Stupid Cupid

Sakura Haruno stared at the book as though it held the secrets to life…which to her, it did. The book in her lap would be the key to her happiness, the key to every thing she desired. Somewhere amongst its pretty, pink pages rested a ritual that would allow her to obtain the most amazing treasure known to womankind:

Sasuke Uchiha's heart.

Normally, Sakura would've scoffed at the idea of a hoodoo voodoo ritual giving her the prize she craved to possess. But after twelve years of trying every trick in her feminine arsenal, she was desperate.

Flipping through the powder pink book whose cover proclaimed to satisfy customers one hundred percent of the time, Sakura came to a page in the middle of the book. Tucked away in the bottom corner of the page was a small article written in loopy print with a title that simply said, "For Extreme Cases Only". Smoothing out the page, Sakura read and re-read the page hungrily, before dumping out the shopping bag that rested at her feet onto her bed. She gently touched each ingredient as she double-checked the list found in the book.

"Book, candles, basil, lemon balm, clove, cinnamon, catnip," she listed, fingers dancing over the herbs and items reverently.

She slid from her bed onto the floor and set the book down to the side. She took the two pink candles, tore off the cellophane and set them down. She pulled a bright pink strand of hair from her own head and set it down beside the candle on her left before grabbing a small box and extracting a dark strand of hair from within. She set the lock of black hair down beside the candle on her right before lighting both candles. Sakura then picked up both strands of hair and, with a quick prayer for luck, dropped them both into the flame of their respective candle.

"Most precious lord Eros, gentle and wonderful God of Love, please help me reach out to the one I adore," Sakura read from the book.

She took the lemon balm and rubbed the leaves over her arms, her neck, her cheeks, her lips, and her heart. "I anoint myself with this balm for love, success, and to heal the hurt I have felt for being denied my love."

She took the basil leaves and the catnip and crushed them between her fingers before throwing them atop the candles. "I sprinkle the herbs for love and luck over the flames in my heart in hopes that you, my almighty Lord, will help me reach out to the one I adore."

Sakura took the clove and cinnamon, both symbolizing love and lust, and began doing the same as she did for the other herbs. "Even when he turns from me, I love him. Even when I am rejected, scorned, ridiculed, I love him. Help me reach out to the one I adore."

With the last two herbs added to the fire, soft tendrils of smoke began to rise from the two candles, curling and twisting around each other in a mystical dance. Sakura brought her hands to rest over her heart and spoke the final words of the ritual:

"I humbly come to thee, Eros, son of love and lust, and pray for your guidance. Bring the man I love to me. Let me hold him, let me kiss him, let me love him, let him be mine."

Sakura took two leaves of lemon balm and used them to put out the candles. And thus, it was finally done. Sakura cleaned up and climbed into bed, anxious for tomorrow to come so she could see if her magic worked.

XXX

When Sakura woke the next morning, it was to a pair of bright, blue eyes staring down at her. She shrieked in surprise and without thinking, launched her fist straight into the man's nethers. Those bright eyes widened in pain as the man grunted and fell to the ground, clutching his aching groin tenderly.

"What. The. Hell?" he gasped, curling around himself to protect his sensitive bits from the pink girl who leapt out of bed.

"Who the fuck are you?" she growled, grabbing the lamp from her bedside table and wielding it like a sword.

"Kamadeva. Xochipilli. Amor. Eros. Cupid. You should know, you dragged me here," the man groaned, stiffly standing from his huddled position.

"What?"

The man finally straightened and stared at her with those soulful blue eyes. "I'm the fucking God of Love. Don't matter what you call me, I do what I do for everyone."

"T-The God of L-Love?" Sakura gasped, dropping the lamp to the carpet.

The man rolled his eyes. "What did you think the ritual would do? Make the man you want fall in love with you instantly? That's bullshit, no such thing. Only I can do that and thus, here I am."

Sakura watched as the man began to look around the room in curiosity and she took the opportunity to observe the "God of Love". He was not much taller than herself with a lean, tanned body that was open to her perusal due to the simple, white cloth that was draped over his slim hips. His blue eyes watched her warily from beneath a soft, golden fringe.

"You did call me, didn't you?" he asked, planting a hand on his hip in annoyance.

Sakura nodded quickly. "Yes, yes I did… You're just not what I expected."

The man rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you were expecting some cute, bouncing baby with a diaper and quiver filled with arrows. Well, sorry to disappoint honey, but I haven't been a baby for centuries."

Sakura nodded slowly, "So, you're going to help me, right?"

The God of Love sighed, "Well, you summoned me, so I kind of have to. It's in my contract. You can call me Naruto, by the way. The other Gods call me that as a joke since I love to eat human ramen. You wouldn't happen to have any, would you?"

Sakura nodded and led Naruto downstairs to the kitchen. "So, there are other Gods? Besides you, I mean."

"Of course there are," Naruto replied, sitting down as the young woman began a pot of instant ramen. "We've just all kind of faded into obscurity as technology overruled religion. And after all this is over, you'll forget all about me and anything I tell you."

"Well, as long as I get Sasuke, that's ok," Sakura replied, pouring the noodles into a bowl for the God.

"Sasuke? Is he the guy you want?" Naruto asked, reaching for the bowl and chopsticks handed to him.

Sakura nodded dreamily and Naruto rolled his eyes, starting in on the steaming ramen. "So tell me about him."

"Have you ever been in love?" Sakura asked.

Naruto snorted. "Me? The God of Love actually in love? Nope, never gonna happen."

Sakura frowned."Why not?"

"Don't worry about me. Tell me about your beau," Naruto prodded, slurping up some noodles.

The love-struck gleam returned to Sakura's eyes and she sat with a mournful sigh. "He is the definition of perfection. He is beautiful, smart, cool, and I've loved him almost my entire life. But he never shows any interest in anything except school work. I'd give anything to have him love me back."

