed her down on the floor. "Daddy in cubs." She beamed at him running off back towards Emmett. Edward wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"How are you, angel?" He kissed my neck and I smiled and shrugged, the thought of this afternoon was looming in my head.
"I'm okay, missed you though." I turned my head and gave him a kiss. In the five years that we had been married I had fallen more in love him with each passing day.
"I missed you too, give me a minute to get changed and we'll go, okay?" I nodded my head as he let me go and walked off upstairs.
I watched Olivia play with Emmett, watching as she climbed all over him trying to pin him down on the grass. Emmett threw her off with ease, she kept coming back until he caved and let her pin him. Edward appeared again changed in fresh clothes ready to go. I waved to Olivia and took hold of Edward's hand as we walked towards the car.
"Don't worry, Angel, everything will be okay." He whispered giving me a kiss before I got in. I felt uneasy, I hadn't told Edward just how uneasy I felt. I didn't want to freak him out any more than I already was.
"Yeah, I'm sure you're right." I smiled at him trying to hide just how nervous I was, but I didn't fool him. He could see through every act I put on, he knew me better then I knew myself. He could pick my mood up from just how I stood. "I'm sorry." I mumbled.
"What for? Jasper, what have you got to say sorry for?" Fingers gently looped in mine as we drove down the road, my eyes were already watering, the sobs soon started. Edward pulled over on the side of the road while I cried.
"Jasper, Angel, tell me what's on your mind." I wanted to, I really did, but how could I tell him? How could I actually unwrap what I was feeling to tell him what was going on inside my head?
"I'm sorry, so sorry." I whimpered out. Edward lent across to me and pulled me in to his arms while I gently sobbed until I stopped.
"Angel, you can talk to me, you can tell me your fears." He whispered to me. I knew I could and I had tried to, but I couldn't right now; not while I didn't know what was going on. I could be freaking over nothing, or I could be freaking over something worse.
"I know. When we get out I'll give you the full insight on what has been going on up there, okay?" He simply nodded at me giving me a gentle kiss.
My mind was filling with thoughts of Olivia, all her little milestones running through my mind, her first step, her first word, and the first time she stood on her own. I smiled as I thought about how we thought of her name.
Claire was eight months pregnant, we had been throwing names around since we had found out it was a girl, nothing seemed to fit. Some were okay, but nothing that said 'yeah, that's it'.
We were curled up together watching Grease, going through names.
"Sarah?" I asked.
"No, don't like. Emma?"
"Umm maybe, Elizabeth?"
"No way, it's my grandmother's name. Louise?"
"Don't like it." I sighed. This was getting past a joke, our nights seemed to be full of this, picking names, happy for a minute then changing our mind.
My head was pressed against Edward's chest, I tried to picture our daughter so many times, but failed each and every time I tried. I worried about how she would feel having two daddies. When she got older and understood that her parents are different to her friends, would she be embarrassed by us, not wanting to bring her friends around to the house because she didn't have a mummy. I didn't care what other people thought of us, but it would kill me if our daughter hated us, if she felt embarrassed to be seen with us.
"Edward what if she doesn't like us?" I asked. I heard him chuckle, he gently kissed the top of my head.
"Why would she hate us?" He asked. I shrugged not wanting to say, surely he knew what I was thinking, surely he had thought this too. "Is it because we're gay?" He whispered in my ear.
"Well she might hate us once she understands that her parents are different." I whined out, I was scared shitless she might freak out.
"Jasper, she will have a loving family around her and when she is old enough and she asks questions we'll answer them. Stop worrying." He kissed the top of my head.
"What if she gets picked on because of it?" I then started to worry about her going to school, Edward laughed.
"Jasper, she won't be the only child that has the same sex parents, and if that happens we will deal with it when the time comes. Jasper, please stop worrying about things that are miles away, she hasn't even arrived yet." I smiled, true she wasn't and yet I was worrying about things ten years down the line.
"Olivia." I whispered.
"What?" He asked. I thought about it a little more, the more I thought the more I liked it.
"Olivia Grace Cullen. What do you think?" I turned my head to him slightly watching as he smiled at me giving me a gentle kiss.
"I love it, we can tell her she was named after Olivia Newton John."
I worried back then over how she would handle having two daddies but my worries never came about. She had noticed that out of all our friends we were the only couple that are both boys, she had never battered an eyelid to it, I hoped it continued that way.
