Cat Class

Disclaimer – I own nothing. Like duh.

A/N: I just thought Addie having a cat was the funniest thing ever. Hope you like this! Also thanks McMuffin for Betaing :D

Addison sat at the vet’s office, leaning away from the drooling Basset Hound, but trying not to get within the licking range of the excited Spaniel puppy. She checked her watch for about the hundredth time and glared at the attendant. Some dog had bitten some guy and there was a fuss at the doctor’s office and this pretty much held up everyone else. She was fifth on the list! Why the hell couldn’t they just stitch him up, give him a tetanus shot and send him home? Jeez! She almost wanted to offer her services just so that she could get out of that place and go home and have a bath! She wished she knew how to check Milo, she’d have done it herself. Maybe she should have asked Sam. He had a dog. He would know right?

The two men and the dog came out of the doctor’s office looking grumpy, but otherwise pacified. The poor dog had a muzzle on it. They walked out and the big horse like dog, that was apparently called a Great Dane according to her very helpful neighbour, went in. About an hour later, the drooling Basset Hound, called Drool, for lack of a better imagination went in. It was finally Addie’s turn next. She made sure she had all the papers in a file and the vet book. When she was told that she could go in, she got up, picked up her Louis Vuitton cat carrier and went in. It occurred to her that it was quite light, but only after unzipping it did she realise it was empty!

“What the hell? Where is it? The cat. I had it in my car! It wouldn’t stop yowling!” She turned round and round looking for Milo frantically and even got down on all fours to look under the exam table.

“Um, Dr. Montgomery, it’s on the top shelf of the waiting room. It seems to have escaped. Don’t worry, Jason will bring it down.”

“How did it get out?” She said in a huff after the doctor helped her up. It didn’t help that she was wearing a pencil skirt and high heels. It suddenly reminded her of the Sandra Bullock scene in ‘The Proposal’.

“Did you zip up both sides?” The doctor asked with an amused smile on his face.

“There are two sides? Oh. My. God. There is no way I can do this!” Addison flapped her hands about almost slapping the poor doctor.

“Dr. Montgomery, how did you come about taking care of this cat?” He asked after skilfully ducking her waving hands.

“My patient died and left him to me. Only, I have no clue how to take care of him!”

“It’s a he? Does he have a name?” The doctor wanted to get the basic facts straight at least.

“Oh yeah. Milo.”

Jason brought the cat over and the vet examined him thoroughly. He was in good shape. He checked all the records, filed his nails, checked his teeth and eyes. He put Milo back into the cat carrier, zipped both sides, grinning at Addison and handed her the bag. He looked at her and handed her a leaflet.

“A pet class?” Addison looked appalled at the idea.

“Yes Dr. Montgomery. It’s a class for people who’ve inherited pets, like you, adopted them or are pet sitting for an extended period of time. It’s a class where you are taught about what it means to have a pet and how to take care of it- how to bond with it. I think you should attend some sessions.”

“Thanks for the info. I’ll think about it.” She ran out of there as soon as she could, almost forgetting Milo even.

****

Addison sat at her desk and breathed a sigh of relief. Her crazy day with Siamese twins was done! Finally they had been separated and they both had lived. She started putting all the papers on her desk into a file to deal with later when she came across the pamphlet the vet had given her that morning. She looked at it and raised an eyebrow at it sceptically. She leaned and looked at Milo who was on the couch.

“You think I should go to this?”

“Talking to your cat Addison? The first sign of an old spinster.” Sam walked in smirking.

“Oh god! Sam! Do you think you could knock next time? And shut up.” Addison still had her hand on her heart and she tried to calm it down.

She handed Sam the pamphlet and asked him if he thought it was a good idea.

“I don’t know Addison. Why don’t you call them and maybe go for one class. If you like it, you can continue, or otherwise you can always quit.” He shrugged his shoulder.

“Yeah. Yeah! It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. I can try this out. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t have to!”

She picked up the phone and found out that the next class was on Saturday and that you could bring your pet also. She made the note in her planner and grinned at Sam. He put Milo in the carrier and beckoned for Addison to join him.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Let’s go home.”

****

“Sam? Hello? Sam?” Addison paced up and down across her couch, cringing everytime it caught her eye.

“Addison! It’s 6am. On a Saturday. What are you doing up? And why are you waking me up?”

“Sam I don’t think I can do it. What if I fail?” she flapped her arms again and almost knocked her glasses off.

“Addison. You are a brilliant surgeon! The baby has a very good chance of surviving. Relax.”

“SAM! I am not talking about that! Of course the baby’s going to be fine. I’m a brilliant surgeon. I’m talking about me and Milo. Cat class. Remember?” She sat on the couch hard and immediately got up when she saw flecks of orange from the corner of her eye.

“Oh yeah, yeah. That. Addison. For heaven’s sake. The class is at 5pm! Why are you calling me at 6am?”

“Because I’m scared. And you have a small dog. Who for some reason you love and loves you. I want that with Milo. And I don’t think I can do it. It covered my couch with orange hair! Orange Sam!” She gestured wildly to the couch and made a throw up face.

“Okay. First, it’s fur, not hair. And will you relax? It’s a pet class. Nothing is going to happen and the people there will be as clueless as you are, or even worse!”

“Thanks Sam. You were no help at all. I have to go now.” She glared at the wall, clearly picturing Sam there.

“Addison. You can do this.”

“Of course I can. I got books! Lots and lots of pet care for dummies books. Now I need to study. Goodbye.”

Addison hung up the phone in a huff and settled down on the couch and opened a big book called “Cats”. She was totally going to rock this class!

****

Addison sat on her porch. Her hair was mussed and not in a sexy way. Her hand had band-aids on them, and they were multi coloured. Her clothes were muddy and she sat looking broodingly into the ocean. She had a glass of red wine next to her. She jumped a little when she heard Sam come up behind her.

“Oh my God! Addison! What happened?”

“Oh. Nothing. I was attacked. That’s all.” She said nonchalantly.

Sam put Milo, who he found on his couch after the cat had wandered over, in his carrier for the time being and went and sat next to her wincing when he saw her up close.

“Did you file a report? With the police? If you are scared, I can do it.” Sam said with his call phone in his hand.

“Huh? No you misunderstood me. I was attacked by a stupid yellow hairy dog! A shiny, yellow hairy dog they called Fluffy. A retriever I believe was its breed. That took care of my hair and face. A muddy Cocker Spaniel did in my clothes, and my arms? My colourful arms were presents from my own cat! It! Him. Spawn of satan! He did this to me. Actually, you did this to me.”

“Me? How did I do this to you?”

“Oh you must try it out Addison. It’s just a pet class. It’s a class for future serial killer animals!”

“Oh you poor thing. I’m so sorry! Can I get you something? Make it up to you?”

“When I’m looking fabulous again, I want to go to Orso for lunch. And you will take me.”

“Done! Can I get you something to eat?”

“No…. Sam. How the hell am I going to do this? This requires serious commitment. Like orange-haired-couch kind of commitment.”

“Addison. You are strong. If I can have a tiny dog, you can have a cat.”

“Yeah. Come on. Lets go inside. Why are you here anyway?”

“Milo was on my couch.”

“Oh God!”

“Relax. Take a deep breath.”

****

“Hey Addison?”

“Hey Charlotte! What’s up?”

“Well, I have this doctor at St. Ambrose who is absolutely yummy! Interested?’

“No can do Charlotte. I’m in a orange-haired-couch kinda relationship right now. Thanks for the offer though!”

Addison walked into her office smiling that Monday morning.