XXX

Naruto continued eating his ramen, half listening to the young woman chattering away across from him. He didn't even need to listen to know that she was the exact same as all the others. All girls her age end up falling head over heels in lust with someone completely unfit for them and convince themselves it's love. They call Naruto in their desperation, and because of his contract, he forces some poor schlub to fall in love with them. Then, in a year or so the novelty wears off and the girls want out and the boys are stuck pining for someone who used them carelessly.

And Hinata wondered why Naruto hated the notion of falling in love. In his line of work, all Naruto ever sees are women who ruin the lives of innocent men. No matter how many nymphs the Goddess of Love introduces him to, Naruto always tells Hinata it'll never work.

"So how soon can you do it?" Sakura asked, interrupting his train of thought.

Naruto put down his chopsticks and turned to the expectant girl. "I'll come with you to school and observe him for a bit. When the right moment presents itself, I'll do it."

"How does it work, exactly?" Sakura asked.

Naruto pressed a palm to his chest, just above his heart, and a thin arrow appeared in his hand with a red tip. "With this. One shot and he'll be in love with you forever."

Naruto leaned forward and pointed the arrow at her. "Be sure this is what you want," he said seriously, "It can't be undone."

"This is the only thing I've wanted for years now," Sakura replied excitedly.

"Then go get dressed for school or we'll be late," Naruto said, resigned to his new task. Another couple to be doomed and another day in the life of the God of Love.

Sakura rushed back to her room to prepare for school and Naruto silently finished his ramen, cursing the day that the original God of Love moved on and passed the job on to him.

He never wanted this job.

He had been sitting in a field, watching his father's sheep graze, when a glowing young man appeared before him. Without even introducing himself, the glowing man apologized before thrusting the red-tipped arrow all the way into his chest. Naruto had blacked out and woke up some hours later with the Goddess of Love floating above him, ready with an explanation. Apparently, the original God of Love had fallen in love with a mortal and had pleaded with his sister, Hinata, for a way that he could live and die with his love. The Goddess of Love had told him that the only way to do so was to find a replacement and drive the arrow into the mortal's chest. Thus, Naruto had become the new God of Love.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Sakura called, bounding down the stairs.

Naruto stood with a sigh. "All right, let's do this."

XXX

Sakura climbed out of her car, trying her hardest not to jump with joy like a 3-year old on crack. She turned to Naruto and gaped at the God, who was still dressed in nothing but that short, white cloth covering his man parts.

"What the hell are you wearing, Naruto? You're practically naked!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "No one can see me but you. Right now, people think you're talking to thin air."

Sakura flushed pink as she spun around to see a few students staring at her as if she had just emerged from an alien spaceship. "You could've told me that before," she muttered.

Naruto shrugged and followed as Sakura walked out of the parking lot with her head held high, pretending that she hadn't just been caught talking to seemingly nothing.

"All right, all you gotta do is point me in your dream guy's direction and I'll trail him for a while to find out what he's like and when the opportune moment comes, I'll shoot him, he'll fall head over heels in love with you, and I'm gone."

Sakura nodded minutely to show she understood as she led him towards her locker. Spinning the combination and grabbing the text book she'd need for first block, Sakura suddenly caught sight of Sasuke at his locker across the hall.

"That's him," she hissed.

Naruto turned and got his first glimpse of Sasuke Uchiha and snorted. He knew the type very well. Sasuke was the type of guy Naruto encountered often; tall, dark, handsome, and completely unattainable. Men like Sasuke put on cold and indifferent fronts to try and dissuade girls from approaching, but all it does is attract them like flies to honey.

"Alright, I'll get to work. You probably won't see me after this," Naruto told her.

Sakura nodded,."Thanks for doing this."

Naruto scoffed, "I don't have a choice now, do I?"

With that, Naruto dissolved into the air and Sakura sighed dreamily. Soon, Sasuke Uchiha would be all hers and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Daydreaming about the perfect days to come, Sakura practically floated to her first class, not noticing when Naruto reappeared just behind the Uchiha.

XXX

Naruto followed Sasuke Uchiha all day. He trailed after the teenager from class to class, just watching how he interacted with the people around him. It was necessary for Naruto to study his mark before he worked his magic simply because he needed to know how much magic to put into the arrow. Sometimes, the boys already had a crush on the girls and just needed a nudge. Sometimes, they were unfeeling assholes, like the Uchiha, who would need a shit-load of magic just to get a reaction out of him.

The bell that signaled the end of the day rang and Naruto gave a sigh of relief. The sooner he did his job, the sooner he could go home. He followed Sasuke to his car, which just so happened to be across from Sakura's. Naruto watched as Sakura approached her car and as Sasuke turned in her direction. Naruto closed his eyes and focused on pulling the arrow from his body. When he opened his eyes, arrow twirling in between two fingers, he was shocked to find that Sasuke had disappeared from sight. The teen's car was still there, so he hadn't left, but he wasn't standing where Naruto had last seen him.

Suddenly, the arrow was yanked from Naruto's hands and Naruto spun with a gasp to come face to face with the dark, fathomless eyes that belonged to Sasuke Uchiha.

"Who the hell are you?"

Naruto blinked and his mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for breath. The mortal shouldn't have been able to see him. No one besides Sakura should've been able to see him. But Sasuke was staring right into his eyes, his lips fixed in a frown as he held the arrow in a tight grip.

"I asked you a question," Sasuke growled. "Who are you and why have you been following me all day? And for that matter, why am I the only one who noticed you?"

Naruto, still speechless, could do nothing but stare. A car horn sounding from behind shocked him from his stupor and he disappeared from the high school parking lot.

XXX

Reappearing in a random, empty field somewhere, Naruto raised his head to the sky.

"Hinata! I need help!" he called.

A loud crack sounded beside him and Naruto turned, expecting to see the dark beauty that was the Goddess of Love, but instead came face-to-face with the Gods' Messenger, Kakashi.

"Yo," the winged God greeted.

