"Mentalward" Contest

Pen Name: Adair7
Title: Bring You Back
Summary: With long, slender fingers, he rubbed absent-mindedly at the bracelets on his wrist – one with his name and medical information typed in half-faded blue ink, the other stating his allergy to penicillin and another medication he couldn't pronounce... e/b
Word Count: 15,018

Thank you to betas Unicornhime and Amethyst Jackson.

Edward carefully folded his pajamas, placing the soft flannel squares into his worn, black backpack. The sterile smell of the room still offended him, even after the weeks he'd spent there. He'd nearly stopped venturing outside because the scent of the hospital was so overwhelmingly depressing whenever he was forced to return to the confines of his room. How Carlisle could stand it, day in and day out, was beyond his comprehension. Maybe things were different if you were the doctor instead of the patient.

With long, slender fingers, he rubbed absent-mindedly at the bracelets on his wrist – one with his name and medical information typed in half-faded blue ink, the other stating his allergy to penicillin and another medication he couldn't pronounce. He tugged at them, wanting them off as soon as possible, but the motions did nothing but make his arm red.

Soon they'll be off, he told himself. Carlisle and Emmett will be here in an hour and everything will go back to normal.

This would be the last time he would stay in this room, with its thickly screened window and sparse furniture. Edward scoffed to himself at the idea of furniture – a bed with scratchy cotton blankets and a chair for visitors. Everything was white and grey – colours meant to be soothing in nature, but depressing in reality.

He continued packing, carefully making sure the few possessions he had were carefully stowed in the pockets of the bag. Toothbrush, a small tube of toothpaste issued by the hospital, a few t-shirts, a pair of jeans – at least they'd let him wear his own clothes this time.

"Hey, bro!"

Edward smiled; the cheerful voice of his brother was boomingly loud in the silence of the wing but was one of the most welcome sounds he could imagine.

"Emmett!"

The large, curly haired boy wrapped his muscled arms around his younger brother affectionately, squeezing him until he nearly couldn't breathe. "I missed you."

"Good to see you," Edward agreed, patting Emmett roughly on the back. He turned and was pleased to see his father standing at the entrance to the room. The normally blonde doctor looked noticeably older these days, his hair streaked with white around the temples, and the lines on his face were more pronounced. There was no trace of tired exhaustion around his eyes as he beamed at the sight of his sons. "Hi, Dad."

"Good morning, Edward," Carlisle smiled. "You ready to go home?"

"Definitely," Edward nodded. He reached to pick up his knapsack, but Emmett already had it slung over his shoulder. "Do you have your Swiss army knife handy?"

Emmett's eyes narrowed in confusion at first, but cleared with understanding as Edward held out his braceleted wrist. Pulling out the key chain containing the pocket knife, he sliced through the bracelets, grinning in mock triumph as the offending plastic rings fell to the floor.

"Freedom," Edward whispered, rubbing a hand over his newly liberated wrist.

"Now let's get out of here," Emmett said as he strode quickly towards the door. "No offense dad, but this place seriously creeps me out. I don't know how you can stand it."

"It's just a building," Carlisle chuckled. "Walls, floors, windows, paint, lights – I don't know why everyone thinks the hospital is such a scary place."

Edward shuddered as he exited the room, not bothering to look back as he made his way down the hallway. These walls had kept him hostage for the past six weeks and never would again, not if he could help it. He barely even noticed the weight of Emmett's arm over his shoulder as he walked speedily through the corridors towards the main entrance.

Edward had hoped his mother would be waiting in the car, but it sat empty in the parking lot. She hadn't been feeling well lately, always tired with migraines. She must have stayed home to rest. The disappointment of Esme Cullen's absence quickly faded as the reality of leaving the hospital became more apparent.

Edward was going home.

The tall, bronze-haired boy tossed his bag into the back seat of his father's car and climbed in. He didn't even bother trying to fight his brother for the front seat. Some things were worth sacrificing for sake of speed.

His happiness and eagerness to leave were quickly replaced with confusion, his brows narrowing as the familiar streets on the usual route home shifted. "We're heading the wrong direction."

"About that," Carlisle sighed. "We decided that we needed to make a change, as much for us as for you. Chicago has too many bad memories for all of us."

"Meaning?" Edward pressed.

"We've decided to relocate," his father replied, his cheer partially forced as Edward caught his eye in the rear-view mirror. Emmett was uncharacteristically silent in the front passenger seat – a detail that didn't escape Edward, nor did it make him any less apprehensive about the situation. "We've spent the past six weeks moving our things to Washington."

"Washington?" Edward exclaimed, his eyebrows rising in surprise. His stomach churned with unease at such a drastic and unexpected twist to the day.

"The house is cool," Emmett added. "Our rooms are huge and there's this awesome forest and a river on the property. It'll be nice."

Nice? Nice doesn't exactly sound fantastic. It's just 'nice'.

"Don't I have to get my stuff?" Edward asked, gripping the leather of the seat as if doing so could ground him and keep the world from disappearing beneath his feet.

"We've already packed and moved everything," Carlisle assured him, the flickers of blue eyes in the rearview becoming more frequent as he tried to gauge Edward's reaction. Edward attempted to keep himself calm, taking deep breaths to steady himself, but he couldn't hide the fact that he was visibly shaken by the news.

It doesn't matter. It's just a house. The house is not a ward and that's all that matters. Keep cool or they'll turn around and bring you back.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked, wincing slightly at the blatant strain in his voice.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Emmett said, peering around the seat and fixing Edward with a comforting smile. His brown eyes were warm, filled with an ease and optimism that helped soothe Edward's frayed nerves. "A goodsurprise. Seriously, bro, the house beats the Chicago house, tenfold. We spent the last few weeks getting moved in and ready. We even tried to make your room the way you like it."

Edward chuckled at the thought as he imagined his mother directing the others to the placement of his furniture and things. It was a well-known fact that he was particular about the set-up of his room and the placement of the things within it; maybe too much so.

Carlisle and Emmett allowed Edward several moments of silence to process the new information, keeping silent in the front seat as he contemplated the unexpected situation. "Are we driving to Washington?"

"No," Carlisle answered, another flash of blue in the rear-view mirror, "Mrs. Hendley from down the street has bought the car from us. She's meeting us at the airport to take ownership of it. I've bought a few new vehicles that are waiting for us in Forks."

"Forks?"

"That's the name of the town we're living in," Emmett filled in. "It's puny, but it's real scenic and all. They have a decent school softball team, too."

Edward brightened at the mention of a softball team. The one thing he'd truly missed his entire stay in the hospital was the feel of the soft, worn leather mitt beneath his fingers – that and his piano. Anywhere his mitt and his piano were would be home, regardless of its physical location. "Sounds cool."

"Don't interrupt," the older brother chided mockingly. "I haven't even gotten to the best part yet."

"Oh?"

"Dad bought us our own cars! We don't have to ride around in this dadmobile anymore."

"Seriously?" Edward could feel his eyes widen with shock. His father's Honda was new enough that it wasn't an eyesore or embarrassing, but it definitely had "dad" written all over it.

"Real estate pricing is a lot lower in Washington than Chicago," the elder Cullen explained. "I decided to use the money we saved to do something nice for my sons. You're both getting older and you're going to want to move out eventually. You'll need vehicles when you do."

"What did you get me?" Edward asked, his voice full of awe.

"I'm not done telling you what I got yet," Emmett growled jokingly. "I've got a great Jeep Wrangler that's totally decked out for off-roading. Leather interior, new sound system and the works."

"Cool," Edward nodded in approval. "But what do I get?"

"A Volvo C70," Carlisle beamed from the front seat. Edward watched as the blue eyes in the mirror crinkled in joy. "It's a silver, sporty thing with black leather interior, state of the art sound-system installed by your brother, and it's a convertible."

"A Volvo?" Edward grimaced at the obvious disappointment in his voice. He hadn't ever really paid attention to cars, an oddity for a sixteen year old boy, but the word 'Volvo' wasn't really up there with words like 'Ferrari', 'Porsche' or 'Aston Martin'.

