Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's characters... not ,mine :)

"You did WHAT?"

Alice laughed. "Yep."

"She did WHAT?"

Jasper groaned. "Yep,"

Alice was with Rosalie, organizing the guest list. Looking for advice. She now realized that was the complete last person she should have gone to.

Jasper was in the library with Emmett, who he'd gone to see in attempt to unload everything on his mind. It didn't work.

"Oh man. This is horrible." Rose continued.

"For Jasper right? Yeah I know, but-"

Rosalie looked up from the list of female guests, an incredulous look on her face. "Jasper? Who cares about Jasper? What about the rest of us in the house? I mean, he's gonna be depressed all week!"

Alice groaned. "Seriously, Rose." She shook her head. "Could you be anymore-"

"No but seriously! Alice! If you keep this up, which I really doubt you will, everyone will be depressed during Carlisle's party."

"Nope. It ends just as the party starts." She raised an eyebrow at her with a grin on her face. "You think I can't keep it up?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "No. You'll look at his 'tortured' eyes and be overcome with love or something sickening like that. Plus- hello? No sex for five days?" She laughed, like the idea was unbelievable.

Alice grinned. "I'll get through it. Rose, we normal people have self control, unlike you guys."

Rosalie just smirked at her. "Yeah, as normal as vampires get-"

Alice snapped the guest list book back open. "Okay. We'll talk about depression and lack of sex later- we have a party to plan."

Rosalie clearly wasn't listening to her. Suddenly, she brightened like she'd gotten a great idea. "Okay! I know what we can do!"

"Seating arrangements?"

"What? Anyway… is there a way me and Emmett could like, leave?"

"What?"

"Leave. Home, for like a couple of days till this-" she rolled her eyes, again. "-Disaster… is over."

"Thought you said I couldn't go through with it?"

"Let's just say…. I remembered how capable you are."

Meanwhile, in the library, Jasper was wondering briefly to himself why he'd come to talk about this with Emmett.

Emmett was shaking his head, with a look of amused disbelief on his face. "Jazz, Jazz. You gotta keep your woman under control."

Jasper laughed, throwing a book on Emmett's head. "Shut up."

A look of amusement crossed his face, and then horrified realization. "I've gotta get out of here!" Emmett exclaimed. Jasper looked at him with a raised his eyebrow.

"Oh man. Everyone's gonna be feeling like… you for the whole week-" he groaned.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Thanks for all your support." He muttered

"-But Alice and Esme will probably skin me alive for leaving…" Emmett didn't seem to realize Jasper was there anymore. His voice drifted off as he thought of ways to get out of the house without Alice and Esme knowing- which was basically impossible.

Jasper wondered, once again, why he bothered to come to talk to this brother.

"….I mean, we could go stay in the beach house after Chem. tomorrow, but they'll probably hunt us down…."

"Emmett!"

He turned back, remembering Jasper was there. "Oh yeah. Don't worry dude." He patted Jasper's shoulder, trying not to laugh. "She's not gonna go through with it. You guys will look into each other's eyes and be overcome with love or some nonsense like that- Anyway, on more important issues- I need ideas, how I'm gonna get the hell out of this house-"

Jasper looked at him with an exasperated look on his face. "You want me to help you move out this week…. Because I'll be depressing everyone in the house?"

"Yeah?" Emmett was looking at him oddly, like he didn't get what the problem was.

"-So my mate and mother can kill us both?"

"Pretty much."

Jasper was by the door then. "Er, maybe not. And, oh yeah, thanks for all your help Emmett."

Emmett walked over to him, a serious look on his face. "Dude," he said. "Anytime."

A/N- sorri it's short... i wrote this months ago, but i kept thinking it's too short... no one will like it, but i'm having writer's block and i'm not writing anything new, so why not post it. anyway, maybe reviews will inspire me *hint* *hint* ;)