God, what if ...... No, I cant think like that. I can't think about those sort of thoughts, I don't even know what I'm dealing with here, it could be nothing as I said before. Then again... I looked at Edward, I could see the torture he was trying so hard to hide from me. He was worried about this as much as me, even more so, but neither one of us had spoken about the what ifs.
No one knew where we were going today, I hadn't breathed a word to anyone neither had Edward. Emmett had no idea what we were doing, I guessed he thought we were planning something for our wedding anniversary, which was only two weeks away. Two weeks and it would be six years, six blissful years. Why is this happening to me, to us? I hadn't even thought about what we could do. Last year we went away for a week, Olivia stayed at Edward's parents for the week while we disappeared for a week of pure heaven between the two of us. Our passion hadn't gone, it was still as strong as it ever was, but with having Olivia now our alone time became less.
We had date nights where we would ship Olivia off to my parents for the night, giving us the chance to have a night alone; with no reading bedtime stories or fighting over bath time, or bed time, just me and him together, alone, no little feet interrupting at the worst time. Olivia loved it, she thought it was great to go and stay there, it was every child's dream. They let her have all the fizzy pop and sugared sweets she could muster, they bought her pizza and ice cream, and she could watch what she wanted, that was her treat.
I played with the band around my finger, something I had started to do when I was worried or deep in thought. It seemed to help me focus more when I could fiddle with something, it drove Edward nuts. I could see him out the corner of my eye looking over every now and then, frowning.
"What did you and Olivia do today? Other than push Bruno down the slide?" He smirked at me.
"We baked." Edward laughed. Yeah, the baking things wasn't going well. I could cook, but ask me to make a cake and it tasted like shit. Olivia seemed to enjoy licking the bowl though. Edward seemed to have mastered the whole bake a cake thing with ease. Bastard.
"Let me guess, it didn't rise and it tasted like crap?" I nodded making him laugh again and shake his head.
"How did you achieve the whole baking thing? Olivia seems to think that I fuck up on purpose." He smirked at me and tapped his head. "Spill, if you know something then I want to know." He smiled at me and tapped his head again.
"Jasper, she is three, she has no idea if the ingredients have come out of a packet or not." He smirked again. I thought about it for a minute, he had been cheating.
"You cheat." He laughed again. "She thinks you're brilliant at it and all the time you're cheating." I was pissed that I didn't think about buying a packet mix and passing it off as my own, she wouldn't know the difference.
"It's not cheating. Going and buying a cake that's fully made is cheating, this is just helping. The trick is to not let her see the box. Empty out all the ingredients before you start and say you have done the boring bit. Mix it together and bingo, a nice baked cake and she is over the moon." He smiled thinking his master plan was brilliant. It was, I can't believe I hadn't thought of it.
I was glad of our little chat about how we fooled our daughter, it took my mind off what was happening, but all too soon we pulled up. Edward cut the engine. My heart was beating wildly in my chest as I looked up at the building. It had never bothered me, I had been here thousands of times for one thing or another. I walked in to this very building, sometimes having a crying little girl in tow.
"Jasper, come on, it's fine. There is nothing to worry about." Yeah, if there was nothing to worry about then why are you using your doctor tone on me? That fake calming tone they use to reassure people, those people thought it was the real deal, but I knew different. Edward's actually calming tone was warmer, more full of love and care. His doctor tone was a little colder, kind of robotic, there was love and care there, but it didn't have a patch on his normal one.
I shot him a look, he just shrugged. He knew I knew his tone was off, but he wouldn't admit it and neither would I. I guess I felt better having the fake calming tone then none at all.
He kissed me gently and took hold of my hand. We walked slowly to our point of call, and I was dragging my feet trying to put it off. Trying to delay what I had to face. I knew I could drag my feet all day long, but it would never take away what I had to do. There was no stopping what was coming, I had to man up but the truth was, I was scared.
Edward squeezed my hand tightly as we walked through the building and up to the floor we needed. We arrived at the reception, I heard Edward talk to the woman, even make idle chit chat while we waited. She gave a nod and walked towards the door.
"It's okay." He whispered giving me a kiss on the cheek before opening the door and walking in. The room was full of books; I could see the man's pictures of his wife, his family, children, and grandchildren. The large dark wood desk making his look important. He shook our hands.
"Dr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen please have a seat."
So what do you all think of the first chapter then?
Hehe im leaving you all guessing, aren't i mean?
Anyway please hit the review button and tell me what you think of it, thank you, Jen :)