"It's cool," Emmett assured him. "Trust me, I wouldn't let dad buy you a wuss mobile.

"It's safe," Carlisle defended.

Edward rolled his eyes. He knew that his frame was long and lean as opposed to his brother's thicker, muscular build, but he was still athletic and strong despite his parents' insistence that he was more fragile.

He ignored the fact that his recent stays in the hospital tended to support the parental opinion of things.

The flight was silent but relaxing. Emmett had given Edward back his beloved ipod, and the youngest Cullen had eagerly put on his headphones, listening to the most soothing of his elaborately planned out playlists as he focused on his music instead of the daunting future that lay before him.

It's a fresh start, he reminded himself. A fresh start without rumors, sideways glances from other students, or hospitals.

Before he knew it, they were speeding towards the new home in his father's new Audi R8. Edward had eyed the flashy car skeptically and wondered if Carlisle had been paying attention to his sons' gripes about the 'dadmobile' after all.

He watched the town pass by as they sped through it, curious about the place he would call home that was as different as night and day from the sprawling city of Chicago. He frowned as they passed tiny homes in obvious disrepair – no wonder the cost of real estate here was cheaper. The houses became sparser as they seemed to pass completely through the town and back into a heavily forested area on the other side. Nearly fifteen minutes since Edward had last seen another house, Carlisle turned left onto a hidden driveway so well disguised by the surrounding greenery that he had barely noticed it.

The first things he saw were the two shining vehicles parked in front of the house after the long, winding driveway to the home. The black jeep looked almost like a mini Hummer with the off-roading gear and he couldn't imagine a vehicle more suited to his older brother. His eyes slid over to the understated silver car parked just behind it.

"I thought you said it was a convertible," Edward said, furrowing his brow as he squinted at the seamless silver roof.

Carlisle winked and pulled a key from his pocket. "Try it out."

Forgetting to even look at the house, Edward snatched the key from his father's hand and raced towards the sleek, silver car. He couldn't get the door open fast enough as he sat inside and scanned the console for something that indicated a convertible. Finally locating the right button, he pressed it and watched in glee as the roof opened above him and folded itself into the back of the car.

"Be careful with that," Carlisle warned, "Just because it can drive fast doesn't mean you should. I don't want to have to stitch you back together because you've wrapped yourself around some tree trunk."

Edward didn't respond, choosing instead to run his hand over the various buttons and gauges that made up the dashboard. "Thank you."

"You might want to stop drooling on the upholstery, bro. It'll ruin the leather."

Edward looked up in time to see Emmett toss his small backpack at him and jumped out of the car to catch it.

"Lock up the car so we can give you the grand tour," Carlisle called. "And don't forget to put the roof up. It looks like it's going to rain."

"It always looks like rain," Emmett sighed, walking ahead of them into the house. "I'm going to call Rosalie. I have my cell if you need me."

"Rosalie?" Edward asked his father, quirking an eyebrow questioningly.

"Emmett's new girlfriend," Carlisle frowned. "I'm beginning to worry that they're inseparable. He's only seventeen, I don't want him to be so serious about a girl so early in his life."

"You started dating Mom when you were fifteen," Edward pointed out.

"That was different," his father replied stubbornly. Everything was always 'different' when it came to his childhood. Regardless, his face softened as he no doubt thought about his high school romance and what it had become. "I knew true love when I saw it."

"Maybe this Rosemary is his true love," Edward countered.

"It's Rosalie, not Rosemary," Carlisle corrected, "And don't let her hear you get her name wrong. You won't stand a chance against her."

Edward wanted to ask him more but his father had already shuffled them into the foyer. Edward looked around curiously, taking in the odd feeling of displacement that comes with moving to a new home. The furniture was familiar enough, most everything had been moved here from Chicago but to see them rearranged in this setting seemed to put the world on a tilt.

Edward shot his father a look, clearly displaying his irritation of being kept in the dark about the move.

"I know, I know," Carlisle replied, putting up his hands in mock surrender. "We thought it would be best to keep the stress of moving a secret until you were released from the hospital. We didn't want to delay your recovery."

Edward looked at his father for a few minutes before nodding in agreement. The additional stress and anxiety of moving could have forced them to keep him under observation for a bit longer than they had. "Where's my room? I need to take a nap or something. I'm exhausted."

The transformation was a familiar one as his father's loving eyes because the practiced, observant eyes of the doctor as he evaluated Edward's appearance. "That sounds like a good idea. I'll show you the rest of the house later."

The two men made their way up stairs where Carlisle opened the first door on the left. "Here's your room," he pointed out. "Emmett's is across the hall, and the master bedroom is at the end."

"No bathroom on this floor?"

"Each room has a small attached bathroom," Carlisle smiled. "Your room and your brother's room have pretty small ones, just a shower, sink and toilet, but the one in the master bedroom has a large soaker tub."

"Nice," Edward said approvingly.

"I'll let you get settled," Carlisle said, backing towards the stairs. "I'll be downstairs in the front room."

"Thanks, Dad," Edward said as he looked into his new room. It was the same size as his room in Chicago had been and about three times the size of his small, hospital room. His large, queen-sized bed sat in a new wooden frame stood against the large window looking out into the back property, and his desk, stereo and bookshelf were against the wall shared by the door. To his right was a small door that would lead to his bathroom, but Edward didn't bother to look at it as he shut the door behind him, dropped his bag on the floor and collapsed onto the bed.

When he finally woke up, the first thing he noticed was that it was completely dark outside. He fumbled for his alarm clock but noticed it wasn't in its usual place beside the bed.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead," a soft, melodic voice called to him.

Edward jumped as he turned to look at the figure sitting at the foot of his bed, his surprise turning to joy as he realized who it was. "Mom!"

"The one and only," she smiled, wrapping her arms around him in a comforting hug. "Sorry I wasn't there to pick you up earlier, sweetie."

"Your headaches again?" Edward asked, answered by a sad look and a nod from his mother. "Hopefully dad can do something to help you."

"He's tried his best," Esme nodded, "But there's only so much that can be done. I'll be fine."

She squeezed her son's shoulders and Edward felt better about being here. He wasn't in the hospital and his whole family was in one spot; life wasn't that bad. Plus, his car was waiting for him in the front drive.

"What time is it?" Edward asked, rubbing his eyes and trying to smooth down his bed-mussed hair.

"About 9:30," Esme informed him. "You looked so peaceful and relaxed, your father couldn't bear to wake you. Your dinner's waiting in the fridge, just pop it into the microwave. I'm going to head to bed. You may have slept all day, but some of us have been up and about."

With that, she kissed him on top of the head and slipped out of the room.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" The deep voice boomed from the door way. Edward scrabbled to sit upright and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Wha?"

"Get up or you're going to be late," Emmett yelled from Edward's closet where he reached in and tossed out a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, and Edward's favorite flannel button-down.

"Late for what?" Edward asked, fully awake and glaring at his brother.

"For school," Emmett rolled his eyes. "It's Monday."

"It's only 7:45," Edward yawned with a glance at his alarm clock.

"School starts at 8:30 here, not 9:00 like in Chicago," Emmett explained. "I forgot to tell you last night, and it takes a good twenty minutes to get to the school from here."

Edward cursed under his breath and crawled out of the warm bed. He wanted nothing more than to spend all day in the bed,his bed. It made the horrific hospital bed feel like a cement block in comparison.

Shooing his older brother from the room, Edward stripped himself from the flannel pants he'd slept in and pulled a clean pair of boxers from the small chest of drawers in the corner of his room before putting on the clothes Emmett had picked from the closet for him.

As he was tying his shoes, Emmett burst back into the room with a backpack, a small package of un-toasted poptarts, and a travel mug of coffee. Thrusting these items into Edward's hands, he went back to the closet and handed Edward a navy blue wool coat he recognized as the one his mother had bought him the previous fall.

"Isn't this going to be a little warm for late-March?" Edward asked as he put down the various items he held and shrugged on the coat.

"It's pretty fricken' cold here," Emmett answered. "C'mon, I'll drive you."