"Don't 'yo' me!" Naruto shrieked. "Where in Orochimaru's hell is Hinata? I have a huge problem!"

Kakashi held out his hands. "Whoa, whoa, calm down, Naruto. Hinata sent me. She knew you'd be angry and she didn't think she could handle you, so she sent me."

"Kakashi, I don't think you understand the gravity of this issue," Naruto insisted.

"A mortal besides your summoner saw you, right?"

"Yeah," Naruto replied, confused. "I thought no one else was supposed to be able to see me. This has never happened before."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, well, technically speaking only the person who summoned you is supposed to see you. But there is an exception to that rule."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Naruto asked.

"Your soul mate," was Kakashi's simple reply.

Silence reigned over the two deities before Naruto bellowed, "WHAT?"

Kakashi sighed. "The only mortal who can see you besides the one who summoned you is your mortal soul mate. What part of that is hard to understand?"

"The mortal soul mate part!" Naruto cried. "I thought as the God of Love I'd never have to deal with shit like this! Not to mention, I was born over a thousand years in the past! Wouldn't my soul mate have been born back then?"

Kakashi scoffed, "Everyone has a soul mate. Most people, Gods and mortals, just never find them. And your soul mate can be born at any time. Before you're born or after you die."

Naruto sighed, "So what now?"

"What happens next is up to you," Kakashi told him. "You can give up being a God and live as a mortal. Or, you can pretend this never happened, pierce your soul mate with the arrow so he falls in love with the girl and come back home."

"I'm gonna go with choice B," Naruto replied, turning to leave.

In the background, clouds darkened to black and thunder crashed loudly. Bolts of lightning flared evilly in the dark sky, making the field look like a cheap horror movie set.

Kakashi looked up, amused. "Tsunade's not happy with your choice."

Naruto looked up at the sky. "Shut up, you old hag! It's not your decision."

With that said, the God of Love disappeared once more, leaving Kakashi alone. Sighing, the Messenger God looked up at the still stormy sky.

"I'm not pleased with him either. He has no idea what he's trying to give up."

XXX

Naruto was at a loss of what to do.

He couldn't leave Earth until he finished his job and he very well couldn't do that while the mark had possession of his arrow. Obviously, the other Gods weren't going to be of assistance, so Naruto racked his brain trying to figure out what to do. For some reason, simply taking his arrow back from the boy wasn't an option. Naruto could tell from that single moment between them that the human was cunning and determined to get answers one way or another.

Sighing to himself, Naruto decided he may as well try and reason with the boy. So with that in mind, the God of Love concentrated on the magical signature of his arrow and disappeared.

When he opened his eyes, he was in a bedroom, standing directly in front of the teenager who was lounging on the bed with the arrow in his lap. The boy smirked when Naruto appeared in front of him.

"I was wondering when you would come," Sasuke drawled lazily.

Naruto scowled and grabbed the computer chair that was sitting in front of a desk nearby and plopped down. "What do you want?"

"Pardon me?" Sasuke asked.

"For the arrow," Naruto replied. "What do you want?"

"Let's start with who you are and what you were doing following me," the teen answered.

Naruto crossed his arms. "That's classified information."

Sasuke frowned and took the arrow in both hands, as if preparing to snap it in two. "I guess this isn't so important to you after all."

Naruto jumped up. "NO! DON'T!"

Sasuke smirked. "Then?"

The God of Love sighed and sat down. "My name is Naruto, and the reason I was following you was because I was ordered to."

"That's not the whole story, is it?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto closed his eyes in frustration and shook his head. "My name is Naruto, but most people know me as Cupid. Every few decades, some desperate girl finds the way to summon me and I come to Earth in order to make the boy of her dreams fall madly in love with her."

"Who summoned you?"

"Some girl named Sakura."

Sasuke groaned. "Of course…"

"Yeah, so you see, I kind of need that arrow. Without it, I can't return to the Holy Plane."

"Holy Plane?"

"It's the dimension, for lack of a better word, where gods, goddesses, demi-gods, and angels live."

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully, tapping the arrow against his palm. "So tell me why no one else saw you?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "The only human that can see me is the one who summoned me."

"I can see you," Sasuke pointed out.

"Yes, you are obviously some sort of mutation of the human race and the rules do not affect you," Naruto spat out. "Now, can I have my arrow back?"

Sasuke was silent for a bit before he said, "No."

"What?" Naruto screeched. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not about to let you make me fall in love with Sakura Haruno, or anyone else for that matter. And you're lying about why I can see you when no one else can."

Naruto threw up his hands. "What do I have to do? I need the damn arrow!"

Sasuke shrugged carelessly. "I'm not giving this back to you, so I guess you're just going to have get comfortable here on Earth."

Naruto stood angrily, the chair tipping over as an unnatural wind began blowing around, knocking things off of shelves and causing papers to fly about the room.

"Do you know who I am?" Naruto bellowed. "I'm a fucking God! With the power I have in my left nut I could destroy this entire continent! Give me my fucking arrow!"

Sasuke sat on the bed, virtually unruffled; the wind blew harmlessly around him even as it systematically destroyed his room. "You do realize, that you're going to clean this mess up, don't you?"

Naruto screamed his frustration to the other Gods and poofed away before he did something he would get in trouble for…again. Tsunade was still pissed at him for 'accidentally' sinking Atlantis.

XXX

Sasuke stared at the mess that had once been his room. He tossed the arrow onto his desk and began to clean up the trash on the floor before his mother got home. He couldn't exactly blame this on a God; hell, claiming that his non-existent dog ate his homework was a more believable excuse.

As he cleaned, Sasuke's thoughts centered on the beautiful deity and how expressive everything about him was. His entire body expressed just how angry he had been. His spiked, golden hair had moved around his face like blades of hay in a hurricane. His toned arms had been quivering with the urge to smite something or someone and Sasuke thought that the God's cheeks could not have turned redder than they did. But Naruto's eyes showed the most emotion. Sasuke could not believe how much feeling he could read in those eyes; anger, frustration, fear, desperation. Naruto was beautiful when he was angry.

