|Somewhere In Between
Author: Kassiah PM
A tragic accident separated Edward and Bella, forcing them down paths they never envisioned. What happens when they find themselves torn between having what they always wanted and honoring commitments made? AH, Rated M for language & lemonsRated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Romance - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 22 - Words: 105,091 - Reviews: 2,333 - Favs: 1,712 - Follows: 1,412 - Updated: 04-08-11 - Published: 11-08-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5498012
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Thanks for reading Somewhere In Between. With few exceptions, I have removed the author's notes on the FFn version since the story is complete. Chapter notes will remain on my personal website, www (dot) kassiah (dot) com. There is also a whole bunch of other information there, including pictures, songs, and lyrics. I can't thank my lovely beta, nicnicd, enough. She went above and beyond the call of duty for me with every single chapter. Thank you for everything. Massive appreciation to TwiSherry, MsKathy, Kherisma, the SIB preview team who bought me in FGB, Saranic, and to everyone who supported me throughout this tale. All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No infringement is intended.
Chapter One: Words Aren't Always What We Mean to Say
"Oh…Oh my god…"
The dim moonlight streamed through the gauzy curtains illuminating the flash of toned, pale skin moving over my body. Candlelight burned low, casting shadows around the room. The scent of the blood red roses combined with the heady sandalwood candle enveloped my senses, comforting me in ways that were only acknowledged silently, never aloud…
"That's right sweetheart," he murmured. My entire body trembled beneath him as he brushed his lips softly along the delicate patch beneath my ear, stopping there briefly before kissing a tantalizing trail down to my shoulder. Lightly grazing my skin with his teeth, he continued downward, humming in content.
Sensitive skin pebbled as he rubbed the pad of his finger across my nipple, rolling it between his index finger and thumb. Warm hands trailed from my breasts, ghosting along my side before gently grasping my hip. Placing my hands on his broad shoulders, I reveled in the feel of his slick skin against mine.
My hair spread out over the pillows in disarray as my head bowed back. Losing myself in his tempting caress, my senses gave over to the pleasure he promised with his touch.
Swirling his finger around my navel as he kissed and licked down my arm, he paused to nip slightly at my elbow before continuing his wicked path down my body. Fingertips traced slowly across my abdomen from hip to hip. Kissing my palm when he reached the end of his trail, he spun my ring around my finger before switching direction.
Lifting his head to my chest and placing his lips against my collarbone, he whispered into my skin and held me closer to him. The pressure of his touch increased as he slowly lifted me, pulling me closer to allow himself better access.
Warm breath fanned across my skin as he began to move down again, teasing. Palming and languidly caressing the length of my body. Lightly stroking the underside of my breasts. Warm blasts of air tickling gently across my ribs before full lips continued their assault down my side toward my hip as he moved lower. My nails dug into his neck when he brought his hand to the back of my thigh, massaging the responsive skin for a moment before pulling my leg over his shoulder and nudging my other leg wider.
The slight stubble from his chin rubbed against my inner thigh, heightening the sensations and sending waves of desire coursing throughout my body. The familiar coil tightened deep inside me as he flattened his tongue against me, driving me towards climax.
Mouth moving torturously slow, his deep, throaty moan sent shock waves through me and I cried out, surprising myself at the vocal acknowledgment of my immense pleasure.
A rarity… but welcomed by him nonetheless. I felt his lips move against me, smiling.
"My god," I moaned, feeling out of breath and as if the room was spinning slightly off-kilter. I was teetering on the verge of something that I hadn't experienced in so long.
Unhurriedly circling his tongue, drawing the pleasure out to an excruciating degree, his almost silent moans vibrated throughout my entire body. My thighs clenched tighter around his head as warm hands and a teasing touch brought me closer to the edge.
"Yes, please, don't stop." My hands lingered briefly over his before crawling up my own body and tangling into my hair. He was buried between my legs, and fuck…it felt so good. No doubt aware that I was perched precariously on the cusp of ecstasy, he increased his pace. I was so close.
But my body knew something wasn't right…
This wasn't the same; it wasn't him.
Stop thinking about that right now, Bella. Focus on what he's doing to you. How he makes your body feel. Oh god, that feels so fucking amazing. Just a little bit…oh…
He was swirling his tongue and oh… god, he was curling his fingers in just the right spot. My body started to quiver, my already ragged breaths turning into long moans—I felt like I was about to come undone.
"Fuck, you taste so sweet…" Nuzzling into me, his breath blew hot over me, eliciting a low moan. "You're so close. Just let go, Bella."
Circling his thumb around my clit, he plunged his tongue deep inside me. He was right; I was close. Closer to real ecstasy than any previous time before, with him.
Something held me back—unable to let go, though I tried.
Trembling as he lifted my hips higher and paused to nip teasingly at my inner thighs, I let out a frustrated sound. His tongue soothed the place his teeth had just been before returning to lick and suck at the spot he knew I liked. He tried so hard, always, to please me.
Get over it, Bella. Focus…
Eyes clamping shut, perspiration beading on my brow, moans–his and mine intermingling to form a sensual beat–weaving around the room as he alternated sliding his fingers agonizingly slow inside of me, then faster. It all felt so good. I can do this…
Teeth grazed my sensitive clit and I instinctively arched my back, moaning. I was on the brink, precariously teetering on the edge. His moans seemed distant and continuously sent small, delightful tremors dancing through my body. Reaching down, I began to run my hand through his hair.
Then I shut down.
This was wrong.
His hair was too short, too spiky, too… something.
Not soft and silky and thick and everything that I needed to feel in that moment. Not the same. Never the same… Panic flooded through me, the swift realization that I was going to have to fake it–again–hitting me.