"I can take my own car," Edward said, trailing behind the dark-haired boy. He looked longingly at the silver car as they passed. His impromptu nap had stopped him from taking it for a test drive.

"You have no idea where everything is," Emmett pointed out, "and I seriously doubt you could find the house again. I'd hate to give up my precious time driving circles around town looking for your scrawny, lost little self."

Edward scowled at him, but didn't protest any more as he hoisted himself into the passenger seat of the jeep.

The ride to school was silent, Emmett nodded his head in time to the driving rhythms pulsing from the speakers and Edward silently observed the scenery that passed by his window, attempting to memorize as much as he could for when he was finally able to drive his new car.

"So who's Rosalie?" Edward asked as they pulled into a mostly empty parking lot.

"A goddess who deigns to walk among us mere mortals," Emmett responded, a glassy look over his eyes. Edward had to press his lips tight to keep from laughing at his brother's obviously smitten, love-drunk expression.

"And when do I get to meet this goddess?"

"Right now," Emmett said, nodding towards a small, red car that had just pulled into the lot. Edward watched with interest as the tall, stunning blonde stepped out of the car and waved at the boys in the jeep.

"Those legs go on for miles," Emmett said, a trace of awe in his voice.

Emmett stepped out of the jeep and wrapped his arms around the blonde, kissing her in a way that made Edward uncomfortable. He looked away and cleared his throat, letting them know that this moment wasn't as intimate as they seemed to think it was.

"Rose, this is my little brother, Edward. Edward, my girlfriend, Rose."

"Nice to meet you Edward," she turned her ice-blue eyes on Edward and he shifted under the piercing intensity of their gaze. She smiled and revealed perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth that made her look like a walking toothpaste advert. "I'm Rosalie Hale."

"Hi," Edward replied, nodding at her.

"What grade are you?"

"Ed's sixteen, a junior," Emmett answered for him.

"Don't call me 'Ed'," Edward grumbled.

"My brother, Jasper, is a junior, too."

Edward turned his eyes back to the red car and noticed that there was a tall, lanky boy rooting through the trunk. The boy was just as blonde as his sister and wore his hair shaggy. Edward recognized a guitar case being pulled from the truck.

"Hey, Jazz! Come over here!" Rosalie waved her brother over and he came, guitar case in hand, in slow, long strides.

"Hey Em," the blonde nodded to Emmett.

"This is Edward," Rosalie gestured towards Edward who nodded awkwardly in response. "He's in the same grade as you. Maybe you could keep an eye on him in class, help him find his way around and show him the ropes."

"Yeah, sure," Jasper smiled, nodding. His cool, grey eyes sized Edward up and seemed to find him suitable.

"You didn't start here last month with Emmett?" Jasper asked Edward as their siblings linked arms and disappeared into the school.

"No. I had to stay back in Chicago," Edward explained. "I was in the hospital and didn't get released until yesterday."

"Oh, wow. You were sick?" Jasper said, his eyes widening. Edward watched Jasper's reaction cautiously, seeing how he would take the news. He couldn't wonder if it was partially an act. Surely Emmett would have mentioned something to Rosalie, who would, in turn, mention something to her brother.

"Something like that," he said after a moment's hesitation. Jasper had seemed concerned, but didn't pry further as he walked beside Edward to the office. They must have already expected him because his papers, his class schedule, and a map of the school were waiting for him when they arrived.

Jasper took a look at Edward's schedule and grinned. "Look at that – all the same classes together."

"Cool," Edward smiled. "I don't want to be some sort of burden though."

"No, it's all good," Jasper said. "Emmett's a great guy and if you're anything like him, we'll get along just fine."

Edward didn't say anything about him and Emmett being completely different people, favoring the companionship instead. It was the first time he'd been able to have a real conversation with someone who wasn't related to him by blood or hospital staff being paid to deal with him.

"I just have to drop this off in the band room," he said, holding up his guitar case. They made their way over to a small building separate from the rest of the school and Edward was relieved that nobody was in the room as he stood awkwardly at the door. The stares would come soon enough.

"I can't believe someone scheduled math at the beginning of the day," Jasper groaned as he sauntered ahead of Edward into a door to his right. Edward followed him, ignoring the stares of the others and sat down in a desk Jasper had gestured to beside him.

Morning classes went by slowly, but Jasper's friendly, easy-going attitude made things a lot more pleasant than they would have been if Edward had been left to flounder for himself. The students here were curious about him, but not knowing his history and his hospital records, the curiosity was solely because he was someone new and shiny.

For the first time, Edward was able to truly appreciate his parents' decision to move away from Chicago and start fresh.

The streak of good luck in meeting Jasper ended at lunch as the blonde informed Edward that he had to leave for lunch-time band rehearsal and that he'd have to find his brother in the cafeteria. Edward scanned the cafeteria warily after he paid for a sandwich and a bottle of orange juice from the lunch ladies. Thankfully, Emmett and Rosalie were easily spotted, sitting comfortably by themselves in a table at the back of the room.

Edward smiled as Emmett waved him over, thankful that he wouldn't have to sit by himself. He ignored the nagging voice in his head that told him Emmett would never have offered a seat at his table to Edward back in Chicago before the hospital.

Lunch passed smoothly enough as Edward got to know Rosalie, who spoke easily to him as though they'd been friends for twenty years rather than twenty minutes. She seemed a bit cold at times, but she was nice enough and it was obvious to Edward, even in a short time, that she was the Night to Emmett's Day. He began to understand why his father was so worried about the seriousness of their relationship.

Jasper showed up at the end of lunch time, stuffing a quick sandwich into his mouth as they headed towards Biology. "Sorry man, but there's something I gotta tell you."

"Yeah?" Edward asked.

"My girlfriend, Alice, is in this class and I'm her lab partner," Jasper's voice was apologetic and comprehension quickly dawned on Edward. "There's a good seat for you though. This one girl's lab partner just moved away so there's an open seat at her table. She's smart so I'm sure you two will hit off just fine."

"Oh, okay," Edward said, hoping his voice didn't sound as disappointed as he thought it did.

Edward was quickly introduced to a short, but lively girl named Alice Brandon, Jasper's girlfriend, before the start of class before being directed to an open seat at the back corner of the room. The other occupant of the table had yet to arrive so Edward sat down in the chair closest the window and hoped he wasn't in her seat. It wasn't until mere seconds before the bell rang that she slipped into the classroom and seated herself hesitantly down beside Edward, giving him an inquisitive glance.

Edward could only stare as she took the seat next to him. She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen in person. Her creamy complexion was smooth, unblemished and make-up free except for what looked like a bit of gloss on her Cupid's bow lips. Her eyes were deep brown with swirling flecks of gold, a surprising depth and warmth contained within them. Her brow furrowed and her cheeks flushed as she became aware of the intensity and Edward immediately lowered his eyes, feeling his own cheeks burn. His eyes darted over to Jasper but his new friend was concentrating on the dark haired girl that sat beside him.

"Uh, hi," The girl said softly. Her voice wasn't too high or too low, but a lovely alto tone.

"Hi," Edward replied awkwardly, glancing up and averting his eyes immediately. Deep brown was staring back at him full of question but he knew if he stared at them again, his mental fog would deepen and render him speechless. "I'm Edward. Edward Cullen."

"Bella Swan," she introduced herself, settling into her seat as she opened her books. Edward couldn't study her directly without seeming strange, so he looked at her handwriting instead. It was not looping and feminine as he would have expected, but rather precise and uniform. He looked down at his own writing, so tiny and precise, lacking in any flourishes. Her writing was completely indiscernible from his.

"Alright, class. It's time to work in partners. I want you to diagram and label the sections of the brain using your textbook for references. Talking is permitted, but keep it on-topic. I'm looking at you Mr. Newton."

The class laughed at looked towards a blonde boy with gelled back hair who shrugged and laughed along with his classmates. Edward hadn't met him yet, but he seemed popular and well-liked by the rest of the students.

"You're new here," Bella said, a statement rather than a question, but inviting him to add more.