"Humans are such messy creatures."

Sasuke jerked around in surprise at the voice that broke the silence in the room. "Who the hell are you?"

The silver-haired man grinned at him, his mismatched eyes twinkling as his bronze wings folded neatly behind him. "I am Kakashi, servant to the Gods. Actually, I'm more of a messenger boy; those lazy good-for-nothings make me fly back and forth doing all the dirty work."

"So why are you here?" Sasuke asked, reaching behind him to grab Naruto's arrow.

Kakashi smirked when he saw the bit of wood. "Don't worry; I'm not here to take it from you. I'm not serving Naruto, at the moment."

"Who do you serve?"

"At the moment, I am under the orders of Tsunade, the head of the Holy Plane. Naruto has displeased her," Kakashi told him, cleaning the room with a single wave of his hand.

"What did he do?" Sasuke asked, sitting down on his freshly made bed.

Kakashi's smirk dropped and his face contorted in sadness. "Naruto is denying his fate. He has found something so precious and rare and yet, he is throwing it aside as if it were trash."

"What?"

"Did he tell you why you could see him?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke shook his head and Kakashi sighed.

"When a woman is pregnant, she is visited at some point in her pregnancy by Shizune, the Goddess of Life and Fertility," Kakashi began. "Shizune gives every infant a soul and Orochimaru, the God of Death, takes the soul at death. However, the soul that is given is actually half of a whole soul. The other half is put in another person. The two people who share the halves of a single soul are known as soul mates; perfect for one another in every way. Soul mates can be born at different times and anywhere around the globe, thus it is very difficult, even nigh impossible, to meet one's soul mate."

"So, Naruto found his soul mate?" Sasuke asked.

Kakashi smirked and gave him a pointed look.

Sasuke looked down at the arrow in his hands. "I'm Naruto's soul mate?"

XXX

The next day, Sakura was sauntering down the halls of her school, desperately searching for Sasuke. She was sure that Naruto had done his job that day in the parking lot and now she needed to meet with her probably frantic love so they could start their life together. Stopping in front of Sasuke's locker, Sakura fluffed her hair and pulled her blouse down to show a bit more cleavage. She leaned up against the locker and plastered a sultry smile on her lips. She was ready.

"Sakura! Can I have a quick word?"

Before she could speak, Sakura was dragged down the hall by the God of Love and pushed into an empty classroom. She turned to yell at him for such harsh treatment, but froze. Naruto was dressed in a pair of black pants, a skin-tight red shirt, and a black leather jacket.

"What happened to your loin cloth?" she asked, her eyes still roaming his body.

Naruto sighed, "I couldn't exactly be seen in public like that."

"No one can see you but me," Sakura pointed out.

Naruto chuckled nervously. "Yeah, about that, I'm having a bit of a problem, so I have to resort to desperate measures."

"Wait," Sakura growled. "You mean to say that he isn't in love with me?"

"Not yet," Naruto hastened to explain as a vein in Sakura's forehead began to jump. "Don't worry though; I'll get the job done."

Sakura scowled at him and stalked out of the room, leaving the God behind to sigh in relief. Mortal or immortal, women were frightening things.

"And Jiraiya wonders why I'm gay," Naruto murmured, referring to the God of Wine and Excess.

Naruto snapped his fingers and a school bag appeared at his feet. He scooped it up and headed towards the office to tell them their new exchange student had arrived.

He pushed the office door open and went up to the counter where a young woman with curly black hair and reddish-brown eyes was filing papers.

"Excuse me," he said, catching her attention. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the exchange student from Suna High School."

The lady smiled. "Ah yes, we were expecting you. My name is Kurenai Yuhi and I am the Assistant Principal of Konoha High." She reached behind her for a thin manila folder and pulled out several sheets of paper. "This is your schedule and a map to find your classes. Take this sheet with you and have all your teachers sign it. At the end of the day, bring that back to me or whoever else is here."

"Thank you," Naruto said, taking the papers.

"You're welcome. Enjoy your first day."

XXX

Sasuke walked into his first class, his mind in the clouds, or more specifically, on the Gods that up until yesterday he had never believed in. He sat down and pulled out his notebook, though he doubted he'd write any sort of notes. History wasn't a subject he had a hard time in. Anything he missed in lecture, he could just read in the textbook.

The rest of the class filed in, chattering about frivolous teenager things like parties, shopping, and celebrities. Sasuke tuned them out like he normally did, even as several fan-girls walked by, giggling and fluttering their eyelashes.

The teacher, a frail old man named Sarutobi, entered the room, his walking stick making a sharp 'click' with each step. By the time he reached the desk, the entire class had quieted down. Clearing his throat, Sarutobi opened his roll book and pulled a pen from his shirt pocket.

"Aburame, Shino."

"Here."

"Akimichi, Choji."

"Here!"

"Haruno, Sakura."

"Here, Sensei."

"Hyuuga, Ne—"

"Sorry I'm late!"

Sarutobi frowned and looked up from the roster to see a panting, blond boy at the door. "And you are?"

"Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki," he replied. "I'm new and I got lost."

"Hm, have a seat," Sarutobi ordered, marking down the new name on his roster, before he continued calling names.

Naruto scanned the class, studiously ignoring Sasuke who was smirking at him and Sakura, who was glaring at him, before sitting down in the only empty seat two rows away from Sasuke. Naruto plopped down and shoved his bag under his desk before he crossed his arms and buried his head in them.

"Hey."

Naruto ignored the voice coming from his left. He hated teenagers…

"Hey."

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, mentally sending a prayer to Tsunade that the teen would shut up. Then again, the old hag was pissed at him so his prayer was going to be thrown right back at him with a giant 'FUCK YOU'.

"Pssssst…"

Naruto growled under his breath and lifted his head to glare at the kid sitting next to him. "What?"