Tensing my muscles purposefully on his fingers as he continued touching me, begging me to come with his voice and his actions, I began the routine.
Mimicking an embellished whimper that sounded false even to my own ears, highly doubting that he would buy it, I began to move my body in time with his gentle touches instead.
Not slowing his movements, he began to plead, "Please, Bella, come…I love you, I just want to make you feel..."
Letting out an exaggerated, breathy moan, breathing in deeply as I attempted to center myself, I was suddenly assaulted with his scent–cloying, strong, overpowering. Not the one I craved. The dual sensation of smell and sound pulled me back. Moaning again, the sound of my voice seemed so foreign to me.
He continued to swirl his tongue furiously over me, my body beginning to shake as my earlier desire miraculously started to strengthen again. Maybe I wouldn't have to fake this–maybe I could feel the complete and maddening rush of pleasure right now, with him. Focus Bella, he loves you, he wants you... Humming out another moan against me, causing my body to arch into him, his tongue delved deeper, propelling me further.
Opening my eyes just a sliver and glancing over to the dresser, I avoided looking into his piercing eyes. Instead, my gaze automatically snapped toward the image in the silver frame, immediately picking it out: a flash of green. The memory was enough to send me over the edge, the constant reminder of another green, a deeper green. My eyes closed and I was engulfed, the feeling of being tossed headlong into a pool with waters of the deepest emerald causing my body to stiffen.
Harder and more intensely than ever before with him, I came. The smarter part of my brain screamed at me to keep my mouth shut, the reckless side of me paying it no mind. Struggling to quiet myself, taking deep, gasping breaths in an effort to steady myself and stop from crying out, I moaned long and low, the immensely enticing memory proving to be too much in the end.
"Oh god, y-y-yes, don't stop, please, E-Ed- oh! Don't stop..."
Head snapping up, eyes fierce as stared back at me, a look of hurt and anger twisted his normally handsome features into something scary and unknown.
He'd heard me.
Snatching me up into a sitting position, pressing his hands roughly into my upper arms, his trembling body caused mine to shake along with it slightly. The rage was coming off of him in waves, his voice menacing and low as he rasped, "What? What did you say?"
Knowing that I needed to calm him, my mind raced frantically, seeking some course of action to set this right. He would be hurt, justly so. Eyebrows pulled tightly together, nostrils flaring as quick, angry breaths puffed out of his scrunched face, he stared at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.
Staring directly into his eyes, my repentant voice was a low murmur when I gathered my wits enough to address him. "Don't…stop? Please, b-baby, I want this. I need you." Pawing at him, I tried to pull him closer to me. His grip on my arms loosened and I took the opportunity to straddle his lap.
Clutching his face between my hands, I pressed my lips to his, the taste of myself on them spurring me on. Peppering kisses all over his face and massaging his neck in an effort to get him to unclench and relax, I tried to coax him back to me. I needed him to understand that I wanted to want this.
Using my lips to try and force his mouth open, I swept my tongue across his bottom lip and sucked on it for a moment before purposefully kissing him and grinding on him. "I know you love me, please," I murmured to him. "I want you."
He groaned, as if he were battling with himself, his resolve wavering but not giving in.
"Please, you feel so good. You make me feel so, so good. Please, don't stop," I coaxed, desperate.
Pressing on his shoulders, trying to get him to lie back, I rolled my hips down arduously on his cock. Kissing and tasting my way down his neck, I tried to show him that I did want this. Even as he grew impossibly harder beneath me, I knew that I wasn't completely convincing him. Fuck, I wasn't even convincing myself.
For a moment, though, I thought he was going to give in. He seemed to melt into my touch as I sucked delicately on his collarbone and along the base of his throat. Gently nipping his neck, I brushed open-mouth kisses up the tender skin there and to his jaw. Wrapping his arms around my back, he drew in deep, ragged breaths as I hungrily pressed my lips underneath his chin and flicked my tongue out lightly to taste his still dampened flesh.
Trailing his fingers along my spine and over my shoulders, he kissed up the column of my neck angling his head to whisper into my ear. "Tell me, Bella. Tell me you want me."
Turning my face, I pressed my lips to his. My hands traced over the tight planes of his perfect muscles. Ghosting over his pectorals and gliding down his abs, I sought refuge in the feel of his skin. Finally, he deepened the kiss and pulled me closer to him, threading one hand into the hair at the nape of my neck. Practically growling as he kissed me more frantically, his free hand pressed into my hip and guided my movements over him.
Relishing in the rough texture of his jaw as I continued to stroke his face and run my hands up and down his chest, I melted into him. The instant my fingers touched the top of his boxers, his hands wrapped around my wrists, abruptly stopping me.
Again, he grabbed me by my upper arms and held me out at arm's length so he could look into my eyes. Reaching out to touch his face again and biting my lip, I winced slightly at the dull pain of his fingers digging into my skin. He jerked his face away from my touch as he studied me intently, his menacing glare never dissipating.
For the briefest moment, I was afraid. Afraid that I had pushed him too far that time; that I had hurt him deeper than he was willing to accept. He shoved me down on the bed as tears started to stream down my face.
"Goddamn it, Bella. I'm not fucking doing this with you anymore." He grabbed his jeans from the floor and pulled them roughly up his legs.
Not even glancing back at me as he strode angrily toward the door, he called back over his shoulder in a taunting, cold voice. "He left you. He isn't coming back to you. And if you don't fucking stop what you've been doing, you're going to end up losing everything and everyone you love. Get it through your head, Bella," he continued, intent on letting me have it. "Edward is not coming back to you. Ever."