"Yep," Edward nodded. "I just moved here from Chicago."

"Are you related to the senior who moved here? Emmett?" she asked. "You have the same last name."

"Yeah, he's my brother," Edward explained. He kept glancing to the pen he fiddled in his hands to keep from staring too intently into her eyes. He felt like he could get lost in their depths and that would be counter-productive to convincing her he was a nice, intelligent guy.

"He started school here over a month ago," Bella pointed out. "Why are you just starting now?"

Edward swallowed heavily knowing this question was going to come up a lot. He wanted to say something to keep from telling her the truth, but he could not lie to this angel-faced girl. "I couldn't leave Chicago until yesterday."

"Couldn't? Why not?" Bella's questions were more conversational than interrogative and Edward felt himself relax as she smiled warmly at him. Her smile traveled to her eyes, crinkling the corners slightly, and her round cheeks blushed as his eyes locked with hers.

"I was in the hospital," Edward said softly, watching her reaction. Her eyes narrowed in a look he interpreted as concern and her smile faded. He looked down, not wanting to see the pity that seeped into most people's expressions when they found out he'd been in hospital.

"Are you sick?" She asked. "Why would your family move here without you if you were sick?"

"I'm not sick anymore," Edward promised. "And they moved here when I was recovering so that we could start fresh without reminder off my illness."

Edward caught a hint of relief flickering across Bella's face and her smile warmed once more. "That's sweet of them," she said, turning to her paper as she began a rough sketch of the brain and its different sections.

Following suit, Edward turned to his own paper and began to sketch, feeling happier about his life here in Forks. He'd opened up to three people and, so far, all three had been kind to him. They knew he'd been in hospital and didn't press for further details. A voice in the back of his mind told Edward that they'd want to know, eventually. The questions would come and he would have to answer for himself, but he hoped desperately that they wouldn't ask about who he was then and focus on who he was now.

"How do you like it so far?" Bella asked, breaking the peaceful silence that had encompassed them.

"I haven't really seen much so far," Edward admitted, "but Jasper Hale has been showing me around."

"Jasper's a great guy," Bella nodded. "So is his girlfriend, Alice. They were welcoming when I first moved here."

"You're not from Forks originally?"

"No, definitely not," she shook her head, moving the tendrils of silken dark brown hair. Edward fisted a hand and pressed it firmly into his thigh to keep from reaching out to touch a strand that fell in front of her face. He couldn't restrain himself from breathing deep and smelling the soap-fresh scent of her hair. Bella roughly brushed her hair from her face as she looked toward Edward. "I mean, I was born here, but I was raised in Phoenix, Arizona by my mom. She just got married to this guy in minor league baseball so I decided to move back here with my dad and give them time to enjoy being newlyweds."

"That's generous of you," Edward said. His opinion of Bella was rising by the second. Not only was she gorgeous, but she seemed to be thoughtful, kind, and intelligent. Her sketch of the brain was almost done with more than half the labels already done. Edward looked down at his own paper and frowned. His brain was roughly sketched and he'd yet to label anything. He'd been too busy staring at Bella Swan to concentrate on his work.

"Not really," Bella laughed softly. "Have you ever been around newlyweds? It's disgusting. So much PDA I didn't think I'd be able to keep my stomach settled."

Edward laughed in sympathy and thought about his own affectionate parents. He'd been embarrassed in front of his friends more than once and they couldn't even play the 'newlywed' card.

The bell rang and Edward said goodbye to Bella, who lingered behind griping about the barbarian tradition that was physical education. Edward longed to stay with her a few seconds longer, already recognizing himself as smitten with his newest acquaintance, but hurried to catch up with Jasper and Alice who were tossing things into their bags and shoving stools under the tables. He stood awkwardly in the hall as Jasper kissed Alice goodbye, and then the two boys made their way to physics class.

Physics had always been one of Edward's favorite classes, the equations coming easily to him, but the day's class had been a struggle. It had been several months since Edward had been in a structured classroom setting, and while his morning classes had been easy to go through, he was beginning to feel exhausted from the efforts of the day and had difficulty concentrating. Bella Swan wasn't exactly helping him keep his head on straight either. Her heart-shaped face seemed to be lingering on the edge of his consciousness at all times despite his efforts to move on with the day.

"What's up, man?" Edward shook his head and turned to look at his new friend. Jasper was looking questioningly at Edward with steel grey eyes, waving a hand to get his attention. "You're a total space cadet right now."

"Sorry," he apologized. "Just have something on my mind."

"What?" Jasper asked and then smiled slyly, "Or should I say, who?"

"Nothing," Edward said, ducking his head, but not in time to his the blush that he knew extended to the tips of his ears.

"Definitely a 'who', then," Jasper grinned. "Don't worry, man, you don't have to tell me."

Edward smiled in appreciation.

When the bell finally rang, Edward could not have felt more relieved. Thanking Jasper for showing him around, he practically tore his things out of his locker and raced to the lot, hoping that Emmett wasn't going to take his time getting there.

Thankfully, Emmett was already at the jeep, one thick arm wrapped tightly around Rosalie as they waited for Edward. Realizing that he was relegated to the back seat when Rosalie was around, he climbed into the back seat and tried to cram his long legs in the confined space as Rosalie lowered the seat back into place. Edward doubted a 5'5 person could fit comfortably let alone a lanky boy of 6'2.

Emmett quickly claimed dibs on the living room and settled onto the seat with Rosalie, the two of them only taking up one cushion despite the fact that there were four to choose from.

Edward quickly escaped to the back, not wanting to be alone with them. He was curious about the property anyway. After six weeks of confinement in his grey room, he longed to be outdoors, especially in the beautifully green west coast scenery that surrounded him.

He stepped out into the fresh air and sat on the back porch to contemplate where he wanted to go.

"Don't wander too far," Esme said from behind him.

"Oh, hi Mom," Edward greeted her.

She leaned against the porch rail and looked out into the yard before turning back to him, her sea green eyes watching him with evident care. Edward smiled knowing that they shared the same, unique eye colour. "How was school?"

"School is school," he answered without giving it much thought. His legs ached to get moving and just run. He was disappointed that he had missed the term of physical education when he transferred into the second semester and longed to strain his muscles to their limits. He had always been an athletic boy and being confined to a hospital room for six months and then a second stretch for six weeks had been far too long. "It doesn't really change, does it?"

"I'm afraid not," Esme smiled reassuringly. "I'll be in the study if you need me."

Edward nodded as she turned and retreated into the house and didn't realize until later that he had no idea where 'the study' was. Shrugging it off, he tightened the laces of his runners and took off into the woods behind the house. He didn't turn back until the sky began to darken.

As the weeks passed, Edward began to adapt to life in Forks. He finally found the study his parents shared as well as the location of several other rooms. He spent almost all his time outdoors, even in the cold spring rain.

He began to get closer to Bella Swan one biology class at a time and was becoming fast friends with Jasper Hale. For once, everything in his life seemed to fit in place and work out for him.

"What are you staring at?" Jasper asked, breaking Edward from his daydreams of Bella.

"N-no one," Edward started, looking down at his lunch instead of the gorgeous brunette who was laughing with Jessica Stanley three tables over.

"Well maybe you should ask 'n-no one' on a date so your ability to focus can be recovered, space cadet."

Edward picked his apple up from his tray and threw it jokingly at his best friend, knowing he would catch it without any doubt.

"You know, most people eat their food rather than throw it," Rosalie said dryly as she sat down at the table, Emmett following closely behind. "Why are you trying to pummel my brother with fruit today, Edward?"

"He's making moon eyes over some girl," Jasper said, pointing in the vague direction of Bella's table. Edward glanced over to the table and was happy to see she wasn't paying any attention to the people sitting at Edward's.

"Really?" Rosalie smiled deviously. "Who? Please tell me, for the love of all that is holy, that you're not into Lauren Mallory."

Edward scrunched his nose in distaste, "Of course not."

"I think you should just grow a pair and ask her out," Jasper insisted again. "What do you have to lose?"