The boy grinned, showing off the two red triangles tattooed into his cheeks. "Just wanted to say hello."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Piss off."

"Boys!" Sarutobi called, smacking a ruler against his desk to further draw attention to himself. "Unless you are discussing the fall of the Roman Empire, I suggest you pay attention. Inuzuka, you know better, and new kid, you'll learn."

Naruto groaned and smacked his forehead against his desk as the old man began lecturing about an era where he had actually been alive during. God, how the stories got so twisted with time…

XXX

The sound of the shrill bell ringing woke Naruto from his slumber and with a quick glance around, he noticed he wasn't the only one; nearly everyone else had fallen asleep as well. Sarutobi waved everyone out of the room and Naruto grabbed his bag and was the first to the door when he remembered the paper he had to have his teacher sign. Backtracking to the old man's desk, Naruto handed him the paper and waited for him to read it over and sign it.

Breathing a sigh of relief when Sarutobi handed the paper back to him, Naruto tucked it away and headed for the door.

Only to come face to face with Sasuke.

Stumbling back lest he plough into the teen, Naruto scowled up at him. "What do you want?"

Sasuke smirked and wrapped his arm around Naruto's tense shoulders, pulling the God along to walk with him. "Why do you not like me, Naruto?"

Naruto shoved Sasuke's arm off, not even pausing to examine the reason his heart had suddenly quickened in his chest. "You are the one keeping me here. I could've been home by now."

"Yes, you could've," Sasuke agreed. "But I'm not going to let you choose the person I'm to fall in love with, especially someone like Sakura."

"What's wrong with Sakura?" Naruto asked, curious.

"She's a girl, that's what wrong. They're all horrid, vain creatures."

Naruto snorted. "Good point."

"And you still want to make me love her?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto stuck his hands in his pockets. "I don't have a choice. If I had a choice, I would never have become the God of Love. I would have died centuries ago."

Sasuke frowned and grabbed Naruto's hand. He led the God down a quickly emptying hallway, through an unmarked door, and up a flight of stairs. A final door revealed the school's rooftop, which overlooked a good part of the surrounding city.

Naruto chuckled as he sat down. "My first day of school and I'm already skipping."

Sasuke sat beside him. "What do you mean you wouldn't have chosen to become the God of Love? Aren't you born a God?"

Naruto shook his head. "Most of the Gods around now-a-days are created. The old Gods were born into their positions, but slowly they all were tired of ruling a race of creatures that either hated them or forgot they existed. So they found replacements and moved on."

"You can do that?"

Naruto shrugged. "For each God it's different. For example, the real Cupid couldn't give up his position until he fell in love. The same rule applies for me and the Goddess of Love."

"So you were chosen…why?"

"Convenience, I suppose," Naruto replied. "I don't really know why I was chosen."

Sasuke eyed him. "You hate it."

"Yep."

"And yet, you have the chance to give it up," Sasuke pointed out.

Naruto stiffened. "What do you mean?"

Sasuke straddled Naruto swiftly and pinned him beneath him, "I mean that Kakashi came to me and told me why I could see you when no one else could. I'm your soul mate and you still want to force me to fall in love with someone else. Why?"

Naruto growled and shoved the human off him. "Fuck you! It's none of your business!"

"Like hell it's not!" Sasuke hissed, standing. "I'm your soul mate, which means you're mine! I don't want to be bound to some fucking fan-girl! Not when I'm meant to be with someone better!"

Naruto laughed bitterly. "Better? Love is always going to be painful, no matter who you're with. Love causes nothing but pain because it doesn't last. At least if it's forced love it will hurt less than to have real love ripped from you."

"How would you know? You've never been in love," Sasuke snipped.

Naruto scowled. "No, I haven't, and I don't intend to start with a pathetic human like you."

Naruto disappeared from the school roof, leaving Sasuke behind. The Uchiha took a deep breath to calm his emotions and sat down, reaching for his bag. He unzipped it and pulled out the arrow he hadn't dared to leave at home. Sasuke Uchiha would not be tied to Sakura for the rest of his life, especially when he was destined for the vibrant and beautiful Naruto.

Naruto will be his and, damn it, they would live happily ever after.

XXX

Hinata watched from the Holy Plane as her best friend and brother-figure disappeared from the human school and went to sulk. She was not the original Goddess of Love. Much like Naruto, she had been selected to fill in the role once Aphrodite wanted to move on. However, unlike Naruto, she was happy in her position. Not having been able to find love when she was human, she enjoyed helping others find love and Naruto's case was no exception. Hinata wanted nothing more than to see her beloved brother happy with the person he was meant for.

Of course, Naruto was one of the most stubborn people Hinata had ever met and she knew from the start it would not be easy. Sighing softly, Hinata turned her attention to the mortal who held the other half of Naruto's soul.

Sasuke Uchiha was not the first person Hinata would have chosen for Naruto. Nor the second. Nor the third. In fact, Hinata probably would have completely skipped over Sasuke Uchiha as a candidate for Naruto's mate. However, Hinata observed the young man and believed that perhaps he was better for her brother than she expected. Sasuke was the sort of person who would be able to care for Naruto if he chose to give up his immortal life. Sasuke had the ability and strength to care for Naruto's needs as well as the knowledge on how to survive in the fast paced, materialistic world Earth had become. Sasuke was everything Naruto was not. They completed each other and while one could, in theory, survive without the other, life would be incomplete. This is why Hinata felt the need to try and make Naruto see reason. But first, she needed to make sure the human knew what to expect if he wanted Naruto as his own.

Eyes closed, Hinata focused on Naruto's human and disappeared from the Holy Plane.

