|Take My Hand, Hold It Tight
Author: moonswirl PM
Gleekathon, day twenty-eight: After Finn finds out the baby isn't his, Rachel talks him down.Rated: Fiction K - English - Drama/Romance - Finn H. & Rachel B. - Words: 1,365 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11-18-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5518805
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
So the hiatus is over, I did my twenty-one ficlets and all... but I didn't want to stop ;) So I'm not! I want to see how long I can keep this up, one every day, so off we go :)
"Take My Hand, Hold It Tight"
Rachel had stepped out of Glee practice for just a minute, to go to the bathroom. She'd left a calm room but, as she came out into the hall, she could hear shouting. She frowned, nearing the door. Before she could reach it, Finn came stomping out.
When he saw her there, he halted just a second, and he continued on. She watched him go for a second, frozen by the mix of emotions on his face. When she snapped out of it, she moved to follow.
As she reached him, he was trying to open the door to get outside, but he was so upset even a simple task was too much. Rachel moved in next to him, pulling his hands, clumsy with frustration, away from the handle before opening it for him. He didn't speak, but he gave her a look before walking out of the now open door. Rachel followed.
Finn took a couple deep breaths of the fresh air, having felt his lungs failing him back inside. His feet didn't know where to take him, so he sat on the nearest bench he found.
Rachel came to stand in front of him. After a moment, she moved to sit at his side. She was as mute as he was for a while, until she finally spoke up. "Are you okay?" He didn't reply. Of course, he wasn't okay. She'd seen that already, but she had to ask. "What happened?"
He still didn't reply. He rubbed at his eyes, left his hand over his head. He could only remain trapped in that instant, that moment of revelation he'd experienced in the rehearsal room.
"Finn… whatever it is, you can talk to me about it," Rachel tried, needing to know what was wrong with him. She couldn't see him like this and do nothing. She saw him lift his head, still looking ahead.
"She lied…" were the first words he managed to speak. Rachel frowned, no closer to understanding what was happening. "She lied…" he repeated, dumbfounded.
"Who?" Rachel asked, hoping to keep him from just repeating those two words over and over.
"Quinn," he finally expanded, finally looked to Rachel. "Quinn lied." He looked down, retelling himself in telling her and renewing the emotion flux. Rachel tried to meet his eyes, but his head remained bowed and she couldn't see… was he crying?
"Lied about what?" she tried to coax him after a moment. He shook his head, and she thought he meant he couldn't or wouldn't tell her. But then he spoke, his voice filled with… disappointment, confusion, shock, but no true anger.
"It's not… mine," he continued to shake his head. "She lied," he returned to his first words.
Rachel now had her turn to react with shock, leaving Finn to rest in the silence, to consider… reconsider… everything. She didn't know what to think at first… too much at once. She tried to understand why she would do it, tell him that.
"Are you sure?" she tried. He didn't speak, but he didn't have to – he was sure. Did she know all along? Was it just a doubt, a possibility? Had she believed in her heart of hearts that it was Finn until…
At first, when she'd found out about Quinn being pregnant, the idea of her having slept with Finn despite ruling over the celibacy club was one thing… now it was two… She didn't assume to know Quinn, but still…
'It's going to be okay,' she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure enough to endorse the sentiment. So instead… "What are you going to do?"
"I… I don't know. You know, I keep replaying it in my head. She wasn't going to tell me, not on purpose. It slipped… she was just going to let me go on believing… But what did it matter, right? She's going to give it up anyway," he sighed.
Rachel hesitated. She didn't know if she got further involved or just walk away. She cared for Finn… cared for him more than most people she cared about. And though it was a fledgling of a friendship, she was not indifferent to Quinn. All of those reasons… they were arguments for and against both positions – involvement and withdrawal.
The decision on the matter was sidelined as she thought about something, remembered… she remembered sitting in the bleachers with Puck. She remembered her realization, that Puck liked Quinn, and her asking him about it. Did it mean…
Looking at Finn, she knew he was still in shock from what he'd learned. She wasn't sure what would happen once he broke out of his daze.
"I don't… understand," Finn's words brought her back.
"What don't…" she paused when he got up, turned to face her.
"If it's not mine…" she looked down to her hands… that question…
She could lose him if he found out she'd known something and didn't tell him… she could lose him if she did tell him… damned if she did, damned if she didn't.
"Do you know?" She looked up.
"What?" she tried not to sound nervous.
"Rachel, do you know who it is?" She shook her head as she stood.
"You need to talk to Quinn." He looked confused. "You've got a lot to figure out, and I'm not going to be put in the middle of it," she tried to sound confident but still show she cared.
"Rachel, please," he begged, taking a step toward her. She put a hand up to his chest to stop him where he stood.
"Please don't make me do this," she looked up into his eyes with her own plea. She could see his urgency flatten, his energy going with it. He went to sit again. After a moment, she went to sit at his side once again.
"I should feel relieved, shouldn't I? That… I'm 'off the hook…'" he pronounced. His face did not show the joy that would be there if that were the case.
"You cared about it, didn't you?" Rachel asked softly. Finn looked at her.
"Not 'it..' She… a girl." He took a pause, considering what she said. "I did… I know it's crazy…"
"It's not crazy," she gave him an encouraging smile.
"What do I do?" he gave her a look, begging for her to give him some kind of solution. She grasped his hand, making him look at her.
"Talk to her," she nodded. "Whatever happens… you can always come to me, you know that, right?" he nodded.
"What if I get her upset and something happens to the baby?"
"You'll do fine," she promised him. He looked down to their joined hands. He felt calmer.
"I hate that it all has to be so complicated." She looked to the hands, too.
After a moment, he gave her hand a squeeze and let go, getting up. Turning back toward the door, he felt hesitation creep up on him again. But he took Rachel's words, carried them with him.
She watched him go back inside. When he was gone, she got up, moving to leave. She didn't need to be there for whatever came next. Part of her knew she'd done right to allow things to be resolved without her interference. Another part, the one that didn't mind coming off a little selfish because of how she felt for Finn wondered if she hadn't just destroyed her first viable chance with Finn.
No, this was how it should be… if she and Finn belonged together, it would happen the right way… not like this.