"Ask who out?" Rosalie pressed, scanning the tables to see if she could tell who Edward was interested in.

"He won't tell me," Jasper said, smiling as Alice showed up at the table with her lunch tray. She sat down in the chair next to him and he pulled it closer to his own. "Do you know who holds the key to Edward's heart?"

"No, who?" Alice asked expectantly.

"He won't tell us," Rosalie gave an exaggerated sigh. "He's just sitting there, staring at his food and blushing."

Edward stopped staring at his food long enough to give Rosalie a dagger-sharp glare before returning his attention back to the mashed potatoes he was pulverizing with his fork.

"I don't think Edward's interested in dating anyone," Emmett said from across the table. Edward looked up at him and was surprised at the serious tone in his voice and eyes. "Especially not after he's been so sick at the hospital."

"Yeah, you're right, Em," Edward nodded in agreement. "No girls for me."

"What were you in the hospital for, anyway?" Alice asked before taking a bite of her sandwich. "I don't think you ever told me."

The others remained silent. Edward had a feeling Rosalie knew, though she never mentioned it, and Jasper never asked either. He glanced at his best friend and noticed the question in his eyes echoed that of his girlfriend's. They didn't know.

"I just let myself get too run down," Edward said. "Needed time to build up my strength and recover."

He knew his answer was vague and not quite the truth, but they seemed to accept it. No doubt they were twisting his words in their heads as they interpreted them into the various diseases and ailments that ran rampant in the headlines. He only hoped they wouldn't ask again.

"No girls at all?" Alice asked.

"No," Edward shook his head, keeping his head down even though his bronze hair flopped into his eyes. He would have to get it cut soon and was surprised that Esme hadn't mentioned anything about it getting long. "I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Neither do I," Emmett agreed, his voice warning everyone not to disagree. No one did.

"Where are you going?" Carlisle called out to Edward as headed out the back door.

"Just walking," Edward called back, his mild irritation noticeable in his tone of voice.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yes," Edward yelled as he started walking again. "You guys can't mollycoddle me forever. You have to let me live my life."

He glanced over his shoulder and saw his father's face set in disapproval, arms folded across his chest as he watched his son leave. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward in a smile as his mother waved at him from behind his father's back, mouthing a 'take care' to him.

Turning back to the forest, he jogged to the small wooden bridge that spanned the width of the river and crossed over to the forested side of his family's property. The weekend morning walks in the forest were one of the few things keeping Edward sane these days. There was no way in hell he was going to let anyone take that away from him be it rain, sleet, snow or father in coat of white.

Edward automatically began to turn to the right, his usual route through the thickly forested area, but decided to mix things up and go left into the woods this morning. Breathing the cool, damp air into his lungs, feeling it's replenishing touch on his lungs, he disappeared into the forest and turned directly towards his favorite place in the world. He'd discovered it on his third exploration of the forest and had since made sure to visit it every day.

He made his way through the thick brush with the ease of a practiced hiker. He felt at home in the woods as though he had always lived in the thickly wooded west coast. He stepped into his meadow just as the ever-present clouds began to part overhead and small streaks of sunlight began to make their way through the green canopy of the trees.

He was about to sit in his favorite place at the trunk of a tree to dig into a book he'd tucked into his back pocket when he realized that someone was already there.

"Bella?" his voice was no more than a strangled whisper, but it sounded out loudly in the stillness of the woods.

"Edward?" Bella exclaimed, dropping the dog-eared book she held in her hands to the ground. "You scared me! I didn't even hear your footsteps!"

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked, wincing slightly at the demanding tone of his voice. He softened it and tried to amend his words. "I mean, I've never seen you here before. I didn't even think anyone knew about it."

"I might say the same," Bella said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I've been coming here for ages. I live just over there."

Edward looked in the general direction that she pointed and realized that she must live just a bit further down the road from where his house was located. "I didn't know."

"You never asked," she shrugged. "I didn't realize that anyone had bought the old Easterly house. It's been empty for years."

"It's been full for the past four months," Edward answered awkwardly, shuffling his feet. He looked over his shoulder in the direction of his house.

"Wait. You don't have to go just because I'm here," Bella said, realizing what he was about to do. "I don't mind sharing."

"Really?" Edward asked, not quite sure if he minded sharing.

"Yeah, just do what you normally do and pretend I'm not even here."

Edward hesitated, glancing behind him once more and then back to the tree where Bella now sat.

"You usually sit here, too, don't you?"

Edward nodded in answer.

Bella scooted over a few inches and patted the soft grass beside her. "I told you, I don't mind sharing."

Edward raked a hand through his hair as he debated his options before making his way across the field and sitting down beside Bella, making sure to keep a good two inches distance between them despite the fact that the spot caused an awkward knot to dig into his back.

"You don't look very comfortable," Bella observed and Edward cursed her attentive nature. Nothing seemed to get by her in class and apparently that skill applied to the great outdoors too.

"You can sit closer, I don't mind," she laughed. Edward smiled. He couldn't keep from smiling when Bella laughed. If she was happy, he couldn't help but be affected by her joy.

He scooted over, but only enough so that the gnarled bark was no longer digging into his shoulder blade. This positioned him so that their arms were touching and though Edward tried to turn to his reading, he could escape the ever-present awareness of her. He stole fleeting glances at her from the corner of his eye. She flipped through pages at a steady pace, clearly not as affected by his presence as she was by his.

"I see you watching me," she said softly, startling Edward. He felt his ears burn red and alarm rang through him at being caught.

"I-I…" he stuttered, but wasn't really sure what to say. 'No, I'm not' seemed childish when he so obviously had been.

"It's alright," she smiled as a strawberry blush flushed her cheeks. "I only noticed because I was watching you too."

"You were?"

She looked down modestly and nodded, putting her book down on the ground. She took a deep breath as though to steady herself, and then shifted so that she was facing Edward. Out of a mixture of politeness and curiosity, he found himself mirroring her moves, turning to face her straight on. "I've… noticed you a lot."

"You have?" Edward had known himself besotted by Bella from the very first moment he'd lain eyes on her, but had never noticed her returning his attentions. He swallowed heavily and raked his hand through his hair, as had become habit whenever his nerves were riled.

"You're not like anyone I've ever met," she continued. She looked up from the ground and a small smirk curled upon her lips. "What have you done to your hair?"

"Nothing," Edward answered and self-consciously tried to flatten whatever had made her laugh so.

"Let me," she laughed softly, and Edward held still as her eyes fixed upon his hair. Her pale, delicate hands reached up tentatively, and began to smooth his hair into submission. His eyes shut as her gentle touches soothed and pleased him, though they did nothing to calm his racing heartbeat.

When he opened his eyes again, he was surprised at how close her face was to his. Her brow was furrowed in concentration as she attempted to tame his impossible hair, her lip caught between her teeth as her fingers curled in his locks.

"I give up," she sighed. Edward thought her breath smelled faintly of mint. Her eyes lowered from his hair back to his face but her fingers lingered in his hair. Edward could feel the heat of her body radiating against his own. He tried to remain calm but he couldn't hide the shuddering of his breath as he exhaled.

"Don't," he replied, mildly surprised at the rasp to his voice.

"Don't what?" Bella asked, running her fingers down his head until her arms were circled around his neck.

"Don't give up on me."

Bella gave Edward and odd look then, and he was certain that she could see through him to the truth written at the core. The hair on his neck stood on end as an icy chill traveled down his spine. Maybe she understood exactly what she saw within him.

"I could never give up on you," she stated solemnly.

Edward leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against hers in an act of impulse and pulled away before the contact had even registered. Despite the brief contact, his lips felt warmed by the soft flesh of her red lips and the lingering ghost of kiss still tingled upon his. He eyed her carefully and noticed she had remained completely still.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," Edward sputtered, and made motion to pull away. He had barely moved before Bella tightened her hold around him and pressed her lips to his. Edward had never felt anything like it before. His lips tingled with her warmth as their lips moved together in an intimate dance. Edward was certain Bella could feel his racing pulse as his heart hammered against his ribs. His hands moved instinctively to each side of her ribs, slowly grazing the side of her body to her hips. The kiss intensified until both were gasping for ragged breaths and Edward had pulled her flush against his body.