XXX

Sasuke was not in the mood to go to the rest of his classes. He plopped down and rested against the rooftop door, content in simply puzzling over his problem with Naruto. He wasn't able to get far in his thinking when a light gust blew over him, carrying with it several dozen roses petals. Sasuke batted the petals from his face, but froze when he noticed a lovely, petite woman dressed in a pale blue kimono standing before him. Her eyes were pale and fresh flowers were weaved in her long dark hair. She glowed with an amazing presence that Sasuke had only felt twice before.

She must be a Goddess.

"Hello, Sasuke Uchiha," she greeted, smoothing down the front of her kimono.

"You have me at a disadvantage," Sasuke said, standing up, "You know my name and I have no idea what yours is."

"I am Hinata, the Goddess of Love," she replied.

Sasuke bowed his head. "It is an honor."

Hinata smiled at him. "I have come to speak to you of Naruto."

"Naruto wants nothing to do with me," Sasuke replied.

Hinata nodded. "Yes, I know, but I also know the reason why. If you are serious about Naruto then there are things you must know about him and the way he is."

"What do you mean?"

"Naruto used to be a human," Hinata began. "So was I. I was born in the times of feudal Japan and was chosen by the Goddess Aphrodite to be her successor. Naruto was once the son of a simple sheep herder. Eros chose him to become God of Love in his stead.

"Please understand how difficult it was for him, being forced to act upon the whims of young, foolish women and binding innocent men to them. He watched for centuries as hundreds of men were forced unwillingly to love women they did not choose. And then, when those women were tired of the men, they cast them aside frivolously, leaving them broken and still loving those women. Naruto grew bitter, watching as the love he was supposed to represent was treated like a sick, twisted game. Naruto grew to hate what the mortals had become, especially when they began to turn from religion and focus more on the advances in science and technology. Naruto doesn't believe that humans know what love is anymore."

XXX

He hated humans.

Naruto struggled to keep moving as the sea of humans flowed around him as he walked down the sidewalk.

Humans were nothing more than rude, prideful bags of flesh and water that thought they were the most amazing thing to ever grace the world. They were greedy and only always thought about themselves. There were very few humans that truly were generous and kind beings, and those few humans were slowly diminishing as the world turned into a place ruled by corporations who cared only about profit.

Naruto sighed and hitched his bag up over his shoulder.

Humans were once hard working and thoughtful. He remembered looking down on them from time to time to see them working to make something of the gifts the Gods gave them. The humans of the past knew how to be humble and grateful. These humans around him knew nothing of that. They were controlled by their technology and the need for more material goods to make their lives simpler. They cared nothing for their fellow man as long as they got what they wanted.

"Why are you so upset, Naruto?"

Naruto stiffened in shock and turned quickly to avoid crashing into the person coming up behind him.

"Watch it, asshole!" the man in a suit called out, walking away.

Naruto zigzagged through the crowd until he came to the opening of an alleyway. Eyes sweeping the space carefully, he called out hesitantly, "Hinata?"

A few rose petals fell from thin air and pale eyes stared up at him as the woman gently brushed her long, dark hair from her face.

"Naruto, you are so sad," the Goddess of Love murmured, gently touching Naruto's cheek.

Naruto closed his eyes. "I hate this."

Hinata smiled sadly. "You hate the humans on Earth and you hate being a God on the Holy Plane. What would make you happy, Naruto?"

"I—I don't know," he replied, pulling back from Hinata and leaning against a building.

"Why are you so against your soul mate?" Hinata asked.

"He's so – so human!" Naruto cried out. "He is everything I hate about humans! He is prideful, arrogant, crude–"

"He's human," Hinata said. "He has grown up in the world today where humans have forgotten the old ways, but that does not mean you should hate them. They do not know any better. They have lost faith and strive to live in the only way they can. Naruto, you were born in a different time, but you need to accept that Sasuke Uchiha is your soul mate. He can make you happy."

"I don't think so, Hinata. I don't think I can be happy in this world."

Hinata sighed. "If you would rather continue living alone and at the call of humans then by all means, make him love the girl. But Naruto, think seriously about this."

"Hinata," Naruto began. "I—"

Hinata raised a hand to quiet him. "It is your choice, Naruto. I will keep everyone in the Holy Plane from coming down to persuade you to do differently. Choose wisely, because when you do choose, it cannot be undone."

Hinata stepped forward and pressed a soft kiss on Naruto's cheek before she disappeared, leaving behind a small pile of petals. A breeze swept through the alley and the petals floated away, dancing along the unseen wind happily.

Naruto grit his teeth and let out a scream of unarticulated rage, slamming his fist against the wall behind him. He ignored the pain that bloomed from his knuckles and stalked from the alley.

XXX

The next day, Naruto walked into the human school and headed straight for his assigned locker. He had no idea how much longer he would need to be in the school so he decided he might as well pass the time learning what the instructors wanted him to.

Spinning the dial on the lock, Naruto unlocked it and pulled the door open. He froze when he saw his arrow, in perfect condition, sitting atop one of his school books with a folded note beside it. Glancing around to ensure no one was watching, Naruto snatched the note up and shut the door so no one would see the arrow. He didn't want it to get taken so soon after he got it back. Leaning against the lockers, Naruto unfolded the note:

I can't force you to accept the fact that I am your soul mate. If you wish to ignore it, then there is nothing I can do. I'm giving you your arrow back because I have decided that if I can't have you, I do not want to be left with the empty feeling I'm sure to have when you leave. I know we haven't known each other for more than a day, but when I first saw you I knew there was something special about you. I do not know what would have happened if we had a chance and I will probably forever wonder what it was about us that made us ideal for each other. But I hope that when you shoot me with your arrow the thoughts of my "love" for Sakura will help me forget you.

I have told Sakura to meet me on the roof of the school before class starts. There we both with be and so you can hit me with the arrow and be rid of me. You know the way to the roof.

—Sasuke

Naruto clenched the note in his fist. This was the chance he'd been waiting for. He had his arrow back and Sasuke and Sakura were in the same place waiting for him. He could be back at the Holy Plane in just a few minutes.

So why was his chest constricting at the very thought of leaving?