Stop!

Though it was nearly impossible, Edward pulled away from Bella's welcoming embrace with a groan, gasping to catch his breath. He pushed himself away, stumbling a few steps into the clearing.

"What? What did I do?" Bella asked breathlessly, her eyes wide with hurt and confusion.

Edward shook his head. "Nothing, you did nothing. I'm sorry, I can't do this."

"Why not?" Bella asked. Her eyes narrowed but the hurt and confusion were still visible within their earthy depths.

"I'm not," Edward paused knowing it would sound ridiculous to her ears, "I'm not supposed to date."

"Not supposed to date," Bella mouthed as she looked at Edward incredulously. "Really?"

"Yeah," Edward concentrated on the grass by his feet. "No girls since I've been sick."

"But you're better now, aren't you?"

Edward wanted to kiss her again. Her eyes were so full of concern and care that he wanted to wrap his arms around her and assure her he would be alright. The only problem was that he wasn't sure if he would be. He had thought he was fine the last time he'd left the hospital too, but that hadn't turned out well at all.

"Oh," she said, looking down when he didn't answer. "I don't care if you're sick. If you're wondering, that is. I don't care."

Edward smiled at her, thankful of her compassion, but she didn't understand. She'd be less likely to forgive him his weaknesses if she knew what made him ill. They had found out about his illness in Chicago and they had shunned him. He couldn't let that happen here. He couldn't bear it if Bella looked at him they way they had.

"We can keep it secret," she whispered, shifting herself closer to where he sat.

"You're persistent," Edward chuckled, seriously beginning to consider the idea.

"I don't know why," she blushed. "There's just something about you, Edward. I feel this incredible pull toward you and I can't ignore it. I'm not usually so bold like this, but I can't stand the idea of letting you slip through my fingers."

"You don't even know anything about me," Edward countered, raking a hand through his hair. "We've only known each other for a few months."

"I know that you like blues music," Bella started. "You're always humming little bits under your breath when you don't think anyone can hear you, but I always do. I know that you write with your right hand, but you probably could with you left hand too. When we dissected that frog, you used your left hand with the scalpel and every cut was as perfect and precise as it would have been with your right. You hate ham sandwiches; I noticed that you wrinkled your nose at mine when I put it on the desk. Your eyes are the most beautiful misty green colour I've ever seen and I know you like me as much as I like you."

Edward started. Bella Swan was alarmingly observant and yet she hadn't seen any of his illness. Maybe he was getting better.

"You think I like you?" He said, unable to help the smile that lifted the corner of his mouth.

She shook her head, "I said I know you like me as much as I like you, not think."

"You know?"

"Of course I know, Edward," Bella laughed and the sound was like music to Edward's ears. "I can see it in your eyes and know it to be as truthful as the fact that you're running your hand through your hair because you're flustered."

Edward pulled the incriminating hand from his hair and smiled sheepishly. "I guess you have me there."

He couldn't resist placing a chaste kiss on Bella's smile-rounded cheek. "Secret, eh?"

"We could meet here in the meadow," Bella said, looking around. "Spring's coming so we'll get more light as the days pass."

Edward looked around the meadow. He knew he shouldn't even be contemplating this, but the spark of Bella's touch still lingered on his lips and the warmth of her body still heated his fingertips. "Sure."

"Really?" Bella grinned brightly.

"Really," Edward answered soberly, pulling Bella toward him for another kiss. He knew he was unpracticed, never having kissed a girl before, but with Bella it seemed natural and perfect. He smiled when Bella sighed in his arms when he pulled away.

Fingertips touched lightly, fighting to remain close even as the light faded.

"I'll come back tomorrow," Edward promised.

He barely noticed the movement of his feet as he trekked through the forest back to his home. His thoughts were entirely dedicated to Bella and replaying her words and her kisses as his legs covered the ground on autopilot.

"Where have you been?" Esme scolded from the porch. "Your dinner's gone cold. Why are your cheeks so flushed?"

"I jogged here," Edward lied. His mother looked at him skeptically but ushered him into the house to eat his dinner without pressing further.

For weeks, Bella and Edward met in the meadow. Stolen kisses and the gradual revealing of the most personal secrets filled the spaces between lingering touches and peaceful existence. Sometimes they just sat out there, listening to nature with clasped hands.

At school, they barely talked. Even in biology, the only class they shared, their conversations were limited to the passing of notes in class and no more. He trained himself not to glance her way in the lunch room and he didn't mention her name to his friends. It was a carefully orchestrated dance of deception and romance that thrilled Edward to the depth of his being. Bella was perfect in his eyes and everything she said or did only seemed to strengthen this opinion rather than weaken it.

He began to debate telling her the one secret he never told anyone. He didn't even talk about it with his family, but maybe telling Bella would be alright. She'd known he'd been in the hospital, known he'd been ill, but didn't know why. He watched her glance at him from the corner of her eye in biology and decided against it. He couldn't bear it if that look of complete love, trust, and adoration was to be ruined by his past. He kept his mouth shut and decided, as he always did, that it was best to keep certain things unspoken and hurried to catch up to Alice and Jasper.

"Hey man, you want to work with me and Alice on the bi project?" Jasper asked. Mr. Banner had stated they could work in groups of three for the upcoming DNA model project. "I know I've been a lousy friend to you in that class and I'd hate to leave you stranded."

"No, it's cool. You haven't left me stranded at all. I have a partner."

"You do?" Jasper looked at him questioningly from behind a wall of shaggy blonde hair. "I thought you sat by yourself."

"No, Bella Swan sits by me," Edward told him, rolling his eyes at how unobservant his best friend became in the presence of his girlfriend. "Maybe if you could detach yourself from Alice for even thirty seconds you would have noticed that.

Jasper bowed his head sheepishly. "Yeah, about that, I'm really sorry. It's the only class we have together and I get a little… distracted. I didn't even know Bella was in that class."

"Distracted?" Edward laughed, punching Jasper jokingly in the shoulder. "A plane could crash land on the school and you wouldn't notice."

"Whatever, man," Jasper laughed and punched Edward in return. "What can I say? I know what I like and Alice has is it all in multiples. So you're cool for the project?"

"Yeah, I'm cool," Edward nodded as the two entered the cafeteria. Rose and Emmett were already waiting for them and Alice joined them after taking a few minutes to debate a grade on her bio quiz.

As Edward dug into his sandwich, he felt the hair prickle on the back of his neck, as if he was being watched. He looked up and scanned the room, stopping when his eyes met the ones who were locked on him this whole time.

Bella?

"Back woods, now," she mouthed to him, indicating the forest the crept along the back edge of the school with a tilt of her head.

Excusing himself from his table, Edward made his way into the main hall under the guise of going to the washroom, before ducking out the door to the back lot of the school. He watched as Bella stepped into the shaded woods to his right, and followed behind her silently.

She remained several paces ahead of him as she walked deeper and deeper into the thick forest, not looking back at him once as she journeyed onward. When the edge of the forest was no longer in sight, Bella stopped and turned on her heel to face Edward.

"What's going on, Bella?"

"I love you, Edward."

Edward felt his stomach twist at her words. He wanted to celebrate and scream it from the rooftops that this girl, the most beautiful, amazing girl he'd ever met, loved him. The solemn look on her face was what stopped him. There was no joy in her eyes, no smile on her bowed lips.

She's breaking up with me.

"Is that a problem?" He asked hesitantly. Telling someone you loved him for the first time wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be happy and romantic where something monumental marks the moment like in television and movies. It wasn't supposed to be hidden from civilization with sober faces and grave stares.

"I don't want to hide it," She said, standing closer to him as she smoothed out the collar of Edward's wool jacket. "I love you and everything about you. You're one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. I know you're not supposed to date because you're sick, but I don't understand why being sick is a reason not to live your life and let yourself fall in love."

Edward kept his mouth shut, not wanting to explain why it was important to keep it from his family. They wouldn't see things the way Bella did – not with what they knew.

"I just want to be a normal couple," she added quietly. "Don't you?"

"I love you, too," Edward answered, placing his hands over Bella's. "And I do want to be normal, I just don't think we can right now."

"Why not?" Her large brown eyes bore into his, daring him to contradict her reasoning. "I love you."

Edward frowned as he thought it over. Carlisle and Emmett had always been adamant that Edward hide his illness – that he prevent others from getting too close so that they didn't ask questions he couldn't answer.

But how long could he keep living this lie, pretending he didn't care when those around him paired off into happy, loving couples? What kind of life was it truly if he could never get close to anyone?

"You're right," Edward said lowly, tracing patterns on Bella's hands with his fingertips.

"Really?" Bella brightened, her solemnity transforming into sheer happiness.

"C'mon. I'll take you home. My mom works from the study so she'll be there. If I convince her this," he squeezed her hand tightly, "is all right, she'll work on my dad and my brother for us."

Bella threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply and passionately, both of them allowing their hands to roam freely, twisting in hair and sneaking beneath layers of clothing that had previously been unexplored.

Breaking away from her with a smile and ragged breath, Edward clasped hold of Bella's hand and began leading her back towards the school. The pair skirted the school, careful to avoid too many open windows, and made their way to the parking lot where Edward's car sat in its usual spot.

Every nerve in Edward's body was electric as he drove Bella home and she grinned broadly in the passenger seat. He could already picture the different things that would be opened up to them – dates at the diner, trips to Port Angeles to the movies or fancy restaurants, prom. This could be one of the best days of his young life if he could convince his mother this was right.

"Mom?" Edward called as they entered the house, his fingers firmly entwined within Bella's. "Mom! I have someone here I'd like you to meet."

He smiled as his mother appeared at the top of the stairs, but his smile faltered as she frowned, a crease forming between her brows.

"What are you talking about Edward?"

"I want you to meet Bella, my girlfriend," he said firmly, holding up the hand that clasped Bella's tightly.

Esme walked down the stairs slowly, an odd look on her face as her eyes narrowed in on Edward. She didn't even glance in Bella's direction as she neared. "Where is she?"

"She's right here," Edward said with irritation. What was his mother playing at? Bella was obviously standing right beside him.

"Edward?" Bella called softly, squeezing his hand. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know why she's doing this," Edward apologized. "She's standing right beside me, mom. If you would just look at her, you'd see her. What are you doing?"

"There's no one standing beside you, Edward," Esme said, grasping hold of Edward's shoulder in concern. "Are you feeling alright? Do I need to call your father?"

"Of course someone's standing beside me," Edward argued, turning frantically towards Bella. He could feel her cold hand in his own, could feel her flex her palm when he squeezed too tight.

"Edward, you're scaring me," Bella said, her eyes wide. "Tell me what's going on, is this some sort of joke?"

"Have you taken your medication, Edward?" Esme stroked Edward's cheek, drawing his attention back towards her. "You know how worked up you get when you don't take your medication."

"I don't need it," he argued. "Please, Mom. Stop this."

"Who are you talking to?" Bella pleaded, tears beginning to stream down her cheek. "Edward, you're scaring me."

"Not you too," Edward groaned. "My mother is standing right beside me. Just because she's being rude doesn't mean you need to do this to me too."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bella whispered through her tears.

"That's it, I'm calling your father," Esme said, moving to the living room and the phone. "I'm really worried about you Edward. It's not healthy. You need help. I don't want you to hurt yourself, sweetie."

Bella pulled her hand free of Edward's and looked around the room before shouting, "Is anybody home?"

"What are you doing?" Edward demanded again.

"I don't know what you're doing," she answered. "You're talking to the air and getting upset. I don't know what you're doing."

"She said you don't exist," he whispered, looking around frantically for proof of Bella to show his mother. "How can you not exist? How can you not be here?"

"Of course I exist!"

"Oh for heaven sakes, pick up the phone Carlisle," Edward heard his mother's voice from the other room.

Edward grabbed his backpack from the door and dumped it out on the floor, grabbing the large black binder from beneath his math book. Ripping it open, he dug into the front pocket and pulled out the notes – notes he had saved from biology class for the last few months.

He looked at the writing and crumpled the paper in frustration. The writing was exactly the same, there was nothing to separate Bella's handwriting from his own. There was no proof here.

"She doesn't exist, she doesn't exist," he chanted the words over and over, alarmed as he realized the truth of the words. "She doesn't exist."

He ripped the notes into shreds as he replayed an earlier conversation with Jasper.

"You haven't left me stranded at all. I have a partner."

"You do?" Jasper looked at him questioningly from behind a wall of shaggy blonde hair. "I thought you sat by yourself."

"No, Bella Swan sits by me," Edward told him, rolling his eyes at how unobservant his best friend became in the presence of his girlfriend. "Maybe if you could detach yourself from Alice for even thirty seconds you would have noticed that.

Jasper bowed his head sheepishly. "Yeah, about that, I'm really sorry. It's the only class we have together and I get a little… distracted. I didn't even know Bella was in that class."

"Edward, look at me," Bella pleaded as she crouched next to him on the floor. "Please, tell me what's going on."

Edward whipped his head up as the front door banged open.

"Emmett! Thank god," Bella said as the boy barged into the house. "Something's wrong with Edward, he's freaking out."

"Emmett! I called your father. We need to get Edward to calm down," Esme called from the next room.

"Edward?" Emmett ran over to where Edward was trying to get up from the floor and held him down in place. "Edward, you have to stay still. You have to talk to me and tell me what you see."

"Em? What are you doing home?" Edward said, still looking around the room wildly. Esme was crying in the doorframe, visibly trembling as she watched her eldest son restrain her youngest. Bella was crying, shocked.

"I'm worried about you. You just left," Emmett told him, his voice stern. "Tell me what you see, Edward. Tell me exactly what is going on here."

"I brought Bella home," Edward started, struggling slightly against his brother's iron grip. "I brought her home to meet mom, I love her, but she's not real. The notes, it's all the same writing. She's not here. Mom can't see her."

"Mom?" Emmett tightened her grip.

"She's not real," Edward gasped, the tears sliding down his cheeks. "I thought I loved her, but she's not real. I tried to introduce her to mom, but she can't see her because she's not real. I'm still sick."

"Fuck," Emmett cursed under his breath. "Listen to me, Edward. Bella is real. Bella is here and I can see her, okay? She's kneeling beside you and crying because you're scaring her."

Edward looked up in Bella's direction, seeing her tear-streaked face. "I see her too," Emmett assured him. "Bella's real."

"The notes are real too," Bella whispered softly. "I always thought our writing was the same. I didn't realize you would think it wasn't real. It all happened. I'm here and I love you."

"Mom!" Edward screamed, needing her here. Why would she do this to him? Why would she try to convince him that Bella wasn't real? "MOM!"

"Mom's dead, Edward," Emmett growled firmly. "She died February 3rd, 2008 of an aneurism in her office in Chicago. You know that."

"No," Edward shook his head. "Why would you say that, Em? Why would you say that about her?"

"Because it's the truth. She's dead," Emmett spoke calmly but his arms remained tightly wrapped around his younger brother. "Bella, I need you go to the phone in the kitchen. My father's direct line is listed on a piece of paper taped to the wall above it. Phone him and tell him we need an ambulance because Edward is having an episode."

"Alright," Bella said with a shaky voice before disappearing into the kitchen.

"It's going to be okay, Edward," Emmett said in his most soothing voice, but Edward wasn't listening. He was too busy trying to piece the past few months together. It was impossible. He couldn't tell the difference between reality and delusion anymore. He didn't know who, or what, to believe.

"He's coming with the ambulance," Bella called from the kitchen and she hurried back into the room.

Edward managed to move himself onto his knees, though Emmett wouldn't let him move any further, his grip firm from behind where his arms were locked in an unbreakable hold. His mother was nowhere to be seen.