Naruto shook his head briefly and shoved the note into the pocket of his jeans. He turned and opened the locker to grab his arrow before shutting it and heading in the direction of the stairs that led to the roof. The closer and closer he got to the door, the faster his heart beat in his chest and the more his stomach turned in nervousness. When he reached the door, Naruto's mind was rapidly running through all his options and the consequences of them, ensuring what he wanted to do was the best thing to do.

When he finally made it to the top, he pushed the door open to reveal Sasuke leaning against the railing that surrounded the perimeter of the roof and Sakura standing primly near him staring at him with longing.

"So, we all ready to do this?" Naruto called, shutting the door behind him.

Sakura beamed brightly at him. "Yes, we've been waiting for you."

Naruto grinned. "Sorry to take so long. There were some technical difficulties earlier. I'm ready to do what I need to now."

Sasuke turned and stared at Naruto. The God met his eyes and they stared at each other briefly before Naruto tore his gaze away and ran a hand through his hair.

"All right, I need you both to stand in front of each other," he ordered.

Sasuke didn't move, so Sakura flounced over to him and stood in front of him with a brilliant smile on her lips. She was finally getting what she'd wanted for so long.

Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed in his last breath as a free man. If he couldn't have the person who he was meant for, why should he bother wandering through life with thoughts of what could have been plaguing him?

Naruto stood in between them, arrow in hand. "All right, this won't hurt a bit, promise."

Sasuke nodded wordlessly, staring just above Sakura's shoulder. He didn't want to look at Sakura's gleeful expression or Naruto's gentle, smiling one.

There was suddenly a choked gasp, but it didn't come from Sasuke. His gaze dropped down immediately to where Naruto's hand was wrapped around the arrow, which was shoved into Sakura's chest.

Sakura was staring at the arrow in surprise as Naruto pushed it all the way into her chest until it disappeared. Sakura's eyes flitted close as she fell unconscious and then just poofed out of sight.

Sasuke turned to Naruto, who was eyeing the spot where Sakura had stood. "What just happened?"

"I just passed on my title to her," Naruto replied, wiping his hands on his pants and starting to the door.

Sasuke stared after him. "What?"

Naruto opened the door and turned. "She is now Cupid and I am a full human. I will endure high school and college, learn to use technology, get a job, grow old and die."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, hurrying over to him.

"I thought about it and decided that I didn't want to be at the beck and call of humans anymore. Now I am free, and she'll have to deal with it," Naruto replied flippantly.

Sasuke grabbed his hand as he tried to move past. "Is that the real reason?"

Naruto eyed Sasuke thoughtfully before pulling his hand out of the Uchiha's. "You have one chance and if you mess it up, I'm gone."

Sasuke grinned uncharacteristically and pressed a swift kiss to Naruto's cheek. "I'll do my best."

Naruto crossed his arms and headed down the stairs. "See that you do."

XXX

Epilogue

The two men stumbled into the apartment, hands wandering over rumpled clothing and lips fused together. The door slammed shut behind them as the darker haired male was pushed up against the door by his partner, who was furiously trying to undo the buttons of his shirt.

Sasuke chuckled huskily as he shoved Naruto's hands away and yanked the shirt over his head. Naruto latched onto the smooth, pale column of Sasuke's neck as the Uchiha moaned softly in approval. Tan hands skittered over the flawless chest lightly sprinkled with dark hair and Naruto's lips glided down briefly to suck on a pink nipple.

"Fuck, Naruto," Sasuke groaned, shoving his blond lover away.

Naruto smirked at Sasuke. "We're both college graduates now. What should we do to celebrate?"

Sasuke unbuttoned his slacks and kicked off his shoes. "I don't know what you're going to do, but I'm going to fuck your ass raw."

"You gotta catch it first," Naruto called, bolting for the bedroom door.

Sasuke took off after Naruto only to have the door slammed in his face. He turned the knob and swore when it refused to open.

"Naruto!" he called, jiggling the doorknob.

"Hold on!" came the muffled shout by the former God.

Sasuke scowled at the door and leaned against it. He looked down at his softening erection and decided he might as well finish undressing. As he shoved his slacks to the floor and bent to pull off his socks, Sasuke's thoughts wandered to the past four years.

After Naruto gave up his position as God of Love, Sasuke helped him acclimate to the 21st century. He and Naruto graduated high school and were accepted to the same college. Naruto had majored in World History, given that he had spent so much time watching how the humans changed over the centuries. Sasuke had majored in pre-law and had gotten accepted to a very prestigious law school.

Their romantic relationship had taken a bit more time to get used to. Sasuke had never before been in a relationship with another male and his family did not take the news well. Naruto had had many problems with trust, but eventually, Sasuke won the blond over and the relationship had been pretty smooth as far as relationships go. Not to say that Naruto and Sasuke didn't argue. They did. Often. But they never let their arguments get the better of their relationship.

Plus, makeup sex was amazing.

As Sasuke's thoughts turned to some of the memorable sexual encounters between him and his blond, he heard Naruto call for him to enter the room. Sasuke turned the knob and peeked around the corner of the door to see one of the most dick-inspiring sights ever.

Naruto was bare as the day he was born and spread out on the soft cotton sheets of their bed, one hand behind his head and the other wrapped around his erect cock. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled coyly at Sasuke, his hand slowly running up and down his hardened flesh.

"Are you going to join me, Sasuke?" Naruto purred, rubbing his thumb over the tip.

Sasuke stepped into the bedroom, shut the door and leaned up against it, his eyes never leaving the activity at Naruto's groin. "I don't know, this show is too good to miss."

Naruto pouted, his second hand moving from behind his head to play with a nipple that had been pierced with a silver hoop a few years ago. "Are you sure? The more people, the more fun."

Sasuke smirked and let a hand slide down his hip to caress his own cock. "What, can't get the job done yourself?"

Naruto glared. "Oh, I can; I was just thinking of you."