Bella straddled his legs, pulling herself flush to his body – a pose that would have been provocative under normal circumstances, but this was far from normal. She gripped him tightly and pulled him into herself. "I'm here, Edward. I'm real. I'm here and I'm not going. You can feel me because I'm real."

The sound of sirens grew unbearably loud and Edward was vaguely aware as they stormed into the room, pulling Bella and Emmett away from him as they strapped him down onto the gurney. Their hands were far rougher than his girlfriend's or his brother's had been.

"What's going on?" Carlisle demanded, running into the room.

"Edward thinks he sees mom," Emmett explained. "He didn't think Bella was real."

Dr. Cullen cursed under his breath as he made his way over to the gurney being loaded into the ambulance. "I'm sorry, Edward. I've been so distracted with work, I didn't see the signs. I didn't make sure you were taking your medication."

"I don't need medication," Edward screamed, thrashing against the bonds that held him down. He wanted to see Bella, he needed more proof she was real. He needed proof.

"I'm sorry, but I have to do this before you hurt yourself," his father apologized as he stuck the needle into Edward's thigh. "It's just a sedative. You'll be fine."

Edward struggled as the ice-cold feeling spread through his leg to the rest of his body and collapsed against the pillow as they closed the doors of the ambulance.

"Hi, Edward," Bella smiled from the doorway. "How are you?"

"Better, I think," Edward answered, giving her a shy wave. He looked sheepishly around the sterile surroundings of his hospital room. He wasn't used to anyone outside of his family seeing him here, like this. He was thankful he'd thought to change out of the hospital's hideous cotton pants and top before she'd arrived.

"Hey man, what's up?" he heard Jasper call as he entered, Alice in tow behind him with her usual beaming smile unfalteringly perfect on her face. "We missed you."

"I brought you something," Alice beamed, thrusting something soft and green into his hands. "I saw the wool and it was just incredible how close to your eye colour it is. It'll bring out your pretty eyes."

Edward unrolled the soft green cloth and saw that it was a long, sea green scarf that did look remarkably close to the colour of his eyes. "Thanks, Alice."

"I figured you'd need it," Alice smiled. "It's so cold out! I've never seen this much snow so early in December."

"I made you something too," Bella said, sitting down on the bed next to Edward and taking his hand in hers. "Some Christmas cookies. Bella Swan top secret recipe to-die-for shortbread cookies. I didn't bring them here because it would be unfair to all the people who are stuck with hospital food tonight."

"You ready to go home, bro?" Emmett asked from the foot of the bed. Carlisle stood behind him and tossed Edward his wool coat.

"Come on, son. It's time to go home."

Edward pulled his coat on and walked out of the psych ward room without looking back. It took all his will power not to run to the car as they made their way through the snow-covered parking lot of the hospital.

He sat down in the back of his father's Audi, smiling as Bella waved goodbye to Jasper and Alice – they were returning to Forks in Jasper's vintage, rusted, blue VW van – and sat down in the seat next to his, taking his hand in hers and squeezing tightly.

"I'm scared," he whispered to her, peeking to the front seat to make sure his family couldn't hear him. "What if it happens again?"

"Then I'll bring you back," Bella assured him, keeping her voice down. "And even if it does, it'll be okay because we're here for you. All of us will always be here for you. We love you. I love you."

"I love you, too," Edward whispered back, kissing her cheek.

"Rule number one of the dadmobile," Carlisle said from the driver's seat and Edward saw the tell-tale flash of blue in the rear-view mirror. "No PDA in the dadmobile."

"You're such a moment ruiner," Emmett chuckled from the front seat before turning to peer at his little brother and the brunette in the back seat. "But seriously. I don't get car sick or anything, but I may not be able to control any reaction to seeing my little bro getting any kind of action. This is a hands-off zone, Swan."

Bella blushed crimson, but she laughed as Carlisle pulled out of the hospital.

Edward watched the utilitarian shape of the hospital shrink into the distance behind him as they began the drive back to Forks.

Things would be difficult and he'd probably break down again. He was still trying to deal with the reality of his mother's death – a fact made increasingly difficult by the elaborate delusions he'd created fueled by fierce denial of reality – but his feet were firmly grounded now. The doctors had been more thorough this time. The first two times he'd been hospitalized, he'd separated himself from the truth. He'd given the answers he knew the therapists had wanted to hear, but he'd never believed the words. They were elaborate stories and lies that they tested him on, but he hadn't seen the truth in what he'd said.

This time he knew and there was no escaping it. His mother had died over a year before, and he had to grieve for her anew.

This time he hadn't been alone. Bella had been there every step of the way, giving him strength when he thought he'd had none. His friends had visited him, embracing him and loving him when he feared they would abandon him. His brother and his father had grown closer to him than ever, the three Cullen men realizing that they needed each other to get through the loss of the woman they loved most.

It wouldn't be easy, but with the love and support of his family, friends, and Bella, Edward knew he could make it through this and be strong, healthy, and loved.

"Hey there."

Edward looked up toward his bedroom door, his brain clearing from the fog of reflection. "Bella!"

"What are you up to?" She asked, moving into his room and flopping unceremoniously onto his bed beside him. She picked up the auto magazine on his bed, flipping through it disinterestedly for a few seconds before tossing it back on the comforter.

"Just thinking, and searching for the other half of this pair of socks," he said, holding up the wool sock in his hand. "I swear, two went in the drawer, but only one came out."

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "Stand back and watch the master at work. Honestly, some times you are completely hopeless, Edward."

She opened the sock drawer and rooted through it but there was no lone wool sock to be found. Edward covertly admired the roundness of her backside, still amazed at how perfect Bella seemed to be.

"Well, it's not in here," she grumbled, sitting back on her heels.

"I told you it wasn't," Edward rolled his eyes.

"Maybe it's under the bed?" Bella mused as she peeked under the bed. "Voila!"

Edward laughed as she handed him two socks from beneath the bed, obviously kicked under when he was sorting his clean laundry. "Two? You mean I have to find another lonely sock?"

"Later," Bella smiled, pulling the socks from his hands. She sat back down on the bed and leaned in to Edward, kissing him softly. He responded enthusiastically, running his fingers through her hair as he deepened the kiss.

"How did I get so lucky?" Bella murmured as she snuggled further into Edward's arms. "I'll always remember the day I saw you in biology. You had the face of an angel, devilishly misbehaved hair, and the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I nearly swooned when I found out you were smart, kind, and creative as the cherry on the sundae."

"I'm the one who's lucky," Edward smiled, wrapping his arms tighter. "You're my guardian angel, sent to save me from myself. A guardian angel who's managed to sneak into the forbidden zone, I might add."

"Shh," Bella giggled, kissing his neck in a way that made his eyes flutter closed and his body tense in all the right ways. "If we're quiet they'll never know."

Edward let himself relax and enjoy being a teenage boy alone in his room with the girl of his dreams for a few minutes longer. When their moans of pleasure began to get louder and their hands had grown far bolder than they should be, Edward forced himself to slow down and pull away from Bella.

"You and your rules," she sighed mockingly.

"One of us has to behave," Edward winked. "And sneaking into my room when my entire family could burst in is not the time to start breaking rules. You didn't even close the door."

"Le sigh," Bella laughed. "Alright, alright, I'll behave."

"Well let's not get ahead of ourselves," Edward smirked, pulling Bella in for another kiss before pulling both of them to their feet. "You ready to go to the movies?"

"Yep," she smiled, her cheeks still flushed. "Jazz and Alice said they'd meet us there."

"Great."

"I'm coming upstairs in exactly 5 seconds and Bella better not be in your bedroom when I get up there," a deep voice called from the first floor.

"Busted," Bella groaned. "I didn't think he heard me come in."

"He hears everything," Edward frowned. "Better get moving before we listen to 'The Birds and the Bees with Dr. Cullen' again."

The two left quickly, hand in hand.

Edward looked down at the petite brunette and smiled. Bella was his one, of that he was certain. She would always be there for him and he would do everything in his power to always be there for her. His past had been rough, but with her unwavering support and that of his friends, he would finally be able to move forward and truly live his life once more.