"I'm fine right where I am," Sasuke replied, his hand leaving his groin.

Naruto shrugged. "Suit yourself; join in whenever you get tired of your pissing contest."

Sasuke loved this little game they sometimes played. They'd draw out the foreplay until one of them breaks and the actual intercourse happens. Normally, Naruto was the one who broke and would either beg Sasuke to fuck him or pushed him down to ride his cock himself. But by the look in Naruto's eye, Sasuke would be the one to break this time, so he would enjoy the sights and sounds for as long as he could.

Naruto closed his eyes and leaned his head back as the slow, gentle caresses shifted to firm strokes that brought forth soft moans to fall from Naruto's lips. The hand that had been rubbing the decorated nipple gently tweaked the nub to full hardness and then did the same with the other. That hand then danced down the length of Naruto's torso and swirled a bit in the golden curls at the base of his cock. With both hands, Naruto stroked his dick and played with his tip.

What a beautiful sight it was. His head thrown back as he lost himself in his self-pleasure, his cheeks flushed pink from the exertion, his lips cherry red from being bitten on, and his cock leaking for more attention. Sasuke's own dick was practically begging to go over and fuck his lover into the mattress, but the Uchiha loved the sight of his boyfriend in the throes of ecstasy.

The nimble fingers that were wrapped around the shaft left as one hand trailed up to be lavished by Naruto's tongue and the other ducked down to tug the lightly furred balls down to draw out the masturbation session. Naruto then bent his knees and planted both his feet on the bed so his legs were spread wide to showcase the action happening below. His cock, hard and throbbing, bobbed between his thighs and his cheeks were spread to reveal his hole which winked coyly at its favorite playmate.

Sasuke swallowed a few times as his mouth became dry, watching as Naruto slid two fingers, wet with saliva, down to his entrance and begin to play. The lewd sounds coming out of his little lover as he skimmed over his tight hole while simultaneously resuming the stroking of his cock were too racy even for porn stars. The breaking point for Sasuke was when Naruto opened his eyes to stare at him as he slipped his two fingers inside himself and moaned Sasuke's name.

Sasuke shoved himself away from the door and pounced onto the bed, jostling Naruto out of his bliss-induced haze.

"Decided to join me, Sasuke?" Naruto teased, his voice thick with desire and his eyes glistening in triumph.

Sasuke grinned. "Well, it looked liked you were having so much fun."

"Oh, I was," Naruto cooed, wrapping his arms around his lover's back and pulling him in between his legs. "But like I said, the more people, the more fun."

Sasuke groaned as Naruto's heated flesh met his own and he ducked down to seize those pouty, pink lips. Hips rocking against each other, Naruto welcomed Sasuke's body atop his and wriggled a bit catch Sasuke's dick in between his cheeks.

"Come on, Sasuke," Naruto murmured against the other's lips. "Stop making me wait."

"Always so impatient," Sasuke said, as he pulled away from Naruto and reached for the half-empty tube of lube on the bedside table.

"Says the guy who practically mounted me like a dog with a boner a few moments ago," Naruto replied, his hand creeping back down to play with his erection.

Sasuke smacked the hand away. "Don't touch what's mine, dobe."

"Then hurry up and take care of what's yours, teme."

Sasuke squeezed the lube out onto his dick and chucked it aside as Naruto began to spread it over the engorged organ himself. Sasuke bent down and pressed another kiss onto Naruto's lips as he positioned himself at Naruto's entrance.

"Ready?"

Naruto wriggled beneath him, "More than."

Sasuke slowly, teasingly, slipped the tip past the ring, which yielded with the ease that came with years of practice and familiarity. Sasuke pulled back so the hole closed again before pushing in once more, never pushing in more than just the head.

Naruto moaned and thrust his hips upwards to try and take more of Sasuke in, but the Uchiha held his hips down. "Why are you such a tease, Sasuke?"

"Because you love it," Sasuke replied, as he continued with his shallow thrusts, always giving Naruto a taste of what he wanted before pulling back. "You love the anticipation, never knowing what's going to happen. You love letting me lead and I love that you trust me enough to do so."

Naruto smiled gently and leaned up for a kiss which Sasuke happily bestowed upon him. While their tongues danced and their lips made love, Sasuke finally slid fully inside Naruto, causing the blond to arch up in surprise and break the kiss to call out Sasuke's name.

XXX

"Why do you torture yourself like this?"

Sakura turned away from the looking glass that allowed the Gods to watch what happened in the mortal world to face Hinata. Behind her, the image of Sasuke and Naruto intertwined in a passionate love-making session continued without its audience.

"I don't really know," the newly made Cupid replied.

"They were meant to be together, since the day Naruto was born several hundred years ago. Don't interfere."

Sakura sighed and crossed her arms. "Naruto stole him from me."

Hinata moved forward to embrace the younger woman. "Sakura, he was never yours. He was never meant to be. His soul and Naruto's were once one and now they have been reunited. Nothing, not even death, will separate them."

"Am I not meant to find love?"

Hinata smiled gently. "One day, you will be lucky enough to find your soul mate too. But you must let this go. If you do not, then you will simply become bitter and miss your chance at love."

"Why don't you have a soul mate?" Sakura asked.

"It's complicated," Hinata replied, looking away.

Sakura shrugged. "Whatever, I'm going to go find Ino and see if she can get me some of those hybrid flowers she made."

Hinata watched her go with a sad smile. "It's complicated because you are in love with another and cannot see what is right in front of you."

I'm back! I've also given in to darkalbino's requests *cough* threats *cough* and am using my account of Y!Gallery. If you're on please friend me because I love making new friends!

Anyways, I'm sorry for the long way between stories, but college suddenly picked up its pace and slammed two quizzes, a paper, a project, and a test at me all in the same week. I was like 'FUCK!' and I had to stop working on everything. But everything is calm again and I finish this story. So I hope you all liked it.

PLEASE REVIEW!